Tinha acabado de me divorciar e estava a dar uma volta na montanha-russa emocional que vem com ele. Tinha finalmente encontrado a paz e estava a come\u00e7ar a ser feliz novamente.<\/p>\r\n
I was finding myself and loving myself and felt a sense of comfort that only God can provide. I wasn\u2019t looking for anyone new because I had finally accepted the fact I was alone and was actually okay with it.<\/p>\r\n
Then he came along\u2026 and my world flipped upside down.<\/p>\r\n
There is so much to say, it\u2019s going to be hard for me to stay on track but I am going to start from the beginning when it was amazing because, without that part, you won\u2019t understand why it ended the way it did – you won\u2019t understand what a narcissist is unless you know it all.<\/p>\r\n
Like I said, I wasn\u2019t looking for anyone. He found me\u2026 he CHOSE me.<\/p>\r\n
I got a message one day, asking when I would let him take me out on a date and show me how I\u2019m supposed to be treated.<\/p>\r\n
He would have me, \u201cThrowing rocks at all the other guys.\u201d Well, that sounded real smooth but at that point, I was still not ready, so I turned him down.<\/p>\r\n
A month later, I got another message; this time he wasn\u2019t asking me out, just making small talk. He needed a favor and being the helpful person I am, I agreed, not knowing I was opening myself up to one of the biggest lessons I would learn in my life.<\/p>\r\n
After a month of talking and him making himself out to be a really great guy, we decided to go out one night. It was game over from there\u2026 I was hooked.<\/p>\r\n
Ele fez-me sentir que podia falar com ele sobre tudo. Ele tinha passado por coisas semelhantes \u00e0s minhas, tinha passado por um div\u00f3rcio mau, tinha tido um casamento t\u00f3xico, tinha perdido um pai.<\/p>\r\n
He made me feel safe, something I hadn\u2019t felt in so long. He was like walking into a house and feeling at home. It would take me almost two years to realize that place that felt like home was de facto uma pris\u00e3o<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n My friends tried to tell me I was stupid for letting my guard down as fast as I did but it just felt right\u2026 he felt right.<\/p>\r\n It was nice to laugh with someone instead of fighting with them and that\u2019s what we did.<\/p>\r\n Est\u00e1vamos sempre a rir. Gost\u00e1vamos da mesma m\u00fasica e dos mesmos programas de televis\u00e3o, partilh\u00e1vamos interesses semelhantes em tantas coisas que nunca nos faltava assunto para falar. Pod\u00edamos ficar acordados durante horas a falar.<\/p>\r\n Era misterioso e calado, mas eu percebia que se passava muita coisa na sua cabe\u00e7a e eu estava determinada a saber tudo.<\/p>\r\n I tried to learn about him without him knowing\u2026 I wanted to know why he was the way he was, his quirks, what made him tick, I wanted to know about every scar, every tattoo, every story he would give me bits and pieces of.<\/p>\r\n I kept telling myself not to fall so fast because I know how I love\u2026 I love hard so when I fall, it\u2019s swan-diving into it without any second thought but he made it so easy to fall.<\/p>\r\n Ele fez com que fosse t\u00e3o f\u00e1cil deixar cair aquele muro que eu tinha passado meses a reparar e a reconstruir. O muro pelo qual jurei a mim mesma que ia fazer algu\u00e9m trabalhar.<\/p>\r\n I tried to play hard to get, I really did. But he flipped the script on me so fast. Before I knew it, I was the one trying to break his walls down and prove to him I wasn\u2019t, \u201clike the rest of them.\u201d<\/p>\r\n No in\u00edcio, vi sinais de alerta, mas pensei que era apenas inseguran\u00e7a da minha parte e que estava a projetar o meu passado na rela\u00e7\u00e3o atual. Estava sempre a dizer a mim mesma que estava a pensar demais nas coisas e que ele merecia uma oportunidade.<\/p>\r\n Even though my gut was telling me something wasn\u2019t right, my heart was telling me yes it was. So I fought harder for him than I ever did for anyone in my life, even the 5-year marriage I had just gotten out of.