There’s nothing wrong with believing in love and waiting for love to enter your life. But you have to keep in mind that there is the right kind of waiting for love and the wrong kind.
The right kind of waiting for love would be in a sense that you are hoping that love will find its way to you. That you are being patient and waiting for the right guy to cross your path. Not to make you complete, as you already are. But, to add to the value of your life. To be someone who respects you, treats you with dignity and loves you unconditionally.
The wrong kind of love is giving a million chances to the same guy. Making the same mistake over and over again. Whether he is someone you used to date or someone who is more than a friend but less than a boyfriend, the chances are you are waiting in vain.
If you are in the first situation of the wrong kind of waiting, you are waiting for your ex to come back around. You are hoping things will change and he will realize that you are the right one for him. Or he wants to take a break and find himself or something similarly stupid. If he is making you wait too long, he already decided. The relationship is something you work on, not take a break from.
Sure, you miss him and you are probably still in touch and he might even end up among your sheets from time to time, but that does not mean it’s love. That’s routine that you guys are used to, from loneliness and nostalgia for the good days that have passed.
At some point, you are bound to realize that things will never go back to the way they were. Things that were bad with the relationship won’t change just because you really want them to. There was some reason for you guys to break up. You had a reason for that breakup. It was messy. It was painful. If the relationship was bad, it won’t become better all of a sudden. If you do get back together, the chances for things to improve are one in a million.
That’s one of the reasons we put our lives on hold. We think we are exceptions to the rule. That maybe for us, just this time, if we give it our best, and hope and pray, the situation will play out differently. But it usually doesn’t.
The other scenario of the wrong kind of waiting is the one most women find themselves in. It’s the type of on-again-off-again situation. It’s the state of seeing a guy for some time but he is not your boyfriend, even though you sometimes feel like he is.
He usually comes and goes from your life as he pleases. He is giving you just enough to hold on to but never too much. He might even ask you to wait for him to sort out his life or his issues but he is just making you waste your time. He is using your feelings and the fact that you care for him against you.
He sees you will wait, and forgive and forget as many times as necessary just to be with him. He is filling your heart with false hope that he will come around. But he never will, as he is in the perfect position because he has you and has no need to commit. He is taking you for granted and wasting your time.
No matter the situation, the outcome will be the same. Time slips right under you. One day you wake up and realize that years have passed by and all you can say for your life is that you have been putting it on hold.
The worst thing in all of this waiting is that you missed out on so many things. Wasted your good night’s sleep thinking about somebody who doesn’t deserve you. By steering the wrong guy for so long, you missed seeing all the good guys who crossed your way. The guys you could have been happy with, if only you have given them the time of day.
Even though you have other goals, other problems, and concerns besides him, it feels like he is the biggest one of them. Like the only thing you were doing in life was waiting for him.
And if you still haven’t stopped waiting, it’s time you do so. It’s time to take a step back and realize he is the wrong man and that you are waiting for something that will never be.
Take a chance on yourself. Improve your life without him in it and remember to notice a guy who is waiting for you out there.