When you have an ambivalent attachment style, you’re taught to be unsure of love.<\/p>\n
Nunca recebeu o apoio, a aceita\u00e7\u00e3o e a seguran\u00e7a das suas primeiras figuras de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o quando era crian\u00e7a e, na sua vida adulta, tamb\u00e9m cresceu para criar la\u00e7os pouco saud\u00e1veis com outras pessoas.<\/p>\n
Por muito assustador que isto possa parecer, a boa not\u00edcia \u00e9 que pode ser trabalhado. No entanto, antes de mais, tem de se diagnosticar um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente.<\/p>\n
Depois disso, pode procurar as causas e concentrar-se nos mecanismos mais saud\u00e1veis para lidar com a situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n
Teoria da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-walking-on-field.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
A teoria da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o foi introduzida por John Bowlby. Em termos simples, o seu estudo gira em torno da liga\u00e7\u00e3o entre pessoas diferentes e da forma como todos n\u00f3s nos ligamos aos outros.<\/p>\n
O ponto principal desta teoria \u00e9 que o nosso estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o infantil tem impacto em todas as nossas rela\u00e7\u00f5es adultas.<\/p>\n
Bowlby afirma que todos n\u00f3s passamos a vida inteira a seguir os padr\u00f5es de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o que adopt\u00e1mos em crian\u00e7as pequenas.<\/p>\n
De acordo com esta teoria, existem quatro tipos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o:<\/p>\n
- \n
- estilo de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o seguro<\/li>\n
- estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansioso-preocupado<\/li>\n
- estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o desdenhoso e evitante<\/a><\/li>\n
- estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o medroso\/inseguro-evitante\/desorganizado<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Mary Ainsworth Situa\u00e7\u00e3o estranha<\/em><\/h3>\n
Mary Ainsworth was one of John Bowlby’s closest colleagues.<\/p>\n
She’s best known for the procedure she developed called Situa\u00e7\u00e3o estranha<\/em> \u2013 a set of methods she used to analyze and investigate attachment security.<\/p>\n
Embora o autor trate de beb\u00e9s e crian\u00e7as pequenas, este procedimento mostra uma liga\u00e7\u00e3o inquebr\u00e1vel entre os padr\u00f5es de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o na inf\u00e2ncia e os que se t\u00eam agora, como adultos.<\/p>\n
8 Padr\u00f5es comportamentais t\u00edpicos da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente<\/h2>\n
Todas as pessoas com esta perturba\u00e7\u00e3o de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00eam um comportamento muito semelhante.<\/p>\n
You’re preoccupied with your interpersonal relationships, insecurities overwhelm you, and you’re overwhelmed with fear of abandonment. Sound familiar?<\/p>\n
Incapacidade de controlar os sentimentos<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-indoor.jpg\")
<\/p>\nUm dos primeiros sintomas deste estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 o facto de a \u00e9 o cora\u00e7\u00e3o que vos conduz<\/a> atrav\u00e9s da vida, aconte\u00e7a o que acontecer. Como isso soa rom\u00e2ntico, deves pensar.<\/p>\n
Well, actually, no. It\u2019s one thing if you put your emotions above the ratio. After all, we\u2019ve all been there at one point. We\u2019ve all done something that wasn\u2019t a good idea just because our heart told us to.<\/p>\n
No entanto, no seu caso, as coisas s\u00e3o muito mais complexas e graves. You see, the number one problem is that you have no control over your emotions whatsoever \u2013 it always happens the other way around.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Yes, it\u2019s great loving someone with your entire heart. It\u2019s amazing to feel joy with every atom of your being.<\/p>\n
But what happens when the negative side of your emotions kicks in? It\u2019s not so great to be overwhelmed with sadness, is it?<\/p>\n
You would like to be able to take control of your feelings in the moments when you can\u2019t function properly due to your overthinking.<\/p>\n
Isto causa-lhe imensos problemas na vida. As pessoas n\u00e3o s\u00f3 o consideram demasiado emotivo, como tamb\u00e9m est\u00e1 sempre a sofrer altera\u00e7\u00f5es de humor.<\/p>\n
Practically any little thing can throw you into despair. You\u2019re anything but emotionally stable and balanced, whether you like to admit it or not.<\/p>\n
Desejo de intimidade<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-standing-in-forest.jpg\")
