{"id":111027,"date":"2020-11-09T13:21:33","date_gmt":"2020-11-09T13:21:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=111027"},"modified":"2021-08-12T12:41:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T12:41:50","slug":"enganar-os-pais","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/enganar-os-pais\/","title":{"rendered":"8 sinais preocupantes de pais gaslighting e como lidar com eles"},"content":{"rendered":"

Toda a gente comete erros e perde a calma de vez em quando. Os pais n\u00e3o s\u00e3o diferentes. <\/strong><\/p>\n

They’re human just like everybody else. However, enganar os pais<\/em> s\u00e3o outra coisa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The signs of gaslighting parents are not always easy to see because, well, that’s como o gaslighting obras<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Nada parece alarmante \u00e0 primeira vista, mas na realidade, as cr\u00edticas constantes deixam as crian\u00e7as confusas e magoadas.<\/p>\n

If you’re not sure what gaslighting means, here’s a little intro for you.<\/p>\n

O que s\u00e3o pais gaslighting?<\/h2>\n

\"m\u00e3e<\/p>\n

Let’s start with gaslighting.<\/p>\n

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where the abuser makes you feel and labels you as \u2018crazy\u2019 because of your reactions, even though your reactions and feelings are completely normal and expected.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This type of abuse is especially hard when it’s present in a child-parent relationship.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, many parents don’t even know they’re doing it because they see nothing wrong with their behavior.<\/p>\n

However, it takes a major toll on kids. The reason why this happens so often is that parents tend to forget that children don’t have enough experience to view life and the world around them the same as they do.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o s\u00f3 isso, mas os pais esquecem-se de que \u00e9 suposto as crian\u00e7as explorarem o mundo por si pr\u00f3prias, expressarem-se autenticamente sem medo e n\u00e3o serem moldadas de acordo com as suas expectativas.<\/p>\n

There’s nothing more crushing for a child than denying their emotions, as a child doesn’t yet know how to control them.<\/p>\n

When you gaslight your child, what you’re actually doing is making them upset on purpose, just to manipulate them later on into thinking they have no reason to be upset or emotional.<\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que o gaslighting numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o pais-filhos \u00e9 muitas vezes dif\u00edcil de detetar?<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

A parent-child relationship is considered a relationship where parents have \u2018power\u2019 and \u2018control\u2019 over the kid and that’s why the disbalance of power goes unnoticed.<\/p>\n

While parents must have authority, they shouldn’t abuse their power and try to push their own reality on their kids.<\/p>\n

However, that’s what frequently happens.<\/p>\n

A kid\u2019s reality may be discredited because it doesn’t match the reality of one of the parents and therefore the child feels confused and questions themselves.<\/p>\n

O gaslighting dos pais assume muitas formas diferentes e tem muitas origens diferentes.<\/p>\n

Por exemplo, os pais podem ser imaturos, demasiado protectores, sobrecarregados, sem educa\u00e7\u00e3o, narcisistas, etc.<\/p>\n

Narcissists are probably the most common and popular group of people who use gaslighting in their everyday life and usually aren’t even aware of it.<\/p>\n

Uma pessoa com uma perturba\u00e7\u00e3o de personalidade narc\u00edsica<\/a> has a grandiose sense of self and a hard time accepting criticism, which is the main reason why they don’t understand their mistakes as a parent once they’re faced with them.<\/p>\n

Infelizmente, se o gaslighting dos pais \u00e9 algo com que uma crian\u00e7a se depara frequentemente durante o processo de crescimento, isso afecta definitivamente a sua sa\u00fade mental.<\/p>\n

Uma crian\u00e7a v\u00edtima de gaslighting pode tornar-se num adulto que luta contra a inseguran\u00e7a, a ansiedade, a agressividade e a paranoia, rela\u00e7\u00f5es abusivas<\/a>, etc.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Carta de uma rapariga que sobreviveu \u00e0 ilumina\u00e7\u00e3o a g\u00e1s<\/a><\/p>\n

Sinais de gaslighting dos pais<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Not acknowledging a child’s feelings<\/h2>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

Uma das piores e mais dolorosas coisas que pode acontecer a uma crian\u00e7a \u00e9 ver os seus sentimentos ridicularizados ou n\u00e3o levados a s\u00e9rio.<\/p>\n

For example, if a child is afraid of something (like the dark, bugs, heights, etc.) and the parent says sentences like, “Stop being a baby!” they invalidate the child’s emotions.<\/p>\n

In other words, they’re telling the child that their emotions are not important or normal.<\/p>\n

It’s not surprising that children will think of their actions as weak and blame themselves when there’s nothing to blame themselves for.<\/p>\n

Instead of belittling a child’s emotions, parents should be there for their child and try to understand what exactly made them uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

A parent should respect their child’s emotions, even if they don’t understand them.<\/p>\n

Decidir o que uma crian\u00e7a gosta e n\u00e3o gosta<\/h2>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Many parents make this mistake and it’s one of the biggest and easily brushed off red flags.<\/p>\n

