Even though being single is awesome, the truth is that there are times when you think about how much it sucks. Sometimes, all you want is to have someone to cuddle with, someone to hold your hand and someone to hear all about your day. Even though being single is amazing, sometimes you get lonely, especially when you see all those happy couples around you.

But that doesn’t mean that you should get yourself involved in a relationship just because you hope it will improve your life. That doesn’t mean that you should ever look for a man to make you complete because that won’t happen—because you need to find a way to complete yourself.

Letting a new guy into your life won’t magically turn it the right way around. He won’t mend your broken heart and he won’t fix you. Unless you do it yourself first.

Meeting someone new won’t give your life meaning. Unless you do it yourself first.

A new relationship won’t make you feel better about yourself overnight. It won’t cure your insecurities and it won’t boost your self-esteem. Unless you do it yourself first.

Remember—a relationship is never and can never be a cure for loneliness. And it can never make you happy if you don’t feel that way already.

You are the only one who can make yourself happy and you can’t expect anyone to do it for you. You are the master of your own life and the only one in charge. The only one behind the wheel on this journey called life and the only one who should be in complete control.

Don’t get me wrong—this is not me judging you if you crave love and a relationship. This is not me telling you that the only way to being truly happy is remaining single for the rest of your life.

Having a healthy relationship is fulfilling but it won’t fill this emptiness you are feeling. Because that is something you have to do on your own.

The truth is that you can never expect to have a happy relationship until you become happy on your own. You can never expect to be happy taken unless you are happy being single.

That is why I am begging you never to settle for less just because you are afraid of ending up alone. I am asking you not to be with the first guy who comes along just because you think he’ll make your life better and I am telling you never to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.

This is just me telling you to embrace your single life because if you play your cards right, it can be one of the best things you’ll ever experience. This is me telling you to work on being the best possible version of yourself, before you start a new relationship.

You are the one who has to improve the quality of your life before you can expect a man to enter it with a magic stick to clear all of your mess. The one who has to face all of your problems, before expecting someone else to resolve them.

The one who has to learn to enjoy every breath you inhale and the one who has to learn how to take the best of every day. The one who has to learn how to live before expecting someone else to show you how.

Remember that you have to empower yourself in all ways possible before you can expect someone else to give you the emotional strength you need. That you have to learn to go through life on your own and to be able to rely on yourself before finding someone you can count on.

Bear in mind that you have to learn how to put yourself first before expecting a man to put you at the top of his priority list. That you have to show him that you know how valuable you are before you expect him to see your worth.

Bear in mind that you have to start respecting yourself as a woman and as an individual before expecting someone else to respect you the way you deserve. That you have to understand the importance of self-love before you expect someone else to love you the right way.

If You Aren't Happy Single, You Won't Be Happy Taken

Selma June
I am an English Language and Literature teacher. I am a writer. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend... But most of all, I am a woman, just like you. A woman who has experienced the same things you’ve been going through. A woman who’s been fighting battles similar to yours. A woman who wants you to learn from her mistakes and who wants to help you empower yourself.
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