{"id":152223,"date":"2022-06-06T07:45:26","date_gmt":"2022-06-06T07:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=152223"},"modified":"2022-12-13T14:31:30","modified_gmt":"2022-12-13T14:31:30","slug":"distanciar-se-dos-sogros","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/distanciar-se-dos-sogros\/","title":{"rendered":"Distanciar-se dos sogros: Deve faz\u00ea-lo e como?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Digo sempre que casar com algu\u00e9m significa tamb\u00e9m casar com os seus amigos e fam\u00edlia. Bem, o pior cen\u00e1rio nessa situa\u00e7\u00e3o seria acabar com IN-LAWS t\u00f3xicos.<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure Jennifer Lopez still has PTSD from making the movie Sogro Monstro<\/i>que retrata na perfei\u00e7\u00e3o o qu\u00e3o t\u00f3xicas (e engra\u00e7adas) podem ser as rela\u00e7\u00f5es com os sogros.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. Not all in-laws are toxic, and if you\u2019re lucky enough, you\u2019ll manage to establish a <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/b> com eles.<\/b> If you\u2019re not, then distancing yourself from in-laws is probably the right thing to do.<\/p>\n

Agora, a quest\u00e3o \u00e9: Quando \u00e9 que se deve distanciar dos sogros?<\/i> Penso que uma pergunta melhor seria: Quais s\u00e3o as formas mais f\u00e1ceis de o fazer?<\/i><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie to you. Distancing yourself from in-laws can be really challenging, but if it\u2019s done right, it can work out perfectly.<\/b><\/p>\n

Keep in mind that distancing doesn\u2019t mean cutting off all contact with them. It means setting boundaries and forming a healthier relationship with them.<\/p>\n

Below, you\u2019ll find a list of legit reasons you should distance yourself from in-laws and the best ways to do so.<\/p>\n

Quando \u00e9 que se deve considerar a hip\u00f3tese de se distanciar dos sogros?<\/h2>\n

Se os seus sogros interferem no seu casamento mais do que deviam e fazem tudo o que est\u00e1 ao seu alcance para sabotar a sua felicidade, ent\u00e3o o distanciamento \u00e9 definitivamente uma obriga\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n

There are also other equally important reasons you shouldn\u2019t tolerate their toxic behavior. So, let\u2019s see:<\/p>\n

1. Virar-vos um contra o outro \u00e9 o passatempo preferido deles<\/h3>\n

\"um<\/p>\n

I bet things are seldom worse than your parents or your partner\u2019s parents (or other family members) turning you and your partner against each other. It\u2019s when they can\u2019t help themselves but constantly try to find ways to destroy your marriage.<\/p>\n

Fronteiras em Sociologia<\/b> confirmam a seriedade da minha tese num dos seus artigos de investiga\u00e7\u00e3o sobre as rela\u00e7\u00f5es entre sogros:<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cIn-laws and their \u2018meddling\u2019 rank high among the sources of conflict in contemporary marriages, often higher than such potential flash points as financial issues or mismatched values.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Escusado ser\u00e1 dizer que este comportamento \u00e9 100% t\u00f3xico e que nenhum casal o deve tolerar. If that\u2019s what\u2019s happening to you at the moment, then you know it\u2019s time to distance yourself from them.<\/b><\/p>\n

Your in-laws should be supportive of your marriage, and they should be on the same team as you. If they aren\u2019t, then they\u2019re deliberately destroying your marriage.<\/p>\n

2. Interfer\u00eancia constante nas vossas decis\u00f5es enquanto casal<\/h3>\n

Are your in-laws constantly interfering with your family life or your decisions as a couple in particular? For example, if you\u2019re thinking of buying a new car, does your in-law or in-laws tell you that you shouldn\u2019t?<\/p>\n

Est\u00e3o constantemente a impor as suas pr\u00f3prias opini\u00f5es nas suas decis\u00f5es e a dar-lhe conselhos n\u00e3o solicitados? <\/b>If yes, then they\u2019re officially interfering with your marriage, which they shouldn\u2019t be doing.<\/p>\n

If you ask them for advice, then that\u2019s one thing, but if they\u2019re persistent in interfering with your decisions, you\u2019re not obligated to accept this behavior. (Things get worse if your in-laws suffer from daddy issues or problemas mam\u00e3is nas mulheres<\/a>\/homens).<\/p>\n

After all, you\u2019re no longer in <\/b>escola secund\u00e1ria,<\/b> and you\u2019re capable of making your own decisions as a couple. <\/b>If they don\u2019t respect that, then distancing yourself from them is a smart choice.<\/p>\n