<\/p>\nQuando a maioria das pessoas ouve a palavra intimidade<\/a>Pensam em alguma a\u00e7\u00e3o debaixo do len\u00e7ol. Bem, a verdade \u00e9 que a intimidade \u00e9 muito mais do que isso.<\/p>\n
Se tem este tipo de estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o inseguro, anseia por intimidade, mas n\u00e3o apenas do tipo f\u00edsico.<\/p>\n
Instead, you have this urge to form a deep bond with another person \u2013 the urge to connect with your special someone on a spiritual level.<\/strong><\/p>\n
That sounds great when you\u2019re already in an intimate relationship. However, the problem is that you expect this intimacy to be built right away.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like you don\u2019t get it that people need time to open up to you and to welcome you into their hearts.<\/p>\n
Besides, as much as you try, you can\u2019t form a valuable connection with just about anyone who comes into your life.<\/p>\n
O resultado final \u00e9 que raramente se ama uma pessoa espec\u00edfica. Em vez disso, devido \u00e0 sua perturba\u00e7\u00e3o de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o, ama o potencial que ela tem.<\/strong><\/p>\n
You see them as someone who could become \u201cyour person.\u201d As someone who will fill in the void inside your soul.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Este tipo de comportamento de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 um dos sintomas mais frequentes de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente em adultos.<\/p>\n
\u00c9 que nunca sentiu esta liga\u00e7\u00e3o genu\u00edna com os seus principais cuidadores quando era crian\u00e7a, e isso nota-se.<\/p>\n
So, now that you\u2019re all grown up, you\u2019re doing everything in your power to find that missing piece. Well, the problem arises when you look for it in all the wrong places and people.<\/p>\n
Medo de abandono<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-on-the-street-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEntre outras coisas, tem ra\u00edzes profundas trauma de abandono<\/a>. Esta situa\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 especialmente comum nas crian\u00e7as pequenas que foram separadas dos seus pais ou dos seus principais cuidadores numa idade precoce.<\/p>\n
You assume that everyone will treat you the way they did. You can\u2019t build a healthy romantic relationship as your fears block you and prevent you from thinking straight.<\/p>\n
The moment you notice that you\u2019re growing fond of someone (which is not rare), you also get all paranoid.<\/p>\n
Em vez de aproveitarmos os momentos felizes com algu\u00e9m que amamos e que nos ama de volta, os pensamentos negativos apoderam-se de n\u00f3s.<\/p>\n
You immediately think of different scenarios where everything will go wrong. Of course, in all of those situations, you\u2019re the one who is being left behind.<\/p>\n
You start changing yourself in an attempt to keep this person next to you. You\u2019re 100% positive that you\u2019ll be abandoned sooner or later.<\/p>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-touching-her-face.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAnd who could function properly under this kind of pressure? That\u2019s right, nobody, so it\u2019s no wonder that you start feeling dissatisfied.<\/p>\n
Afinal de contas, vive-se constantemente com medo de falhar. Mesmo que tudo esteja a correr bem, procura bandeiras vermelhas que n\u00e3o existem.<\/p>\n
I get it: you think that this is the way to prevent the worst possible scenario from happening. You\u2019re overly cautious, thanks to everything painful you\u2019ve experienced during your early childhood.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re actually trying to spot the signs of abandonment in time so that you can act on them right away, like that would make any difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n
However, instead of keeping your loved one close to you, your attachment disorder just chases them away. You can\u2019t seem to relax, and you turn into a naggy and bitter person who always expects the worst.<\/p>\n
Ser aquele que ama mais<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-hugging-man-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nFor as long as you can remember, you\u2019ve been aquele que ama mais<\/a>. This is not just how things roll in your love life \u2013 you\u2019re like this with your friends and family members as well.<\/p>\n
\u00c9 compreens\u00edvel que isto o frustre. Afinal de contas, quem \u00e9 que gostaria de se sentir mal amado e indesejado?
