To the one that got away.
I know now that I’ve always loved you. I just don’t think that I really realised it until it was too late. It’s taken me awhile to understand that a part of me will always love you, and even longer to accept that that is actually ok. What we had could have been so incredible, but now it feels like I might never know just how perfect we would have had it together.
I’ll never forget when we first met. There was a connection I simply couldn’t describe. It took a while for the feelings to come to the surface, but since they did, I don’t think there’s been a single day that’s gone by when you haven’t crossed my mind in one way or another. I still feel to this day that you tick every single box for me, and I’m sure that you do for her, too.
Timing was never on our side. You were in a relationship, and then I was with him. Somewhere in between all of these failed romances and mistakes, there just never seemed to be a right time for me and you—for us. A few stolen kisses and some late night phone calls was the most we managed, but somehow, even this was enough for me to know that this thing between us—whatever it is—was real.
It’s been a few years since I’ve seen you in the flesh, but I still wonder what could have been for me and you if we’d been brave enough to give it a try. I find myself wandering onto your Facebook page more often than I’d like to admit, just to check how you’re doing and to see how you’ve changed. We were so young then, but the years have been kind to you. You look good. And most importantly, you look happy with her, you really do. And believe it or not, I’m so happy for you.
All I ever wanted was for you to be truly happy, and though I think a part of me will always wish that it could have been me making you happy, I’m glad that your life worked out the way that you always wanted it to. The way that you told me you dreamed about.
Though it may not sound it from how I started this letter, I’m happy too. I love my job. I love my life and I have someone who really makes me smile. I can’t help but wonder what if, but I think you will always be my ‘what if’ guy, and that’s ok.
You deserve everything in this world and I wish you all the best with your life. You are the one who got away, but I don’t regret a single second of my time with you. I hope that you can say the same about me, and I hope that when you think about me it’s with a nostalgic smile, as I do you.
Maybe one day, we’ll find our time to be together and see if we can give it a chance, but until then, you will remain my ‘Mr. What If’, and that’s fine by me.