Antes mesmo de o filho ter tempo para decidir se gosta ou n\u00e3o de alguma coisa, fazem-no por ele.<\/p>\n

Por vezes, mesmo quando os filhos decidem por si pr\u00f3prios, os pais ignoram a sua decis\u00e3o e continuam a fazer o que pretendiam fazer na mesma.<\/p>\n

This is like saying, “You’re incapable of making decisions for yourself,” or, “Someone else knows what’s better for you.”<\/p>\n

Of course, it’s no surprise when this child grows up into an adult who has problems with decision-making.<\/p>\n

A tomada de decis\u00f5es \u00e9 uma das coisas mais importantes que as crian\u00e7as devem aprender para se tornarem adultos saud\u00e1veis e funcionais.<\/p>\n

Como educar os filhos para tomarem boas decis\u00f5es em vez de lhes tirar a decis\u00e3o das m\u00e3os?<\/p>\n

Of course, a child can’t have full responsibility for every decision in their young life.<\/p>\n

No entanto, os pais devem apresentar-lhes as op\u00e7\u00f5es e as escolhas antes de manifestarem os seus pr\u00f3prios pensamentos e desejos quando se trata de decidir.<\/p>\n

The other thing is, parents should know that children sometimes make bad decisions and that’s normal. It’s a process of maturity.<\/p>\n

Dismissing a child’s experiences<\/h2>\n

\"imagem<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, there are so many instances where family members dismiss a child’s experiences just because they weren’t there to witness that something happened or they simply believe that the child is imagining things.<\/p>\n

This is very hurtful and crushing for a child. Just imagine going to a person you have complete trust in, just to find out they don’t believe you or don’t think your experience is important.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 por isso que uma crian\u00e7a pode perder a confian\u00e7a num dos pais.<\/p>\n

Sim, as crian\u00e7as s\u00e3o imaginativas, mas o que elas sentem e experimentam deve ser levado a s\u00e9rio.<\/p>\n

Dismissing a child’s experiences can lead to a child not trusting their own perception later in life.<\/p>\n

Por outras palavras, faz da crian\u00e7a uma v\u00edtima de gaslighting e leva-a a questionar a sua pr\u00f3pria sanidade.<\/p>\n

Making fun of a child’s ideas<\/h2>\n

\"tristeza<\/p>\n

Algures no processo da idade adulta, os adultos esquecem-se do que significa ser crian\u00e7a.<\/p>\n

They forget it\u2019s a completely different state of being, full of new experiences, without having to worry about mundane life stuff.<\/p>\n

As crian\u00e7as t\u00eam naturalmente uma imagina\u00e7\u00e3o selvagem porque est\u00e3o apenas a come\u00e7ar a explorar o mundo.<\/p>\n

Their ideas are sometimes brilliant and sometimes silly and fun. That’s normal.<\/p>\n

What’s not normal is abusive parents who make fun of their children for their ideas, opinions and observations…<\/p>\n

As an adult, even if your child says something that doesn’t make sense, or is impossible or completely wrong, instead of making fun of them or scolding them, you should educate them.<\/p>\n

Trivializing a child\u2019s feelings is a cause of falta de auto-confian\u00e7a<\/a> e d\u00favidas sobre si pr\u00f3prios mais tarde na sua vida.<\/p>\n

Culpar uma crian\u00e7a<\/h2>\n

\"m\u00e3e<\/p>\n

A verdade \u00e9 que as crian\u00e7as aprendem o seu comportamento com os pais.<\/p>\n

Whenever a child does something that a parent considers \u2018bad\u2019, they should ask themselves if they unconsciously do something on a regular basis that would make a child do such a thing.<\/p>\n

There’s no point in blaming the child, who’s just exploring life and trying to figure out their place in the world.<\/p>\n

They’re not here to do everything perfectly, they’re not here to fit someone else’s standards or be shamed for who they are.<\/p>\n

There are so many other ways to show a child or a young person the consequences of their actions without directly blaming them, especially if they aren\u2019t aware that the aftermath of it is something out of their control.<\/p>\n

A compreens\u00e3o e o apoio s\u00e3o factores que devem estar sempre em primeiro lugar, antes da culpa.<\/p>\n

Esperar que uma crian\u00e7a reaja como um adulto<\/h2>\n

\"m\u00e3e<\/p>\n

Children are not adults and they shouldn’t behave like adults. Expecting a child to react like an adult is just unrealistic.<\/p>\n

Holding children to adult standards doesn’t make sense. Not only that but parents often even raise the standards for their children.<\/p>\n

Esperar que uma crian\u00e7a fa\u00e7a algo como um adulto com experi\u00eancia de vida adulta \u00e9 uma forma de manipula\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

No entanto, este comportamento manipulador<\/a> \u00e9, infelizmente, considerado normal.<\/p>\n

Um pai manipulador espera, por exemplo, que uma crian\u00e7a de tr\u00eas anos exprima corretamente os seus sentimentos como os adultos o fariam.<\/p>\n

That’s simply not possible since small children are new to feelings and don’t always know why they feel something when they do. Even many adults don’t!<\/p>\n

