{"id":11560,"date":"2018-01-09T08:16:52","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T08:16:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=11560"},"modified":"2021-08-12T12:19:27","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T12:19:27","slug":"correu-mal-ate-comecou","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/correu-mal-ate-comecou\/","title":{"rendered":"Deu errado antes mesmo de come\u00e7ar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many of us see love as some lofty cure-all for our life\u2019s problems. We enjoy watching love movies because they show us this fairytale of how this guy and girl fall in love with each other, then they go through this breakup, get back together, and in the end, love conquers all. <\/span><\/p>\n

For many of us, this is furthest from the truth, but it only feeds our desire to obtain love. \u00a0Our movies, our stories and our history all celebrate it as life\u2019s ultimate goal\u2014the best solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price. <\/span><\/p>\n

Uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel exige mais do que emo\u00e7\u00f5es puras e paix\u00f5es elevadas, e precisamos de compreender isso. O segredo de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o bem sucedida assenta em valores mais profundos e mais importantes. O problema de idealizar o amor \u00e9 que isso nos leva a desenvolver expectativas irrealistas sobre o que o amor realmente \u00e9 e o que ele pode fazer por n\u00f3s.<\/p>\n

O meu ex-namorado e eu est\u00e1vamos loucamente apaixonados um pelo outro. Tamb\u00e9m viv\u00edamos em cidades diferentes, t\u00ednhamos fam\u00edlias que se odiavam e pass\u00e1vamos por epis\u00f3dios semanais de drama e brigas sem sentido.<\/span><\/p>\n

And every time we fought, we\u2019d come back to each other the next day, make up and remind each other how crazy we were about one another, that none of those little things matter because we\u2019re so in love and we\u2019ll find a way to work it out and everything will be great, just you wait and see. We did not try to solve the problems we argued about nor find out what was causing them because our love made us feel like we were overcoming our issues. Yet on a practical level, absolutely nothing had changed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Since we did not solve the problems, our fights repeated themselves. The arguments got worse. Our inability to ever see each other hung around our necks like an albatross. We were both self-absorbed to the point where we couldn\u2019t even communicate that effectively. Hours and hours talking on the phone with nothing actually said. Looking back, there was no hope that it was going to last.<\/span><\/p>\n

Afinal de contas, o amor conquista tudo, certo?<\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o \u00e9 de surpreender que essa rela\u00e7\u00e3o se tenha incendiado. O<\/span> rutura<\/span><\/a> era feio. E a grande li\u00e7\u00e3o que tirei disso foi a seguinte:<\/span> while love may make you feel better about your relationship problems, it doesn\u2019t actually solve any of them.<\/b><\/p>\n

Just because you’re in love does not mean that he is a good choice for you. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. A lot of disastrous relationships were entered into on the basis of emotion \u2014 we felt that \u201cspark\u201d and so we just dove in head first. \u00a0In that moment, it felt right to start a relationship regardless of everything, but after dating you look around and wonder, \u201cWhere did it go wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A verdade \u00e9 que correu mal <\/b>antes mesmo de come\u00e7ar<\/i><\/b>. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you looking for a partner, you must use not only your heart, but your mind. You need to evaluate a person\u2019s values, how they treat themselves, how they treat those close to them, their ambitions and their worldviews in general. Because if you fall in love with someone who is incompatible with you, who doesn\u2019t treat you well, who makes you feel worse about yourself, who doesn\u2019t hold the same respect for you as you do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to bring you down with them, who has different ambitions or life goals that are contradictory to your own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews that clash with your own sense of reality\u2014well, soon you will realize that after some period, you will not have nice moments in the relationship, and you certainly will not be able to be happy.<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many of us see love as some lofty cure-all for our life\u2019s problems. We enjoy watching love movies because they show us this fairytale of how this guy and girl fall in love with each other, then they go through this breakup, get back together, and in the end, love conquers all. For many of…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":11563,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/john-robert-marasigan-238147.jpg",800,552,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11560","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11560"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11560\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}