3. Menosprezar-te (especialmente em frente dos outros)<\/h3>\n

Os seus sogros utilizam frequentemente <\/i>reuni\u00f5es familiares<\/i> como uma oportunidade para o deitar abaixo em frente de outros <\/i>membros da fam\u00edlia<\/i>? Ou ser\u00e1 que n\u00e3o esperam por ocasi\u00f5es especiais para o fazer, mas fazem-no quase todos os dias em diversas circunst\u00e2ncias?<\/i><\/p>\n

Alguns sogros chegam ao ponto de o envergonhar em <\/b>redes sociais<\/b> com os seus coment\u00e1rios rudes.<\/b><\/p>\n

Este comportamento t\u00f3xico pode ter consequ\u00eancias graves para a sua sa\u00fade mental. Por isso, deve pensar seriamente em implementar o distanciamento.<\/p>\n

4. Falar nas tuas costas<\/h3>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

Alguns adultos nunca amadurecem ou crescem, por isso falar nas suas costas torna-se o seu principal passatempo. Quando estas pessoas fazem parte da sua vida, a sua pr\u00f3pria fam\u00edlia torna-se um fardo em vez de um porto seguro.<\/p>\n

You should never think that gossiping is a normal thing to do. It\u2019s not, and you shouldn\u2019t expect it from your in-laws or other <\/b>membros da fam\u00edlia<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n

If they have something to say to you, it\u2019s best for them to say it face-to-face. Healthy communication is one of the most important things in a marriage and your relationship with your in-laws. If that\u2019s been compromised, then you have every right to retreat and set boundaries.<\/p>\n

5. N\u00e3o quer respeitar os seus limites e a sua privacidade<\/h3>\n

Alguns sogros s\u00e3o muito determinados quando se trata de desrespeitar os seus limites e a sua privacidade. They come to visit whenever they want (uninvited), they don\u2019t accept no for an answer, and your boundaries mean nothing to them.<\/b><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re dealing with these kinds of in-laws, I offer you my sincerest condolences and a potential solution: distancing.<\/p>\n

If that doesn\u2019t work, then you can always go no contact permanently or until they realize the consequences of their actions.<\/b> Nalguns casos, o distanciamento n\u00e3o \u00e9 uma solu\u00e7\u00e3o, mas o corte de la\u00e7os \u00e9 necess\u00e1rio.<\/p>\n

6. Talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there<\/h3>\n

Is there anything more annoying and disrespectful than others talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there? Let me rephrase the question: Do you know what\u2019s worse than talking behind your back?<\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s talking about you as if you aren\u2019t there. I\u2019ve experienced this a few times and can confirm how depersonalizing this behavior can be.<\/p>\n

Se o seu<\/b> os sogros tratam-no como um estranho<\/b><\/a> ao falar de si \u00e0 sua frente, tem todo o direito de se sentir magoado com isso.<\/b> It shows that they don\u2019t have an ounce of respect and appreciation for you. In these and similar cases, distancing is the way to go.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: 9 maneiras de como os amigos destroem os casamentos e o que fazer a respeito<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c9 correto distanciar-se dos sogros?<\/h2>\n

Yes, it\u2019s perfectly okay to distance yourself from-in laws if your relationship with them is not healthy and it\u2019s negatively affecting your marriage and well-being.<\/p>\n

Tenha em aten\u00e7\u00e3o que o distanciamento n\u00e3o \u00e9 a mesma coisa que cortar todo o contacto com os seus sogros. <\/b>Distanciamento significa estabelecer limites, limitar o contacto e implementar outras coisas para que possa estabelecer uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o decente com a pessoa.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re talking about a healthy distance and not a toxic one where both sides hold grudges. Um distanciamento saud\u00e1vel pode fazer maravilhas pelo seu casamento e pela rela\u00e7\u00e3o geral com os seus sogros.<\/b><\/p>\n

However, if you have a good relationship with your in-laws, then there\u2019s no need to distance yourself from them.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: 10 sinais de que voc\u00ea tem uma nora t\u00f3xica e como lidar com ela<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

6 melhores maneiras de se distanciar dos sogros<\/h2>\n

Ser nora ou genro num ambiente familiar t\u00f3xico pode ser extremamente doloroso. Por essa raz\u00e3o, o distanciamento pode ser a coisa certa a fazer, por isso, aqui est\u00e3o algumas dicas \u00fateis sobre como faz\u00ea-lo da forma correcta:<\/p>\n

1. Estabelecer certos limites<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"uma<\/p>\n

Lembro-me de quando a minha melhor amiga teve de lidar com uma sogra t\u00f3xica<\/a>. Um dia, ela disse-me que tinha criado um lista de limites para a sogra<\/a> e outros sogros que estavam a interferir no seu casamento.<\/p>\n

