![\"uma](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-woman-and-a-man-with-a-relationship-problem.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\"A expetativa \u00e9 a raiz de todas as m\u00e1goas.\" W. Shakespeare <\/i><\/p>\n
Se tiv\u00e9ssemos de enumerar as causas do fim de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o, come\u00e7ar\u00edamos com a trai\u00e7\u00e3o, a manipula\u00e7\u00e3o, a desonestidade e, no pior dos casos, o abuso.<\/p>\n
Tudo isso \u00e9 verdade. Todas estas s\u00e3o, de certa forma, as raz\u00f5es mais cru\u00e9is e dolorosas para terminar uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o. A mais silenciosa, aquela que nunca pensar\u00edamos ser a \u00fanica respons\u00e1vel pelo fim de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o, \u00e9 a das expectativas n\u00e3o satisfeitas.<\/p>\n
They don’t come suddenly. They build themselves up over the course of time. One after the other and every time our significant other fails to meet our expectations, it adds to our disappointments in him. It accumulates frustration that is bound to burst at any given moment.<\/p>\n
When that happens, it’s already too late.<\/p>\n
Think about it. If we are being honest with ourselves, we all have certain predictions and beliefs of how our partner will behave in a relationship. That expectation is unrealistic because we don’t communicate it to them.<\/p>\n
I didn’t come to this conclusion just like that. If it was just my common thinking, I would put lack of communication, money issues, and constant fights as the top three reasons, because I observe my environment and the people around me who are getting out of long-term relationships and even getting divorced list those three main reasons.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Mas quando tive a oportunidade de falar profundamente sobre o tema com eles, apercebi-me de que todos t\u00eam um fator comum<\/b>\u2014<\/b>expectativas n\u00e3o satisfeitas. Apercebi-me que um falta de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a> combinada com expectativas n\u00e3o satisfeitas \u00e9 o que mata a maioria das rela\u00e7\u00f5es. <\/b><\/p>\n Uma das minhas amigas casadas estava a falar-me dos seus problemas conjugais. Ela estava a contar-me como tinha uma imagem completamente diferente na sua cabe\u00e7a de como tudo deveria ser. Ela inventou na sua cabe\u00e7a um reino harmonioso onde n\u00e3o havia problemas.<\/p>\n She expected certain things from her husband. She wanted him to help her around the house, she wanted him to help her more with their children, she wanted for him to make lunch on his days off so she didn\u2019t always have to and there were millions of other small things like that that she wanted.<\/p>\n Knowing her well, as we have been friends for half of our lives, I just asked if she ever asked him for help. And I knew that the answer was, \u201cNo\u201d before she even told me. <\/i><\/p>\n She said she thought that he should know these things without any need for her to remind him. She just went on and on, with, \u201cThey are obvious,\u201d \u201cThat is some basic stuff everyone should know, \u201cHe should know that,\u201d \u201cHe is not stupid,\u201d and, \u201cHe knows I need help.\u201d<\/p>\n Eu ouvi-a. Depois recordei-lhe a nossa discuss\u00e3o de h\u00e1 muito, muito tempo. Ela ficou chateada comigo porque achava que eu devia ter feito algumas coisas em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a ela de forma diferente e manteve-se em sil\u00eancio sobre isso at\u00e9 ser tarde demais e, nessa altura, j\u00e1 est\u00e1vamos a discutir \u00e0 grande.<\/p>\n I clearly remember saying, \u201cI can’t read your mind, speak up.\u201d That’s where it all calmed down.<\/p>\n O que o meu amigo e a maioria de n\u00f3s se esquecem de perceber \u00e9 que ningu\u00e9m pode ler a nossa mente, que se queremos algo de algu\u00e9m, devemos pedir.<\/b><\/p>\n Todos n\u00f3s temos percep\u00e7\u00f5es diferentes de como as coisas devem ser, especialmente entre homens e mulheres. Eles percebem as coisas de forma diferente. V\u00eaem as coisas de forma diferente. Somos indiv\u00edduos completamente diferentes.<\/b><\/p>\n When you don’t speak up, you sweep your problems under the rug. You fail to communicate and you just keep on expecting and getting disappointed because things don\u2019t meet your expectations. It’s like an never-ending circle which leads to heartache and frustration.<\/p>\n Ao n\u00e3o comunicarmos o que queremos que o nosso parceiro fa\u00e7a, criamos um grande problema a partir do nada, sem sequer nos apercebermos disso. Esse problema torna-se cada vez maior com o tempo e arrasta consigo todo o tipo de outros problemas e quest\u00f5es.<\/p>\n A lot of people, like my friend, and even me, to be honest, just learned this through other people’s examples and fail to realize that unmet expectations can be so devastating.<\/p>\n It’s not fair to expect for your partner to behave the way you want him to, just as it’s not fair for him to assume you will live up to his expectations.<\/p>\n Another funny story about great expectations involves my other friend. She is about to get married and she is attending some premarital seminars with her fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n Num dos semin\u00e1rios, um formador pediu-lhes que fizessem uma lista de todas as coisas que esperam do seu parceiro depois de casados.<\/p>\n![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-loving-couple-drinks-coffee-and-talks-seriously.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"a](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/the-woman-writes-something-and-the-man-laughs.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-portrait-of-a-beautiful-thinking-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-man-and-a-woman-sit-at-the-bar-drinking-coffee-and-talking-seriously.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/a-loving-couple-sitting-on-the-floor-of-the-room-and-talking.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"Expectativas](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Unmet-Expectations-Are-The-Most-Common-Cause-Of-Broken-Relationships-Pinterest.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"