{"id":99899,"date":"2020-09-21T16:08:00","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T16:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=99899"},"modified":"2021-08-12T07:07:10","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T07:07:10","slug":"cose-da-fare-quando-si-fa-del-male-a-qualcuno","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/cose-da-fare-quando-si-fa-del-male-a-qualcuno\/","title":{"rendered":"9 cose da fare quando si fa del male a qualcuno"},"content":{"rendered":"

Being heartbroken by someone you love is hard. However, if you’re not a bad person or a narcissist, you can also go through a tough time when voi <\/i>feriscono un'altra persona. <\/p>\n

That is exactly what’s going on with you right now. The guilt is killing you because you’re aware of your harmful actions.<\/p>\n

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your significant other, a coworker, a friend, or a family member, the bottom line is pretty much the same: You broke your loved one’s heart and you’re looking for ways to fix things.<\/p>\n

Well, you’ve come to the right place where you’ll get all the professional advice you need. Here is exactly how you should behave and what you should do when you hurt someone. <\/p>\n

Remember that you\u2019re a human being<\/h2>\n

\"foto<\/p>\n

First and foremost, you should always keep one thing in mind: You\u2019re just a human being made out of flesh and blood. Of course, this doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re entitled to do whatever the hell you want.<\/p>\n

However, one mistake doesn’t automatically make you a persona cattiva<\/a> o. <\/p>\n

The fact is that you\u2019re not a robot or a preprogrammed machine that is not allowed to <\/b>commettere errori<\/b>.<\/b> You might have tried running away from this fact but the truth is that you\u2019re far from perfect. <\/p>\n

You have your set of flaws and whether you like it or not, now is the time to accept them. Knowing this, will make it easier for you to come to terms with the fact that you\u2019re simply sinful, just like the rest of us. <\/p>\n

On the other hand, precisely because you\u2019re a <\/b>essere umano<\/b>significa anche che avete una coscienza.<\/b><\/p>\n

Avete una mente e quindi la capacit\u00e0 di pentirvi di quegli errori e di correggerli. <\/p>\n

Una posizione difficile, lo so. Ma \u00e8 proprio questa combinazione di qualit\u00e0 che l'ha portata qui. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s what made you hurt the person you love and it\u2019s what made you feel guilty for your actions. <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t defend your wrong action<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

What you did wasn\u2019t right. When you hurt someone who cared for you, you didn\u2019t only cause their heartbreak, you also stabbed them in the back. You violated their trust and you killed their faith in people.<\/p>\n

Therefore, the consequences of your actions are numerous and the pain you\u2019ve caused won\u2019t go away overnight.<\/p>\n

Invece, la vittima dovr\u00e0 passare attraverso una processo di guarigione<\/a>. Let\u2019s be real: It\u2019s all your fault.<\/p>\n

Secondo la maggior parte <\/b>allenatori di relazioni<\/b>, il <\/b>la cosa peggiore<\/b> you can do at this point is to try and pretend that you haven\u2019t done anything that wrong.<\/b><\/p>\n

In effetti, difendere le proprie azioni potrebbe essere ancora pi\u00f9 doloroso per la vittima di quello che ha fatto in primo luogo.<\/b><\/p>\n

When you do something wrong, you\u2019re the only one responsible for it. There is no point in looking for excuses or justifications.<\/p>\n

Your mistakes are not canceled by the fact that you were \u201cprovoked\u201d to behave like this, that your victim \u201cmade you\u201d hurt them, and so on.<\/p>\n

Dovete essere abbastanza responsabili da sostenere le vostre azioni, come un vero adulto. <\/p>\n

Per favore, evitate il gioco della colpa a tutti i costi.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that the other party is perfect or that they never did anything to hurt you, but this is beside the point; you\u2019re looking for redemption for your harmful behavior. <\/p>\n

L'unico modo per farlo \u00e8 accettare la piena responsabilit\u00e0, senza cercare di sfuggirla. <\/p>\n

Acknowledge the other person\u2019s emotions<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

What you have to be aware of is that we all have big differences in character. Therefore, someone is not weaker than you just for having a harder time accepting the things you\u2019ve done to them.<\/p>\n

Maybe you wouldn\u2019t be this hurt if you were in their shoes and that\u2019s your right. However, the other person is clearly heartbroken and they\u2019re entitled to feel that way.<\/p>\n

So, please, acknowledge the other person\u2019s emotions, even if you don\u2019t fully understand them. Give them the right to feel sadness and pain.<\/b><\/p>\n

They feel betrayed or disappointed by something you did. It\u2019s just how things are and you don\u2019t have a say in that. <\/p>\n

The worst thing you can do in this case is to try and diminish the other party\u2019s hurt feelings. Don\u2019t even think of accusing them of being too sensitive or overly emotional.<\/p>\n

