{"id":148505,"date":"2022-04-04T13:32:04","date_gmt":"2022-04-04T13:32:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=148505"},"modified":"2022-04-04T13:32:04","modified_gmt":"2022-04-04T13:32:04","slug":"ciume-retroativo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/ciume-retroativo\/","title":{"rendered":"Detetar e parar o ci\u00fame retroativo"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all dealt with jealousy in relationships. But you haven\u2019t seen hell if you haven\u2019t experienced retroactive jealousy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

O que \u00e9? Como \u00e9 que a reconhecemos? E, mais importante, como \u00e9 que a trata?<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s only one way to get all the answers: by reading on!<\/p>\n

O que \u00e9 o ci\u00fame retroativo?<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Em poucas palavras, retroactive jealousy is jealousy of your significant other\u2019s romantic history. You obsess over their ex-partners, sexual history, and past romantic relationships and interests.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No entanto, h\u00e1 uma diferen\u00e7a entre ci\u00fame retroativo e TOC de ci\u00fame retroativo.<\/strong> In the first case, you\u2019re just interested in their previous romances.<\/p>\n

Mas se isto se transformar numa perturba\u00e7\u00e3o obsessivo-compulsiva<\/a>, these thoughts turn into compulsions you can\u2019t control.<\/p>\n

Sinais de ci\u00fame retroativo<\/h2>\n

If you experience most or all of these signs, you\u2019re guilty of retroactive jealousy.<\/p>\n

1. Obsessive thoughts about your partner\u2019s previous relationships<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

The first sign of retroactive jealousy OCD is connected with intrusive thoughts about your significant other\u2019s past love life. Even though you\u2019re perfectly aware that they\u2019ve had their share of previous relationships before you \u2013 their past starts to influence your mood.<\/p>\n

Of course, there is a difference between retroactive jealousy OCD and just being jealous of your partner\u2019s ex. When you suffer from this obsessive-compulsive disorder, you can\u2019t control your thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At the end of the day, you become obsessed with your partner\u2019s past relationships, and it is the only thing you can think of.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Digging through your partner\u2019s sexual past<\/h3>\n

One would think that these unwanted thoughts are only concerned with your SO\u2019s romantic past, in the way that you experience jealous feelings not just towards the people they were in serious relationships with but including those you know they cared for.<\/p>\n

No entanto, n\u00e3o \u00e9 esse o caso. De facto, tamb\u00e9m se fica obcecado com o seu passado sexual. Faz-lhes perguntas, exigindo respostas pormenorizadas.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Qual \u00e9 a sua contagem de corpos? Com quantas pessoas j\u00e1 dormiram sem terem tido rela\u00e7\u00f5es rom\u00e2nticas?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re snooping through their sexual history and want to know literally everything about their sexual experiences.<\/p>\n

Of course, once you get all the details, your negative thoughts start to bother you even more. But at the same time, it\u2019s like there is a force pushing you to find out more and more. Before you know it, you\u2019re trapped in a vicious cycle without seeing a way out.<\/p>\n

3. Comparing yourself to your partner\u2019s exes<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Consequently, you start to compare yourself to your partner\u2019s exes.<\/p>\n

H\u00e1 algu\u00e9m que eles amaram mais do que vos amam a v\u00f3s? S\u00e3o eles sobre o seu ex<\/a>? Algu\u00e9m do seu passado deu-lhe mais prazer sexual do que tu alguma vez poderias dar?<\/em><\/p>\n

What do your partner\u2019s exes look like? Are they more attractive than you? Are they more interesting? More successful? More educated? Funnier?<\/em><\/p>\n

Were your partner\u2019s past relationships more serious than your current relationship? What can you do to be better than their previous partners?<\/em><\/p>\n

O que \u00e9 que se pode fazer para os fazer esquecer a sua hist\u00f3ria rom\u00e2ntica?<\/em><\/p>\n

Est\u00e1 sempre a reproduzir diferentes filmes mentais na sua cabe\u00e7a, com o seu par e o seu ex a desempenharem os pap\u00e9is principais. E continua a compar\u00e1-los com voc\u00eas os dois enquanto casal.<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. Stalking your significant other\u2019s activities<\/h3>\n

Another sign of retroactive jealousy OCD is snooping through your SO\u2019s social media, text messages, phone records, and even stalking them \u2013 as in following them around. Of course, this is not something you willingly do \u2013 your jealous thoughts make you do it.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re basically trying to find some clues about their past romantic life. You want to see if they\u2019re in touch with some of their exes or if you could find any info about them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

O seu objetivo final \u00e9 descobrir se they\u2019ll get back together with their ex<\/a>.<\/p>\n

O ci\u00fame retroativo \u00e9 normal?<\/h2>\n

\"rapariga<\/p>\n

As long as you\u2019re only curious about your partner\u2019s romantic history, you feel like most people; they just refuse to admit it. You get a bad feeling every time someone mentions their name, and sometimes, you even compare yourself to them. This is an issue we all face from time to time.<\/p>\n

