When you look at your past, you see nothing but a bunch of heartbreaks, disappointments, loads of tears and soul-wrecking. You see nothing but yourself in pain, yourself waiting for someone to change, yourself waiting for a guy to call you back, waiting for him to give you the love and attention you craved so much for. You see nothing but yourself praying for something different to happen, praying for yourself, praying to God to move all of these wrong men out of your way, praying for something to ease the pain you’d been feeling. And most of all, praying to become stronger than you were.
And with time, you gained the emotional strength that you wished for, for so long. You became stronger than everything that was bringing you down, stronger than all of the people who had ever done you harm, stronger than all the pain you’d been feeling and stronger than all the tears you cried. But most of all, you became stronger than yourself.
At first, you thought this was a good thing. You could finally control yourself and your mind could finally control your heart and soul and you thought that was exactly what you needed all along to be happy. You thought this would help you to stop being highly sensitive, it would help you to stop letting all the wrong people in and to stop forgiving the ones who had hurt you.
And that was exactly what you accomplished. But this strength didn’t come alone. It came along with you being different. It came along with high walls everywhere around you. It came with you losing faith in all humanity and losing faith in hope.
But most of all, it came along with you losing all the hope you had.
Before you changed, you’d always had hope in a better tomorrow, no matter how hard life had been hitting you. Somehow, you would always find enough faith inside yourself and you would tell yourself that things would get better. You believed that your prayers would eventually come true and that happiness would knock on your door as well. And although this hope brought you much pain and prevented you from giving up many times when you should have, it was also the only thing that always kept you going. It was the only thing that prevented you from giving up on love and from giving up on yourself.
And as much as you hate to admit it, this was exactly what you were doing lately. You’d given up on all hope that you’d finally find your happiness and by doing so, you’d given up on yourself, as well.
But trust me, hope is something you should never give up.
I know people have always been telling you that good things happen to good people, that all the kindness and the love you’ve been giving out to the world will eventually come back to you and that you will get rewarded for all the pain you’ve been through. But lately, you’ve been thinking that this is all bullshit. You’ve been thinking that these are all clichés and things people tell you to make you feel better about yourself. But trust me, it is the only truth.
I know you don’t believe me now but good things really do happen to good people. Love really does happen to people who believe in it and who deserve to have it. All the suffering you’ve been through in the past really will be worth it someday and it will pay off.
But the fact is that all of the things you’ve been waiting for will happen when it’s time. Love will come to you when you are completely ready for it. It won’t happen when you want it to happen but when it’s meant to be and eventually it will happen.
And when it does, you’ll see why you had to go through all of the things you’ve been through. You’ll see that all the pain and suffering actually served you as a lesson. You’ll see that all the wrong men in your life came into it for a reason—to teach you what is not love and to teach you what you don’t need in life. I know these are all the lessons you wished you hadn’t learned, but what you need to know is that they all served as preparation for your future. Most importantly, you’ll see that all of these bad things happened to teach you to appreciate the right one, when he comes along.
And trust me—he will come along sooner or later because that is the least you deserve. Just don’t ever lose hope.