{"id":77197,"date":"2020-06-08T09:32:45","date_gmt":"2020-06-08T09:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=77197"},"modified":"2021-08-12T07:50:46","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T07:50:46","slug":"perche-facciamo-del-male-a-chi-amiamo-11-ragioni-nascoste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/perche-facciamo-del-male-a-chi-amiamo-11-ragioni-nascoste\/","title":{"rendered":"Perch\u00e9 facciamo del male alle persone che amiamo: 11 ragioni nascoste"},"content":{"rendered":"

L'amore \u00e8 davvero l'arma pi\u00f9 potente. Pu\u00f2 farvi sentire al settimo cielo, ma ha anche il potere di distruggervi. Tutti dicono che l'amore \u00e8 il sentimento pi\u00f9 bello del mondo.<\/p>\n

Well, there is nothing beautiful about pain and I’m sure we have all been hurt by someone we loved \u2013 or we have unintentionally hurt someone we loved.<\/p>\n

Se l'amore \u00e8 cos\u00ec bello, perch\u00e9 a volte fa cos\u00ec male? Vi siete mai chiesti perch\u00e9 facciamo del male a chi amiamo?<\/p>\n

The fact is that love can’t exist senza ferite emotive<\/a>. <\/strong><\/p>\n

A volte ci capita di essere feriti dalle persone che amiamo di pi\u00f9, e a volte feriamo i nostri cari involontariamente, anche se in realt\u00e0 sono quelli che vogliamo proteggere di pi\u00f9.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c8 scientificamente provato che le persone fanno pi\u00f9 male ai loro familiari o alle persone con cui condividono relazioni intime.<\/p>\n

This is because we know that, because they love us, they\u2019ll forgive us in no time and we’ll be able to move on without looking back.<\/p>\n

If you want to know why we hurt people we love the most, I\u2019ve listed some of the most common reasons below.<\/p>\n

Bagaglio emotivo<\/h2>\n

\"marito<\/p>\n

Ogni volta che si chiude una relazione, bisogna prendersi del tempo per se stessi. Bisogna stare un po' da soli e pensare ai propri sentimenti.<\/p>\n

You need to forgive your exes for all of their broken promises, for all the times they let you down, and for the heartbreak they\u2019ve caused you.<\/p>\n

Prima di decidere di ricominciare a frequentare qualcuno, bisogna lasciarsi alle spalle il passato.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You should never enter a new relationship if you have any unresolved matters from the past. Trust me, starting a new relationship when you aren’t ready never ends well.<\/p>\n

Also, it’s not fair to the other person. It’s not their fault that your ex betrayed and hurt you. Your new partner shouldn’t pay for someone else\u2019s mistakes.<\/p>\n

If you don’t move on properly, you’ll only hurt your next partner. You won’t be able to trust them. You won’t be able to relax and enjoy your new relationship.<\/p>\n

Certo che il tuo bagaglio emotivo<\/a> can teach you some things but don’t take it too seriously.<\/p>\n

Don’t let your childhood experiences shape your opinion about love. Every love story is unique. The love story of your parents isn’t how yours should or will be like.<\/p>\n

If you let those experiences control your love life, it’ll only restrain you. It can confuse you or cause you even more pain than the heartbreak itself.<\/p>\n

That’s why it’s important for you to take time.<\/p>\n

Dovreste prendervi tutto il tempo necessario per guarire adeguatamente, per riflettere su tutto ci\u00f2 che vi \u00e8 accaduto e poi per andare avanti senza serbare rancore e amarezza.<\/p>\n

You aren’t sure if they’re “the one”<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

You are in a relationship and you honestly love your significant other. However, you can’t get rid of the feeling that something is missing.<\/p>\n

You can’t imagine your future together and soon you start doubting whether you even want to spend the rest of your life with them.<\/p>\n

Iniziate ad allontanarvi dal vostro partner perch\u00e9 volete pensare alla vostra relazione.<\/p>\n

