There is this misconception going around about how vulnerability is nothing but a way for weak people to make dramatic scenes.
I can’t tell you how many times people thought of me of being an ‘attention whore’ just because I got angry or sad or for confessing my feelings to someone, without even doing anything except saying how I felt at that moment.
This way of thinking actually led to me neglecting my emotions for the longest period of time.
But when you stop for a moment and think about it: vulnerability really is the main trait of strong people!
Just imagine the courage and the bravery someone has to be vulnerable and emotional, in a world where people are constantly judging you for everything you are!
And if we’re talking about vulnerability, we have to say that men have it worse. They have been taught from the beginning of their lives how being vulnerable is not manly enough.
That is why, for all my brothers and sisters out there, I have made a list of the ways we can all work together on our vulnerability.
1. Realize that you have the right to feel
It’s very important for you to just rise out of this shell that has taught you to hide away your tears, your smile or any sign of anger on your face.
Be aware of the fact that those are standards we have been taught, but not the truth.
The truth is that you have the right to be vulnerable, you have the right to be emotional and feel everything deeply!
2. Stop resisting!
The best thing for you to do now is imagine yourself in a very vulnerable situation. What are you doing? You are resisting, right?
So now, analyze all those situations that you can remember. What are you doing to make it seem like you are hiding away your emotions?
Are you turning it into a joke? Are you pretending that you didn’t hear something that made you feel vulnerable?
You know what you’re doing and I need you to stop. Stop resisting your emotions when they are there for a reason.
3. Learn how to express emotions
Instead of putting up walls in vulnerable situations, how about you try to learn how to express your emotions in a productive way.
What made you angry?
If it’s your partner, don’t you think that the best thing for the two of you would be to calm down and talk things through? Because throwing things around won’t help anyone.
Learn what makes you feel vulnerable or hurt and express it. Analyze the situation and be aware of what triggered this discomfort in you and why.
Why are you feeling this way right at this moment? Tell him.
4. Don’t focus on the reaction
One of the main reasons we are afraid of being vulnerable is because we are afraid of how the other person might react or judge us.
If you go ahead and tell a man you like how you feel about him, you shouldn’t be worried about if he is going to ‘laugh at you’ because that only shows how immature he is.
You should be focusing on getting all those emotions off your chest rather than how someone might take the news.
5. Take responsibility
This one is a bit specific because we all have that one little devil inside us, making us uncomfortable about taking responsibility for our actions.
Most people become so defensive when it comes to this that I have started feeling defensive about my actions as well.
But that is not what we should be doing. If you have done something wrong then admit it, no matter how vulnerable you might feel at that moment.
6. Open up about your struggles
Who knows, maybe by sharing your story with someone, you might actually find someone who has the same problems as you do and you can work on them together.
Always be open about your struggles to the people you trust. Being vulnerable means to be exposed to the fact that we might get hurt, so do it.
If you trust that person will not hurt you by sharing your story, maybe tomorrow you will talk about your struggles with someone whom you do not know.
Well, that is what it means to be brave and show your vulnerability!
7. Talk about your dreams and goals
If there is anything that will put you in a vulnerable situation, it’s when you talk about your goals in life.
By doing this, you are actually telling everyone what you are working toward in your life and you are putting yourself out there for them to evaluate if your dreams are ‘good enough’.
This way, you will learn to still be true to yourself, no matter what anyone might think of you!