{"id":150991,"date":"2022-05-18T09:36:35","date_gmt":"2022-05-18T09:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=150991"},"modified":"2023-01-11T17:02:26","modified_gmt":"2023-01-11T17:02:26","slug":"quando-alguem-cancela-os-planos-a-ultima-da-hora","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/quando-alguem-cancela-os-planos-a-ultima-da-hora\/","title":{"rendered":"O que fazer quando algu\u00e9m cancela planos de \u00faltima hora"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got annoyed when a friend of mine sent a “Sorry, can’t make it” text after I had already arrived at the bar where we were supposed to meet up. Still, I didn\u2019t get mad at her. Pode acontecer a qualquer pessoa, certo?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alguns dias depois, mandou-me uma mensagem sobre algo aleat\u00f3rio e nem sequer mencionou o motivo do cancelamento, muito menos pediu desculpa.<\/p>\n

She clearly didn’t consider it a big deal, which made me think about our relationship in general.<\/strong> Ser\u00e1 que ela gostava mesmo de mim, ou era apenas uma amiga por conveni\u00eancia? Estaria a exagerar, perguntei-me?<\/p>\n

When someone cancels plans last minute, sometimes it\u2019s really not a big deal. However, in some cases, it\u2019s definitely a warning sign that you should examine your relationship with that person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why people cancel plans at the last minute and what to do about it.<\/p>\n

O que fazer quando algu\u00e9m cancela planos de \u00faltima hora<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Quando algu\u00e9m cancela os planos \u00e0 \u00faltima hora, a resposta gen\u00e9rica seria deixar passar e seguir em frente.<\/strong> Uma resposta mais \u00fatil depende das circunst\u00e2ncias.<\/p>\n

In my case, the only difference between my friend canceling last minute and her standing me up was that she texted me to say she wouldn’t be able to make it.<\/p>\n

After I spent some time thinking about my relationship with her, I did realize that she wasn’t a real friend. A sua atitude descuidada neste caso foi apenas um sintoma de algo que eu deveria ter notado mais cedo.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not always this dramatic when someone cancels plans last minute, though. A sua rea\u00e7\u00e3o vai depender de outras coisas relacionadas com os planos cancelados.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eis algumas perguntas para o ajudar a compreender a situa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

1. Existe algum motivo importante para o cancelamento?<\/h3>\n

You assume that something important came up when someone cancels plans last minute, but it doesn’t actually have to be anything big.<\/p>\n

O que est\u00e1 em causa \u00e9 saber se o que surgiu \u00e9 mais importante do que os planos que fez. Se derem prioridade a algo trivial em vez de passarem tempo consigo, you shouldn\u2019t waste your energy on them<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Existem, evidentemente, raz\u00f5es leg\u00edtimas para ter de faltar a quaisquer planos ou preparativos. Uma emerg\u00eancia familiar, um acidente ou uma doen\u00e7a s\u00e3o mais importantes do que qualquer compromisso para a maioria das pessoas.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everyone knows this, and some people sometimes use these situations as excuses to lie when they want to get out of things. This doesn’t mean these things don’t happen, but they\u2019re much less frequent than we pretend they are.<\/p>\n

A verdadeira raz\u00e3o para o cancelamento dos planos pode ser qualquer uma. It’s up to you to judge whether the other person has been honest about what it was and to decide if it was a good reason to cancel.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Pediram desculpa?<\/h3>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

A sincere apology is one of the pillars of healthy relationships, so it’s a pity people hate apologizing so much. It’s usually pride or conviction that you’re right that stops a person from apologizing, but very often, people simply don’t care enough.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Como \u00e9 que se pede desculpa? A real apology expresses genuine regret and doesn’t put the blame on the other person.<\/strong> A fake apology is usually just about being sorry you are being forced to apologize and doesn’t solve anything.<\/p>\n

Quando algu\u00e9m cancela os seus planos \u00e0 \u00faltima da hora sem apresentar um pedido de desculpas, pode ficar com a impress\u00e3o de que they don\u2019t think your time is as important as their own or that they don’t value you at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the grand scheme of things, canceled plans aren’t such a big deal, but when it seems like the other person doesn’t care, the consequences can change from ruining your mood to making you lose interest in that person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. Sugeriram novos planos?<\/h3>\n