\nYou\u2019re the one making all the sacrifices and keeping all of your interpersonal relationships from breaking.<\/p>\nAquele que faz todo o esfor\u00e7o enquanto a outra parte o toma como garantido.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re the one who is devastated after the split while everyone else moves on with their lives as if nothing happened.<\/p>\n
Bem, este \u00e9 outro sinal de um ambivalente, estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansioso.<\/a> Agarramo-nos ao objeto do nosso afeto com tanta for\u00e7a que ele se torna a \u00fanica raz\u00e3o da nossa exist\u00eancia.<\/strong><\/p>\n
However, even if they love you back, they can never give you as much as you think you deserve. Well, the point is that they shouldn\u2019t.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Not only that: you shouldn\u2019t be so focused on them either. You can\u2019t love anyone else more than you love yourself.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s the key to your problem. You only look at things from your perspective, and you only validate the love you give to people as enough.<\/p>\n
Incapacidade de aceitar a rejei\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-near-gate.jpg\")
<\/p>\nWe all get rejected from time to time. Sometimes, the girl or a guy we\u2019re into simply doesn\u2019t love us back<\/a>.<\/p>\n
We get fired from that awesome job we liked so much. Or someone we saw as a potential friend doesn\u2019t show any interest in hanging out with us.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not comfortable \u2013 I won\u2019t lie to you. You can be the most confident person in the world, but something like this will probably mess with your head and give you low self-esteem.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is that rejection sucks. It sucks caring for someone who doesn\u2019t care for you or having the feeling that you\u2019re somewhere you\u2019re clearly not wanted.<\/p>\n
No entanto, quando isto acontece a pessoas com outros estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o, a maior parte delas aceita-o, de uma forma ou de outra. Sentem-se mal durante algum tempo, mas depois aguentam e seguem em frente com as suas vidas.<\/strong><\/p>\n
But not you. You\u2019re practically incapable of taking rejection.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Don\u2019t worry: you have no narcissistic tendencies. It\u2019s not that you can\u2019t believe that someone doesn\u2019t want a God-given you in their life.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s actually completely the opposite. It doesn\u2019t matter much where this rejection comes from \u2013 you always see it as the end of the world.<\/p>\n
The problem is that you take it personally. You can\u2019t grasp the idea that the object of your affection maybe doesn\u2019t want a relationship right now.<\/p>\n
No, it has to be something wrong with you. You\u2019re unlovable and not good enough \u2013 there is no other explanation, right?<\/p>\n
Besides, even if they don\u2019t like you, it doesn’t mean that you\u2019re not worthy. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves, and the same way this person didn\u2019t pick you, someone else will.<\/p>\n
Depend\u00eancia de rela\u00e7\u00f5es<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-sitting-near-water-3.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIt doesn\u2019t matter how much you love the person next to you: you should always remain an individual for yourself. You can be in love with someone, but you can never become their girlfriend or boyfriend only.<\/p>\n
At least, this is how things should be. Sadly, it\u2019s not how you work.<\/p>\n
Em vez disso, sempre que nos aproximamos de um novo rapaz ou rapariga (ou at\u00e9 de um novo amigo), ficamos imediatamente incrivelmente ligados a eles.<\/p>\n
E n\u00e3o \u00e9 s\u00f3 isso: ficamos emocionalmente dependentes dessa pessoa como se o mundo inteiro girasse \u00e0 sua volta.<\/p>\n
In fact, that\u2019s exactly what\u2019s going on: they become the center of your universe. You forget about everything and everyone else and only have eyes for them.<\/p>\n
Isto \u00e9 mais do que paix\u00e3o ou amor<\/a>e muitas vezes transforma-se em obsess\u00e3o. Quando damos por isso, j\u00e1 n\u00e3o conseguimos imaginar a nossa vida sem eles ao nosso lado.<\/strong><\/p>\n
