If this doesn’t happen that often (but usually during an argument), then chances are your spouse accidentally said something regrettable and inappropriate.<\/p>\n
Mas se acontecer com regularidade, pode ser o in\u00edcio de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o abusiva<\/a>Por isso, deve prestar aten\u00e7\u00e3o a este facto.<\/p>\n Perhaps they said something bad about your friends or family, your flaws, habits or appearance and now you can’t stop thinking about it.<\/p>\n The reason why you can’t stop thinking about it is because you feel hurt, offended and disappointed in your partner.<\/p>\n You want to let it go and forget about everything that happened but it’s easier said than done, right? Also, holding grudges is not a healthy option.<\/p>\n Portanto, tem basicamente duas op\u00e7\u00f5es:<\/strong><\/p>\n a)<\/strong> Pode fingir que nada aconteceu (mas isso resultar\u00e1 na acumula\u00e7\u00e3o de sentimentos negativos)<\/p>\n b)<\/strong> \u00c9 poss\u00edvel fazer o seguinte:<\/p>\n Oh, I know that you want to say so many things to them, force them to apologize to you and point out all those harsh words they said to you. But trust me, it’s not worth it.<\/p>\n Por mais dif\u00edcil que seja manter-se calmo e n\u00e3o dizer algumas coisas m\u00e1s tamb\u00e9m, tente n\u00e3o atacar de volta. Porqu\u00ea? Porque isso n\u00e3o vai resolver o problema, s\u00f3 o vai agravar.<\/p>\n When your spouse says hurtful things to you, you need to show them that you’re not like them.<\/p>\n There’s no point in saying something bad to your partner when you know that you will end up apologizing for it sooner or later.<\/p>\n The best bet is to leave things as they are for the time being and wait for them to apologize for hurting you. And if they don’t, then it’s time to re-evaluate your marriage.<\/p>\n It’s truly amazing how one person can distress you so much but you need to know that fighting back is not an option.<\/p>\n What you need to do is calm down, take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone.<\/p>\n Don’t immediately think that your partner doesn’t love you, that they hate you or that querem o div\u00f3rcio<\/a>.<\/p>\n 80% do tempo, estes coisas dolorosas<\/a> s\u00e3o coisas ditas no calor do momento e n\u00e3o est\u00e3o diretamente relacionadas com a qualidade do seu casamento.<\/strong> N\u00e3o se esque\u00e7am disso.<\/p>\n H\u00e1 muitas raz\u00f5es para que o seu parceiro o magoe involuntariamente com palavras.<\/p>\n Essas raz\u00f5es n\u00e3o est\u00e3o necessariamente ligadas a si, mas podem fazer parte da acumula\u00e7\u00e3o de stress devido ao trabalho, \u00e0s tarefas ou a outras obriga\u00e7\u00f5es e problemas.<\/p>\n O que tem de fazer \u00e9 pensar no contexto em que o seu c\u00f4njuge disse todas essas coisas m\u00e1s e na forma como tem agido ultimamente.<\/strong><\/p>\n Fa\u00e7a as seguintes perguntas a si pr\u00f3prio:<\/p>\n \u2022 Was my spouse recently in some stressful situations?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they sleep-deprived?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they acting differently from before?<\/p>\n \u2022 Are they treating their friends and family in the same way?<\/p>\n As respostas a estas perguntas ajud\u00e1-lo-\u00e3o a perceber se as suas discuss\u00f5es e palavras ofensivas s\u00e3o apenas uma forma de desabafo do seu c\u00f4njuge.<\/p>\n Don’t strike back and don’t overreact but also don’t act like it’s not a big deal. I know it is and you know it is too.<\/p>\n N\u00e3o faz mal que essas palavras duras tenham afetado a sua autoestima<\/a> e fez-te sentir menos digno.<\/p>\n I mean, that’s what words do. They hurt us and it burns like hell. Because of that, we often succumb to the temptation of suppressing our feelings but this will not make them go away.<\/p>\n Pelo contr\u00e1rio, ir\u00e1 prolongar a dor que est\u00e1 a sentir nesse momento.<\/p>\n Assim, a \u00fanica coisa l\u00f3gica e a melhor coisa a fazer \u00e9 ACEITAR a situa\u00e7\u00e3o e VALIDAR os seus sentimentos. Abrace o que sente em vez de o tentar apagar.<\/strong><\/p>\n We all know very well that one cannot do that, no matter how hard we try so don’t pretend that you’re made of stainless steel when you yourself know that this is a lie.