Someone who cancels the plans you had together when they didn’t want to will probably still want to meet up, so they’re going to ask you to reschedule or suggest alternate plans.<\/p>\n

If they’re serious about it, they’ll actually give you options or ask you when it would work for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When someone isn’t particularly interested in getting together, they might not even mention making different plans. If they do, they’re going to be vague and non-committal.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If it’s a suggestion to take a rain check or a “Let’s meet up another time,” don’t hold your breath. Instead, make plans with someone who’s going to make time for you<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This doesn’t mean that you don’t need this person in your life at all. Your relationship might still work even if you don’t meet up a lot.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It might be a family member you see once a year or a good friend who’s just a flake that can’t be bothered but sends you the best memes. Pick what’s important to you.<\/p>\n

4. Como \u00e9 que cancelaram os vossos planos?<\/h3>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Assumiram a responsabilidade pelo cancelamento?<\/p>\n

When plans include more than one person, many people feel like it’s okay to cancel without regret because there are others around to pick up the slack.<\/strong> Acreditam que n\u00e3o t\u00eam qualquer obriga\u00e7\u00e3o de cumprir as suas promessas, uma vez que outra pessoa pode ocupar o seu lugar.<\/p>\n

O facto de termos sempre o telem\u00f3vel connosco faz com que as pessoas esperem que estejamos sempre dispon\u00edveis.<\/strong> It also means that sending a text is considered doing your part in communicating, and whether or not the other person has read it isn’t our problem.<\/p>\n

Cancelar por texto \u00e9 muito mais f\u00e1cil do que telefonar a algu\u00e9m e falar com essa pessoa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When canceling over something that isn’t a good reason, people tend to feel guilty. A text is painless compared to speaking to the other person and admitting you’re not coming.<\/p>\n

5. Como \u00e9 que esta pessoa o trata noutras circunst\u00e2ncias?<\/h3>\n

A primeira vez que algu\u00e9m cancela os planos, damos-lhe o benef\u00edcio da d\u00favida. It’s annoying, but we’ve all been there \u2013 something comes up, and you just can’t get out of it.<\/strong> Da segunda vez, j\u00e1 parecem escamosas.<\/p>\n

When it becomes a habit, it’s clear that you’re dealing with someone who’s selfish. Esta pode ser a oportunidade perfeita para get rid of someone who\u2019s toxic<\/a> e s\u00f3 cria problemas na sua vida.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re looking forward to going out with someone, you arrange your time around it. Pode recusar outros planos e adiar obriga\u00e7\u00f5es para os ver.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Instead of resting, working, or spending time with someone else, you’re putting on make up, choosing an outfit, and getting ready to go out. It’s not just the time you would have spent together that’s wasted when someone cancels plans last minute.<\/p>\n

Uma pessoa que o aprecie estar\u00e1 atenta a isso.<\/strong> Someone who doesn’t probably tends to show their carelessness in other ways as well.<\/p>\n

Think about your relationship \u2013 does this person normally treat you with respect and appreciation, or is a last-minute cancel totally something you would expect of them?<\/strong><\/p>\n

6. Como \u00e9 que os trata?<\/h3>\n

\"rapariga<\/p>\n

When someone cancels plans last minute, you’ll get annoyed or feel relieved if you were thinking about doing the same thing. If you were looking forward to going out, ser honesto consigo pr\u00f3prio e pensar na forma como trata essa pessoa<\/a> antes de te zangares.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chega sempre a horas quando marca um encontro ou tamb\u00e9m tem tend\u00eancia a faltar? Is this a mutual thing, and are you only feeling bad because you’re on the receiving end of a last-minute cancellation?<\/strong><\/p>\n

People often feel hurt when someone does something to them that they don’t consider a big deal when they do it.<\/p>\n

Do you tend to cancel on your best friend when you’re feeling too lazy to go out? If you change your mind about going on a date, do you let them know on short notice?<\/strong><\/p>\n

There’s a chance that you’ve developed a relationship with this person where commitments aren’t considered serious. Se quer que isto mude, deve comunicar e come\u00e7ar por mudar o seu pr\u00f3prio comportamento.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que as pessoas cancelam planos \u00e0 \u00faltima da hora?<\/h2>\n