Maybe you want to think about it so you don’t waste any more of their or your own precious time on a relationship that doesn’t have any future.<\/p>\n

The mistake that most of us make is that we don’t sit and talk honestly with our partners. They deserve to know what’s happening.<\/p>\n

You hurt your significant other, even though, sometimes you aren’t aware of it. They spend a lot of time looking for a reason why you\u2019ve become so cold all of a sudden.<\/p>\n

It also affects their self-esteem and self-worth. They start thinking they are the problem, that maybe they aren’t good enough for you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you need to think about your relationship and decide whether you want to break up or continue dating that person. Right after you’ve made the decision, you have to tell your partner.<\/p>\n

Paura di impegnarsi<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

This is the most common reason for hurting the ones you love. It’s a feeling that’s not so easy to control.<\/p>\n

Molte persone (soprattutto ragazzi) hanno un paura di impegnarsi<\/a> quando vedono che la loro relazione sta diventando seria.<\/p>\n

Most are avoiding relationships in general or they only date short term. They don’t want to be tied down yet and they want to keep enjoying their freedom.<\/p>\n

Things get difficult when they fall in love. They can’t leave a person they love, but they also don’t want to take the next step.<\/p>\n

They get confused. Their mixed feelings don’t allow them to think clearly. It causes them to suffer from anxiety.<\/p>\n

It seems like they can’t explain to their partner that they don’t want to break up, but they also don’t want to commit to something more serious.<\/p>\n

Cominciano a evitare di parlare del futuro della loro relazione.<\/p>\n

Their partner is also confused because they don’t know what to think about the relationship \u2013 whether it’s doomed to fail or if they should give the other person some space.<\/p>\n

Paura dell'intimit\u00e0<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

If you’ve been dating someone for a while but still don’t feel comfortable around them, or you still can\u2019t show them the real you, it means that you’re afraid of intimacy.<\/p>\n

La paura di condividere un legame emotivo stretto con un'altra persona pu\u00f2 essere causata da esperienze del passato.<\/p>\n

Le ragioni pi\u00f9 comuni sono le esperienze dell'infanzia o le esperienze negative dell'ultima relazione.<\/p>\n

You always hurt the one you love because you’re afraid to indulge completely in a relationship. Your partner feels it and it seems to them that no matter what they do, they just can’t gain your trust.<\/p>\n

Eventually, they’ll stop trying. They’ll get tired and the only option for them will be to break up with you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you’ll never be able to achieve a real and deep connection with someone until you overcome your fear of intimacy.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, it is possible and it’s not difficult at all. The most important thing is that you always have to be honest with your partner about your past.<\/p>\n

Inoltre, dite loro come vi sentite e cosa vi aspettate da loro.<\/p>\n

Problemi di autostima<\/h2>\n

\"immagine<\/p>\n

Il rapporto che avete con voi stessi \u00e8 il fondamento di ogni altro rapporto della vostra vita, il che significa che influenza tutti gli altri rapporti della vostra vita.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se avete un rapporto buono e sano con voi stessi, questo si rifletter\u00e0 in modo significativo su tutte le altre relazioni.<\/p>\n

Purtroppo oggi molte persone hanno problemi di autostima e questo crea aspettative negative nei confronti di una relazione.<\/p>\n

If you don’t have self-confidence, you’ll always feel like your partner isn’t being honest with you and that they’ll eventually hurt you.<\/p>\n

That’s why you’ll also be afraid of showing your vulnerability in the relationship.<\/p>\n

You’ll hurt your partner by not trusting them or not being able to form a deeper connection with them, even after a while.<\/p>\n

Se state soffrendo da una bassa autostima<\/a> and you don’t work on yourself, you’ll be open to many negative feelings.<\/p>\n

You’ll have trust issues, you’ll feel depressed, jealous, and anxious all the time.<\/p>\n

Gelosia<\/h2>\n

\"una<\/p>\n

Too much of everything isn’t healthy. It\u2019s the same with jealousy. It\u2019s never a good thing when you let jealousy blind you.<\/p>\n

