She demands to be treated right. She is strong enough to cut all the toxic people out of her life because she knows they are only going to bring her more pain if they stay.
She swore to herself a long time ago that she will be the one who chooses who stays in her life and she honors her word, no matter how hard it gets.
Her dreams are big, so big they scare her but she is willing to work hard to reach them. But she has her lazy days. She skips her morning jog, she slacks off at work, or she doesn’t feel like going out with her friend, etc., and on those days she is very mad at herself.
She is mad because she expects more from herself. She always expects more because she knows she has it in herself.
She gets insecure because she believes she is not moving fast enough. She still isn’t where she wants to be and the anxiety is making her doubt herself.
To the ones looking in from the outside, it looks like she has it all together, like she is confident and strong, when in reality she is dealing with her fears and trying to make them less.
She is surrounded by friends and family and all she wants to hear is, “You got this,” “You are strong, beautiful and smart,” or, “We are here for you.” But all she gets is silence.
Nobody knows that she needs those words of encouragement because they are all used to her being strong. They are used to her being there for everybody but they are not used to her needing something from them.
She is strong but she still needs warmth, she still needs people in her life to show her they care.
Not having that makes her insecure.
She is selective about the people she welcomes into her life and she invests wholeheartedly in her relationships. She is the best friend a person could ask for. She is the one you can call at 2 am and talk to about your problems, she is the one who shares your joys.
As a girlfriend, she is always the one who gives more. She loves to do things that make the other person feel special and cared for.
The thing is that nobody does that for her. With her problems, she is usually alone when she needs someone the most. In romantic relationships, she lacks reciprocity, she feels like she is the only one trying.
She gives so much in everything and gets nothing in return and it’s no wonder her self-esteem is at its limit. She has no time to nurture it.
She is so torn between taking care of herself and taking care of others that she feels exhausted. Still, somehow she manages to do all of that and more.
She finds strength in herself even when she believes that there is nothing left and she keeps pushing forward with a smile on her face and optimism in her soul.
Insecurities are like annoying little voices in her head that she has to fight.
She has to fight them every time she doesn’t like her reflection in the mirror, every time she feels like she is not smart enough, every time her feelings are hurt and she feels like she has no one.
She fights them because she knows no other way. She never gives up and she believes that everything will work out in the end.
You see, she is strong because she learned to fight her demons. Because she learned to accept herself just the way she is. Because she is willing to go for it even if she doesn’t know how it will all end.
Insecurities will always be there, they will sneak up on her when she doesn’t even expect them. But as always, she will be stronger than them and even if they slow her down a bit, they will never stop her.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.