{"id":11223,"date":"2019-12-04T08:06:16","date_gmt":"2019-12-04T08:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=11223"},"modified":"2021-08-12T13:32:31","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T13:32:31","slug":"deus-perdoa-o-abusador-ainda-amoroso","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/deus-perdoa-o-abusador-ainda-amoroso\/","title":{"rendered":"Deus me perdoe por ainda amar meu abusador"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t think I could ever have imagined myself being in a mess such as this. I don\u2019t think I ever imagined myself to be capable of loving someone who broke me, someone who managed to destroy everything I worked so hard for. But I do.<\/p>\n

You see, I can\u2019t shake this feeling that I could\u2019ve done things differently.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe if I\u2019d tried harder, maybe if I\u2019d stayed a little bit longer, he would\u2019ve changed. Maybe if I\u2019d given him another chance, maybe this time it would be different. Mas tento lembrar-me todos os dias que nunca causei nada disto, por isso n\u00e3o tenho poder para o mudar.<\/strong> Sempre que sonho com o seu rosto, obrigo-me a olhar para as cicatrizes nos meus bra\u00e7os.<\/p>\n

Sempre que sonho com os seus l\u00e1bios, lembro-me de todas as palavras de \u00f3dio que passaram por eles. Sempre que dou por mim saudades do homem por quem me apaixonei em tempos<\/a>lembro-me do homem que ele se tornou no final. O homem que me destruiu.<\/p>\n

Mas, Deus me perdoe, eu ainda o amo.<\/p>\n

Ainda o ou\u00e7o a gritar atr\u00e1s de mim, a chamar-me para dentro de casa, a chamar-me para ele.<\/strong> Begging me to stay. And for so long, I wondered if I\u2019d done the right thing.<\/p>\n

Ele disse-me que precisava de mim, mas eu deixei-o. Pediu-me que o ajudasse, mas em vez disso, escolhi ajudar-me a mim pr\u00f3pria.<\/p>\n

Ele implorou-me para ficar, mas eu fugi. Talvez, se eu tivesse ficado, talvez se eu tivesse tentado ajud\u00e1-lo, ele poderia estar melhor. Mas est\u00e1 a ver, cuidar de algu\u00e9m n\u00e3o pode ser feito \u00e0 custa do abandono de si pr\u00f3prio<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Taking care of his needs and neglecting mine is what I did the rest of our relationship, so I\u2019m trying to remind myself every day that it wasn\u2019t me who abandoned him.<\/p>\n

Abandonou-nos no momento em que levantou a voz, no momento em que me atirou contra um espelho. Abandonou-nos no momento em que fez de mim um objeto.<\/p>\n

Mas, Deus me perdoe, eu ainda o amo.<\/p>\n

\"Deus<\/p>\n

I never left because I decided I didn\u2019t love him.<\/strong> Nunca me fui embora porque os seus maus tratos fizeram desaparecer o meu amor. Sa\u00ed porque decidi que gostava mais de mim.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I left because I couldn\u2019t keep hoping that he would change and keep getting my heart broken on a daily basis when I realized he wouldn\u2019t. I left because I couldn\u2019t keep loving for both of us, hoping that my love would change his behavior. Hoping that maybe my love was strong enough to chase away the abuser from him. But it never was.<\/p>\n

O meu amor, as minhas esperan\u00e7as, os meus sonhos, eram apenas jogos para ele. Os meus sentimentos e o meu corpo eram brinquedos para ele. N\u00e3o tinha nada a ver comigo, tudo girava em torno dele e das suas necessidades.<\/a><\/p>\n

Mas, Deus me perdoe, eu ainda o amo.<\/p>\n

Ainda amo o homem que me fez sentir como se fosse a mulher mais sortuda do mundo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Continuo a amar o homem que me trazia caf\u00e9 na cama e rosas todos os domingos. Ainda amo o homem que me cantava can\u00e7\u00f5es de embalar sempre que eu estava doente. Ainda amo o homem que me beijava as l\u00e1grimas do rosto, o homem que beijava cada cent\u00edmetro do meu corpo, fazendo-me sentir como se eu fosse uma deusa que ele estava a adorar.<\/p>\n

Continuo a amar o homem que conheci em tempos e ainda consigo ver peda\u00e7os desse homem naquele que deixei.<\/strong> I can still see traces of love that used to be in his eyes and the curves of his smile on his face. I can still feel the warmth of his body against mine. I can still see the man I once loved, but I don\u2019t think he can do the same.<\/p>\n

I guess in the end, it\u2019s not God whom I should ask forgiveness from. It\u2019s the woman I used to be.<\/p>\n

\"DEUS<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t think I could ever have imagined myself being in a mess such as this. I don\u2019t think I ever imagined myself to be capable of loving someone who broke me, someone who managed to destroy everything I worked so hard for. But I do. You see, I can\u2019t shake this feeling that I…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":11238,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/adam-le-sommer-499193.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11223\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}