<\/p>\n You’re a human being and you’re allowed to feel things; to feel hurt, sad, happy and whatnot. That’s the beauty of being one.<\/p>\n Your emotions are not things you should be afraid of (especially if you’re a guy because guys are told that validating or expressing their feelings is not a masculine thing to do).<\/p>\n Well, be it masculine or not, it’s NECESSARY.<\/p>\n Este \u00e9 um dos m\u00e9todos mais \u00fateis e utilizo-o sempre que me sinto angustiado ou magoado. Escrever os seus pensamentos e sentimentos ajuda-o a compreender melhor o que sente.<\/p>\n Quando algo de mau acontece, algumas pessoas telefonam ao seu melhor amigo e contam-lhe o que aconteceu, outras optam por ir dar um passeio e outras por escrever o que sentem.<\/p>\n All of these methods are equally helpful and it’s just a matter of preference which one you’ll choose as a coping method.<\/p>\n Se me perguntarem, escrever as coisas \u00e9 o m\u00e9todo mais pr\u00e1tico<\/strong> e pode dar-lhe a melhor vis\u00e3o da situa\u00e7\u00e3o global.<\/p>\n Aqui n\u00e3o h\u00e1 regras. Basta come\u00e7ar a escrever o que lhe vier \u00e0 cabe\u00e7a.<\/p>\n Por exemplo: \u201cI feel hurt because my spouse said something really insulting to me today. I know that they probably don’t mean it but it still hurts and I don’t know what to say or do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Escrever os seus pensamentos ajud\u00e1-lo-\u00e1 no passo seguinte, que \u00e9 falar com o seu c\u00f4njuge. Basicamente, o que escreve num papel \u00e9 o que pode dizer ao seu c\u00f4njuge cara a cara.<\/p>\n O que fazer quando o seu marido diz coisas que o magoam ou quando a sua mulher diz coisas que o magoam? FALAR com eles.<\/p>\n Once you calm down and accept what happened, it’s time to talk to your spouse about it.<\/p>\n A regra mais importante a seguir quando se trata de comunicar com o seu c\u00f4njuge \u00e9 a seguinte: N\u00e3o gritar ou atacar.<\/strong><\/p>\n Embora gritar seja provavelmente a primeira coisa que nos vem \u00e0 cabe\u00e7a quando pensamos em comunicar com algu\u00e9m que magoar-vos<\/a>, you shouldn’t do it.<\/p>\n Em vez disso, deve falar com eles de forma aberta e honesta, sem os acusar.<\/p>\n Sabia que as diferentes estruturas das suas frases podem transmitir significados diferentes?<\/p>\n Por exemplo, se disser ao seu c\u00f4njuge algo do g\u00e9nero: \u201cYou called me stupid the other day. You’re so mean,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> they will feel attacked because you’re blaming them for it.<\/p>\n Por isso, podem dizer coisas mais ofensivas ao tentarem defender-se.<\/p>\n Now, let’s rephrase that sentence into the following: \u201cI feel really hurt and disappointed because of the things you said to me the other day.\u201d<\/strong><\/em> Nota a diferen\u00e7a?<\/p>\n Este tipo de frase n\u00e3o os ataca diretamente, mas diz-lhes exatamente o que pensa de tudo isto e \u00e9 esta a mensagem que lhes quer enviar.<\/p>\n You want them to know how their words made you feel. You want them to feel the weight of all the things they said to you. That’s the only way to motivate them to apologize to you.<\/p>\n When a person is feeling attacked, there’s not a chance they will apologize for their behavior.<\/p>\n Mas quando lhes d\u00e1 algum espa\u00e7o para verem o que fizeram e compreenderem os danos da sua escolha de palavras, eles pedir\u00e3o desculpa e pensar\u00e3o duas vezes antes de repetir o mesmo erro no futuro.<\/p>\n Ver tamb\u00e9m: Como lidar quando algu\u00e9m que amamos nos magoa profundamente?<\/a><\/p>\n This is one of the most difficult things you’ll need to do but it’s necessary for two reasons:<\/p>\n a)<\/strong> Isso ajud\u00e1-lo-\u00e1 a compreender como se sentiram durante a discuss\u00e3o<\/p>\n b)<\/strong> Ajudar-vos-\u00e1 a perdoar-lhes<\/p>\n Quando observar a situa\u00e7\u00e3o do ponto de vista deles, compreender\u00e1 a sua raiva ou o que quer que estejam a passar durante a discuss\u00e3o. Pode compar\u00e1-lo com as suas experi\u00eancias de loucura total.<\/p>\n You probably said something you didn’t mean before just because you weren’t in control of your vocabulary at that moment. Once you know that, it’s easier for you to understand them and forgive them.<\/p>\n Whatever your spouse said to you, you shouldn’t take their words seriously.