Todas estas perguntas s\u00e3o v\u00e1lidas. Mas esqueceu-se de perguntar a si pr\u00f3prio a mais importante:<\/p>\n
O que \u00e9 que seria melhor para a minha sa\u00fade mental? Como \u00e9 que as minhas decis\u00f5es em rela\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0 minha ex-mulher ter\u00e3o impacto noutras \u00e1reas da minha vida? Como \u00e9 que eu defino limites saud\u00e1veis<\/a>?<\/em><\/p>\n Encontrar\u00e1 as respostas a todas estas perguntas nos par\u00e1grafos seguintes.<\/p>\n Quer saber se tem limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher? Confira os 13 comportamentos t\u00f3xicos abaixo para ser claro:<\/p>\n O destrui\u00e7\u00e3o do div\u00f3rcio<\/a> is real. One partner usually blames the other for the problems that led to it. But, addressing the issue isn’t the same as constant fighting.<\/p>\n When you want to solve the problem, you don’t care about being right. You only want peace in the marriage again.<\/strong><\/p>\n But, if you argue only for the sake of arguing, that’s something you need to fix.<\/p>\n Porqu\u00ea? Por duas raz\u00f5es:<\/p>\n 1. Whatever issues made you separate don’t even matter now. You already made up your mind that o div\u00f3rcio era a vossa \u00fanica op\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/a><\/p>\n 2. Since you aren’t together anymore, as guilty as the other person is, you can’t play the blame game anymore. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is anymore. What’s done is done.<\/em><\/p>\n Do you meddle with your ex-wife’s new partner or vice versa?<\/em><\/p>\n If so, let me remind you that you decided to end things. You signed the divorce papers. You don’t owe each other any explanations anymore.<\/p>\n I know it’s hard to ignore your spouse while you\u2019re separated<\/a> e de o ver com outra pessoa, mas ambos fizeram a vossa escolha de se separarem.<\/strong><\/p>\n Of course, it’s going to hurt, but that doesn’t mean that you have any right to openly complain about it.<\/p>\n Suffer in silence… until it doesn’t hurt anymore. Trust me, acts of jealousy aren’t good for either of you.<\/p>\n Instead of getting angry, try finding a new girlfriend yourself. But, make sure that it\u2019s not an rela\u00e7\u00e3o de ricochete pouco saud\u00e1vel<\/a>. Devias gostar dela por ELA.<\/p>\n Se der demasiado espa\u00e7o \u00e0 sua ex-mulher na sua cabe\u00e7a, as coisas v\u00e3o acabar por ficar feias.<\/p>\n You need to convince yourself that she’s in your past now. Learn to appreciate the memories without letting them control you.<\/p>\n If you focus on what you had with her, you’ll never allow yourself to see someone else as an ideal new girlfriend.<\/strong><\/p>\n O seu casamento acabou<\/a>por isso, porque n\u00e3o dar um nova rela\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a> uma hip\u00f3tese?<\/strong><\/p>\n Sabe quanto tempo pode perder se continuar a agarrar-se a ela?<\/em><\/p>\n What if your ideal person is right under your nose, but you can’t see them because you’re stuck somewhere you no longer belong?<\/p>\n Pensem nisto durante algum tempo.<\/p>\n Well, not really… but constant chatting isn’t going to help either!<\/p>\n Como \u00e9 que se espera seguir em frente<\/a> da sua ex-mulher, se est\u00e3o sempre a falar um com o outro?<\/em><\/p>\n Quanto mais falarem, mais dif\u00edcil ser\u00e1 para voc\u00eas encontrarem outra pessoa. Podem ter-se divorciado por uma boa raz\u00e3o, mas (presumo eu) h\u00e1 provavelmente anos cheios de amor atr\u00e1s de voc\u00eas.<\/p>\n No matter how much they hurt you, it\u2019s not easy to forget someone you’ve lived with for so long.<\/p>\n Fa\u00e7a um favor ao seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o e deixe de falar com eles mais do que deve. Ligue-lhes apenas se for REALMENTE necess\u00e1rio, mas, caso contr\u00e1rio, afaste-se.<\/strong><\/p>\n Por vezes, pode procurar inconscientemente raz\u00f5es v\u00e1lidas para os contactar (o que \u00e9 um sinal de liga\u00e7\u00e3o pouco saud\u00e1vel<\/a>!), por isso aconselho-o a prestar aten\u00e7\u00e3o a esse facto.