{"id":7794,"date":"2019-11-01T09:30:59","date_gmt":"2019-11-01T09:30:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=7794"},"modified":"2022-01-19T15:09:18","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:09:18","slug":"odio-far-sentire-la-colpa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/odio-far-sentire-la-colpa\/","title":{"rendered":"Ti odio per avermi fatto sentire che era tutta colpa mia"},"content":{"rendered":"

Al mio <\/span>Preferito <\/span><\/i>Mostro,<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I could say I don\u2019t feel a thing toward you. I wish I could say you can\u2019t get to me anymore, but, unfortunately, I\u2019m not one of those women who can find the strength to forgive their abusers in order to move on. <\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t forgive you and I can\u2019t let go of the things you did to me. I still get shivers when I remember the things you did to me and the things I let you do to me. I hate you for it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though I know better now, I\u2019m going to ask myself for the rest of my life why I wasn\u2019t good enough. <\/span><\/p>\n

I still wonder if I\u2019m ever going to be able to shake the feeling that all of it is my fault and if I\u2019m ever going to stop apologizing for the things I am not guilty of. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi hai fatto sentire completamente inutile. Mi hai rovinato emotivamente facendo la vittima delle circostanze che hai creato e facendomi sentire come se fossi<\/a> il mostro. <\/b><\/p>\n

You blamed me for you going out and drinking every night. It was my fault you showed up late, smelling of another woman\u2019s perfume. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because if I had been good enough, you would\u2019ve never done something like that. <\/span><\/p>\n

You made me out to be a lunatic whenever I wanted to know where you\u2019d been. <\/b>Mi hai fatto sentire come se fossi io quella pazza<\/a> quando ti ho spiegato che non passavamo mai del tempo insieme, che non ero pi\u00f9 la tua priorit\u00e0, e tu hai detto che era colpa mia se non mi dimostravi pi\u00f9 amore. <\/span><\/p>\n

And then, after you\u2019d said your fair share of words that cut my heart like knives, you\u2019d leave and I\u2019d stay sobbing on the floor, asking myself how I got there. <\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, you came across as a truly nice person and that\u2019s why I held on so long. <\/b>I held on and held on and I couldn\u2019t let go until there was only letting go left. <\/span><\/p>\n

Fino a quando Sono finito in un incubo<\/a>, one from which I couldn\u2019t wake up. The worst part of that nightmare was the fact that the monster who haunted me was actually the man I loved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nobody ever told me that monsters are real. Nobody ever told me that they look like people. Nobody warned me you\u2019d turn into a monster the minute I fell for you. <\/span><\/p>\n

But that was how the things needed to develop so that you\u2019d have so much power over me. You needed me to love you in order for you to be able to have me under your feet, incapable of getting up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vedi anche:<\/strong> 5 modi in cui i narcisisti vi costringono ad abbandonare la vostra relazione<\/a><\/p>\n

I am so mad at myself for being so nice, for apologizing for the things I didn\u2019t do, for making you my life, for being dependent on you, for wasting my time on you, for forgiving you and missing you when you weren\u2019t around and allowing you to get back with me whenever you wanted, even though I knew better.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Ragazza<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I deserved better than being ignored, better than being someone\u2019s punching bag, better than being manipulated and I deserved better than you. <\/b><\/p>\n

I tried to show you how much the things you did to me hurt, but I couldn\u2019t. You never let me. <\/span><\/p>\n

But if I had been to able to show you how much you hurt me, you\u2019d have never had the courage to look me in the eye again. Maybe that was the main reason you never wanted to hear how I felt. <\/span><\/p>\n

Forse \u00e8 per questo che non mi hai mai permesso di raccontarti le cose che mi hai fatto. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mi hai detto che ero colpevole di tutto questo e che me l'ero cercata. <\/b>You told me I shouldn\u2019t have been so sensitive or stupid or naive. You left me emotionally drained, confused and feeling useless. Each time you came after me, I felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing I ever did was right and I was blamed for all your mistakes. <\/span><\/p>\n

La parte brutta \u00e8 che volevo che tu fossi mia. Ti volevo, nonostante sapessi quanto facesse male stare con te. Ho accettato di essere torturato, perch\u00e9 avevo troppa paura di perderti. <\/span><\/p>\n

Avevo paura di perderti, finch\u00e9 qualcuno non mi ha fatto capire che non tutto ci\u00f2 che perdo \u00e8 una perdita.<\/a> E perderti non \u00e8 stata una perdita. \u00c8 stata una beatitudine. <\/span><\/p>\n

Non mi sono mai sentito cos\u00ec potente come quando mi sono liberato dalle tue catene.<\/b> Non mi sono mai sentita cos\u00ec persa come quando sono rimasta senza di te, perch\u00e9 non c'era nessuno che mi dicesse cosa fare. <\/span><\/p>\n

Despite that, I had never felt more free in my entire life. I was drained and lost and scared, but I knew that no matter what happened to me from that point, it couldn\u2019t be any worse than what I\u2019d already been through. <\/span><\/p>\n

So che tutti noi dobbiamo imparare delle lezioni nella vita e tu, mio <\/span>caro <\/span><\/i>mostro, erano la lezione peggiore<\/a> che mi sia mai capitato. Mi pento molto di questa lezione e mi vergogno di averti permesso di fare di me il tuo burattino per cos\u00ec tanto tempo. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ma quando \u00e8 troppo \u00e8 troppo. Basta.<\/span><\/p>\n

The monster in you created somebody so strong that you can\u2019t even wrap your head around it. Even though I get shivers from flashbacks of the times when we were together, I am not afraid of you.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t blame me for anything anymore. You can’t torture me and you can’t bring me down.<\/p>\n

Questa ragazza si \u00e8 svegliata dal suo peggior incubo. Non hai pi\u00f9 alcun potere su di me.<\/p>\n

Fai una vita bella e molto distanziata, lontano da me,
\nDa \"Quello che \u00e8 andato via\".<\/p>\n

\"TI<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To My Favorite Monster, I wish I could say I don\u2019t feel a thing toward you. I wish I could say you can\u2019t get to me anymore, but, unfortunately, I\u2019m not one of those women who can find the strength to forgive their abusers in order to move on. I don\u2019t forgive you and I…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":7795,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/averie-woodard-205419.jpg",800,567,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7794\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}