<\/p>\n You shouldn’t think that they are your enemy because they aren’t. They are still your best friend, confidant and partner in crime.<\/p>\n The things they said during an argument shouldn’t change what they mean to you. Also, you shouldn’t let those words make you feel less worthy or influence your self-esteem in one way or another.<\/p>\n I know it’s hard to think positively in this situation but you have to at least try to. Their words shouldn’t make you insecure because you yourself know that whatever they said to you is not true. And they know it too.<\/p>\n When your spouse says hurtful things to you, it feels like your world is literally falling apart. All you can think of is how they made you feel miserable and hurt your feelings. And that’s totally okay.<\/p>\n You shouldn’t suppress what you feel<\/a> mas leva o tempo que precisares para te curares!<\/p>\n Agora, o que significa curar? Cada pessoa tem o seu pr\u00f3prio conceito de cura.<\/strong> Para algumas pessoas, \u00e9 \u00fatil dar um passeio, conversar com um amigo ou encontrar um novo passatempo e concentrar-se em exprimir-se.<\/p>\n Para iniciar o processo de cura, precisa de sair da sua cabe\u00e7a e a forma mais f\u00e1cil de o fazer \u00e9 expressar-se. Pode gritar, cantar, desenhar, escrever ou fazer o que lhe parecer melhor.<\/p>\n The focus is on getting those negative feelings out of your system and you’ll do that by expressing yourself both emotionally and physically. Going for a run or meditating are also great alternatives.<\/p>\n Whatever you choose to do, don’t force yourself to forget everything but instead focus on the healing process.<\/p>\n Outro passo importante \u00e9 a reavalia\u00e7\u00e3o da vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o. \u00c9 necess\u00e1rio colocar a si pr\u00f3prio a seguinte quest\u00e3o: H\u00e1 j\u00e1 algum tempo que o meu c\u00f4njuge me diz constantemente coisas que me magoam ou isso aconteceu apenas uma ou algumas vezes?<\/em><\/p>\n If you can’t even remember when your spouse started saying harsh words to you, chances are it’s been happening for a long time now. If that is the case with you, we might be talking about abuso emocional<\/a>.<\/p>\n Menosprezar constantemente os seus sentimentos com palavras duras \u00e9 uma forma de abuso verbal que pode diminuir a sua confian\u00e7a e prejudic\u00e1-lo emocionalmente a longo prazo.<\/strong><\/p>\n If you’re still in love with them, you might be having difficulty realizing that this is the case.<\/p>\n It’s true that couples in a rela\u00e7\u00e3o duradoura<\/a> (especially married couples) face lots of problems but they shouldn’t be constant. If they are, then this could be a potential dealbreaker.<\/p>\n Alguma vez se colocou a si pr\u00f3prio a seguinte quest\u00e3o: Porque \u00e9 que me casei?<\/em> Se sim, ent\u00e3o sabe que algo n\u00e3o est\u00e1 bem na sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n Your friends and family should be your biggest support (especially in difficult times) so don’t hesitate to contact them and tell them how you’re feeling.<\/p>\n There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Take a deep breath and say: A minha mulher\/marido diz coisas ofensivas quando discutimos. Sinto-me magoado e desamparado.<\/em><\/p>\n Talvez os seus pais ou alguns dos seus amigos tenham passado pelo mesmo, pelo que poder\u00e3o dar-lhe alguns conselhos \u00fateis sobre o assunto.<\/p>\n Se, por qualquer raz\u00e3o, n\u00e3o puder falar com os seus amigos ou familiares, fale com o seu colega de trabalho<\/a> ou um estranho ao acaso, se necess\u00e1rio.<\/p>\n I’ve realized that sometimes the greatest advice comes from people you barely know.<\/p>\n If all else fails (and even if it doesn’t fail), you can always seek professional help.<\/p>\n Existem muitos conselheiros matrimoniais<\/a>O que \u00e9 que n\u00e3o falta s\u00e3o especialistas em encontros e rela\u00e7\u00f5es, prontos para lhe darem muitos conselhos \u00fateis sobre rela\u00e7\u00f5es e casamento.<\/p>\n It doesn’t matter whether this is happening to you for the first time or has been for some time now, it is never too late to seek advice from professionals.