Porque \u00e9 que cancelamos planos? Todos o fazemos por uma raz\u00e3o ou outra, mas algumas pessoas encaram um encontro cancelado ou um compromisso falhado de forma muito mais casual do que outras.<\/p>\n

Most of the time, it’s not about the person who\u2019s being bailed on. It’s almost always a personal issue of the person who’s doing the canceling.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Estas s\u00e3o algumas das raz\u00f5es pelas quais as pessoas cancelam os seus planos.<\/p>\n

1. They just don\u2019t feel like going out anymore.<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Pense numa altura em que se sentiu tentado a ficar em casa, apesar de ter planos. You come home after a stressful day at work, and now you have to go for a drink with some guy you’re only kind of interested in?<\/strong> You’d probably rather veg on your couch and watch TV.<\/p>\n

If you’re someone who honors their responsibilities and you went despite your moment of laziness, you probably had a good time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Muitas vezes, as pessoas s\u00f3 querem uma satisfa\u00e7\u00e3o moment\u00e2nea. When we cancel simply because we feel like we don’t want to do whatever we promised we would, it easily becomes a habit.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people don’t consider the other person when they cancel plans, only their feelings. Because they don’t want to go at that moment, the other person’s feelings don’t matter.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If someone does things like this repeatedly and without remorse, it might be a red flag that you’re dealing with a narcissist.<\/p>\n

2. There’s a better option.<\/h3>\n

Some people aren’t really sure if they even want to go, so if something better comes up, they have no problem canceling. If they’re not sure they want to do it, why make plans in the first place?<\/strong><\/p>\n

People make plans because someone asked them or just in case they want to go out when the time comes. Sometimes they think they’ll be able to meet up, but when the time comes, they decide that doing something else is a better option.<\/p>\n

Someone like this is usually a chronic bailer, so when someone treats you like this, it’s best not to take any plans you make with them seriously.<\/strong> The truth is, they don’t care about you enough to make an effort, so they don’t deserve your effort either.<\/p>\n

If they can’t be bothered to keep their promises about meeting up, they probably won’t keep their promises about more important things either<\/strong>. As pessoas arranjam tempo para o que querem<\/a>. Mantenha-se descontra\u00eddo e espere por uma op\u00e7\u00e3o melhor.<\/p>\n

3. It’s about anxiety.<\/h3>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

As pessoas com ansiedade preocupam-se com muitas coisas. When they make plans, they might easily work themselves into a state of being overwhelmed if they don’t know how to deal with their feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n

They might start thinking about things like how they’re going to come across, how the other person is going to act, or what they’re going to talk about. So when the time comes to meet up, they simply don’t feel like they can do it, and they cancel.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Como a ansiedade nos deixa preocupados, tamb\u00e9m nos leva a procrastinar. Por vezes, as pessoas com ansiedade passam o tempo todo a preocupar-se, pelo que acabam por n\u00e3o se sentir mentalmente preparadas para fazer alguma coisa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adiam os preparativos para o encontro, pelo que a sua ansiedade s\u00f3 aumenta \u00e0 medida que a hora se aproxima.<\/p>\n

A socializa\u00e7\u00e3o pode ser stressante e cansativa para uma pessoa com ansiedade.<\/strong> Pode ajudar essa pessoa, deixando-a avan\u00e7ar ao seu pr\u00f3prio ritmo e sem press\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Se sentirem necessidade de cancelar, n\u00e3o se esque\u00e7a de lhes dizer que compreende. Quando se aceita as pessoas como elas s\u00e3o<\/a>Se o fizer, ajuda-o e a sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o com ele cresce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A melhor forma de responder a um cancelamento de \u00faltima hora<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

A melhor forma de reagir quando algu\u00e9m cancela os planos \u00e0 \u00faltima hora depende de tudo o que mencion\u00e1mos at\u00e9 agora e do que pretende da sua rela\u00e7\u00e3o com essa pessoa.<\/p>\n

Antes de responder<\/h3>\n

Eis algumas coisas que deve considerar antes de responder a algu\u00e9m que cancela os planos \u00e0 \u00faltima da hora.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Do you care?<\/h4>\n

Antes de mais, pense na import\u00e2ncia que essa pessoa e essa situa\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00eam para si. Is it someone you care about, and is this something that\u2019s a big deal to you?<\/strong> Ser\u00e1 que isso realmente importa?<\/a>ou \u00e9 apenas uma pequena n\u00f3doa negra para o teu ego?<\/p>\n

