{"id":64768,"date":"2020-04-23T18:13:14","date_gmt":"2020-04-23T18:13:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=64768"},"modified":"2022-01-12T21:26:40","modified_gmt":"2022-01-12T21:26:40","slug":"odio-il-mio-ragazzo-6-possibili-motivi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/odio-il-mio-ragazzo-6-possibili-motivi\/","title":{"rendered":"Odio il mio ragazzo: 6 possibili ragioni (e cosa fare)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everything he says or does annoys you, his habits are driving you crazy, you can’t look him in the eyes without feeling discomfort, and all you can think is: <\/span>Odio il mio ragazzo<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

You don’t know when or how this happened, but you know that nothing is the same anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ragazza<\/p>\n

La relazione con lui non ti rende pi\u00f9 felice e la sensazione di impotenza pervade il tuo corpo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Era il tuo <\/span>migliore amico<\/span><\/a>Il suo partner, il suo partner nel crimine e un fidanzato fantastico, ma ora vuole che qualcuno le spieghi cosa \u00e8 cambiato esattamente. <\/span><\/p>\n

Come ha iniziato a odiare il suo ragazzo? \u00c8 successo da un giorno all'altro? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Qual \u00e8 il vero motivo per cui non lo vedete pi\u00f9 come prima? E soprattutto, cosa potete fare?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

To these, and many other questions, you’ll find the answers below:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Lo odiate per quello che ha fatto o fa o per quello che \u00e8?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"ragazza<\/p>\n

You’re probably familiar with that wise, old saying: “There’s a reason behind every action.” <\/span><\/p>\n

There’s also a reason why you hate your boyfriend, and you need to ask yourself whether you hate him for what he did or does, or for who he is?<\/span><\/p>\n

Simply put, you need to ask yourself whether you hate him for his actions or you hate him as a person, because there’s a big difference between the two.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vi ha tradito, mentito, manipolato o dato per scontato? Siete state vittime di <\/span><\/i>abuso emotivo<\/span><\/i><\/a>?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Has he stopped making an effort in the relationship and now you’re the only one trying to save what’s left of it?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Do you hate him for all that, or do you hate him for some other reasons that you can’t put into words? <\/span><\/p>\n

If you can’t think of any other reason why you hate him, chances are you no longer like him as a person (or you never even liked him). <\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Every relationship has its ups and downs and overcoming them is the ultimate goal. If you hate him for his actions and it’s evident that his behaviour has changed for the worse, tell him so. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you still feel hurt about something he did to you, don’t pretend that everything is okay because it’s not.<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s normal to feel hatred toward him for treating you like shit and you should let him know how you feel.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

Ditegli cosa provate davvero per le sue azioni e cercate di trovare una soluzione. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tutto \u00e8 possibile se la persona \u00e8 disposta a cambiare. Sapete come si dice: <\/span>“Where there is a will, there is a way”!<\/b><\/p>\n

But, if you hate him as a person, there’s not much you can do about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Significa che lo odiate per quello che \u00e8. Odiate il suo modo di pensare, di respirare e le sue abitudini vi fanno impazzire. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Coppia<\/p>\n

It means you don’t like his vibe and his personality and that’s why you feel like you hate him.<\/span><\/p>\n

You don’t really hate him, but it’s evident that you don’t like him. In that case, a <\/span>rottura<\/span> \u00e8 spesso inevitabile (a meno che non inizi a piacerti (di nuovo)). <\/span><\/p>\n

2. Avete aspettative elevate o irrealistiche nei confronti del vostro partner?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

He doesn’t spend <\/span>tempo sufficiente<\/span> with you (according to your standards), he doesn’t share your <\/span>interessi sessuali<\/span>, stati d'animo o interessi. Non scrive mai o raramente <\/span>Ti amo<\/span><\/i><\/a> su <\/span>social media<\/span>.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Quando non riesce a fare qualcosa che ci si aspetta da lui, l'unica cosa che si pu\u00f2 pensare \u00e8..: <\/span>I <\/span><\/i>odiarti<\/span><\/i>! <\/span><\/i>Quando lui soddisfa i vostri standard, l'unica cosa che riuscite a pensare \u00e8: <\/span>Ti amo<\/span><\/i>!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Your moods shift in accordance with his ability to meet your expectations and that’s the biggest <\/b>segnale di avvertimento<\/b> che avete aspettative irrealistiche nei confronti della vostra relazione.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

