How can you do that? It\u2019s easy to say, \u201cI\u2019m listening.\u201d But listening is hard. Trust me, I\u2019m a talker and I have had to learn how to stop waiting for my turn to talk. So hear me out for a minute, and if you practice what I preach, anche voi potete imparare a stare zitti e ad ascoltare<\/a>. (In real talk, I don\u2019t always practice what I preach, so if you find me not listening and\/or not validating you\u2026 say so!) What is the difference between listening and waiting for your turn to talk? L'ascolto consiste nel cercare attivamente di sentire ci\u00f2 che un'altra persona sta dicendo con l'intenzione di capire dal suo punto di vista.<\/strong> It becomes obvious when one is just waiting to respond – interrupting, interjecting and defending yourself while your partner is still talking are a few giveaways. Try instead to…<\/p>\n Questo potrebbe creare un ulteriore silenzio quando hanno finito di parlare, mentre voi assorbite quello che vi hanno detto e in quel silenzio potreste scoprire che continuano. Quando le persone si sentono ascoltate, si aprono a dire altre cose e mentre le ascoltate, senza giudicarle o difendersi, spesso scoprirete che questo \u00e8 sufficiente per iniziare ad alleviare la loro frustrazione.<\/p>\n You want to try to understand the situation from your partner\u2019s point of view, not yours. It\u2019s not about what you would do in a similar situation, it\u2019s not about how you would feel if it were you, and it is definitely not about how you think your partner should feel.<\/p>\n Bearing in mind that, even though it may not make sense to you (yet), how they are feeling is very real to them and dismissing the said feeling as false will not likely dispel it. For example, if your partner says to you, \u201cYou don\u2019t care about anything I have to say,\u201d your instinct may be to defend yourself. You might be thinking, \u2018Of course I do…\u201d while feeling irritated that they don\u2019t know that. Your first response may be to defend yourself and dismiss your partner’s feelings as false but the thing is, even if it isn\u2019t \u2018true\u2019, if your partner feels that you don\u2019t care about anything they have to say, and they tell you that\u2026 as I said, it is, however, real to them. Instead of diventare difensivi<\/a>, try to determine how they\u2019ve come to that conclusion.<\/p>\n You may find upon closer inspection that you have been putting out signals that you didn\u2019t even realize and you can take this opportunity to reassure your partner. Or your partner may be way off base and has misinterpreted something, in which case you can take this opportunity to rectify the misperception in a way that is mindful of your partner\u2019s feelings. In either scenario, if you are not able to step outside of yourself to see what your partner is seeing, even if you don\u2019t agree with it\u2026 it will only cause frustration for you both.<\/p>\n1. Concentratevi su ci\u00f2 che il vostro interlocutore vi sta dicendo, senza formulare una risposta prima che abbia finito di pronunciare le parole.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
2. Remember that it\u2019s not about you right now.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
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<\/p>\n3. Ask your partner to explain why they feel the way they do, or how they have come to a conclusion that doesn\u2019t make sense to you.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n