<\/p>\r\n Estava determinada a fazer com que isto resultasse, porque o amava com todas as fibras do meu ser, queria consertar o que quer que estivesse partido no seu passado e n\u00e3o queria cometer os mesmos erros que tinha cometido nas minhas rela\u00e7\u00f5es anteriores.<\/p>\r\n Fiz tudo por ele e mais alguma coisa.<\/p>\r\n N\u00e3o h\u00e1 uma \u00fanica parte de mim que pense que poderia ter feito melhor, que poderia ter-me esfor\u00e7ado um pouco mais, ou que poderia t\u00ea-lo amado mais do que o fiz, porque sei, sem sombra de d\u00favida, que lhe dei 110%, se n\u00e3o mais.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Demorou cerca de um ano at\u00e9 que a sua verdadeira personalidade come\u00e7asse a aparecer.<\/p>\r\n O homem que me fazia sentir segura, que nunca levantava a voz e que nunca discutia comigo, estava a come\u00e7ar a mostrar-me um lado obscuro e pouco lisonjeiro de si pr\u00f3prio. Mas eu amava-o, por isso estava disposta a ultrapassar isso.<\/p>\r\n Eu tinha acabado de sair de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o em que todos os dias nos desentend\u00edamos aos gritos e fal\u00e1vamos mal um do outro, por isso recusei-me a voltar a fazer isso.<\/p>\r\n Quando ele queria come\u00e7ar uma discuss\u00e3o, eu afastava-me, independentemente de quantos sarcasmos e passivo-agressivo<\/a> coment\u00e1rios que queria dizer, apesar de ter aprendido o que o irritava.<\/p>\r\n Disse-lhe que n\u00e3o ia fazer o trabalho sujo por ele, que n\u00e3o ia ceder ao facto de ele ter come\u00e7ado uma discuss\u00e3o e depois ter puxado por mim para me virar as costas. J\u00e1 tinha passado por isso antes e recusei-me a voltar a faz\u00ea-lo.<\/p>\r\n Instead of fighting with him, I would just apologize for things that I didn\u2019t do.<\/p>\r\n Eu tentava melhorar as coisas, mas estava a guardar as coisas dentro de mim e isso estava a dar cabo de mim, porque nunca fui o tipo de pessoa que guarda a l\u00edngua ou que se afasta de uma discuss\u00e3o.<\/p>\r\n One of the things I liked about him was that he didn\u2019t like to go out and party and I was totally fine with that but it became a bit much when we couldn\u2019t even go out to eat at restaurants or go to places we were invited with family or friends.<\/p>\r\n Torn\u00e1mo-nos eremitas e eu arranjava sempre desculpas para ele. Depressa percebi que isso era apenas para me isolar a mim, n\u00e3o a ele.<\/p>\r\n Perdi tantas coisas porque me sentia mal por ir sem ele. Eu estava \u00e0 sua disposi\u00e7\u00e3o e ele tinha-me completamente \u00e0 volta do seu dedo.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Sempre fui uma pessoa forte, muito intuitiva e consigo perceber as coisas com bastante facilidade. Ent\u00e3o, como \u00e9 que permiti que isto se prolongasse durante tanto tempo antes de come\u00e7ar a juntar as pe\u00e7as?<\/p>\r\n I fucking loved him, that\u2019s why.<\/p>\r\n Narcissists use empathetic people as fuel. They choose their prey wisely. I wasn\u2019t special to him, I was merely a target.<\/p>\r\n Quando comecei a trazer o da escurid\u00e3o para a luz<\/a> e mostrar-lhe que eu estava a perceber o que ele era e o que se estava a passar, s\u00f3 piorou as coisas e acabaria por ser a verdadeira raz\u00e3o pela qual ele se foi embora.<\/p>\r\n Todos os dias, sentia-me exausta porque ele me tirava a vida.<\/p>\r\n All of my time and energy was spent on trying to please him, not provoke him, tiptoe on eggshells so I wouldn\u2019t hurt his fragile little ego.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n I had never met a man who was so sensitive when it came to someone joking with him. It seemed like anything I said or did was offensive and eventually, I just didn\u2019t want to talk at all.<\/p>\r\n N\u00e3o sou uma pessoa est\u00fapida, mas deixei que isto se prolongasse por muito mais tempo do que devia.<\/p>\r\n Quando comecei a perceber com o que estava a lidar, n\u00e3o queria deixar que aquilo continuasse. Passei dias a ler sobre o seu comportamento e os padr\u00f5es que se estavam a tornar cada vez mais frequentes.