Pensate che debba dedicare tutto il suo tempo libero o ogni <\/span>singolo giorno<\/span> con te?<\/span><\/p>\n

Pensate che lui debba essere d'accordo con tutto ci\u00f2 che volete nella relazione perch\u00e9 la sua priorit\u00e0 dovrebbe essere quella di rendervi felici? <\/span><\/p>\n

Vi sentite devastati e traditi quando rifiuta o dimentica di fare qualcosa che volevate che facesse? <\/span><\/p>\n

If yes, then you’re suffering from a syndrome called “having unrealistic expectations of a partner in a relationship”. <\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"un<\/p>\n

Prima di tutto, \u00e8 necessario capire che <\/span>a <\/span>relazione felice<\/span><\/a> non significa passare tutto il tempo insieme o pretendere che il partner faccia tutto quello che vuole. <\/span><\/p>\n

Rather, it is about also having your own lives outside the relationship and respecting each other’s wishes and differences.<\/span><\/p>\n

That’s how every healthy <\/span>la relazione funziona<\/span>. <\/span>Compromesso, comprensione, pazienza.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"Coppia<\/p>\n

Spendere un <\/span>molto tempo<\/span> con il vostro <\/span>altro significativo<\/span> o che soddisfino ogni vostra aspettativa non \u00e8 una ricetta per la felicit\u00e0. <\/span><\/p>\n

It is a recipe for disaster – and that’s the main reason why you feel hatred toward him.<\/span><\/p>\n

You hate him because he’s incapable of filling the role you want for him.  <\/span>Ma le relazioni non si basano su ruoli o aspettative.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Giovane
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

They’re about understanding each other’s wishes and needs, being patient, and being willing to compromise instead of imposing your own regimen. <\/span><\/p>\n

Una volta capito tutto questo, la vostra prospettiva cambier\u00e0 completamente. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non odierete pi\u00f9 il vostro partner perch\u00e9 non soddisfa le vostre aspettative, ma gli darete spazio per esprimersi e sentirsi libero di essere chi \u00e8 veramente.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Siete molto sensibili, <\/b>ansioso<\/b><\/a> o depresso?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Salute mentale<\/span> gioca un ruolo fondamentale in ogni relazione. Essendo una persona molto sensibile e soffrendo di disturbi d'ansia, posso dire con certezza che questo pu\u00f2 influenzare notevolmente il nostro comportamento e la percezione del nostro partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you’re <\/span>altamente sensibile<\/span><\/a>Ogni singola cosa che fanno vi far\u00e0 impazzire. <\/span><\/p>\n

You will hate all kinds of sounds they make while they’re sleeping (not to mention their snoring). <\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Odierete il modo in cui iniziano ad agitarsi quando guardate la TV insieme e a volte odierete anche il modo in cui respirano mentre sono seduti accanto a voi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Tutto questo varia a seconda dei livelli di sensibilit\u00e0. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nessun giorno \u00e8 uguale all'altro e a volte le cose che prima vi infastidivano passano inosservate.<\/span><\/p>\n

Se soffrite di ansia o depressione, a volte incolpate involontariamente il vostro partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Potreste incolparli per cose banali e per il vostro attuale stato d'animo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Quando i livelli di ansia e depressione aumentano, potreste provare odio verso il vostro partner senza un motivo apparente. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you’re feeling sad, alone and lost, you subconsciously start observing everything from a no-so-bright perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Essere molto sensibili, ansiosi o depressi \u00e8 una condizione grave che talvolta deve essere trattata con farmaci. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nel mio caso, praticare uno stile di vita sano, andare regolarmente in palestra, mangiare cibo sano ed esprimermi (disegnare, scrivere, cantare) ha contribuito a ridurre l'ansia a un livello accettabile.<\/span><\/p>\n

When it comes to relationships and this specific matter, the most important thing to do is to understand your mental state; why you sometimes feel the way you’re feeling. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Ritratto<\/p>\n

When you’re able to understand that feeling sad or sensitive is not connected with your partner, but with your current state of mind, you will succeed in differentiating between the two.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hating the condition you’re in often results in hating your partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

That’s why it’s important to separate these two things, stop for a moment, and ask yourself: <\/span>Why do I feel the way I’m feeling?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Fate un respiro profondo e pensate a tutte le emozioni, i sentimenti e i pensieri che vi passano per la testa.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Poi chiedetevi se hanno a che fare con il vostro partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