Keep your mental health a priority, and if it’s someone not particularly important, just let it go.<\/strong> If they offer an explanation, good. If they don’t, who cares?<\/p>\n

If it’s someone you do hold special, take other things into account before responding.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Why did they cancel?<\/h4>\n

\u00c9 um assunto pessoal, algo importante, ou simplesmente n\u00e3o lhes apeteceu sair? Do you feel understanding if it\u2019s just a case of not wanting to go out?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Did they offer an honest apology?<\/h4>\n

Even if this person doesn\u2019t have a \u2018good\u2019 reason for canceling plans, did they offer a sincere apology?<\/p>\n

For example, would you be okay with it if your girlfriend told you, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but work was stressful today, and all I want to do is sleep right now. Let me make it up to you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2022 Do they want to reschedule?<\/h4>\n

Se a outra pessoa disser que quer que fique para outra altura, a inten\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e9 real ou est\u00e1 apenas a diz\u00ea-lo? If they really want to meet up, they\u2019ll suggest a specific time instead of just mentioning that you should reschedule.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Is canceling plans a habit for either of you?<\/h4>\n

If this isn\u2019t the first time they\u2019re canceling plans, you might rightfully feel fed up. On the other hand, if you tend to do the same, maybe your relationship has become one where plans aren\u2019t that important.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Se quer que isto mude, talvez seja melhor ter uma conversa e estabelecer algumas regras.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Do they take it seriously?<\/h4>\n

Did they send a text just so that it counts, or did they make an effort to let you know they can’t make it? Did you see them make a social media post right before sending you an \u201comg, so busy\u201d text? You don\u2019t deserve to be an afterthought<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

O que responder<\/h3>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you’re okay with it<\/h4>\n

If you’re namorar um homem ocupado<\/a> or woman and they cancel last minute, let them know it’s okay and that you’d like to give it another shot. Respond with something that combines these feelings.<\/p>\n

N\u00e3o se preocupe.<\/em><\/p>\n

Eu percebo.<\/em><\/p>\n

Obrigado por me avisar.<\/em><\/p>\n

Est\u00e1 dispon\u00edvel em ~ ?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 If you want an explanation<\/h4>\n

Even when they approach canceling plans thoughtfully, you can still be annoyed, but you don’t want to pry or push them away. Let them know that you’re concerned and open to rescheduling.<\/p>\n

Est\u00e1 tudo bem?<\/em><\/p>\n

I hope it’s nothing serious.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me know when you’re ready to try this again.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 If you’re fed up<\/h4>\n

When someone keeps canceling on you, there comes a moment when you’re done. Make it clear that wasting your time is not acceptable.<\/p>\n

I wish you’d let me know sooner. I have other important things to do.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’ll let you know if I’m free again.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let’s hope this is the last time you cancel.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 If you don’t care<\/h4>\n

If you’re done with this person, you don’t have to respond at all. If you do, let them know they should move on and not waste your time anymore. Any variation of \u201cbye\u201d is the best response.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Conclus\u00e3o<\/h2>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Quando algu\u00e9m cancela os planos \u00e0 \u00faltima da hora, pode ficar aborrecido, magoado ou zangado. Depending on how the other person approaches it and how you feel, you might want to reschedule, or you might decide you\u2019re done with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your time is as valuable as anyone else\u2019s, and others should respect that. On the other hand, if you\u2019re someone who cancels plans last minute, try putting yourself in the other person\u2019s shoes before you do it.<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got annoyed when a friend of mine sent a “Sorry, can’t make it” text after I had already arrived at the bar where we were supposed to meet up. Still, I didn\u2019t get mad at her. It can happen to anyone, right? A few days later, she texted me about something random and never…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":150992,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29637],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-hacks"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29637,"label":"life hacks"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/What-To-Do-When-Someone-Cancels-Plans-Last-Minute-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29637,"name":"life hacks","slug":"life-hacks","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29637,"taxonomy":"category","description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","parent":22911,"count":281,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29637,"category_count":281,"category_description":"When life gives you lemons - make lemonade, and allow these life hacks to remind you of your strength, potential, and the right to be happy.","cat_name":"life hacks","category_nicename":"life-hacks","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150991"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150991\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/150992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}