Feeling the way you do, only oneself can feel that pain, and yes, you are broken and I know. I know that you’re shattered so deeply inside that you have to cry yourself to sleep. I’m sorry you had to be alone to take care of this mess that we both created. I am really sorry that this mess has left a huge scar on you, but I’m going to be very honest with you.

When you felt there was no hope, I was there walking that road with you. When you felt alone and with no one to confide in, I carried that pain on my back so it wouldn’t weigh on you. When your heart was broken because he used you up and tossed you to the street, I got up, wiped away your tears, and I said that you’d find a man who loved you no matter what circumstances you were facing. When you got down on your two knees and cried because you didn’t want your daughter to see that the family was broken, I laid my hand on your shoulder and made sure that you knew life didn’t end there for her.

Yes, I understand that by being torn the way you and I both were that it’s hard to come back to the surface without damage. But the damages we both experienced together is what made you and I stronger, and together we could now build bridges, skyscrapers, cities, and a moonlit sky. I ask of you to slowly look into that mirror once again because you’ll see both of us. Because I am you and you are me. Be that woman that you need to be. The woman who understands and makes her own decisions. The woman who has standards that no man can break and no woman can persuade. The woman who respects and gains respect. Our pasts will only be our experiences that we both will grow for our future.

To all the women out there: we are not perfect and we cannot perfect an image of ourselves for others. Know that you are the only one who can lift yourself up. Stand tall but know when to stand low. Be brave and help others. Be patient and kind so that your star can be reachable. It’s OK to lose sometimes but you must love yourself first. Live for you and you’ll see how great you are.

Mai Her