{"id":13985,"date":"2018-02-07T09:34:25","date_gmt":"2018-02-07T09:34:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=13985"},"modified":"2022-07-05T09:46:38","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T09:46:38","slug":"o-tipo-da-carta-acreditava-num","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/o-tipo-da-carta-acreditava-num\/","title":{"rendered":"Uma carta para o homem que eu acreditava ser \"o tal\""},"content":{"rendered":"

Apaixonei-me por ti de forma t\u00e3o inocente. Eras o meu melhor amigo, por quem me apaixonei rapidamente, conhecendo a tua personalidade enigm\u00e1tica e angustiada. \u00c9ramos jovens, sim, mas eu acreditava de todo o cora\u00e7\u00e3o que ir\u00edamos resistir aos testes do tempo. Crescemos juntos; partilh\u00e1mos amor, risos, l\u00e1grimas, dificuldades e sa\u00edmos sempre vitoriosos. Ent\u00e3o o que \u00e9 que correu mal?<\/p>\n

I poured myself into you. Now, as a free woman, I see just how you drained me\u2014how I lost myself to you in my inept attempts to save you, to help you. You were doomed from the start. You became my living hell and abused my love time and time again, somehow always shifting the blame or making yourself the victim.<\/p>\n

Not\u00edcia de \u00faltima hora! \u00c9s uma pessoa terr\u00edvel.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

How many times did I have to listen to you, with your head in your hands, moan about how you were this awful, self destructive individual. About how I deserved better and how you ruin everything you touch. How ludicrous to think how those times were always met with me comforting you, telling you you weren\u2019t a monster, that it\u2019s fine and that I\u2019ll help you through it. How often did I unknowingly put my own mental health aside to assist you with yours? Too many times is the answer. You pulled the same boring, monotonous crap when I called you out on your behaviour, when I stood there and said your selfish behaviour wasn\u2019t right. You\u2019d fight me on it, but being the feisty girl I am, I would not back down. Not at least until you played the same trick, bowing your head and forcing out tears, dry sobs about how you hated been called selfish.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 a pessoa mais ego\u00edsta e egoc\u00eantrica que alguma vez conheci.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Our last year together was the hardest time of my life. We moved in together and pretty soon, I became pregnant. It was unplanned but I was thrilled. You took some time coming round to the idea, although you will deny that profusely now. That\u2019s okay though. I understood as it was a bit of a shock. Over time though, I needed your support then. I needed you to be there for me, to help me as we lived in a home I was completely nervous about being in alone. That was too much for me to ask of you. You insisted ainda sai e tem uma vida social.<\/strong> Voltava do trabalho para casa, sozinha, gr\u00e1vida e com medo. Mas isso nunca foi suficiente para mudar os teus h\u00e1bitos. Continuavas a chegar a uma hora rid\u00edcula, a vomitar no lava-loi\u00e7a da cozinha, sabendo perfeitamente que eu tinha de ir trabalhar de manh\u00e3 cedo.<\/p>\n

Na altura devia ter visto os sinais.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Amadureceu \u00e0 medida que eu crescia, mas nunca o suficiente para me dar a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o de seguran\u00e7a a que uma mulher gr\u00e1vida tem direito por parte do seu companheiro. Depois mud\u00e1mo-nos para uma casa nova e encantadora, perto da fam\u00edlia, perfeita para criar uma crian\u00e7a juntos, como uma pequena unidade feliz. Era suposto ser o in\u00edcio de uma vida incr\u00edvel e feliz. A nossa linda filha chegou e, durante duas semanas, tudo foi perfeito. Parec\u00edamos felizes, como qualquer novo pai. Um beb\u00e9 saud\u00e1vel, lindo e descontra\u00eddo s\u00f3 podia aproximar um casal t\u00e3o forte.<\/p>\n

Como eu estava errado, completamente e totalmente errado.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