The list was really extensive, and as I was reading it, I realized how toxic her in-laws must be. If you\u2019re going through the same, it\u2019s important to <\/b>estabelecer limites<\/b> com eles.<\/b><\/p>\n

Informe-os sobre as coisas que n\u00e3o s\u00e3o aceit\u00e1veis e estabele\u00e7a regras b\u00e1sicas no que diz respeito aos vossos filhos (se tiverem algum) e \u00e0s visitas.<\/p>\n

Tell them that you won\u2019t tolerate talking behind your back or other toxic behaviors. Setting healthy boundaries is a must.<\/p>\n

2. Separar-se dos seus sogros<\/h3>\n

If you live under the same roof as your toxic in-laws, then it\u2019s time to separate yourself from them. I understand that this is easier said than done, and there are many factors to consider.<\/p>\n

Talvez n\u00e3o tenha para onde ir devido \u00e0 sua situa\u00e7\u00e3o financeira. Ou precisa de ficar com os seus sogros para os ajudar na doen\u00e7a.<\/p>\n

Seja qual for a raz\u00e3o, tente encontrar a melhor solu\u00e7\u00e3o que lhe permita separar-se finalmente dos seus sogros.<\/b> Living in your own household will certainly reduce their impact on your marriage. Trust me, it\u2019s two different worlds.<\/p>\n

3. Falar com o seu parceiro sobre o assunto<\/h3>\n

As always, topics regarding your in-laws should be discussed with your partner. If you aren\u2019t sure how to start this sensitive topic, try something like:<\/p>\n

\u201cDear husband\/wife, I know you love your parents, but I\u2019m having a <\/i>tempo dif\u00edcil<\/i> dealing with their constant criticism and interference in our marriage.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Ser um <\/b>frente unida<\/b> with your partner because that\u2019s the most effective way to deal with these issues.<\/b> Discutam em conjunto os problemas com os vossos sogros e as poss\u00edveis solu\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

Certifique-se de que ambos concordam que o distanciamento ou a aus\u00eancia de contacto \u00e9 uma boa ideia.<\/p>\n

4. Crie um hor\u00e1rio e cumpra-o<\/h3>\n

\"a<\/p>\n

Distanciar-se dos seus sogros significa criar um calend\u00e1rio de eventos familiares, como jantares de fam\u00edlia, piqueniques, etc. Pode limitar os encontros casuais com eles e v\u00ea-los apenas nas grandes reuni\u00f5es familiares.<\/p>\n

Once you create a schedule, stick to it. Also, your in-laws should respect your decisions as a couple because you wouldn\u2019t be doing this in the first place if they had respected you before.<\/p>\n

5. Desapegar-se do seu comportamento<\/h3>\n

Esta \u00e9 provavelmente uma das coisas mais importantes quando se trata de se desligar dos sogros. Em vez de se desligar deles apenas fisicamente, precisa de se desligar tamb\u00e9m mentalmente.<\/p>\n

Isto significa que \u00e9 necess\u00e1rio <\/b>deixar ir<\/b> of their hatred and negative energy. Don\u2019t let their toxic behavior influence your <\/b>autoestima<\/b> e <\/b>bem-estar<\/b>.<\/b> Don\u2019t even bother calling them bad people or criticizing them face-to-face.<\/p>\n

Detach yourself from their behavior and try not to take it personally. Remember that their behavior has nothing to do with you but the internal struggles they\u2019re dealing with.<\/p>\n

6. Aplicar a regra de n\u00e3o contacto (se necess\u00e1rio)<\/h3>\n

Quando a minha melhor amiga teve de lidar com a sua sogra narcisista<\/a>A sua m\u00e3e, o seu pai, o seu sogro e a sua cunhada ficaram de rastos.<\/p>\n

Ela tentou todos os m\u00e9todos, incluindo o estabelecimento de limites (por exemplo, reduzindo <\/b>passar o tempo<\/b> com eles), mas nada funcionou.<\/b><\/p>\n

Por isso, percebeu que a aplica\u00e7\u00e3o da regra de n\u00e3o contacto era a sua melhor aposta.<\/p>\n

Ela <\/b>outra pessoa significativa<\/b> hesitou em faz\u00ea-lo no in\u00edcio, mas depois percebeu que era a \u00fanica solu\u00e7\u00e3o. <\/b>They didn\u2019t regret their decision because, after a while, their in-laws changed for the better.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re in the same situation, don\u2019t hesitate to cut all contact. After some time, you can reconnect with them again to see if anything has changed. If not, then continue with the no contact rule.<\/p>\n

4 coisas a ter em mente quando se distanciar dos sogros<\/h2>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