<\/p>\r\n It didn\u2019t take me long after that to realize Eu estava apaixonada por um narcisista<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n It\u2019s definitely true when they say hindsight is 20\/20 because all of the signs I had ignored in the beginning and all of the things I thought were great about him came crashing into my mind like a burst dam.<\/p>\r\n I realized that this man could never love ANYONE, much less me! All of the things he did in the beginning, the person I had fallen in love with\u2026 that was ME!<\/p>\r\n Ele espelhou as minhas emo\u00e7\u00f5es, a minha personalidade, os meus tra\u00e7os, e usou-os para me fazer apaixonar por ele. I wasn\u2019t in love with him\u2026 I was in love with myself.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Quando ele decidiu deixar-me, houve um momento em que fiquei de cora\u00e7\u00e3o partido.<\/p>\r\n Then it was like I\u2019d had an epiphany. I could either let this make me or break me and come hell or high water I was NOT going to let this man take any more from me than he already had.<\/p>\r\n Dei a volta \u00e0 situa\u00e7\u00e3o e utilizei-a como combust\u00edvel. Ele n\u00e3o me ia transformar nesta mulher amarga. Eu era melhor do que isso. Eu sou melhor do que isso.<\/p>\r\n Foi preciso ele partir para eu perceber que me apaixonei por mim pr\u00f3pria h\u00e1 muito tempo.<\/p>\r\n He tried to break me but he didn\u2019t. He left me but I found me.<\/p>\r\n Peguei no fogo que tinha usado para lutar por ele e comecei a lutar por mim pr\u00f3pria.<\/p>\r\n The day I watched him pull out of the driveway, I didn\u2019t even shed a tear. It was almost like a weight had been lifted.<\/p>\r\n I\u2019m not going to lie and say that I didn\u2019t have my moments or that there weren\u2019t times I thought I missed him. We had several good memories together so of course, I missed those but I couldn\u2019t allow myself to stay in that feeling because even though those moments were real, as mem\u00f3rias aconteceram<\/a>\u2026 the person he pretended to be during those times was not.<\/p>\r\n Tive de me aperceber que tinha dormido ao lado de um homem, durante quase dois anos, que nunca se importou comigo e que nunca o incomodou quando eu chorava, nunca o incomodou quando me magoava. Ele nunca me amou<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n We all want closure after a break-up, but sometimes you just don\u2019t get the closure you want or think you need.<\/p>\r\n Por vezes, o encerramento \u00e9 simplesmente seguir em frente e melhorar.<\/p>\r\n Por vezes, n\u00e3o h\u00e1 explica\u00e7\u00f5es ou fundamentos.<\/p>\r\n Sometimes you just end up with a shitty person, a heartless man, someone who is incapable of feeling love or remorse. So as much as we want to believe that these types of people will realize what they had and lost one day, it\u2019s bullshit.<\/p>\r\n They will not miss us, they will not think about us and they will never regret doing what they did to us because they don\u2019t feel love like we feel love. They had every intention of leaving from the moment they picked us.<\/p>\r\n N\u00e3o se iludam, n\u00e3o nos escolheram por sermos fracas; escolheram-nos porque somos mulheres fortes que foram encontradas numa altura vulner\u00e1vel.<\/p>\r\n Narcissists have very fragile egos, they need someone with a strong mind, strong personality, someone who\u2019s likable, emotional, empathetic, and driven so they can feed off of us like a parasite needs a host.<\/p>\r\n What I\u2019ve come to realize after loving this kind of human is that I am stronger than I give myself credit for and I will never let another person make me think otherwise.<\/p>\r\n O que eu pensava ser o maior amor da minha vida provou ser uma das li\u00e7\u00f5es mais valiosas da mesma. Agora sei do que sou capaz emocionalmente e recuso-me a permitir que algu\u00e9m me tire a paz NUNCA mais.<\/p>\r\n![\"Mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/christopher-windus-92825-unsplash.jpg\")
<\/p>\r\n![\"Homem](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/umit-bulut-143016-unsplash.jpg\")
<\/p>\r\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/herway.net-18.jpg\")
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