Como um veado apanhado pelos far\u00f3is, congelou. Evitava chegar a casa do trabalho a uma hora razo\u00e1vel, alegando constantemente que n\u00e3o tinha trocos para os autocarros. Continuava a insistir em sair \u00e0 noite algumas vezes por semana, apesar de trabalhar seis dias e de ter muito pouco tempo com a sua filha. Onde estava o meu tempo? Quando \u00e9 que tive a minha liberdade? Cada momento que tirava, tirava-me a mim. Eu n\u00e3o tinha outra hip\u00f3tese sen\u00e3o fazer tudo, lutar sozinha.<\/p>\n

Perdi-me<\/a> A depress\u00e3o p\u00f3s-natal instalou-se. Fiquei sozinha com o meu filhinho perfeito a maior parte do tempo, enquanto tu fazias tudo e mais alguma coisa para fugir \u00e0 responsabilidade de ser pai. Sentei-me contigo nas raras ocasi\u00f5es em que estavas por perto e implorei-te, supliquei-te. Disse-te que me sentia como um pai solteiro, que estava a lutar para lidar com a situa\u00e7\u00e3o e que precisava desesperadamente que estivesses ao meu lado. Chorei tantas vezes o meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o em desespero, pedindo a tua ajuda. A resposta que obtive? \u201cI\u2019m going to bed. I need time to process this\u201d<\/strong>. Never have someone\u2019s words nor actions cut so deep into my chest as those did then. How irrelevant had I become to you at this point that you could just so easily dismiss me and ignore the very real reality that I was fading away? Then you, my best friend and partner of several years, you betrayed me further.<\/p>\n

Tra\u00edste-me da pior maneira poss\u00edvel.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

You fell in lust with someone else. You became the clich\u00e9d villain in my story and confessed attraction to your work colleague, one of the very colleagues you\u2019d introduced me to, who had met our child and who I\u2019d befriended. You met up with her behind my back to discuss those \u201cFeelings\u201d on a day that should have been dedicated to myself and your daughter. And later that day, you dropped the bomb shell.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019m in love with you anymore\u201d. That\u2019s right, you didn\u2019t even have the balls to tell me there was someone else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not until I forced the truth from your lips. That was when it began to unravel. Because this was not the first time you\u2019d done this to me. A year and a half prior, the same thing occurred. You\u2019d nearly made out with another work colleague on a night out. And that time had killed me, as well as any self-esteem I\u2019d once possessed. Now you were trying to strip me of it again. Despite the immense pain and anxiety you were causing on an hourly basis, we agreed to try and work through our \u201cissues\u201d on the agreement that you were to stop contact with said colleague until we knew where we were. You see, I couldn\u2019t bring myself to instruct you to never speak to her again as I understood how much you\u2019d miss that friendship, how it would affect the circle of work friends you had. How much of a complete and utter moron could I be? Because you didn\u2019t stick to the agreement. You messaged her. But not only did messaging her not satisfy you, no, you had to message her the gooiest, romantic pile of rubbish I sadly had the fortune of landing my eyes upon.<\/p>\n

Mesmo assim, depois da m\u00e1goa, da trai\u00e7\u00e3o e da agonia total das tuas ac\u00e7\u00f5es, insisti em dar-te uma oportunidade de fazeres as coisas bem.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

\"De<\/p>\n

And you took that chance, making promises you had no intention to keep. You dragged my suffering on for weeks which turned into months. You pulled the same crap again\u2014of never been home on time, never taking responsibility for your child. On your ONLY day off, you would disappear for a couple of hours or more and refuse to ever take your child with you. You refused me the time away from parenting that you felt you were so entitled to give yourself in great generous amounts.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: <\/strong>Antes de lhe dares outra oportunidade, l\u00ea isto<\/a><\/p>\n

Chegou ao fim no momento em que decidiste ficar na rua depois da meia-noite sem me dar qualquer indica\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Mas teve coragem de o fazer? Claro que n\u00e3o. Tentaste todos os truques poss\u00edveis para me afastares, para que fosse eu a acabar com tudo. N\u00e3o foi uma t\u00e9cnica subtil e eu recusei-me a dar-te a sa\u00edda mais f\u00e1cil. Eras sempre tu que empurravas a culpa, que evitavas a responsabilidade. Por isso, por uma vez na tua vida miser\u00e1vel, terias de o fazer. O cobarde que tu \u00e9s demorou duas semanas antes de finalmente morder a bala.<\/p>\n