<\/p>\n 1. \u201c\u2019Sorry\u2019 we all say \u2018Sorry\u2019 for the wrong things we say and do. But do we always think about the people we love dearly who we say hurtful things to? I don\u2019t think so because if we had think about it sorry wouldn’t have become such a popular word today. Sometimes we say so much and act immature as adult. We didn’t take the time to realize how much hurt and pain we put that individual in we never took the time to think of the reaction, the feelings and the consequence that we might have to face if what we do turns out to be a matter of life and death.!!!\u201d \u2015 Napz Cherub Pellazo<\/p>\n 2. \u201cPalavras tontas<\/em> cause trills because they’re ludicrous and funny. Palavras felizes<\/em> pintar sorrisos sem fim e engolir os problemas. Palavras pensadas<\/em> s\u00e3o assim porque fazem com que o dia seja solarengo. Mas palavras ofensivas<\/em> are such that pierce the heart and weigh the soul.\u201d \u2015 Richelle E. Goodrich<\/p>\n 3. \u201cWhen the person you love can’t see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind.\u201d \u2015 Shannon L. Alder<\/p>\n 4. \u201cWhen someone tells you that you have done something that has hurt them, you don\u2019t get to decide that you didn\u2019t.\u201d \u2015 Karon Waddell<\/p>\n 5. \u201cHonesty hurts and depending on the situation you should really think twice about your words. They can be hurtful and have a bad influence. Once they leave your mouth they can cause allot of soul damage and heartache.\u201d \u2015 Lily Amis<\/p>\n 6. \u201cYes, a person can accept your apology and forgive you for what you\u2019ve said, but they will never forget how you made them feel at that very moment. Words can stick in a person\u2019s mind, heart, and spirit long after the words have been spoken. Don\u2019t be in denial; words have GREAT power. Be wise when you speak!\u201d \u2015 Stephanie Lahart<\/p>\n 7. \u201cDogs bite sometimes, people bite at all times, with their hurtful words.\u201d \u2015 Mehmet Murat \u0130ldan<\/p>\n 8. \u201c\u2019Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me.\u2019 This is a lie. What we say matters. The unkind things we communicate can soil the best of relationships; even with the deepest of regrets\u2026 what lingers is a stain of hurt that may fade but will never truly go away. The wounding words we say are like feathers released in a harsh wind, once said; we will never get them back.\u201d \u2015 Jason Versey<\/p>\n 9. \u201cIt hurts when you go through something that kills you inside but you have to act like it doesn’t affect you at all.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 1. \u201cForgiveness is a sign that the person who has wronged you means more to you than the wrong they have dealt.\u201d \u2014 Ben Greenhalgh<\/p>\n 2. \u201cTo heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 3. \u201cYou’ll never know how strong your heart is until you learn to forgive who broke it.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 4. \u201cWhen you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.\u201d \u2014 Catherine Ponder<\/p>\n 5. \u201cHow people treat you is their karma<\/a>; how you react is yours.\u201d \u2014 Wayne Dyer<\/p>\n 6. \u201cWithout forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.\u201d \u2014 Roberto Assagioli<\/p>\n 7. \u201cForgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.\u201d \u2014 Paul Boese<\/p>\n 8. \u201cTo forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.\u201d \u2014 Robert Muller<\/p>\n 9. \u201cForgiveness is a powerful tool to reconnect with the offender and your true, inner self.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 10. \u201cTo err is human, to forgive, divine.\u201d \u2014 Alexander Pope<\/p>\n 11. \u201cPeople are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.\u201d \u2014 Joseph F. Newton<\/p>\n 12. \u201cBefore we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.\u201d \u2014 Emma Goldman<\/p>\n 13. \u201cForgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive them.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 14. \u201cIt’s not easy to forgive and let go but remind yourself that harboring the resentment will only aggravate your pain.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 15. \u201cHappily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.\u201d \u2014 Fawn Weaver<\/p>\n 16. \u201cPerd\u00e3o<\/a> is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.