You’ll probably realize that all this is in your head and you don’t really hate your partner – you just hate the feeling of helplessness and confusion.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vedi anche: <\/span>Come sapere quando <\/span>Lasciarsi<\/span>? 20 segni che dovrebbero porre fine alla vostra relazione<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

4. Pensa che il suo partner sia responsabile della sua felicit\u00e0?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"coppia
\nWe often unwittingly put our happiness into someone else’s hands. <\/span><\/p>\n

Spesso pensiamo che il nostro <\/span>altro significativo<\/span> \u00e8 responsabile della nostra felicit\u00e0.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when they don’t make us happy, we blame them for that.<\/span><\/p>\n

We start to hate them and we think they’re no longer good for us. <\/span><\/p>\n

If they can’t make us happy, they haven’t fulfilled their “duty” and we have every right to be mad at them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

At least that’s what we think. But, the reality is somewhat different. <\/span><\/p>\n

La verit\u00e0 \u00e8 che l'unica persona responsabile della vostra felicit\u00e0 siete voi!<\/b><\/p>\n

Basso <\/span>autostima<\/span> e la mancanza di <\/span>autostima<\/span> can sometimes trick you into believing that you’re not capable of being happy on your own. That you need others to introduce you to the term called happiness. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mettete il vostro <\/span>benessere<\/span>, your feelings, and everything else in other people’s hands and you hold them responsible if they fail to make you happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

Se pensate che il vostro partner sia responsabile della vostra felicit\u00e0, dovete iniziare a lavorare per abbracciare e comprendere il vostro vero io. Voi siete abbastanza!<\/span><\/p>\n

You need to understand that you’re perfectly capable of being happy on your own and you should never put your own happiness in the hands of others. <\/span><\/p>\n

This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t make you happy. <\/span>Ma dovrebbe essere il risultato della loro volont\u00e0 e non una necessit\u00e0.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"giovane<\/p>\n

Il vostro partner \u00e8 un <\/span>essere umano<\/span> che non \u00e8 obbligato a rendervi felici, ma anzi vuole farlo.<\/span><\/p>\n

And there’s a huge difference between the two. When you think of it as a must, it creates hatred and frustration.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ma se lo si considera come un dono, si crea comprensione e apprezzamento.<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Siete d'accordo con il suo stile di vita?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"coppia
\nTu vuoi andare a correre, ma lui vuole giocare. <\/span>videogiochi<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n

La vostra giornata \u00e8 piena di attivit\u00e0 divertenti e di obblighi, mentre la sua occupazione principale \u00e8 sdraiarsi sul divano e guardare Netflix. <\/span><\/p>\n

You’re trying your best to live a <\/span>stile di vita olistico<\/span><\/a>mangiare cibi sani, fare esercizio fisico e migliorare se stessi, mentre il tuo ragazzo noioso<\/a> \u00e8 attraversare la vita con il minimo sforzo e volont\u00e0. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve become disappointed in his way of living and the first thing to <\/span>pop up<\/span> nel vostro cervello: <\/span>Dio, <\/span><\/i>Odio il mio ragazzo<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\"La<\/p>\n

Si vorrebbe che fosse pi\u00f9 attivo o che passasse meno tempo a giocare. <\/span>videogiochi<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Vorresti che fosse un uomo vero, capace e disposto a prendersi cura di s\u00e9 e a lavorare su se stesso. <\/span><\/p>\n

The longer you ignore all this and pretend it’s not a big deal, the more hatred accumulates. <\/span><\/p>\n

You don’t agree with his lifestyle and you wish something would change, but you don’t know how to initiate it because everything you try ends up in accusations or judging. Is there a way to deal with this successfully? Let’s see.<\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

If you don’t agree with his lifestyle because he’s doing harm to his own <\/span>benessere<\/span> fumando troppo, mangiando cibo spazzatura e stando sul divano, avete tutto il diritto di riconoscerlo. Ma dovreste farlo in modo non accusatorio.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tell him that you’re worried about him and that you wish he was more productive and engaged.<\/span><\/p>\n

Motivate him to roll up his sleeves and start working on himself, but don’t give him ultimatums. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

After you’ve tried everything, if still nothing changes and you’re not happy with his way of living, you should seriously reconsider your decision to be with him in the first place. <\/span><\/p>\n

