You’re not the man I’d ever fall for because now when I look at you, I can’t find the smallest amount of love for me. I don’t see myself in your eyes, I don’t feel that you care anymore. Maybe because you really don’t care?
You’re not the same man who’d do anything just to make me fall for him. You’re no longer the man who’d kiss me passionately each time we met, a man who’d send me a good morning text each day and who’d wish me sweet dreams before I went to sleep.
You’re not the man who’d do anything he could just to see me for a minute or who’d call just to hear my voice. That man somehow disappeared and I have no idea what to do to get him back.
When I look at you now, all I see is a stranger with whom I’m sharing my home. Our relationship feels like we’re travelers on the same train but that each stop might be the stop where you get off of the train and leave me. Y
ou’re just a shell of the man I fell for; everything on the inside is now different.
Your jealousy outbursts are getting more common with each day. It’s always something else and someone new that bugs you. If it was for you, I’d never have anyone to talk to, I’d be isolated from the rest of the world and I’d be alone because lately you’re never around.
The worst part is that the man I fell for was perfectly aware that I had other people and moreover he was fine with not being the only person in my life.
You enjoy seeing me down more and more. I’ve noticed that the more miserable I feel about myself, the better it makes you feel.
As if you enjoy to see me in pain, as if my tears bring you joy. The man I fell for would never have done anything that would make me cry. And here you are now, using each opportunity to see me down.
You seem like you don’t care about what happens to me. You have no need to talk to me, to ask me how I’ve been or how I feel. It’s like you’d enjoy it the most not to see me ever again. And the man I fell for loved spending time with me.
He enjoyed being next to me and he’d do anything just to steal a kiss from me. Now I feel like if I was served to you on a silver platter you wouldn’t even notice me.
I feel like I could die in front of your eyes and you wouldn’t make a move. The man I fell for would’ve taken a bullet for me.
Or was all of this one big charade? Maybe you did all those things so I’d fall for you. Maybe you did them to have me hooked so you’d be able to do whatever you wanted with me. Because after a while, this what we had, turned into a hell. While you’re enjoying it, I’m burning alive.
I don’t recognize you anymore. I don’t see how the tables have turned, when one moment everything was fine and then the next we were each other’s biggest enemies. We’re supposed to be partners, best friends, and we’re anything but that.
Each time I look at you, I fear that your verbal abuse will turn into a physical one. Each time I look at you, I see the monster you’re feeding has grown a little bit. And little by little, that monster is taking over you completely. And there isn’t a thing I can do.
I’m just too tired to fight anymore. I tried everything I could. The worse you treated me, the better I behaved.
The more you brought me down, the more I tried to give you love. I could never harm you and it seems that that’s the only thing you have planned for me lately. And I just can’t do it anymore. While I have some sanity left, I’m walking away. Actually, I’m running away because I’m not sure I could get away so easily otherwise.
You don’t have to worry about if I love you because I don’t think I’ll ever be completely capable of getting you out of my system.
Part of me will always wonder what happened and how such a loving man managed to turn into such a toxic one. But I’ll have to live with the fact that there will always be some questions left unanswered.
I’m not leaving because I don’t love you anymore, I’m leaving because I can’t stand the way you treat me, the way you make me feel.
I love you, but I don’t like you anymore. I don’t like the stranger I see when I look at you. I don’t like this broken me. So I’m leaving while I still have time, while I still have the strength to do so and while it’s not too late.