<\/p>\n Every time you feel tempted, ask yourself: ”But do I need to do this? Can’t I solve this on my own?”<\/p>\n Acredita em mim, quanto mais longe estiverem de ti, mais depressa te curar\u00e1s.<\/p>\n Your ex-wife has been with you through thick and thin. Understandably, she’s the first person you’d like to call in times of need.<\/p>\n No entanto, AGIR de acordo com esse desejo \u00e9 uma coisa completamente diferente.<\/p>\n If you keep reaching out to her, you won’t ever get her out of your head. You need to learn how to n\u00e3o se aproximar dela<\/a> e depender de outras pessoas.<\/p>\n When someone helps you deal with a problem, you get attached to them. It’s only natural. So, you can imagine what a problem that is when your EX-WIFE is in the picture.<\/p>\n No matter how tempting it is to call her, solve your issue on your own. It’s not fair to drag her into your world again.<\/strong><\/p>\n She’ll probably be glad to help you, and then you’ll create a never-ending cycle of a rela\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00f3xica.<\/a><\/p>\n Sim, isso seria t\u00f3xico. Se achas que ser assim t\u00e3o pr\u00f3ximo da tua ex-mulher \u00e9 normal e giro, pensa outra vez.<\/em><\/p>\n Chatting with your ex-wife is bad enough, but if your conversations revolve around your past, that’s a recipe for disaster!<\/p>\n Se, por alguma raz\u00e3o, tiverem de se manter em contacto, optem por temas mais leves. Conversa fiada, uma ou duas piadas, ou simplesmente tratar dos assuntos que t\u00eam de resolver em conjunto.<\/p>\n The shorter the visits, the better because there’s no need to stir up memories of past happiness.<\/strong><\/p>\n If you keep reminding yourselves of how good it was, it’s only going to be harder to deixar ir.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Treating them as a stranger is even more awkward if you’ve ended on good terms, but that’s precisely why you have to be careful.<\/p>\n You divorced for a reason. In your eyes, it was obviously unforgivable. Don’t let love blind you.<\/p>\n Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you.<\/em><\/p>\n I know that’s the biggest lesson I learned, and I hope it’ll help you, too!<\/p>\n To you, sex might seem harmless and fun, but if you’re doing it with your ex-wife, it’s anything BUT.<\/p>\n This is someone you used to live with, someone you genuinely loved. It’s impossible to just turn your emotions off.<\/strong><\/p>\n If anything, they can only become stronger. When you’re already emotionally attached to someone, physical intimacy brings you closer together.<\/p>\n Don’t play this game. If you want to be with her, you shouldn’t have signed the papers in the first place. Satisfy your sexual desire elsewhere…unless this isn’t about sexual desire at all…<\/p>\n Seja honesto consigo pr\u00f3prio sobre o que quer. S\u00f3 ent\u00e3o ser\u00e1 capaz de fazer algo a esse respeito.<\/em><\/p>\n Ent\u00e3o, deixa-me ver se percebi bem. Decidiram divorciar-se um do outro, mas continuam a agir como marido e mulher?<\/p>\n Esta \u00e9 a defini\u00e7\u00e3o de limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher.<\/p>\n If you both agreed on separation, you can’t have the same demands as when you were together.<\/strong><\/p>\n Before, you were two individuals involved together. You both had wants and needs the other person had to take into consideration. That’s what partnership is all about.<\/p>\n O que tens de perceber \u00e9 que isto j\u00e1 n\u00e3o \u00e9 uma parceria. Agir como se fosse \u00e9 uma carater\u00edstica t\u00f3xica<\/a> que precisa de trabalhar.<\/p>\n Pode ter-se divorciado legalmente da sua ex-mulher, mas ainda precisa de trabalhar na separa\u00e7\u00e3o mental.<\/em><\/p>\n It can’t get worse than this. If you are so hung up on your ex-wife (or vice versa) that you use the court to stay close to them, you really need to do some soul searching.