You\u2019re not in this relationship because you want it; you\u2019re here because you need this person the same way you need air to breathe. Of course, once you go your separate ways, you\u2019re completely lost.<\/p>\n
A sua vida n\u00e3o tem sentido e tem dificuldade em voltar aos seus velhos h\u00e1bitos. Porqu\u00ea? Porque deixa de existir fora da sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n
Para al\u00e9m de n\u00e3o ser saud\u00e1vel, tamb\u00e9m d\u00e1 luz verde \u00e0 outra pessoa para o tratar como lhe apetecer.<\/p>\n
Continuamos a mostrar-lhes que n\u00e3o h\u00e1 nada que eles possam fazer para que deixemos de os amar e, mais cedo ou mais tarde, isso acaba por nos prejudicar.<\/p>\n
A necessidade constante de tranquiliza\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-sitting-on-bench-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLet\u2019s be honest: nothing is ever good enough for you. No matter what your loved ones do to prove their love, you won\u2019t believe them.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll always look for clues of their indifference or infidelity. You\u2019ll never be satisfied with the attention and care you\u2019re getting because you\u2019ll never be sure about it.<\/p>\n
Tudo isto pode ser atribu\u00eddo ao estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o do beb\u00e9. Your primary caregivers didn’t meet your needs as an infant, and now you’re the one paying the price.<\/strong><\/p>\n
It\u2019s as though you can\u2019t believe that someone really could love you.<\/strong> They probably have a hidden agenda, so you\u2019re on a constant lookout, expecting them to backstab you.<\/p>\n
This is another consequence of your unhealthy early childhood. Without even being aware of it, you\u2019ve developed some serious trust issues that manifest in all of your relationships.<\/p>\n
O que precisas \u00e9 de tranquilidade. Precisa de um parceiro que passe todo o tempo a dizer-lhe que you\u2019re good enough<\/a>, that you\u2019re the only one for them, and that they love you.<\/p>\n
However, even if you get this, it won\u2019t put an end to your misery. Even in this case, there will be times when you\u2019ll, if nothing else, doubt their honesty.<\/p>\n
Auto-culpa<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-leaning-on-sofa-2.jpg\")
<\/p>\nOutro padr\u00e3o de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente \u00e9 a auto-culpabiliza\u00e7\u00e3o. Quando algo de mau acontece na sua vida, consegue, de alguma forma, assumir-se como o mau da fita.<\/p>\n
Sente-se culpado e envergonhado por n\u00e3o conseguir amor suficiente<\/a>. Sente-se culpado por eles n\u00e3o o tratarem bem e culpa-se por tudo o que est\u00e1 a acontecer nas suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Do you understand how absurd this is? Simply put, if someone broke your heart, you\u2019d end up blaming your heart for being in their way.<\/p>\n
Ver tamb\u00e9m: Apego Ansioso Preocupado: Superar a inseguran\u00e7a<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n
3 Causas n\u00e3o t\u00e3o \u00f3bvias da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansiosa e ambivalente<\/h2>\n
How do you adopt an ambivalent attachment? Do you just wake up one morning and decide it’s time for a somewhat different style of attachment?<\/p>\n
Well, you don’t. Everything going on now is a consequence of your painful childhood experiences. Learn what triggered your ambivalent attachment style, and only then will you be able to cope with it.<\/p>\n
Rela\u00e7\u00f5es de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o quebradas na inf\u00e2ncia<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-outdoor.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDe acordo com a investiga\u00e7\u00e3o sobre a vincula\u00e7\u00e3o, a primeira e mais significativa causa da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente ansiosa nos adultos s\u00e3o as suas experi\u00eancias de inf\u00e2ncia e o desenvolvimento infantil.<\/p>\n
Quando se tem uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o quebrada na inf\u00e2ncia, \u00e9 prov\u00e1vel que, a partir da\u00ed, tudo v\u00e1 por \u00e1gua abaixo.<\/p>\n
De facto, it\u2019s the parenting style your primary caregivers exposed you to and the infant attachment style you had that affect all of your relationships in the future.<\/strong><\/p>\n
