![\"mulher](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/pensive-woman-sitting-on-a-stone.png\")
<\/p>\nAmong insecure attachment styles, dismissive-avoidant attachment can be especially hard to spot. At first sight, you appear to have high self-esteem and you\u2019re surrounded by people.<\/p>\n
You appear independent and as someone who doesn\u2019t rely on others for emotional support.<\/b> In reality, all of your relationships are superficial and you don\u2019t form deep bonds with others.<\/p>\n
A autossufici\u00eancia \u00e9 elogiada e a aus\u00eancia de explos\u00f5es emocionais \u00e9 considerada um ponto forte, pelo que pode ser dif\u00edcil aperceber-se de que existe um problema. O senhor e os outros pensam que se trata apenas da sua personalidade e que n\u00e3o \u00e9 algo com que se deva lidar.<\/b><\/p>\n
This kind of attachment pattern has low self-esteem at its core. If, for example, your partner does something that places demands on you and you don\u2019t know how to respond, os seus pensamentos e sentimentos podem entrar numa espiral e lev\u00e1-lo a comportamentos pouco saud\u00e1veis.<\/b><\/p>\n
No entanto, it\u2019s possible to develop a more <\/b>estilo de fixa\u00e7\u00e3o seguro<\/b>. <\/b>Ser capaz de reconhecer, compreender e gerir os est\u00edmulos da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitante pode ajud\u00e1-lo a alcan\u00e7ar uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel consigo pr\u00f3prio e com o seu parceiro rom\u00e2ntico.<\/p>\nComo \u00e9 que os gatilhos da liga\u00e7\u00e3o evitante o afectam<\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
Avoidant attachment style develops when a parent or a caregiver doesn\u2019t meet a child\u2019s needs, but instead leaves them to care for themselves and be independent. A crian\u00e7a \u00e9 desencorajada de procurar apoio emocional <\/b>e aprende a afastar o prestador de cuidados mesmo quando quer estar perto dele.<\/p>\n
Em adulto, <\/b>o evitante desdenhoso<\/b> \u00e9 emocionalmente indispon\u00edvel, demasiado autossuficiente, tem uma <\/b>medo da intimidade<\/b><\/a> e precisa de ter o controlo. <\/b>They don\u2019t understand their needs and feelings, so they suppress them.<\/p>\n If this is your attachment style, when you\u2019re triggered, your beliefs about yourself and your relationship come to the surface, leading to avoidant thoughts and behaviours.<\/p>\n O <\/b>ferida central<\/b> de <\/b>o evitante desdenhoso<\/b> \u00e9 a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o de n\u00e3o ser <\/b>suficientemente bom<\/b>.<\/b> Tem medo de que, se o seu parceiro vir o seu verdadeiro eu, ele o ache insuficiente e o deixe, por isso nunca aprendeu a abrir-se e a exprimir a sua vulnerabilidade. A intimidade emocional parece imposs\u00edvel e a constru\u00e7\u00e3o de rela\u00e7\u00f5es significativas \u00e9 dif\u00edcil.<\/b><\/p>\n Compreender quais s\u00e3o os seus est\u00edmulos e como reage a eles \u00e9 fundamental para aprender a gerir os seus sentimentos e tornar-se capaz de ter um <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00e3o saud\u00e1vel<\/b>. <\/b>Exemplos de reac\u00e7\u00f5es de evitamento ao ser desencadeado s\u00e3o<\/p>\n \u2022 Becoming distant.<\/b> Agir com frieza e desinteresse pelo seu parceiro e fechar-se.<\/p>\n \u2022 Unhealthy coping strategies<\/b>como distrac\u00e7\u00f5es, passar horas nas redes sociais ou a jogar jogos, beber em excesso, etc.<\/p>\n \u2022 Avoiding your <\/b>entes queridos<\/b>.<\/b> Prefere manter-se afastado em vez de os enfrentar, esperando que as coisas se resolvam por si pr\u00f3prias.<\/p>\n - Reprimir os seus sentimentos<\/b><\/a> e fingindo ser forte.<\/p>\n \u2022 Focusing on something you can control<\/b>como o trabalho.<\/p>\n \u2022 Sulking.<\/b> Recusar-se a comunicar, deixando claro que foi injusti\u00e7ado.