When you lose a man you were convinced was the love of your life, you also lose a life compass. You feel lost and hopeless without any sign of the light at the end of the tunnel you desperately need.
Even though it hurts too much now, remember that you are the one who has to get herself back on track. And the best way of doing this is to keep reminding yourself of these 5 things every single day of your healing process.
1. You are allowed to be heartbroken
When you lose someone you love, the first thing you should put aside is the feeling of guilt. You are not to blame for everything that has happened, and you are not weak for being hurt. You were not a fool for choosing wrong, and you are not crazy for feeling this way.
No matter how strong of a woman you are, you are allowed to be heartbroken. And you don’t have to justify your reasons and your emotions to anyone.
You are not taking too long to recover. You shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone, and you are not dealing with this break up the wrong way. Because guess what? There doesn’t exist a ‘right’ way to do it.
All of us have different ways of processing emotional pain and all of us fight it in different manner. Remember: healthy healing is a process which doesn’t happen according to a strict schedule.
2. Forget about “should have beens” and “could have beens”
I know you want closure. But let’s face it—whatever kind of closure you get, it probably won’t be enough to mend your broken heart. So just do your best to accept this break up as the only closure you need.
I know you have some questions you need answers to. You wonder if your love was unrequited, why things had to end this way and how come someone you thought was the love of your life turned out to be the mistake of your life. But sometimes you have to accept that sadly, you’ll never get those answers and have to move on without them, as much as it hurts.
Stop thinking about all the things that could have been between you two. Stop thinking of everything you guys should have accomplished, and stop grieving for the potential your relationship had.
3. If it was meant to be, it would have been
Another thing you need to remind yourself of after losing your loved one is that some things and some people are simply not meant to be, as much as we want them to be. Some happy endings are not destined for us because when something is meant to happen, it happens.
You need to remember that everything happens with a reason and for a bigger cause. And even though you don’t see it now, this heartbreak has its purpose, as well.
4. You will love again
When a man you’ve wanted to grow old with walks away from you, you are convinced that you’ll never love someone the way you’ve loved him. And you probably won’t. Instead, you’ll love someone even more, and this time, you will get all of that love in return.
The truth is that now you think that this guy was the love of your life, but the two of you would have stayed together if that was the case.
Even if you don’t believe me now, I promise you that you will love again. This break up is not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you are done with love forever.
Don’t get me wrong—I am not advising you to jump into a rebound relationship just to get over your ex faster. I am just telling you to have faith because true love is yet to come.
5. This is nothing more than a lesson
The thing you should always remember in a situation like this is that sometimes, God breaks you just so He could fix you. You need to remember that there will come a time when you’ll realize why things turned out to be this way and when you’ll be thankful they did.
So please, instead of looking at this as your life failure, see it as a tough lesson. See it as a way for you to learn, as a way for you to see your true power and as a way for you to see your real strength.
I won’t lie to you—this heartbreak will probably leave emotional wounds on your soul. But with time, you’ll grow to love these scars, and you’ll be proud of each one of them.
And you know why that is so? Because they will serve you as a reminder of everything you’ve been through and as a reminder that you’ve managed to survive it.