De acordo com a psicologia do desenvolvimento, os pais que educam os filhos de forma inconsistente s\u00e3o a causa n\u00famero um de uma vincula\u00e7\u00e3o precoce pouco saud\u00e1vel.<\/strong> O que \u00e9 que isso significa?<\/p>\n
Well, when you were a kid, you never knew what to expect from your first attachment figures \u2013 your parents.<\/p>\n
Consequentemente, isto ajudou-o a tornar-se um adulto inseguro<\/a>e isso teve impacto em todas as suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es adultas. Houve alturas em que os seus principais cuidadores lhe davam todo o amor do mundo.<\/p>\n
However, despite that, they didn\u2019t give you emotional support when you needed it or neglected you at some other point.<\/p>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-on-floor-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nBasically, you spent most of your early years living in fear. You never knew whether your parents would be 100% there for you the next day or if they\u2019d ignore you.<\/p>\n
Assim, your needs were never fully met. I\u2019m not talking about food and shelter here: I\u2019m talking about your emotional needs and mental well-being.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Nunca conseguiu criar uma verdadeira liga\u00e7\u00e3o com os seus prestadores de cuidados. Nunca sentiu que eles estivessem emocionalmente ligados a si em toda a sua extens\u00e3o.<\/p>\n
Tamb\u00e9m nunca se dedicaram totalmente a criar-te. Por isso, continuaste a sentir-te irrelevante.<\/p>\n
They were people you couldn\u2019t rely on, and people you couldn\u2019t trust your life with. Even though you were just a little child, this has stuck with you.<\/p>\n
Also, there is a possibility that you had to be the parent in your story, at least on an emotional level. At the same time, you’ve dealt with enganar os pais<\/a> who didn’t see anything wrong in your upbringing.<\/p>\n
Your caregivers weren\u2019t mature enough to act as healthy attachment figures, and they asked for emotional support from you instead of it being the other way around.<\/p>\n
Ent\u00e3o, aqui estamos n\u00f3s. Apercebem-se de como cada um destes padr\u00f5es de comportamento reflecte o vosso comportamento atual?<\/p>\n
Do you understand that you\u2019ve spent your entire adulthood looking for the missing pieces of your childhood?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Diferentes tipos de abuso<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-leaning-on-fence.jpg\")
<\/p>\nAmbivalent attachment is also quite frequent in victims of abuse. Bear in mind that I\u2019m not only talking about physical abuse here but of all other types of abuse as well, including abuso emocional<\/a>.<\/p>\n
When you are abused as a little child, you can\u2019t grasp the fact that your parents are bad.<\/p>\n
Estas pessoas s\u00e3o a sua \u00fanica base segura neste mundo duro e ama-as com todo o seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o, apesar de serem violentas ou de lhe fazerem mal.<\/p>\n
Ironically, it becomes easier for you to blame yourself for this situation. Besides, they kept convincing you that you were the bad one and that you\u2019re guilty of this abuse.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Bem, ser\u00e1 assim t\u00e3o dif\u00edcil acreditar neles?<\/strong> Eles manipulado<\/a> para que lhes tirem as culpas do peito.<\/p>\n
When someone (especially if that someone is your parent) keeps telling you that you\u2019re not worthy and good for nothing, you\u2019ll adopt this opinion after a while.<\/p>\n
Do you see where I\u2019m going? Now that you\u2019re a mature person, you still stick to these beliefs.<\/p>\n
Continua a pensar que n\u00e3o tem valor suficiente e continua a ter s\u00e9rios problemas de auto-culpa. Bem, os seus prestadores de cuidados s\u00e3o respons\u00e1veis por se sentir assim.<\/p>\n
Separa\u00e7\u00e3o dos pais<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-near-door.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIs it worse to have a parent who is physically present but neglects their child’s needs or one who vanishes from your life for good? Well, it\u2019s a dead heat.<\/p>\n
