Whenever someone is talking about heartbreak, everyone focuses on the person who is being left behind, implying that being the one to walk away is a piece of cake. Therefore, nobody thinks of the pain you feel when walking away is the only option you have left.

Instead, everyone will probably judge you and think of you as selfish for leaving behind the person you shared your life with, like that is easy.

But actually, it is anything but that. Sometimes being the one to walk away is even harder and more challenging than being left behind.

Because when you are the one to call it quits, you are not only dealing with all the emotional pain for ending a relationship; you are also consumed with guilt for being the one to end it.

You think about if things could have turned out differently and if you should give your relationship another chance. You wonder whether you’ve made the right choice or if there is something else that you could’ve done.

And all of these questions without answers haunt you for a long time.

One of the most painful and most difficult things in life is walking away from someone you still love but knowing that is the choice you have to make. Because sometimes love is simply not enough, as much as we want it to be.

Sometimes, the person you love and the person you want to stay with simply doesn’t make you happy. And love should always make you happy.

Sometimes, this is the person who makes your life harder and who makes you feel miserable.

And that is not the person you should stick around, no matter what everyone else tells you.

When you are in this situation and when you know that walking away is the best decision for you, you feel guilty for even considering it. You think this person needs you and that they won’t be able to make it through life without you.

You know you are their biggest support and the only light at the end of the tunnel, although they probably would never admit it. You know you are the only one keeping them above the surface and the only one fighting for them, even when they’ve given up on themselves.

You know you are the only one who believes in them even when they’ve lost all faith in themselves. The only one who is pushing them forward, when they are holding themselves back.

But with time, you see that there is nothing you can do for them anymore.

You see that you are no longer fighting with them but against them and you see that all of your efforts don’t have a point anymore. You see that this person doesn’t want to be saved and that they don’t appreciate all of the sacrifices you’ve made for them.

You see that the person you care for so much will never change and that you’ll never be happy around them.

So you finally decide it’s time to walk away and to continue living your life without them in it.

And this is when you start blaming yourself.

You wish you could have been stronger. You wish you could have done more.

But let me tell you one thing: you should never blame yourself for walking away from someone who isn’t making you happy and from someone who is making your life a living hell.

Because you need to learn to put yourself first.

You’ve prioritized this person for years. And they never respected you or your efforts. Instead, they took advantage of your love and they took you for granted.

And with time, you’ve lost yourself completely.

You’ve become so focused on making them happy that you forgot to take care of yourself.

You’ve become so obsessed with meeting their needs that you’ve completely forgotten about your own well-being.

You loved this person so much that you forgot to love yourself in the process.

So please, don’t blame yourself for anything. Because deep down, you know you’ve done everything in your power and more to save this relationship. You know you’ve done everything possible to make things work. You know you’ve sacrificed yourself for their good and for the benefit of the relationship.

But you also know you were the only one trying. You know that this person doesn’t deserve all of your efforts, time or patience that you invested in them. And most importantly—you know they don’t deserve your love or you.

You know they’ll never see your worth or everything you did for them. You know that you’ll just make yourself miserable if you stay with them.

And although you are consumed with guilt, you know you deserve much more.

So please, for once, think of yourself. For once, make yourself a priority and understand that there is nothing selfish about it.

For once, give yourself a chance to be happy. And the only way to do it is to cut this person off completely.

Selma June
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.
shares