It’s hard to watch someone you care about destroying themselves without even trying to make things better. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, everyone has a right to choose their own lifestyle and if you don’t approve of it, you also have a right to choose not to put up with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Avete difficolt\u00e0 a riconoscere il vostro ruolo nei conflitti?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/span><\/p>\n

A volte siamo cos\u00ec occupati dai nostri partner che non riusciamo a riconoscere i nostri errori.<\/span><\/p>\n

We give all out=r attention to what they’re doing thus missing what we are doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pensa che il suo ragazzo sia l'unico da biasimare quando sorge un conflitto? <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensate che le uniche cose che influenzano la vostra relazione siano le sue parole e le sue azioni?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

“It takes two to tango.” It also takes two to be in a relationship and to fight. <\/b><\/p>\n

Perhaps you hate your boyfriend because you’re convinced that he’s the main villain in your relationship and he’s the only one who should apologize after a conflict or when something bad happens.<\/span><\/p>\n

Forse vi rifiutate di riconoscere il vostro ruolo, di accettare le conseguenze delle vostre azioni e di chiedere scusa, se necessario.<\/span><\/p>\n

COSA FARE<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

If this is the case, you need to stop thinking of your relationship as a unit where one partner is wrong and the other one is right. No one’s wrong and no one’s right. <\/span><\/p>\n

You need to stop thinking that you’re always right and that your partner is the one to blame for everything. <\/span>Ogni relazione \u00e8 un mix di alti e bassi.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Una<\/p>\n

Both partners make mistakes and what’s important is that they apologize for it and they do their best to make things right. Effort is the keyword here. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of focusing on hating your boyfriend after every conflict, focus on trying to understand what happened and how you can make it right with mutual effort. And that’s the key to a <\/span>relazione felice<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n

E la domanda finale:<\/span><\/p>\n

Pensate che sareste pi\u00f9 felici con qualcun altro? Perch\u00e9?<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Permettetemi di riformulare questo concetto:<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you hate your boyfriend because you’re unhappy with him or because you think there is someone better out there for you? <\/span><\/p>\n

Vi capita spesso di fantasticare di avere una relazione perfetta con qualcun altro?<\/span><\/p>\n

Noi <\/span>esseri umani<\/span> often forget that perfection doesn’t exist. <\/span><\/p>\n

We get convinced that what we have in front of us is not worthy of our time and effort because there’s something better out there that won’t require fixing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Ci illudiamo di pensare che <\/span>l'erba \u00e8 pi\u00f9 verde<\/span><\/a> on the other side of the fence. But, it’s not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ogni relazione richiede sforzo, sacrificio e pazienza.<\/span><\/p>\n

La cosa pi\u00f9 semplice da fare \u00e8 <\/span>rottura<\/span> with someone and hope that the next relationship won’t be so demanding.<\/span><\/p>\n

La cosa pi\u00f9 semplice da fare \u00e8 ripetere nella propria testa <\/span>Odio il mio ragazzo<\/span><\/i> e decidere di non fare nulla al riguardo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cercare di finire una battaglia prima ancora che sia iniziata \u00e8 ci\u00f2 che fanno i soldati deboli. <\/i><\/b>But, you’re not like that. <\/span>You’re not a weak soldier.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

You’re a strong woman who will do her best to find out why she’s feeling a certain way about her boyfriend, and who will try to fix things together (if you still care about saving your relationship).<\/span><\/p>\n

After all that, if you still feel like there’s something missing, you will finish your battle gracefully and like a real soldier.<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

You won’t dwell upon the thought ‘What if’. You will sail into the future with an open mind and a brave heart, knowing you did everything you could.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Vedi anche: <\/span>Come sistemare una relazione interrotta? 10 modi per ricucire le cose<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"Odio<\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everything he says or does annoys you, his habits are driving you crazy, you can’t look him in the eyes without feeling discomfort, and all you can think is: I hate my boyfriend. You don’t know when or how this happened, but you know that nothing is the same anymore. Being in a relationship with…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":65867,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-64768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29622,"label":"relationship advice"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/I-Hate-My-Boyfriend-6-Possible-Reasons-Why-And-What-To-Do-1.jpg",800,550,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29622,"name":"relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29622,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","parent":29620,"count":544,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29622,"category_count":544,"category_description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","cat_name":"relationship advice","category_nicename":"relationship-advice","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64768"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64768\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/65867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=64768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}