\u201d \u2014 Mason Cooley<\/p>\n 17. \u201cThe act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.\u201d \u2014 Louise Hay<\/p>\n 18. \u201cForgiveness is a powerful weapon. Equip yourself with it and free your soul from fear.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 19. \u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d \u2014 Lewis B. Smedes<\/p>\n 20. \u201cA casamento feliz<\/a> is the union of two good forgivers.\u201d \u2014 Ruth Bell Graham<\/p>\n 21. \u201cNot forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.\u201d \u2014 Anne Lamott<\/p>\n 22. \u201cThe first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 23. \u201cLet go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?\u201d \u2014 Leo Buscaglia<\/p>\n 24. \u201cLearning to forgive will help you remove a major roadblock to your success.\u201d \u2014 Unknown<\/p>\n 25. \u201cForgiveness isn\u2019t approving what happened. It\u2019s choosing to rise above it.\u201d \u2014 Robin Sharma<\/p>\n 26. \u201cBlame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals.\u201d \u2014 Thomas S. Monson<\/p>\n 27. \u201cForgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.\u201d \u2014 George MacDonald<\/p>\n 28. \u201cAs long as you don\u2019t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind.\u201d \u2014 Isabelle Holland<\/p>\n 29. \u201cOnce a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.\u201d \u2014 Marlene Dietrich<\/p>\n 30. \u201cForgiveness is just another name for freedom.\u201d \u2014 Byron Katie<\/p>\n![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-having-relationship-problems.jpg\")
<\/p>\nN\u00c3O ripostar<\/h2>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-man-sitting.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAcalmar-se e reavaliar a situa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-african-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAceitar e validar as suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/man-with-a-cellphone.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEscreva os seus pensamentos e sentimentos<\/h2>\n
![\"rapariga](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/girl-writing-in-her-diary.jpg\")
<\/p>\nFalar com o seu c\u00f4njuge sobre o assunto<\/h2>\n
![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/serious-couple-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nObserve the situation from your spouse’s point of view<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/worried-pensive-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDon’t let their words affect you negatively<\/h2>\n
![\"jovem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-sad-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLeve o tempo que precisar para se curar<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/pensive-woman-walking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nReavaliar a vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/pensive-pretty-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\nFale com os seus amigos e familiares<\/h2>\n
![\"duas](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/two-women-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\nProcurar ajuda profissional<\/h2>\n
![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-sitting-on-sofa.jpg\")
<\/p>\n9 cita\u00e7\u00f5es sobre quando o seu c\u00f4njuge diz coisas que magoam<\/h2>\n
![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/upset-couple-sitting.jpg\")
<\/p>\n55 cita\u00e7\u00f5es que o ajudar\u00e3o a perdoar o seu c\u00f4njuge<\/h2>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/guilty-young-man.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/happy-reconciled-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"jovem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-couple-on-jetty.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"casais](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/couple-in-love-embraced.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"casal](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/multicultural-couple-hugging-.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/young-woman-crying-over.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/man-embracing-pensive-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\n