I’ve always been a very intense type of person. Whatever I do, I do wholeheartedly. I’ve got a huge heart with many rooms in it. I love the world no matter how much it hurts me sometimes.
A person can hardly change who she or he really is. I sometimes overreact, and people get confused. Sometimes, I even push people away. It’s difficult to decide where to draw the line with others.
Let me tell you what it feels like to be the girl who loves too much.
Relationships are hard. Guys notice that I’m the one who will do anything for them and expect nothing in return. And that’s how the story goes—I give everything, but I get nothing. The worst thing about it is that I started to feel as if I don’t deserve anything. Sometimes, it’s really frustrating. And of course, people call me too sensitive.
Honestly, I’m not afraid of getting a broken heart. I know it can heal and get in shape again. I’m afraid of an empty heart and apathy. I’m so afraid that one day I will wake up feeling nothing.
Sometimes, overthinking is my only way of thinking.
There is a fine line between a helpful person, and a people-pleaser, and I think I’ve crossed that line. People have started taking advantage of me. I know it’s about time for me to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump into puddles for me.
It’s very rewarding when you know you’re the one that people can always lean on. But, it becomes really suffocating once you overly burden yourself with other people’s problems while neglecting your own at the same time. I used every opportunity to help people, but after some time, I realized people started using me. They know I will repeatedly sacrifice myself to make them feel better.
Slowly, I started losing myself. I’m exhausted all the time. I guess I’m the one that needs help right now.
Let me tell you what it really feels like to be the girl who gives too much.
I often refuse to see who people really are. I don’t want to see how manipulative and two-faced they are. I assure myself they all have the best intentions.
I know all people have their fears and demons. It’s easier to pretend you’re something you’re not, because it will make you believe you have some kind of control over your life. But in fact, you don’t. Life is a dirty mess anyway, but I choose to stay who I am.
I love too much. I care too much. I give too much. I try to understand too much. I’m way too emotional. I take too many things personally. But, I really don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to pick up scattered pieces of myself.
I know I’m not perfect. Actually, I’m far from perfect, but if you give me back at least a particle of my love, I will do magic for you, I promise I will. Please, don’t take me for granted.