The way you behave when you feel jealous is never predictable. It’s also one of those feelings that are hard to control.<\/p>\n

La gelosia \u00e8 un sentimento negativo. Rende infelici e fa soffrire la persona che si ama. Quasi sempre rovina la relazione.<\/p>\n

Se vi comportate in modo geloso per qualcosa nella vostra relazione, dovete parlarne con il vostro partner. Tuttavia, \u00e8 necessario prestare attenzione al modo in cui si parla con lui.<\/p>\n

You mustn’t express anger or any other negative feelings. You have to calmly explain to your partner what is making you feel jealous and how you can find a solution to fix it.<\/p>\n

If your partner has betrayed your trust, then your jealousy is justified. But when you get jealous over little things, then you\u2019re not showing love; you\u2019re only revealing your own insecurities.<\/p>\n

You’re hurting the other person because of your own insecurities, not because they did something wrong. You’re making them pay for something they didn’t even do.<\/p>\n

If you have been hurt and betrayed by a person you loved in the past, it’s perfectly normal that those bad experiences have left you with trust issues.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, non dovete mai lasciare che questo influisca sulla vostra nuova relazione.<\/p>\n

Se gelosia per<\/a> something stupid or without any reaso\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200bn, you’re just making yourself and your loved one unhappy. It is a complete waste of time.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Mancanza di capacit\u00e0 di comunicazione<\/h2>\n

\"coppia<\/p>\n

Una comunicazione efficace \u00e8 la parte pi\u00f9 importante di ogni relazione sana.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se imparate a risolvere i vostri problemi e i vostri litigi in modo sano, non sarete mai feriti n\u00e9 farete mai del male al vostro partner.<\/p>\n

Se voi e il vostro partner litigate per qualcosa (e lo farete, perch\u00e9 i litigi fanno parte di ogni relazione sana), dovete essere in grado di controllare le vostre parole e i vostri sentimenti.<\/p>\n

If you say something in the heat of the moment, something that might hurt your loved one, you may regret it later but it will be too late because you\u2019ll have already hurt your partner.<\/p>\n

Spoken words can’t be taken back and they’ll always be remembered.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Words are also powerful and that’s why you have to choose them carefully. They can crush someone’s heart.<\/p>\n

Non importa quante volte vi scuserete e anche se decideranno di perdonarvi, il vostro partner si ricorder\u00e0 sempre di quelle offese.<\/p>\n

If you see that your partner isn’t communicating with you like they used to, the first thing you have to identify is “why”.<\/p>\n

Dopo aver scoperto il motivo, \u00e8 necessario sedersi con il partner e risolvere la questione.<\/p>\n

Dovete anche imparare a essere un buon ascoltatore. Dovete assicurarvi che il vostro partner sappia che lo state ascoltando e che gli state dicendo quello che ha da dire.<\/p>\n

Quando manca la comunicazione, ci si concentra pi\u00f9 su se stessi che sul partner e viceversa.<\/p>\n

You only think about your problems and the things that you don’t like \u2013 you don’t think about all the things that are bothering your significant other.<\/p>\n

Per testare i loro sentimenti<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

This might sound strange or funny, but it’s true. We want to make sure that our partner loves us as much as they say they do or as much as we love them, so we put their feelings to the test.<\/p>\n

We think if they honestly love us, then they will also be afraid of losing us. Consequently, they’ll be able to forgive us if we hurt them.<\/p>\n

In a way, that’s how we want them to prove their love to us. There are so many ways you can test your partner’s feelings and this is probably the worst one.<\/p>\n

If you have doubts about your partner’s feelings, you should be sincere with them and admit to them that you may have to be reassured at times.<\/p>\n

The next time you think about testing your loved one’s feelings by doing something that could hurt them, just imagine how you would feel if they did the same thing to you.<\/p>\n

Aspettative irrealistiche<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Having expectations is great because it shows that you have some standards and you appreciate yourself. But, there’s a huge difference between knowing your self-worth and being overly demanding.<\/p>\n

