In our life, no matter whether we’re single or in a relationship, we constantly encounter advice from our friends, family, and the Internet about dating and romantic relationships. Some of the advice is nothing but destructive. They might work for some people, but in the most part these are just shitty pieces of advice that shouldn’t be followed if we want to find true happiness in our love life.

1. ‘Love like you’ve never been hurt’

So, let me get this straight, you’ve been through a relationship with a narcissist, you’ve been hurt, you thought that you’d never love again and you finally meet a great guy. If you follow this advice, you’re going to forget everything that happened in your past? No. It’s not that easy. Instead, be sure that your partner knows all the struggles you’ve been through and the way your past relationship made you feel. It’s much better than to shut down and pretend like nothing is wrong. The aftermath of that relationship is still all over you, don’t deny it. If your new partner loves you, he will understand.

2. ‘Opposites attract’

Yes, they do. But it doesn’t mean that that’s always a good thing. Why do empaths attract toxic people? So that the toxic one can take advantage of the empath! That’s a brutal example, but let’s be honest: if you’re more of an adventurous person, but your partner likes to stay indoors for the majority of his life, then you have a problem, because you won’t experience things together. You will have to worry about if he’s offended because you went on a hiking trip for days while he stayed home.

3. ‘Love should be easy’

Ummm, no. Sorry to break it to you but, no. Love? Love is hard work. You need to work on yourself, watch your partner’s progress in the relationship and the progress of the relationship itself. I have been through so many heartbreaks, thinking that Disney was the ultimate love story and that everything needed to be that easy. Sometimes there is no happy ever after in real life. But if you decide that you want to be with someone forever, there will be tears involved (sometimes) and you will have a lot of ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean that the love has vanished; it’s getting stronger.

4. ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’

We all make mistakes in our life; I am a living example of that. When a guy finds someone he truly loves and cares for, he won’t cheat on her. If he cheated before he met you and is now loyal to you, don’t second-guess him. He wants you in his life and he’s fighting for your trust. Let your guard down for a while and see what happens.

5. ‘If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours’

You may find yourself in a relationship that’s constantly in a hurricane of confusion, because you don’t know if you’re dating or not. If you decide to leave someone, leave for good. Don’t even let them come back into your life. Or if someone leaves you, they probably didn’t know what they had in the first place.

6. ‘You can’t love someone until you love yourself

Self-love is very important and we thrive off of it. But if you are struggling to find love for yourself, it doesn’t mean that you are not capable of finding your forever person. With loving them it might even be easier to finally see yourself as someone worthy of love and affection and you might start to love yourself and see yourself in the same way your partner does.

7. ‘Love is blind’

Don’t be one of those liars who says that, ”Looks don’t matter.” They do matter. But that doesn’t mean that your partner needs to be a model, but rather so that he puts in the effort to look the best he can. If he smells nice and he took a lot of time to get his hair cut and he shaved just for you, of course this stuff matters. They just aren’t the only things that matter.