Este tipo de comportamento de gaslighting coloca muita press\u00e3o sobre a crian\u00e7a e \u00e9 prov\u00e1vel que crie um futuro adulto com problemas de controlo excessivo, perfeccionismo, etc.<\/p>\n

Mocking a child’s behavior<\/h2>\n

\"retrato<\/p>\n

A tro\u00e7a \u00e9 tamb\u00e9m uma forma de abuso emocional<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It signals to a child that their natural behavior or reaction is shameful, unintelligent or unaccepted, which strongly affects a child’s self-esteem.<\/p>\n

Mais tarde, isso reflecte-se no seu comportamento e rela\u00e7\u00f5es com outras pessoas, incluindo rela\u00e7\u00f5es amorosas.<\/p>\n

Uma crian\u00e7a aceita os insultos, a tro\u00e7a, a neglig\u00eancia e o comportamento geralmente inaceit\u00e1vel como algo normal e esperado.<\/p>\n

Infelizmente, este comportamento \u00e9 largamente aceite como normal, engra\u00e7ado e inofensivo, quando, na realidade, diz a uma pessoa que deve ter vergonha do seu \"eu\" natural.<\/p>\n

Ter vergonha de n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios \u00e9 muitas vezes o in\u00edcio da infelicidade. Nenhuma pessoa pode ser feliz sem a capacidade de se exprimir livre e autenticamente.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o pedir desculpa a uma crian\u00e7a<\/h2>\n

\"rapazinho<\/p>\n

Uma das coisas mais desoladoras que um pai pode fazer \u00e9 n\u00e3o pedir desculpa a um filho depois de este ter feito algo de errado, o que acontece muito em fam\u00edlias t\u00f3xicas<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It’s a normal and healthy thing to apologize after you’ve hurt someone, even if you did it unintentionally.<\/p>\n

A gaslighter parent will do something they know is wrong and won’t apologize because of their pride.<\/p>\n

Este \u00e9 um sinal de alerta que mostra um pai potencialmente narcisista.<\/p>\n

The first time this happens, children will automatically put the blame on themselves and accept their parent’s actions as normal.<\/p>\n

Ou copiam o seu comportamento ou come\u00e7am a pedir desculpa a toda a gente. Nenhuma destas op\u00e7\u00f5es \u00e9 um mecanismo saud\u00e1vel para lidar com a situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

Conclus\u00e3o<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"crian\u00e7a<\/p>\n

Esperemos que os sinais acima o tenham ajudado a detetar o gaslighting na sua pr\u00f3pria vida, quer seja como pai ou como filho.<\/p>\n

We all carry some learned behavior from our parents, so there’s no point in putting the blame entirely on one person.<\/p>\n

The gaslight effect comes in many different ways and as I said, many people who do it don’t even realize what they’re doing.<\/p>\n

Por outras palavras, todos n\u00f3s j\u00e1 fomos magoados de alguma forma e o nosso mecanismo de resposta transformou-nos nas pessoas que somos.<\/p>\n

No entanto, como adultos, temos de assumir a responsabilidade pelo nosso pr\u00f3prio comportamento e nunca parar de nos melhorarmos.<\/p>\n

It’s possible to change our behavioral patterns and our life by using perspective or with the help of professionals such as clinical psychologists.<\/p>\n

Depois de reconhecermos o que fazemos de errado, temos de o mudar. Tamb\u00e9m precisamos de pedir desculpa \u00e0s pessoas que mago\u00e1mos com a nossa falta de consci\u00eancia de n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios.<\/p>\n

\"crian\u00e7a<\/p>\n

If you’re the child of a gaslight parent, first and foremost, it’s important to heal yourself, understand where you’re coming from and understand how your circumstances affect your life decisions.<\/p>\n

Falar sobre o assunto com os seus pais \u00e9 opcional. Muitos pais narcisistas nunca assumem a responsabilidade pelas suas pr\u00f3prias ac\u00e7\u00f5es, enquanto outros se apercebem dos seus erros mais tarde na vida.<\/p>\n

You can always try to start a healthy conversation and inspire a reuniting and bonding experience but it all depends on the other person and if they’re ready for it.<\/p>\n

The most important thing is making things clear to yourself and implementing healthy habits into your own life, without caring about what another person will think, even if they’re your parent.<\/p>\n

Lembre-se de que pode sempre recuperar o seu poder, mesmo quando isso parece imposs\u00edvel.<\/p>\n

O medo e as emo\u00e7\u00f5es negativas come\u00e7am na nossa cabe\u00e7a e podem ser alterados. O primeiro e mais dif\u00edcil passo \u00e9 acreditar que se \u00e9 capaz de o fazer.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone makes mistakes and loses their cool sometimes. Parents are no different. They’re human just like everybody else. However, gaslighting parents are something else. The signs of gaslighting parents are not always easy to see because, well, that’s how gaslighting works. Nothing seems alarming at first glance but in reality, constant criticism makes children confused…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":111270,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/8-Worrisome-Signs-Of-Gaslighting-Parents-And-How-To-Cope-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111027"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111027\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/111270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}