If you do this, you\u2019ll show that you actually have no remorse whatsoever. You\u2019ll show that you\u2019re only apologizing because it\u2019s the right thing to do, not because you sono davvero dispiaciuti<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Furthermore, this will be proof that you\u2019re completely unaware of your mistakes. You\u2019re not aware of the magnitude of your actions nor of the effects they had on someone else. <\/p>\n

Avvicinatevi alla vittima con la massima delicatezza possibile<\/h2>\n

\"uomo<\/p>\n

What you need to know is that your victim\u2019s heart is fragile right now. They have hurt feelings and the last thing they need is someone aggravating their wounds.<\/p>\n

Therefore, you have to approach them as gently as possible. While you’re trying to repair your broken relationship, pay attention to their mental and emotional state. <\/p>\n

Non si litiga, non si urla, non si d\u00e0 la colpa a nessuno e non si creano aspettative troppo grandi. <\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that you should walk on eggshells around them or that you should treat them like a little child.<\/b><\/p>\n

Tuttavia, bisogna stare attenti a non fare nulla che li ferisca di nuovo. <\/b><\/p>\n

Yes, you might think that they\u2019re too sensitive now. Nevertheless, don\u2019t forget that you\u2019re the cause of their sensitivity and if you want them to forgive you, you\u2019ll just have to deal with it. <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t rush the process<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

When you hurt someone you love and want their forgiveness, you\u2019ll probably push them as hard as possible to get it.<\/p>\n

You want them to see how eager you are to come back into their life and you don\u2019t miss any opportunity to reach out.<\/p>\n

Avete l'impulso di chiamarli, mandargli un messaggio, presentarvi nei luoghi in cui vi aspettate che si trovino o addirittura andare a bussare alla loro porta. Tuttavia, ci\u00f2 non pu\u00f2 che essere controproducente. <\/b><\/p>\n

By doing this, you\u2019re putting an unbearable amount of pressure on your victim. You show them that their forgiveness is more important than the way they feel.<\/p>\n

Basically, you\u2019re apologizing because you want to clear your conscience, not because you want them to feel better. <\/p>\n

Consequently, when you pressure your victim, you make them feel guilty. They don\u2019t feel ready to perdonarti<\/a> just yet but can\u2019t seem to get rid of your presence in their life.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, your victim can get angrier at you. You\u2019re not giving them space or time to clear their head and to reach a conclusion.<\/p>\n

Instead, you\u2019re constantly on their back, without any understanding of the way they feel and for the problems they\u2019re facing. <\/p>\n

Pertanto, the best thing to do is let time work its magic. Show the other person that you\u2019re there and that you don\u2019t mind patiently waiting for them to be ready for you. <\/b><\/p>\n

Impegnarsi nel perdono e nella cura di se stessi<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

While there are people who act as if they didn\u2019t do anything wrong, there are also the ones who beat themselves up too hard.<\/p>\n

Essere qui e cercare cose da fare quando si fa del male a qualcuno fa chiaramente parte del secondo gruppo. <\/p>\n

Anche se non assumersi la responsabilit\u00e0 delle proprie azioni non \u00e8 accettabile, nemmeno giudicarsi troppo severamente \u00e8 salutare.<\/p>\n

Anzi, sarebbe meglio se riusciste a trovare una via di mezzo e un equilibrio tra i due. <\/p>\n

Accept that your behavior was not okay and that it caused someone\u2019s emotional pain, but don\u2019t see it as the end of the world and as something you can\u2019t correct. <\/p>\n

Vedete: L'altra persona pu\u00f2 perdonarvi per tutto ci\u00f2 che le avete fatto. <\/b>After all, that\u2019s what will happen sooner or later.<\/p>\n

Tuttavia, <\/b>lasciarsi andare<\/b> di autogiudizio \u00e8 ancora pi\u00f9 importante.<\/b><\/p>\n

\u00c8 necessario ripulire la propria coscienza e liberarsi del senso di colpa se si vuole preservare la propria salute mentale e impegnarsi in un'attivit\u00e0 di volontariato. <\/b>cura di s\u00e9<\/b><\/a>.<\/b><\/p>\n

Beating yourself up and calling yourself a narcissist won\u2019t get you anywhere. <\/p>\n

Every time these negative feelings overwhelm you, remind yourself that they’re completely pointless and will achieve nothing.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t turn back time as much as you might want to, can you? Therefore, you won\u2019t erase your victim\u2019s pain by overthinking your actions. <\/p>\n

Chiedere un'altra prospettiva<\/h2>\n

\"due<\/p>\n

If you feel lost and as though you don\u2019t know what\u2019s the smart thing to do, the best thing is to look for another opinion and perspective. <\/p>\n

After all, you\u2019re emotionally involved in this entire situation and you can\u2019t be objective about it, despite all of your efforts.<\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re being too hard on yourself. At the same time, there is also a possibility that you\u2019re justifying your actions and looking for excuses for thems.<\/p>\n

