The fact that your parents, your mom or your dad, are related to you doesn’t necessarily make them good people. It doesn’t mean that they know and want the best for you. I know this is brutally painful to admit but sadly it’s true.
There are a lot of people who never had the support or love from their parents which they needed and deserved so badly. They were neglected and hurt only because their parents were toxic and harmful.
It’s important for you, if you want to have a normal life, to get rid of all the people in your life who are draining your energy and making you feel sad and in pain. Even if the person who is hurting you is someone close to you, you have to walk away.
It’s so much easier to do it when you’re not blood-related to that someone but those things happen too and if you want to lead a normal life, you have to say no and put a stop to it, no matter how hard it is for you to do it.
It would be so easy if you could blame them for being insensitive D-bags but the truth is a bit different from what most people think. Usually, toxic people who lack empathy and simply don’t know how to act around another human being without hurting them are not to blame for that. Most of them have issues and traumas from their own childhood which they are projecting onto someone else’s life—in this case, their child. They are probably doing it without even knowing it. Nevertheless, that doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t justify their actions.
If you’re dealing with a toxic parent, don’t feel bad about cutting them off in order to get your freedom and give yourself a chance to lead a healthy life. Here are all the reasons why it’s more than okay to say no and walk away from a toxic parent:
1. No one has the right to control your happiness
You live your life and you are the one who is responsible for it. No one has the right to meddle with your life decisions, not even your parents. It’s one thing to give you advice on something you’re struggling with and it’s completely another to try to take control of your life.
If your parents are the reason why you wake up unhappy in the morning, then something is wrong with the relationship you have and you have to get out of it, despite the fact that it’s your parents and you share blood relations. If they are not supporting you and giving you positive energy, discard them because you don’t need them.
2. You’re constantly criticized
Normal parents criticize their child because they are scared their child is going to fail at something in their life, so they try to push them forward to fight to make it. But toxic parents take this to another level and they overdo it, which often destroys their child and puts them under unnecessary pressure. Actually, what they get is the countereffect of what they wanted.
Instead of trying to prevent you from making mistakes, your parents are making you develop an inner critic that can destroy your life and potentially turn you into a toxic person, too. That’s why you should cut them off if your relationship is an unhealthy one.
3. You can’t let anyone abuse and manipulate you
Your mental health is the most precious thing you have and no one has the right to tamper with it. If your parents are draining you mentally or physically, you have to get away from them. It’s not easy and it’ll hurt you but it’s for the best. You have to start thinking about you for a change and let them abuse someone else because they’ve done a lot of damage to you.
4. You can’t breathe
On the one hand, normal parents leave their child enough space to develop other skills including social ones, while toxic parents demand all the child’s attention. They are constantly in their presence and it’s camouflaged by bonding when actually it’s a totally unhealthy way of trying to literally possess the child.
You have to be free to make your own choices and do the things you like to do. Sure, bonding with your parents is something that is normal but if they force you to spend all your free time with them, it means that your relationship is toxic and you should cut it off while you can.
5. You are your first priority and there’s no more to it
I know that you love them and you usually always put them and everyone else first. You are the type of person who wants to give all the love they have to others but for the love of God, you have to understand that you also deserve all the love you’re giving to others.
That’s why you should discard all the toxic people from your life, even if it’s your parents because they will always be looking for something more from you and you’re going to keep on giving it to them because you’re like that. And this will drain and destroy you completely in the long run. Find the strength to choose yourself first this time.