<\/em><\/p>\n This isn’t only about you. You are actually affecting the life of another human being.<\/p>\n You refuse to disengage from her and ruin her chance at happiness due to your selfish love. Yes, I’m sorry, but if you genuinely loved her, you wouldn’t treat her this way.<\/p>\n If you see that she’s doing fine without you, then cort\u00e1-la<\/a>. You can use the legal system against her as much you’d like, but that will only create resentment.<\/p>\n In a desire to keep her close, you’ll only drive her further away. Is that what you really want?<\/strong><\/p>\n On the other hand, if you want some sort of revenge, isn’t it better to use your time to build a vida mais feliz<\/a> para si pr\u00f3prio? Porqu\u00ea perder tempo com uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o arruinada?<\/p>\n Sejam quais forem as suas raz\u00f5es, a pessoa mais prejudicada, no final, \u00e9 VOC\u00ca!<\/em><\/p>\n Haver\u00e1 um exemplo mais desagrad\u00e1vel de limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher do que usar a vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o de co-parentalidade para se vingarem um do outro?<\/p>\n Maybe you’re talking negatively about her all the time and turning your kids against her. Or maybe she’s seeking child support and alimony not for her kids’ sake but out of anger?<\/p>\n Do you even realize what you’re doing? Instead of being a good and loving parent, you see your children as pawns in a game of revenge.<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember \u2013 they exist for you to LOVE.<\/em><\/p>\n If you’re still resentful towards your ex-wife, why not talk to her about it? If it’s too awkward, there’s always a trusted friend, family member, or even a therapist.<\/p>\n But, please, leave the kids out of it. Don’t give them trauma. Even if they’re not fully aware of what’s going on, it has an impact on them.<\/p>\n Divorce is hard enough for them. Don’t make it even harder.<\/p>\n You’re using your own children again, but this time, in a more “loving” manner.<\/p>\n O que \u00e9 que isso significa?<\/p>\n Bem, basicamente, trata-os bem pelas raz\u00f5es erradas.<\/p>\n You don’t really care about raising them properly. You don’t care about being a good parent. You care about being BETTER than the other parent.<\/strong><\/p>\n It’s all a competition to you. You don’t know any other way to take out your anger on your ex-wife.<\/p>\n Actions don’t matter. Motives do. Treat your children well not out of resentment but out of love.<\/p>\n The world didn’t come to an end. It was only your marriage that ended. Your little ones still need you.<\/em><\/p>\n Yes, your ex-wife may have ruined your marriage, but she didn’t ruin your whole life.<\/p>\n O que tem de compreender \u00e9 o seguinte:<\/p>\n Other people aren’t responsible for your happiness.<\/p>\n Quando eles te magoam, eles S\u00c3O os culpados, mas TU \u00e9s respons\u00e1vel pela sua pr\u00f3pria recupera\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n You won’t accomplish anything by blaming your ex-wife. You will only feed your negative feelings until they drive you insane.<\/p>\n It’s understandable if you’re angry. You have every right to be angry. But, that’s not the emotion that deserves your full attention.<\/p>\n Escolher o amor. Escolha o autocuidado. Escolha o auto-aperfei\u00e7oamento.<\/p>\n A mentalidade de v\u00edtima n\u00e3o nos leva a lado nenhum. S\u00f3 aumenta a sua mis\u00e9ria.<\/strong><\/p>\n Divorciar-se da sua mulher = n\u00e3o se meter na vida pessoal dela.<\/em><\/p>\n That means you can’t keep showing up to her workplace or sending her textos t\u00f3xicos <\/a>. You can’t go through her stuff or stalk her social media accounts.<\/p>\n She may have been yours, but she isn’t anymore, and you have to respect her choice.<\/strong><\/p>\n You both lead new lives now. What’s going on in hers shouldn’t concern you anymore.