Avere aspettative elevate \u00e8 un killer per ogni relazione. Prima di tutto fa male a voi stessi, poi vi fa venire voglia di ferire il vostro partner per non essere in grado di soddisfare le vostre aspettative<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You can’t expect your partner to behave the way you want them to all the time. They also have their own standards and there are some things that they won’t do, no matter how much they love you.<\/p>\n

Naturalmente, non dovreste mai abbassare i vostri standard e permettere a qualcuno di trattarvi male. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Anche se, per il bene del vostro benessere emotivo, dovreste smetterla di porre aspettative cos\u00ec elevate.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

You should set some basic and important boundaries that you mustn’t let anyone cross. For everything else, you can talk and compromise with your partner.<\/p>\n

When you realize that your partner is not able to fulfill all your expectations, you feel disappointed and hurt and you start thinking that they don’t even love you.<\/p>\n

You get mad and your intention becomes to hurt them. Can you see it? In the end, It\u2019s only your fault you\u2019re hurt and disappointed.<\/p>\n

Prima di stabilire queste aspettative per il vostro partner, dovete sapere che le aspettative irrealistiche portano sempre a grandi delusioni.<\/p>\n

Cercate una via d'uscita da una relazione<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Porre fine a una relazione non \u00e8 mai facile, ma l'unico modo giusto per farlo \u00e8 dirlo al partner di persona.<\/p>\n

If you hurt them so as to manipulate them into leaving you, it only means that you’re a coward for not being brave enough to tell them to their face.<\/p>\n

Maybe you’re hurting them because you can’t admit even to yourself that your relationship has come to an end.<\/p>\n

Maybe you’re doing it unintentionally.<\/p>\n

However, that’s not an excuse. If you’re not sure how you feel about them anymore, you can always ask them for some space to be alone with your thoughts.<\/p>\n

Dopodich\u00e9, l'unica cosa giusta da fare \u00e8 trovare il coraggio di dire loro ci\u00f2 che avete deciso.<\/p>\n

La vendetta<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Your partner has hurt you and you have chosen to forgive him and move on with your relationship. However, you aren’t at peace and you might start thinking that only revenge can make you feel better.<\/p>\n

Some people believe in that kind of \u2018an eye for an eye\u2019 justice.<\/p>\n

Credono senza alcun dubbio che se fanno qualcosa che fa soffrire il partner, questo lo far\u00e0 sentire meglio e che il suo dolore emotivo diminuir\u00e0.<\/p>\n

Wrong. Revenge only brings more negative feelings and you still won’t feel any better. Your pain will still be there.<\/p>\n

La cosa pi\u00f9 importante \u00e8 che quando decidete di perdonare qualcuno per qualcosa che vi ha fatto, dovete essere sinceri.<\/p>\n

Trust me, if you’re still holding grudges, even though you’ve said that you\u2019ve forgiven your partner, you’ll only hurt yourself.<\/p>\n

Ci sono molte ragioni per cui feriamo le persone che amiamo. La cosa pi\u00f9 importante \u00e8 che quasi sempre lo facciamo involontariamente.<\/p>\n

After all, there\u2019s one thing we should all know; we can’t intentionally hurt the person we love without hurting ourselves, because when we truly love someone, we feel their pain as our own.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"PERCH\u00c9<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Love is truly the most powerful weapon. It can make you feel like you are in seventh heaven but it also has the power to destroy you. Everyone says that love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. Well, there is nothing beautiful about pain and I’m sure we have all been hurt by…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":77236,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29637],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-hacks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29637,"label":"life hacks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Why-Do-We-Hurt-The-Ones-We-Love_jpg.jpg",800,502,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29637,"name":"life hacks","slug":"life-hacks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29637,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","parent":22911,"count":281,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29637,"category_count":281,"category_description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","cat_name":"life hacks","category_nicename":"life-hacks","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77197\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/77236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}