I know it happens to people—I just never saw it coming to me. I thought we had a special bond and that what we have is something bigger than people get in this world. I really saw what we had as something special. I trusted in us and in our forever—in being in each other lives even when we’re old and wrinkled with silver hair. Do I still get that?
We used to be so close.
Not like other people close—it was a much deeper bond. I’m talking about a no-privacy bond. I’m talking about a I-know-things-that-happened-to-you-as-if-they-happened-to-me kind of bond. It’s like we communicated with our eyes—sometimes there was no need to use words.
And I loved how we could easily judge people and glance towards each other and exchange our opinions. God, it felt so special! So where did it all go?
We were a team.
Whatever happened to you or me, it happened to us. We were going through everything and I mean literally everything together. You got my back—I got your back.
Even when our family members were out of the loop, you were the one to be my hero. And I was your hero as well. I can’t believe that our compatibility vanished so easily. Or did we just neglect it?
No more effort?
Is that what this is all about? Did we take us for granted or what? I guess we got tired of what we had and stopped appreciating it. No more late night walks, no more early morning conversations, no more what-do-I-do questions.
It’s like we’re declaring independence from each other. Don’t get me wrong—there is nothing bad in being independent, but I don’t think we really need it. I think we functioned pretty well together.
I miss us.
I really do. I miss everything we used to be. I miss our special bonds. I miss our favorite coffee shop and going there a few times each week. I miss getting drunk together, loving each other, being silly together, having each other’s back, defeating every minor setback with a greater comeback, balancing each other and what not.
But I’m not letting us become strangers.
I know when is the time to give up on a person and when to put in the extra effort. I am never the one to give up first. We’re not dead yet. We might just be tired and that’s fine. But it’s only fine as long as we rest when we’re tired. I won’t let us give up.
I read somewhere that sometimes you need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they’ll notice. Well, I care. I’ve noticed you distancing yourself and it kills me. It’s killing me.
I’m giving us another shot.
Because I know things are not over. I am not being clingy, I’m not being irrational nor am I being possessive. I could let you go but now is not the time. I am not sure it will ever be the time, but we were never toxic to each other.
We never harmed each other in any way and there aren’t many people out there that can say this as well. You suit me and I suit you. It’s like we’re two pieces of the puzzle that fit perfectly together and that’s why I’m going to make an extra effort.
We deserve an extra effort. I hope you’ll get my back this time as you did before.
See also: I Just Need To Know You Won’t Let Go