Mas o que \u00e9 certo \u00e9 que estas duas coisas deixam consequ\u00eancias permanentes nos seus comportamentos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o e sa\u00fade mental<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Both of these types of parents disregard an infant’s needs from early childhood, one way or another.<\/p>\n
Por conseguinte, uma das causas de um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansioso e inseguro pode ser a separa\u00e7\u00e3o precoce dos pais.<\/p>\n
Se as pessoas que te trouxeram a este mundo te abandonaram, o que podes esperar dos outros?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Se o apunhalaram pelas costas e o deixaram em paz, porque \u00e9 que o seu parceiro rom\u00e2ntico se comportaria de forma diferente?<\/strong><\/p>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-touching-her-hair.jpg\")
<\/p>\nYou might not be aware of it, but this is the logic behind your patterns of attachment. Your separation from your caregivers is probably the most painful traumatic experience you\u2019ve had to go through.<\/p>\n
So, it\u2019s perfectly natural that you devoted the rest of your life to not allowing it to happen again.<\/p>\n
You think you couldn\u2019t stand anyone you love walk away from you ever again, so you\u2019re doing everything in your power not to let them go.<\/p>\n
Even though this is reasonable, it\u2019s anything but healthy. You see, you can\u2019t glue yourself to people.<\/p>\n
Besides, do you really want someone to stick around just because you\u2019re forcing them to stay? Or would you want them to stay with you because there is nowhere they would rather be?<\/p>\n
I won\u2019t lie to you: people will come and go. And the harsh truth is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.<\/p>\n
No entanto, o que pode influenciar \u00e9 a sua rea\u00e7\u00e3o a isso. Pode continuar a ver cada partida como o fim do mundo, ou pode aceit\u00e1-la como parte da vida.<\/p>\n
5 maneiras revolucion\u00e1rias de lidar com um estilo de liga\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente<\/h2>\n
Felizmente para si, os estilos de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o n\u00e3o s\u00e3o imut\u00e1veis. Mudar todo o seu sistema de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 dif\u00edcil, mas pode ser feito.<\/p>\n
No entanto, antes de estar preparado para quaisquer mudan\u00e7as cruciais, tem de aprender a lidar com o estilo que j\u00e1 tem.<\/p>\n
Praticar a aten\u00e7\u00e3o plena<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-meditating.jpg\")
<\/p>\nYou can\u2019t control your reactions if you\u2019re not even aware of them. In this case, you act impulsively, and you often find yourself in a situation where you can\u2019t explain your behavior.<\/p>\n
Bem, \u00e9 por isso que deve praticar a aten\u00e7\u00e3o plena<\/a>: uma forma de medita\u00e7\u00e3o que o ajuda a tomar plena consci\u00eancia de si pr\u00f3prio, dos seus sentidos e dos seus sentimentos em qualquer momento.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Basically, this means listening to yourself and your inner voices. It means paying attention to your deepest thoughts and feelings, without running away from them just because you don\u2019t like them.<\/p>\n
Esta \u00e9 a \u00fanica forma de mergulhar profundamente na sua alma e, eventualmente, mudar os seus padr\u00f5es de comportamento.<\/p>\n
Dar sentido ao passado<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-sitting-on-rock-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nDurante anos, continuou a fingir que os seus traumas de inf\u00e2ncia nunca existiram. Era mais f\u00e1cil para si n\u00e3o enfrentar o inferno a que mal tinha sobrevivido.<\/p>\n
Nevertheless, I hate to break it to you, but every piece of attachment research will tell you that you\u2019ll have to make sense of the past.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll have to look it straight in the eyes and show it that you\u2019re no longer afraid.<\/strong><\/p>\n
There is no point in running away from your demons because they\u2019re about to get you. Also, there is no point in fixing the consequences if you haven\u2019t tackled the source first.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u00c9 exatamente isso que deve fazer: descobrir o que causou o desenvolvimento deste estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o. O que o magoou tanto na sua inf\u00e2ncia que ainda o afecta t\u00e3o gravemente?<\/p>\n
