{"id":106446,"date":"2020-10-26T16:26:50","date_gmt":"2020-10-26T16:26:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=106446"},"modified":"2021-08-11T08:59:16","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T08:59:16","slug":"a-culpa-e-sempre-tua","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/a-culpa-e-sempre-tua\/","title":{"rendered":"Levantem a m\u00e3o se, de alguma forma, a culpa \u00e9 sempre vossa"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\"Lembras-te de o meu ex-companheiro me gritar quando est\u00e1vamos a ter mais uma discuss\u00e3o por ele n\u00e3o fazer a sua parte do trabalho?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t understand what the big deal is, you\u2019re the one who wanted to live in this stupid, overpriced apartment anyway,\u201d he said pointedly as if he had nothing to do with it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Como sempre, foi <em>culpa minha<\/em>. Eu era o editor-chefe do que quer que tivesse corrido mal desta vez. Eu era o mau da fita.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Isto acontece-lhe? Est\u00e1 cansado de ser sempre o <em>mau da fita?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It sounds fun if you\u2019re a TV series character, but when it comes to real-life relationships, it\u2019s no fun at all.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s <em>sua culpa<\/em> he broke the glass that you left on the counter. It\u2019s <em>sua culpa<\/em> he comes home tired from work and never does anything productive. It\u2019s <em>sua culpa<\/em> things are not \u201chow they used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve probably been told too many times that you were to blame for something that happened totally beyond your control. Apart from being a complete lie, it must\u2019ve been hurtful to hear, especially from a loved one.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I\u2019ve been there. As a matter of fact, I kept on believing it was somehow my fault even though it never was, and let me tell you, it has left consequences.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106456\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3.jpg\" alt=\"mulher loira com top floral perto de uma \u00e1rvore\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-standing-near-tree-3-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Even today, I struggle to see things objectively and not fall into the loop of self-blaming, even when nobody suggests I\u2019m guilty of something.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Not only that, but I have an unhealthily frequent habit to excuse and explain others even when they don\u2019t deserve it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Things like this slowly take over your life. They shape your thoughts and before you know it, you\u2019re stuck in another repeating cycle of feeling guilt and making excuses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How come one person can be responsible for everything that goes wrong in someone else&#8217;s life? The short answer is they can\u2019t and never can be.<\/p>\n<p>A resposta longa \u00e9 mais complicada. A pessoa que culpa procura desesperadamente raz\u00f5es para a sua pr\u00f3pria mis\u00e9ria noutro lugar.<\/p>\n<p>Naturally, it\u2019s easier for them, and people in general, to point the finger at someone else, instead of looking at themselves in the mirror. This is exactly why there\u2019s so much misunderstanding and hate in the world.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, there are those who take the blame without realizing it\u2019s not theirs, and \u2013 you guessed it \u2013 this is what creates an unhealthy dynamic between the two.<\/p>\n<p>Nenhum deles tem raz\u00e3o e, verdade seja dita, provavelmente est\u00e3o apenas a repetir padr\u00f5es de comportamento que aprenderam no passado.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-106457 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach.jpg\" alt=\"mulher a caminhar na praia durante o p\u00f4r do sol\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/woman-walking-on-beach-720x481.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Felizmente, as coisas podem ser mudadas quando as tornamos conscientes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>People who blame everyone else but themselves always prey on those with a lack of sel-esteem \u2013 who already have a problem with guilt.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>But there\u2019s the catch. The person who\u2019s being accused also has a problem. They also have some kind of victim mentality that keeps landing them in the same situations.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Lembro-me que cheguei a um ponto em que tudo o que fazia parecia errado. N\u00e3o tinha limites pessoais. N\u00e3o tinha respeito por mim pr\u00f3prio.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s true that people can take advantage of you, but it\u2019s also true that you can stop them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Com o tempo, apercebi-me de que todas as pessoas s\u00e3o respons\u00e1veis pelos seus actos, incluindo eu.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>We\u2019re all guilty of something, just don\u2019t let it define you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sometimes things are beyond our control, however, how we react to them isn\u2019t.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I learned to refuse to take on someone else\u2019s burden if it\u2019s going to break my back. That\u2019s when I learned that it\u2019s not <em>culpa minha.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Em vez disso, comecei a concentrar a minha aten\u00e7\u00e3o em coisas que podem ser mudadas e corrigidas, em vez de sentir uma culpa absurda.<\/p>\n<p>Desde ent\u00e3o, nunca mais olhei para tr\u00e1s.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou always blow up over nothing\u201d, I remember my ex-partner yelling at me as we were having yet another argument over him not doing his share of the work. \u201cI don\u2019t understand what the big deal is, you\u2019re the one who wanted to live in this stupid, overpriced apartment anyway,\u201d he said pointedly as if&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":106455,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse &amp; trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Raise-Your-Hand-If-Somehow-Its-Always-Your-Fault.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse &amp; trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse &amp; trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=106446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106446\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/106455"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=106446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=106446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=106446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}