In ogni caso, you\u2019re not being neutral here and neither is your victim. <\/b>They\u2019re the ones hurt in this case and it\u2019s possible that they\u2019re blowing things out of proportion and looking for attention as well.<\/p>\n

Ecco perch\u00e9 dovreste rivolgervi a qualcuno di cui vi fidate e raccontargli tutta la situazione. Scegliete un amico onesto, un <\/b>collaboratore<\/b><\/a>, or a family member, even if you\u2019re afraid that they\u2019ll be too harsh.<\/b><\/p>\n

Dopo tutto, \u00e8 proprio quello di cui avete bisogno: Una dura verit\u00e0 da parte di una persona cara. Avete bisogno di qualcuno che vi tolga gli occhiali rosa e vi faccia guardare in faccia la realt\u00e0. <\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that they should tell you what to do with your own life or that you should listen to them blindly. Instead, they\u2019re just there to offer you a fresh point of view. <\/p>\n

Just be careful about the ones you tell your secrets to. If you\u2019re not sure whether you have loyal people around you, ask for professional advice. <\/p>\n

Non c'\u00e8 da vergognarsi a parlare con un terapeuta delle cose che ci preoccupano. <\/p>\n

Another great piece of advice is to try walking in your victim’s shoes. Put yourself in their position and look at things from their perspective.<\/p>\n

What do you do when someone hurts you? What’s your first instinct when someone causes you heartbreak? What can they do to fix things? <\/p>\n

Do \u201cthe friend test\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Another great thing you can do is \u201cthe friend test\u201d. This will help you detach from the situation and make it possible for you to move in the right direction.<\/p>\n

Imagine that your friend has the same problem you currently have. They come to you and tell you that they\u2019ve hurt someone they care for deeply. <\/p>\n

They want their forgiveness but don\u2019t know how to get it. They\u2019re also beating themselves up for their mistake. <\/p>\n

Le chiedono un consiglio perch\u00e9 si fidano di lei e la considerano una persona saggia e intelligente. Cosa direbbe loro?<\/p>\n

Scommetto che trovereste subito una soluzione. Gli consigliereste come approcciare la vittima e gli fornireste i passi esatti che sono elencati qui. <\/p>\n

Non solo, ma sareste anche pieni di comprensione per il vostro migliore amico<\/a>. Qualunque cosa facessero, li avreste richiamati per le loro azioni e avreste anche mostrato compassione.<\/p>\n

L'ultima cosa da fare \u00e8 peggiorare le cose giudicandole e attaccandole. Al contrario, dovreste dire loro di non essere cos\u00ec duri con se stessi e di non lasciare che il senso di colpa li mangi vivi.<\/p>\n

Quindi, cosa vi impedisce di trattare voi stessi allo stesso modo? Dopo tutto, dovreste amare voi stessi pi\u00f9 di qualsiasi altro amico al mondo. <\/p>\n

Pertanto, per favore, seguite il consiglio che dareste al vostro immaginario <\/b>migliore amico<\/b> e applicarlo a se stessi. <\/b><\/p>\n

Imparare dal proprio comportamento sbagliato<\/h2>\n

\"donna<\/p>\n

Finally, even though you can\u2019t change what you\u2019ve done, you certainly can learn from it. Instead of lamenting your past, walk away from it with a lezione dura ma preziosa<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Quello che hai fatto \u00e8 stato tossico. You broke someone\u2019s heart and your actions hurt their feelings. <\/b><\/p>\n

However, that doesn\u2019t mean that you should turn this into patterns of <\/b>comportamento scorretto<\/b>. Invece di lasciare che diventi un'abitudine, imparate dai vostri errori.<\/b><\/p>\n

Promise yourself that that was the last time you displayed that selfish behavior and that from now on, you’ll think about the possible consequences of your actions. <\/p>\n

Tell yourself that that was the last time you didn’t show compassion and that from now on, you\u2019ll always take other people\u2019s feelings into account. <\/p>\n

Ad essere sinceri, quando si ferisce qualcuno, probabilmente ci vorr\u00e0 un'eternit\u00e0 per riconquistare la sua fiducia e per ricucire il rapporto interrotto. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you have to start this moment. Show them that you care and that you\u2019re ready to do whatever it takes to come back into their life. Good luck!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being heartbroken by someone you love is hard. However, if you’re not a bad person or a narcissist, you can also go through a tough time when you hurt someone else.  That is exactly what’s going on with you right now. The guilt is killing you because you’re aware of your harmful actions. It doesn’t…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":99903,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29637],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-hacks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29637,"label":"life hacks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/9-Things-To-Do-When-You-Hurt-Someone.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29637,"name":"life hacks","slug":"life-hacks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29637,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","parent":22911,"count":281,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29637,"category_count":281,"category_description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","cat_name":"life hacks","category_nicename":"life-hacks","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99899\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/99903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}