No entanto, if you can\u2019t control these jealous feelings, if you obsess over your partner\u2019s exes, and if their previous relationships become the center of your life, you\u2019re probably suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder and should visit a psychiatrist.<\/strong><\/p>\n

O que causa o ci\u00fame retroativo?<\/h2>\n

Retrospective jealousy doesn\u2019t appear just like that. It\u2019s a serious problem caused by some deeply rooted issues connected to your mental health.<\/p>\n

1. Traumas passados<\/h3>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

First of all, you\u2019re definitely dealing with something from your past. To be exact, you haven\u2019t dealt with something from your past \u2013 at least, not in a healthy way.<\/p>\n

Estes sentimentos de ci\u00fame retroativo podem ser causados por uma rutura dolorosa do passado.<\/p>\n

Uma das suas rela\u00e7\u00f5es anteriores terminou com o regresso do seu ex ao ex?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Estava tra\u00eddo por algu\u00e9m<\/a> do seu passado?<\/strong> This doesn\u2019t have to only be a romantic partner \u2013 it can be a best friend or primary caregiver. The bottom line is that we\u2019re talking about someone who left you when you needed them the most.<\/p>\n

Tudo isto est\u00e1 a reaparecer \u00e0 superf\u00edcie e a causar problemas na sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o rom\u00e2ntica atual.<\/p>\n

2. Quest\u00f5es de confian\u00e7a<\/h3>\n

Tem dificuldade em confiar nas pessoas. You\u2019re an overthinker<\/a> que continua a procurar sinais de que algu\u00e9m o est\u00e1 a tentar enganar e de que algo se passa nas suas costas.<\/p>\n

Porqu\u00ea? Tem de encontrar a causa principal da sua problemas de confian\u00e7a profundamente enraizados<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Antes de mais nada, you have to ask yourself if you have a reason not to trust your partner or if you\u2019re dealing with quest\u00f5es de confian\u00e7a<\/a> em geral.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If your partner has done something to violate your trust, it\u2019s clearly still bothering you, even though you\u2019ve allegedly forgiven them.<\/p>\n

3. Inseguran\u00e7as pessoais<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Outra causa comum de ci\u00fame retrospetivo est\u00e1 escondida em as suas inseguran\u00e7as<\/a>. You clearly think that you\u2019re not suficientemente bom<\/a>; otherwise, you wouldn\u2019t be comparing yourself to your partner\u2019s exes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

O que o impede de ver a sua autoestima<\/a>? Does your partner make you feel like you\u2019re n\u00e3o \u00e9 suficiente<\/a>? Ou estas inseguran\u00e7as est\u00e3o relacionadas com algo ou algu\u00e9m fora da vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o?<\/p>\n

Antes de avan\u00e7ar, \u00e9 necess\u00e1rio responder a estas perguntas.<\/p>\n

4. Estilo de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019re familiar with the different estilos de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>. Bem, se se pode relacionar com o estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o ansioso<\/a>\u00c9 uma das raz\u00f5es do seu ci\u00fame retroativo.<\/p>\n

Your relationship and your SO are your only preoccupation. You\u2019re obsessed with them, and your biggest fear is losing them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s more than obvious that you\u2019re emotionally dependent on this person, which is never good. In that case, you\u2019re not only dealing with retroactive jealousy \u2013 your obsessive thoughts refer to your entire relationship.<\/p>\n

5. Falta de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/h3>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t have comunica\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/a> in your relationship, these feelings of retroactive jealousy shouldn\u2019t surprise you.<\/p>\n

Instead of talking to your partner about what\u2019s bothering you both (yes, that includes your past lives as well), you direct different mental movies in your head.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every time you asked your partner about their exes, they gave you vague responses, and it\u2019s made you doubt the entire thing. Even when you try to share your intrusive thoughts with them, they don\u2019t take you seriously and refuse to talk about it.<\/p>\n

Consequently, you think that you\u2019re right for feeling this way. You assume that you\u2019re jealous for a reason and that they\u2019re clearly hiding something from you!<\/p>\n

Qual \u00e9 a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o do ci\u00fame retroativo?<\/h2>\n

O ci\u00fame retroativo \u00e9 a combination of intrusive thoughts you can\u2019t control, insecurities, self-doubts, trust issues, irrational paralyzing fears, and low self-esteem.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Como posso parar o ci\u00fame retroativo?<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Overcoming retroactive jealousy is possible and here\u2019s exactly how it can be done!<\/p>\n

1. Identificar a causa<\/h3>\n

It\u2019s like this with everything in life: you can\u2019t cure the symptoms without identifying the cause. So now that you know what causes retroactive jealousy, tem de ver qual \u00e9 a raiz principal do seu problema.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which of the causes can you relate to the most? Once you have that figured out, you\u2019re good to go!<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t repress your feelings<\/h3>\n

At first, you might think that ignoring your jealous thoughts will make them go away. Well, guess what \u2013 it won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

These are unwanted thoughts, and all OCD sufferers know it\u2019s impossible to just ignore them. Besides, repressing your emotions is never healthy.<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, \u00e9 preciso olh\u00e1-las bem nos olhos e perguntar a si pr\u00f3prio porque as sente.<\/strong><\/p>\n

