![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-in-bathtube-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nRicordo che ero seduta in una vasca da bagno piena d'acqua e pensavo a te, a noi, ed erano gi\u00e0 passate quattro settimane dal nostro ultimo addio.<\/p>\n
Quella che pensavo fosse l'ultima volta che saremmo stati insieme.<\/p>\n
Soon after that, I learned what last goodbyes really are\u2014the cold sweat, knots in my stomach and lifeless stares at the bathroom ceiling.<\/p>\n
Stavo vivendo il mio personale incubo distopico. Niente aveva pi\u00f9 senso. Ero estraneo a me stesso. La guerra che avevo dichiarato a me stessa mi aveva lasciata bruciata.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Mi rimasero solo le immense mura di pietra. Vuoti e impossibili da invadere.<\/p>\n
Sadly, all of it wasn\u2019t a nightmare because of the pain of separation\u2014no.<\/p>\n
Potevo solo pregare per un dolore cos\u00ec dolce. Invece \u00e8 stato un incubo, perch\u00e9 hai fatto in modo di ferirmi in ogni modo possibile.<\/p>\n
Hai fatto in modo di cancellare ogni traccia di bellezza che un tempo vedevi in me, tutto perch\u00e9 hai egoisticamente immaginato che la bellezza fosse qualcosa che tu avevi creato in me.<\/p>\n
Non \u00e8 mai stato tuo. Era solo mio. E mi \u00e8 stato portato via.<\/p>\n
![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sad-woman-sitting-and-thinking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Hai fatto in modo di trascinarmi in ogni girone dell'inferno. I wasn\u2019t aware of what happened to me. I was so scared, I let myself believe in every lie you said to me. <\/strong><\/p>\n You made me convince myself I wasn\u2019t worthy of you, of anyone, of living my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Mi faceva male; la mia anima si sentiva come se avesse subito un teletrasporto fallito e avesse perso le sue parti. Faceva male. Non avevo mai provato un dolore simile.<\/p>\n Like a part of me was missing and I couldn\u2019t do anything about it.<\/strong> I was grieving something that wasn\u2019t even dead.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t even tell what parts they were. All I knew was that every chance of feeling joy had been taken away from me.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t even cry. I was so numb.<\/strong><\/p>\n That\u2019s when I started being reckless. I wanted to provoke the feeling. I wanted to untie the fabric of my pain, let it scream and let it go.<\/p>\n I wanted proof that my pain was real. I wanted proof my suffering wasn’t an unhappy love story, a failed relationship, a bad break-up, and was just some momentary discomfort.<\/p>\n \u00c8 stata una perdita dell'anima.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dopo di te, avevo bisogno di raccogliere i pezzi di me stesso e incollarli con ci\u00f2 che ricordavo di essere.<\/p>\n I pezzi continuano a scheggiarsi, a staccarsi e a rompersi, finch\u00e9 non ho capito la mortificante verit\u00e0: non sarei mai stata quella di prima.<\/p>\n The sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn\u2019t what I thought myself to be anymore and I never would be. There was no healing, no therapy that could\u2019ve brought me back.<\/p>\n Ero cambiato per sempre.<\/strong><\/p>\n At first, I was devastated. The horror of losing something forever took over me, and I couldn\u2019t make peace with myself.<\/p>\n Mi resi conto che quel guscio vuoto era ormai me.<\/p>\n Ero piena di paure che non avevo mai conosciuto prima, avevo nuove insicurezze e le mie convinzioni erano cambiate.<\/p>\n The new me didn\u2019t know what love was anymore.<\/strong><\/p>\n She couldn\u2019t feel safe anywhere. She watched others live their lives filled with the ignorance she longed for. She became skeptical and paranoid.<\/p>\n Odiava se stessa e il suo corpo. Ogni volta che qualcuno cercava di stabilire un legame autentico, lei alzava il muro pi\u00f9 freddo.<\/p>\n La gioia e il divertimento sono stati sostituiti da notti di sbronze senza pensieri e amicizie senza senso.<\/p>\n L'amore, con baci indesiderati e numeri cancellati. La pace era sconosciuta.<\/p>\n Non avevo altra scelta che lasciarla vivere e cercare di capirla.<\/p>\n Dopo un lungo periodo di soffocante indifferenza, ho deciso di fare ammenda con la mia nuova me.<\/strong><\/p>\n Giurai a me stesso che l'avrei accettata con tutta la sua miseria, come una volta avevo accettato lui<\/em>.<\/p>\n Ho iniziato a fare tutto quello che volevo fare, senza vergogna. Mi sono permesso di essere tutto ci\u00f2 che avevo bisogno di essere in quel momento.<\/p>\n I let myself feel the sadness, contempt, excitement, disgust, fear, anger, fascination, lust. Everything. And I didn\u2019t judge myself for it.<\/p>\n Quello fu il momento in cui i muri cominciarono lentamente a crollare.<\/strong><\/p>\n When the horror of losing myself began to fade. I started making peace with myself. I started accepting who I was, with or without abuse. It didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n Ho iniziato a considerare la mia vita come una cosa preziosa e degna di essere vissuta. Mi sono data il permesso di andare avanti.<\/p>\n I started finding more and more pieces of myself that didn\u2019t need the glue. They could fit perfectly.<\/p>\n Lentamente ma inesorabilmente, ho capito che stavo costruendo il mio capolavoro. Mi sono reinventato.<\/strong><\/p>\n Ho detto no a ogni tentativo di distinguere il mio fuoco.<\/p>\n I understood I had to grow bigger to make space for everything I could be. My soul parts were never lost\u2014they had to be hidden from the pain because they were so precious.<\/p>\n Il mio dolore mi ha insegnato che ho il potere di trasformarlo in forza.<\/p>\n I finally recognized\u2014I was my soul alchemist<\/p>\n I remember sitting in a bath full of water thinking about you, about us, and it had already been four weeks since we said our last goodbye. What I thought was the last time we would be together. Soon after that, I learned what last goodbyes really are\u2014the cold sweat, knots in my stomach and…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":55251,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29644],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29644,"label":"self-love"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Some-People-Were-Meant-To-Break-You-So-You-Could-Grow-Stronger.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tina Navarro","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tatiana\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29644,"name":"self-love","slug":"self-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29644,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","parent":29643,"count":290,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29644,"category_count":290,"category_description":"Self-love is not an option but a necessity. Boost your self-confidence, learn to love yourself and ditch toxicity because you deserve to be happy.","cat_name":"self-love","category_nicename":"self-love","category_parent":29643}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55242\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-grieving-by-the-sea.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-with-glasses-holding-the-roses.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/younf-woman-looking-unpresent.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"amici](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/friends-drinking-in-the-bar.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/angry-woman-screaming-loudly.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"donna](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/woman-relacing-in-the-hammock.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Alcune](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Some-People-Were-Meant-To-Break-You-So-You-Could-Grow-Stronger-pinterest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"