<\/p>\n Por isso, da pr\u00f3xima vez que come\u00e7ar agir de forma possessiva<\/a>Ao verificar a sua lista de seguidores no Instagram ou ao perguntar sobre o seu novo namorado, fa\u00e7a a si pr\u00f3prio esta pergunta:<\/p>\n Why am I wasting my time doing this for someone who doesn’t care about me anymore?<\/em><\/p>\n Nada do que fizeres vai mudar alguma coisa. Estes limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher s\u00f3 o v\u00e3o tornar mais infeliz.<\/p>\n Se quiser corrigir limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher, d\u00ea uma vista de olhos \u00e0s dicas que se seguem:<\/p>\n This is the most important step. You need to sit down and feel your emotions. Cry your heart out if you must because keeping it inside won’t help you.<\/p>\n Mas, se te permitires ser emocionalmente vulner\u00e1vel<\/a>, you’ll be able to see things more clearly.<\/p>\n You’ll be able to admit that your marriage is history now. You are only an EX-HUSBAND to her, and there’s no point in going back to your old life.<\/p>\n You aren’t together anymore, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Obsessing over the old times can only bring you pain. It’s time to stop reopening the same ferida antiga<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n You can’t just make up boundaries in your head. Since they concern your ex-wife, you have to actually let her know what you want and need.<\/p>\n She’s not a mind reader. She can’t respect your boundaries unless you clearly state them.<\/strong><\/p>\n O que \u00e9 que aceita em rela\u00e7\u00e3o a ela? O que \u00e9 que nunca poderia aceitar?<\/em><\/p>\n Pense nisso um pouco e depois ligue-lhe. Mas lembre-se tamb\u00e9m de que este jogo deve ser jogado a dois. Pergunte-lhe quais s\u00e3o os seus pr\u00f3prios limites.<\/p>\n Maybe your new girlfriend is a bad stepmom to her children. When a stepparent is a negative influence, you can’t blame your ex-spouse for interfering.<\/p>\n If you happen to have a blended family, make sure to remember that the children aren’t only yours. Your ex, too, has the right to make the decisions.<\/p>\n A comunica\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 fundamental. Nada de bom resulta da raiva ou da comportamento passivo-agressivo<\/a>.<\/p>\n13 tipos de limites pouco saud\u00e1veis com a ex-mulher<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/distant-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n1. A raiva \u00e9 in\u00fatil.<\/h3>\n
\nThat’s an obvious example of unhealthy boundaries with ex-wife. If your angry outbursts happen too often, that’s even outright emotional abuse.<\/p>\n2. Jealousy won’t bring her back.<\/h3>\n
3. We weren’t made for only one love story.<\/h3>\n
4. Away from the eyes, away from the heart…<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/man-talking-on-the-phone.jpg\")
<\/p>\n5. If you can’t kill the connection, at least don’t deepen it.<\/h3>\n
6. Deixar o passado no passado.<\/h3>\n
7. Sex isn’t always ‘just sex.’<\/h3>\n
8. Abandonar os antigos pap\u00e9is.<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/cropped-photo-of-a-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n9. If someone decides to leave you, let them…<\/h3>\n
10. Your children aren’t toys.<\/h3>\n
11. Be a good parent… for a good reason.<\/h3>\n
12. \u00c9s respons\u00e1vel pela tua pr\u00f3pria felicidade.<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/man-looking-out-the-window.jpg\")
<\/p>\n13. Todos n\u00f3s merecemos a nossa paz.<\/h3>\n
Como estabelecer limites com a ex-mulher?<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/silhouette-of-a-distanced-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n1. Mude a sua mentalidade.<\/h3>\n
2. Say what’s on your mind.<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/distanced-divorced-couple.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Unhealthy-Boundaries-With-Ex-Wife-13-Types-How-To-Fix-Them-1.jpg\")
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