Inside The Mind Of The Girl Who Thinks That She Doesn’t Matter
There is this girl I met recently. I could see in her eyes and her fake smile that there is so much pain in her. She looked like someone who would just want to cry, but she was ashamed to fall apart in front of the people who surround her. She talked normally with me, but I could feel something in her voice, something not good, almost like a cramp that doesn’t let her say what she really wants. And I immediately knew what she feels like. I could see that she feels like the loneliest person, even if she is in a room full of people. I could see that sorrow in her eyes while she was waiting for people to accept her the way she was.
Some of them accepted her, but some didn’t. And that hurt her a lot. It made her feel like she isn’t good enough. Like she doesn’t matter. But she didn’t only experience that from strangers, she felt the same from people close to her as well. Those she loved the most turned their backs to her and acted like she didn’t exist. There was someone else who was more important than her and she couldn’t stand that anymore. She couldn’t stand that people whom she put as a priority put her at the end of their priority lists. She couldn’t stand that she tried so hard for the people who couldn’t care less about her. And just because of that, she convinced herself that she wasn’t good enough and that she didn’t matter.
Now, she feels like a walking dead. She feels like she is living her life and doing all those things we all do but that nobody actually pays attention to her. So she keeps asking herself what she did wrong and why things have to function that way. She hates her inner voice telling her that she is not good enough and that she shouldn’t even get up from bed in the morning. She feels like there is no point in living in a world she will never be happy in.
She doesn’t see any sense in trying anymore. She thinks that she shouldn’t try anymore and that she should give up to make others pay attention to her because all this time she is good to them and all she gets is neglecting. Every time she helps others, she hopes that she will have friends, but people just come and take what they want without any intention to reciprocate. That’s why she feels like she will never get what she really deserved and that all her effort is in vain.
She doesn’t feel beautiful anymore. She walks down the street looking at all those girls. All of them look so cheerful while she fights the demons inside her. They tell her that she is not beautiful enough and that she will never be enough. That’s why she hides her face with her hair, avoiding big groups of people. People made her hate her body just because she is not like them. Just because she is not all skinny, tanned and dressed up all the time they don’t accept her. But that is what makes her so special and unique.
She craves that someone puts her first. She never experienced what it feels like to be someone’s priority. She was the one putting people first all her life while she was at the end of their priority lists. She tries so hard to be the person others would love to have close but in all that mess, she is losing herself. She is losing herself over people who never made her a priority. And she does it all for all the wrong reasons.
She wants to get credit for the things she did. She wants that someone actually sees all those good things she did. She wants someone to see her effort and her being serious about the things she is responsible for. She doesn’t want to walk like a ghost among people and not to be noticed. She just wants to feel that she matters.
So tell her that she is. Tell her that she is important! Tell her that she is worthy! Tell her that she deserves to be loved, taken care of, chased and she deserves it all to happen naturally.
Show her that even if nobody sees her effort, there is someone who will always see how amazing she is. Just because she is not like the rest of the girls, someone will pay attention to her and admire her strength to do the big and challenging things.
Tell her that there will come a man who will think that she is worthy and that he will never let her down. Tell her that there will be the time when she will meet right people who will become her best friends. Tell her that she deserves the world and that she shouldn’t settle for less than she deserves.
Remind her that there is always a rainbow after the rain and that better days will come. Tell her to not lose hope in herself and that she should never give up on her dreams. Because her dreams are what kept her alive all this time and she should continue pursuing them.
Show her how amazing she is and what she is capable of. Tell her all this because she needs it like you need the air in your lungs. She just needs ONE person to believe in her, so she could get back on track again. She just needs one individual who will tell her that she is doing just fine and that she should keep up the good work.
She just needs one person to tell her what she craved to hear all this time — that she DOES matter!