Upon our separation, I asked you for one thing. I asked that you respect me enough to not go running into the arms of the very woman you emotionally cheated with\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Two weeks later, you confessed you\u2019d arranged a date with her. After nine years together, after I\u2019d brought our child into this world, that\u2019s the level of respect you had for me? I regret to say, even then, with all the anger, hurt and betrayal rushing through my body, I still didn\u2019t see you for exactly who you are. After all the arguments, breakdowns and tears, you remained stony and cold in your level of respect for me. You played sneaky, devious, trying to make out that I was the cheat by incorrectly wording your stories. You tried to play the victim and say that I had moved on quickly by seeking physical validation with someone else. It really doesn\u2019t take a genius to understand that that\u2019s what my intentions were with such interactions. You used my role as primary parent as a weapon, accusing me of doing just that when really it was about taking care of myself.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right, I put myself first and you tried to make it about you.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Mostrou-se surpreendido quando lhe manifestei a minha preocupa\u00e7\u00e3o por ter de tomar conta da nossa filha sozinho durante um per\u00edodo de tempo prolongado. Como \u00e9 que eu podia confiar na sua capacidade de lidar com a situa\u00e7\u00e3o quando n\u00e3o me tinha dado provas disso desde que ela nasceu? Depois, tentou acusar-me de n\u00e3o lhe dar essa oportunidade. Quantas vezes implorei e chorei pela tua ajuda, para que agisses como um pai e me ajudasses?<\/p>\n

And even after all this, I hadn\u2019t hit rock bottom. Not yet.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

I reached the lowest point barely days ago. We had gotten to a point over the span of a couple of weeks where we were talking like two decent human beings. We were becoming friendly again, reminding me of the friendship we used to have and that on lonely nights I craved so badly. You lulled me into a blissful, false sense of security, where I\u2019d got my friend back\u2014the best friend I missed and whose absence had hit me just as hard as the loss of a long-term lover. Then the bomb hit. You had arranged to go on a double date with the girl you cheated on me and left me for with our joint best friend. Not even 4 months after our separation. And, once again showing your absolute cowardice, it wasn\u2019t even from your lips I learned this from.<\/p>\n

I have spent the last 2 days crying like I\u2019ve never cried before. And you saw those tears. You saw the rawness of my face, the redness in my eyes as I tried desperately not to completely lose myself to the pain.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t enough for you to completely ruin my world, to show a complete lack of remorse and respect for me, to belittle my feelings so harshly. No, you had to introduce your new foolish girlfriend into our joint friendship group so soon, without a single thought thrown my way.<\/p>\n

Numa \u00fanica a\u00e7\u00e3o egoc\u00eantrica, conseguiu isolar-me, violar o meu espa\u00e7o e quebrar-me completamente mais do que alguma vez o fez.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Do I think it was done maliciously? No. But that makes it worse. I have such little space left in your life, in your thoughts that my emotions, still very fraught from your previous assaults, meant so little to you. I didn\u2019t once cross your mind while you made such nefarious plans. I spent nine years of my life loving you and I\u2019ve somehow become that irrelevant to you.<\/p>\n

Passei os \u00faltimos dias em l\u00e1grimas, mas tamb\u00e9m preso na raiva, no \u00f3dio. A tua amizade anterior parece uma nova trai\u00e7\u00e3o. Voltaste a querer o melhor de mim. Querias o melhor de tudo: a rapariga que escolheste em vez da tua fam\u00edlia e o teu melhor amigo de volta. N\u00e3o mereces ser feliz<\/a>. N\u00e3o mereces uma vida f\u00e1cil. Nunca merecer\u00e1s a parte de mim que um dia te dei t\u00e3o f\u00e1cil e prontamente.<\/p>\n

Hoje, tive a minha epifania. A mesma constata\u00e7\u00e3o que me tinha sido dita v\u00e1rias centenas de vezes desde a nossa separa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o mereces o meu \u00f3dio<\/a>. I realised that I can voice my opinions, tell you about the harm you constantly keep inflicting upon me. I can scream and shout and cuss until I\u2019m blue in the face, until there are no more tears left to cry. I can berate you. I can breakdown before you as I have done numerous times before. I can plead and I can beg. I can continue to waste my precious energy on the anger and hatred I feel towards you and the very girl I considered a friend.<\/p>\n