De que \u00e9 que tenho medo? Qual \u00e9 a pior coisa que pode acontecer?<\/em><\/p>\n

Why am I so obsessed with my partner\u2019s romantic history? Am I allowed to have a romantic past? If the answer is yes, why is my SO different?<\/em><\/p>\n

Ser\u00e1 que me falta alguma coisa na minha rela\u00e7\u00e3o que me faz sentir assim?<\/em><\/p>\n

3. Identificar os seus padr\u00f5es de comportamento t\u00f3xico<\/h3>\n

\"casal<\/p>\n

The next step is to work on your behavior patterns. You can\u2019t snap your finger and chase away your intrusive thoughts, but you can be in charge of your actions.<\/p>\n

How many times a day do you check your SO\u2019s ex\u2019s social media profiles? How many times a day do you look at that one photo of them together you managed to find?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, it\u2019s about time to reduce it and finally stop with this habit.<\/p>\n

The same goes for snooping through your partner\u2019s phone and reading their text messages. After all, if you can\u2019t trust the person you\u2019re with, maybe it\u2019s better to break up right away!<\/p>\n

4. Seja honesto com a sua cara-metade<\/h3>\n

Whether you like to admit it or not, your partner feels your retroactive jealousy. It\u2019s time to be honest with them regarding this issue. Tell them how you feel and do your best to explain everything in detail.<\/p>\n

Make sure you tell them that you don\u2019t lay any responsibility on their shoulders. They\u2019re not giving you any reason to feel retroactive jealousy, but you feel it nevertheless.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c9 claro que isto s\u00f3 \u00e9 poss\u00edvel se houver uma comunica\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel. Se n\u00e3o for esse o caso, h\u00e1 que trabalhar nesse aspeto antes de qualquer outra coisa.<\/p>\n

5. Trabalhar a autoestima<\/h3>\n

O essencial \u00e9 aprender a coloque-se em primeiro lugar<\/a> na sua vida.<\/p>\n

Ter um rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/a> with your partner is significant \u2013 nobody can argue against that. But you know what\u2019s even more important? Building a healthy rela\u00e7\u00e3o consigo pr\u00f3prio<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se trabalhar a sua autoestima<\/a> and learn how to love yourself, you\u2019ll realize that you don\u2019t need this person. Actually, you don\u2019t need anyone besides yourself.<\/p>\n

Once you understand that, you\u2019ll realize that even the worst-case scenario wouldn\u2019t be the end of the world. So, what if they really did go back to their ex?<\/p>\n

Posso garantir-vos uma coisa: sobreviveriam!<\/p>\n

6. Reformular os seus padr\u00f5es de pensamento<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Your thought patterns have become a compulsion, and if you think about overcoming retroactive jealousy, it\u2019s time to reframe them. What does that mean?<\/p>\n

Antes de mais, sempre que centrar-se no passado<\/a>Se o seu relacionamento atual n\u00e3o for bom, redireccione os seus pensamentos para algo bonito.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every time you think about the qualities of your partner\u2019s ex, name a few things that make you such a great girlfriend or boyfriend.<\/p>\n

Sempre que pensar no amor que os dois partilharam, redireccione os seus pensamentos para a fant\u00e1stica rela\u00e7\u00e3o que voc\u00eas t\u00eam.<\/p>\n

7. Pedir ajuda profissional<\/h3>\n

Finally, if you suffer from a form of OCD, you\u2019re unlikely to resolve it without psychotherapy.<\/p>\n

A TCC (terapia cognitivo-comportamental) provou ser bem sucedida para muitas pessoas que sofrem de TOC, e \u00e9 algo que deve considerar com o seu profissional de sa\u00fade mental.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Either way, what\u2019s important is to know that there is no shame in asking for help.<\/p>\n

Para terminar:<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I know this is easier said than done, but please, don\u2019t allow the past to destroy your present and future. The worst part is that it\u2019s not even your past to begin with.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let retroactive jealousy get the best of your current relationship. Remember: if your SO wanted to be with any of their exes, that\u2019s exactly what they would have done. But they are with you, aren\u2019t they?<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all dealt with jealousy in relationships. But you haven\u2019t seen hell if you haven\u2019t experienced retroactive jealousy. What is it? How do you recognize it? And most importantly, how do you treat it? There\u2019s only one way to get all the answers: by reading on! What Is Retroactive Jealousy? Simply put, retroactive jealousy is…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":53,"featured_media":148506,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29614],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-talks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29614,"label":"love talks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Spotting-And-Stopping-Retroactive-Jealousy-1024x678.jpg",1024,678,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Ariel Quinn","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/ariel\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29614,"name":"love talks","slug":"love-talks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29614,"taxonomy":"category","description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","parent":38,"count":426,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29614,"category_count":426,"category_description":"What is love? How does it affect us? How to know someone loves you or show someone you love them? What types of love are there? Learn all that and much more.","cat_name":"love talks","category_nicename":"love-talks","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/53"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=148505"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148505\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/148506"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=148505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=148505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=148505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}