I know that admitting your parents\u2019 mistakes is difficult. No matter what they did to you, you still idealize them and see them as better than they are.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong: I\u2019m not advising you to confront them \u2013 especially if you have no relationship whatsoever. I\u2019m begging you to confront your past hurts they\u2019ve caused.<\/p>\n
Confrontar o mi\u00fado chor\u00e3o que j\u00e1 foi. Diga-lhe que tudo vai ficar bem e cure o seu pequeno cora\u00e7\u00e3o partido.<\/p>\n
Accept the fact that you didn\u2019t have the happiest childhood and that there was nothing you could have done about it, and the fact that you can\u2019t erase your past and that there is absolutely no point in running away from it.<\/p>\n
Podes aprender com ele. Pode negar-lhe o acesso ao seu presente e futuro.<\/p>\n
Reconhecer os seus est\u00edmulos<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-standing-on-the-bridge.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIt\u2019s crucial to know yourself to the core. The part of this is self-awareness: a process in which you analyze your entire personality and come to terms with the person you really are.<\/p>\n
Apesar de a maioria das pessoas com vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ambivalente partilharem a maior parte dos sintomas do seu estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o, cada um reage de forma diferente em situa\u00e7\u00f5es diferentes. Porqu\u00ea? Porque nem toda a gente tem o mesmo gatilho.<\/p>\n
Well, if you plan on changing your behavior, it\u2019s finally time for you to recognize your triggers.<\/p>\n
O que \u00e9 que o deixa mais inseguro? O que \u00e9 que o assusta? O que \u00e9 que desperta dentro de si o vulc\u00e3o chamado estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o inseguro e ansioso?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Once you get all of these answers, you\u2019ll stay away from potentially dangerous situations.<\/p>\n
Not only that: you’ll also learn to recognize these risky moments. You\u2019ll learn how to bring yourself back to reality every time you start feeling that the symptoms of your attachment style are taking control over you.<\/p>\n
Rela\u00e7\u00f5es saud\u00e1veis com um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o seguro<\/h2>\n
![\"homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/couple-standing-on-dock.jpg\")
<\/p>\nEven though the entire self-healing process always relies on one person and one person alone \u2013 yourself, your choice of relationship partners plays a significant role in coping with your attachment style as well.<\/p>\n
\u00c9 aqui que deve encontrar a sua base segura e o seu santu\u00e1rio.<\/p>\n
O maior de todos os desastres seria escolher algu\u00e9m com um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitante<\/a> ou algu\u00e9m que lide com os mesmos problemas de liga\u00e7\u00e3o que tu.<\/p>\n
Just imagine how toxic that relationship would be if you\u2019re both insecure and have abandonment and trust issues.<\/p>\n
While I\u2019m telling you to discriminate against those similar to you, a melhor escolha para si seria algu\u00e9m com um estilo de liga\u00e7\u00e3o seguro.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Esta \u00e9 a pessoa que o pode guiar no processo de regula\u00e7\u00e3o das suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es e da sua sa\u00fade mental. <\/strong>Aquele em quem se pode apoiar e que o ajudar\u00e1 a curar todos os seus traumas.<\/p>\n
A \u00fanica pessoa que acolher\u00e1 abertamente todos os seus problemas e que lhe dar\u00e1 a seguran\u00e7a do apego que tanto deseja.<\/p>\n
Quando uma pessoa \u00e9 criada num estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o seguro, ela acreditar no amor<\/a>. They trust people and are consequently trustworthy. They know all about consistency and loyalty, and that\u2019s exactly what you need.<\/p>\n
Psicoterapia<\/h2>\n
![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/woman-talking-to-therapist-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLembre-se: n\u00e3o \u00e9 vergonha nenhuma pedir ajuda.<\/p>\n
- estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o medroso\/inseguro-evitante\/desorganizado<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n