Mas qual \u00e9 o objetivo?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You will not listen. You will not change. You will not care. You will continue to be the \u201cwoe is me\u201d guy. You will continue to be selfish, self-centred and cruel. You will not stop being the person I now know you to be. You will still be the narcissistic, cowardly little boy and nothing I say will change that. You are not worth the energy it takes to be angry. I\u2019m only keeping myself down as I hold onto that grief-induced fury.<\/p>\n

Eras a causa da minha ang\u00fastia. Agora n\u00e3o \u00e9s nada. \u00c9s irrelevante e vou continuar a lembrar-me disso para o resto da minha vida, se for preciso.<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00e3o estou nem de perto nem de longe resolvido, nem creio que o venha a estar durante muito tempo. O que eu estou, no entanto, \u00e9 quebrado e estou finalmente a reconhecer isso. Continuaste a aumentar os danos, a acrescentar-me mais fendas at\u00e9 que finalmente me despedacei. Agora, posso recompor-me<\/a>. I will not be the same and nor do I desire to be. I will create a beautiful mosaic from the remnants of who I once was as I design a better, stronger me. I will focus on loving me and learning about myself. I will discover who I am as an individual and I will grow stronger with each passing day that I refuse to allow the anger and resentment to rule me. I will become the best version of myself and I will work hard to achieve that. And along the way, you get no part of the creation. You do not have the privilege to know the new me, to bask in my light or to share in my friendships. You have destroyed any chance of that happening. You will always play a part in my life, as my daughter\u2019s father, but your role to me personally will be miniscule.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o me vou rir da tua desgra\u00e7a quando o karma te visitar, nem me vou importar.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

From this moment forth, you are nothing more than my perfect child\u2019s biological father and that is all you will ever be.<\/p>\n

The road ahead for me will be tough and that is terrifying but also exciting. I will have down days; I will have up days. There will be times where I want to cry my eyes out, whether that be from the stresses of single parenting, loneliness or heartache. But I will remember at those times of hardship that I escaped\u2014that I had a lucky escape and that separation really gives you clarity to the hell you were submitting yourself to.<\/p>\n

Sou um mosaico em forma\u00e7\u00e3o. Serei a vers\u00e3o mais bela e vibrante de mim pr\u00f3pria, feita a partir dos peda\u00e7os da minha antiga pessoa. Serei mais s\u00e1bio. Serei mais inteligente e, acima de tudo, serei mais feliz. H\u00e1 meses que as pessoas me dizem a mesma coisa: para n\u00e3o deixar que a amargura e a raiva me dominem. Pode ter-me sido repetido milhares de vezes, mas at\u00e9 que eu finalmente o percebesse, a tarefa era imposs\u00edvel. Vou viver cada dia para mim e para a minha filha de 1 ano. Respeitar-me-ei. Vou cuidar melhor de mim. Aprenderei a amar-me a mim pr\u00f3prio<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

por Katie Aspinall <\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I fell in love with you so innocently. You were my best friend who I quickly fell for, knowing your enigmatic, angsty personality. We were young, yes, but I wholeheartedly believed we would withstand the tests of time. We grew together; we shared love, laughter, tears, hardships and we always came out on top. So…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":13992,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29653],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-letters"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29653,"label":"letters"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/sweet-ice-cream-photography-408541.jpg",800,528,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Martha Sullivan","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/martha-sullivan\/"},"comment_info":2,"category_info":[{"term_id":29653,"name":"letters","slug":"letters","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29653,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Regardless if you're looking for moving on, romantic, emotional, or open letters on various topics, you can be sure that you'll find it all here. ","parent":29651,"count":207,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29653,"category_count":207,"category_description":"Regardless if you're looking for moving on, romantic, emotional, or open letters on various topics, you can be sure that you'll find it all here. ","cat_name":"letters","category_nicename":"letters","category_parent":29651}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/41"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13985"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13985\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}