So, you decided to distance yourself from your in-laws, but you\u2019re not 100% sure about it. There\u2019s still that little voice inside your head telling you: \u201cMaybe you shouldn\u2019t do this.\u201d The following tips will help you make the right choice:<\/p>\n

1. Certifica-te de que conheces os teus sogros primeiro<\/h3>\n

Before distancing yourself from in-laws, make sure you get to know them first. You know what they say: \u201cDon\u2019t judge a book by its cover.\u201d<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, certifique-se de que passa um determinado per\u00edodo de tempo com os seus sogros antes de decidir separar-se ou distanciar-se deles.<\/b><\/p>\n

Maybe they aren\u2019t pessoas t\u00f3xicas<\/a> by default, but they\u2019re just going through a tough period. However, if they\u2019ve mistreated you for some time, there is no excuse for that behavior.<\/p>\n

ALERTA CL\u00cdNICO:<\/b> Ou\u00e7a sempre o seu instinto (e consulte o seu parceiro).<\/p>\n

If your partner agrees with you, then you know you\u2019re not imagining things, and distancing is probably the right thing to do.<\/p>\n

2. Understand and respect your in-laws\u2019 differences<\/h3>\n

Keep in mind that every family has different family dynamics. What\u2019s normal in your family may not be normal in your spouse’s family.<\/p>\n

Because of that, it\u2019s important to understand and respect your differences. Still, this doesn\u2019t mean you should tolerate their terrible behavior toward you and your partner.<\/b><\/p>\n

Learn the difference between differences that can be respected and crappy behavior that shouldn\u2019t be tolerated. Sometimes there\u2019s a thin line between the two.<\/p>\n

3. Tem uma fam\u00edlia com o seu c\u00f4njuge<\/h3>\n

Remember that you and your spouse are your own family. (That\u2019s probably one of the greatest pieces of conselhos matrimoniais<\/a> out there.) This means you shouldn\u2019t let other in-laws be active participants in your everyday decision-making.<\/p>\n

\u00c9 necess\u00e1rio proteger o seu casamento de qualquer interfer\u00eancia indesejada de terceiros. Isto \u00e9 algo que muitos casais esquecem, especialmente se tiveram<\/b> pais superprotectores<\/b><\/a> who turn out to be \u201coverprotective in-laws.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

In a way, they\u2019ve gotten used to their parents deciding things in their life, so now, they don\u2019t know how to detach from this behavior. They need to keep in mind that constantly interfering with other people (be it negative or not) is not normal.<\/p>\n

4. Se tudo o resto falhar, consulte um profissional de sa\u00fade mental<\/h3>\n

If you\u2019ve tried distancing yourself from your in-laws or going no contact with them, but it all failed, then maybe it\u2019s time to seek professional help.<\/p>\n

Existem muitos <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00e3o familiar<\/b> e <\/b>vida conjugal<\/b> therapists who can give you plenty of helpful advice and ways to deal with the situation you\u2019re in.<\/b><\/p>\n

You and your spouse deserve a happy union, so you shouldn\u2019t stop at the first obstacle and let your in-laws continue destroying your happiness and marriage.<\/p>\n

If all else fails, consult a mental health professional, and I\u2019m sure that everything will be fine.<\/p>\n

Considera\u00e7\u00f5es finais<\/h2>\n

Distancing yourself from in-laws is a sensitive topic in itself because some in-laws can be so challenging that even distancing won\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

No entanto, n\u00e3o tem nada a perder se experimentar o m\u00e9todo do distanciamento, pois conhe\u00e7o pessoalmente muitos casais que consideraram este m\u00e9todo \u00fatil.<\/b><\/p>\n

Por vezes, a aus\u00eancia de contacto tamb\u00e9m \u00e9 inevit\u00e1vel. Desejo-vos a melhor das sortes e que tenham um casamento feliz, como deve ser!<\/p>\n

\"Distanciamento<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I always say that marrying someone also means marrying their friends and family. Well, the worst-case scenario in that situation would be ending up with toxic IN-LAWS. I\u2019m sure Jennifer Lopez still has PTSD from making the movie Monster-In-Law, which perfectly depicts how toxic (and funny) relationships with in-laws can be. Don\u2019t get me wrong….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":152226,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29624],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends-and-family"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29624,"label":"friends&family"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/Distancing-Yourself-From-In-Laws-Should-You-Do-It-And-How-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29624,"name":"friends&family","slug":"friends-and-family","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29624,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","parent":29620,"count":316,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29624,"category_count":316,"category_description":"Do you want to improve your relationship with friends and family? Following these tips will help you boost your connection with your favorite people.","cat_name":"friends&family","category_nicename":"friends-and-family","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152223\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/152226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}