Breaking up usually means having your heart broken but there are also times when your heart gets broken even months after the break-up happened. And this happens when you find out that your ex has moved on with his life, while you are still standing in one spot. This is something that hurts both your feelings and your ego. But things shouldn’t be like this. You should be able to accept him moving on as the natural course of things and you should be able to get over this fact without too much trouble. So here are 4 tips to help you do so.
1. Remember that he is an ex for a reason
As time goes by, we all tend to start forgetting all the bad things connected with someone we used to love. Instead, we tend to focus on the good memories, which makes us lose perspective of reality. This especially becomes the case when we miss somebody and even more once we see that this somebody has moved on without us. Therefore, when you see that your ex is over you and that he’s seeing someone new, the first thing you need to remember is that he is an ex for a reason. I am not saying you should start thinking badly about this guy or that you need to hate him but what you should definitely do is think of all of this guy’s flaws and all of the things he did to you which made him become your ex. This will make it easier for you to handle the fact that he has moved on.
2. Don’t compare yourself with his new girlfriend
OK, I get it, you’ve found out that your ex has been seeing someone new and this has made you feel jealous. You know that the two of you are no longer together and it’s not like he’s cheating on you and you know very well that you have no right to be jealous. But this jealousy is simply stronger than you and you don’t think you can fight it. You keep thinking about this new girlfriend of his, asking yourself if she is more beautiful than you or if he loves her more than he loved you. And I am here to tell you to stop with all of this nonsense. If you really want to accept the fact that your ex has moved on, you need to accept the fact that he’s been seeing someone new as well. And the last thing you need to do is compare yourself with this girl. You were important to him at one time of your life and now he has a new life partner. This doesn’t mean this girl has taken your place in his life, this is just the natural course of things. So instead of being jealous, wish him a happy new start with all of your heart.
3. Release all the negative emotions
If your break-up happened not so long ago and especially if it was painful, it is quite likely that you still have some unresolved issues regarding your ex and your past relationship. And when you find out he moved on with his life before you did, all of those emotions come back to you and can even intensify. You feel hate, resentment, and jealousy and you can’t help but hold grudges. But let me tell you that this will get you nowhere. I know it’s hard but if you really want to accept the fact that your ex has moved on, you have to try and release all of these negative emotions. Because he obviously did. So why do you want to be a prisoner of your own negativity? Instead of caging yourself mentally, find the strength in yourself to forgive this man for everything he’s done to you because that is the only way for you to follow in his footsteps and to move on as well.
4. Let go
I am an English Language and Literature teacher. I am a writer. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend… But most of all, I am a woman, just like you.
A woman who has experienced the same things you’ve been going through. A woman who’s been fighting battles similar to yours. A woman who wants you to learn from her mistakes and who wants to help you empower yourself.