<\/p>\n \u2022 Trying to provoke your partner<\/b> para provar as suas cren\u00e7as erradas atrav\u00e9s de comportamentos como ser passivo-agressivo.<\/p>\n \u2022 Lashing out.<\/b> A incapacidade de lidar com os seus sentimentos pode deix\u00e1-lo zangado e confuso, pelo que tenta mago\u00e1-los de volta.<\/p>\n \u2022 Ending the relationship.<\/b> Esta rea\u00e7\u00e3o excessiva pode ocorrer quando sentimos a necessidade de abandonar o nosso parceiro antes que ele nos abandone.<\/p>\n Pode ser dif\u00edcil compreender as suas reac\u00e7\u00f5es emocionais aos seus est\u00edmulos, pelo que aprender a reparar nos seus comportamentos pode ser \u00fatil. The path to understanding your triggers is identifying what you\u2019re like when you\u2019re triggered.<\/b><\/p>\n You might recognize yourself in some of the above behaviors or you already know how you act when you don\u2019t like a certain situation. Once you\u2019re able to recognize how you behave, you can start paying attention to how you feel during and after being triggered and examining your feelings.<\/p>\n Even though insecure attachment styles in adults start during childhood, it\u2019s still possible to change how you feel and act in a relationship.<\/p>\n Aprender a reconhecer, compreender e gerir <\/b>factores desencadeadores da liga\u00e7\u00e3o evitante<\/b> ajuda-o a substituir um conjunto de pensamentos, sentimentos e comportamentos prejudiciais por um conjunto saud\u00e1vel.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to understand that cada indiv\u00edduo tem os seus pr\u00f3prios gatilhos<\/b>, even though they may be reactions to the same feelings. For instance, your partner asking you to do an activity with them that you don\u2019t want to do might be okay, while for another pessoa com vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitante<\/a> pode causar uma rea\u00e7\u00e3o negativa.<\/p>\n The following list will give you a general idea of what to look out for, but it\u2019s important to identify how all of these triggers look in your particular situation.<\/p>\n Ningu\u00e9m gosta de ser criticado, exceto os que evitam a cr\u00edtica, a cr\u00edtica pessoal \u00e9 a prova dos seus maiores medos<\/b>. Being criticized by anyone, but especially by your partner, feels like proof that you\u2019re defective and n\u00e3o \u00e9 suficientemente bom<\/a>. Isto \u00e9 profundo e faz-nos sentir envergonhados, pelo que nos fechamos.<\/p>\n You couldn\u2019t rely on your caregivers as a child, so you have a deep need to rely on your partner. \u00c9 preciso sentir-se seguro e saber o que esperar.<\/b> When you feel insecure in your relationship, it\u2019s not uncommon that you want to or even try to end it, believing that if you leave them first, they can\u2019t leave you<\/b>.<\/p>\n Because your caregivers didn\u2019t give you emotional support when you needed it, you feel like your needs don\u2019t matter. This is the reason why ysentes que tens de fazer tudo sozinho e a fonte da tua autossufici\u00eancia<\/b>. If you don\u2019t need anything from anyone, you feel like it\u2019s okay when you don\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n Porque teme a rejei\u00e7\u00e3o, constr\u00f3i muros para manter toda a gente afastada. A dist\u00e2ncia emocional \u00e9 uma forma de se proteger de expor o seu eu mais \u00edntimo, do qual se sente profundamente envergonhado. A tua ferida mais profunda \u00e9 a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o de n\u00e3o seres <\/b>suficientemente bom<\/b>, and you\u2019re terrified of your partner seeing it <\/b>se nos abrirmos para eles<\/b><\/a>.<\/b><\/p>\n You\u2019re used to being independent, so when your partner demands that you do something, it can make you feel controlled. This often leads to lashing out because you\u2019re used to doing things your way and you\u2019ll insist on your independence.<\/p>\n When your partner places expectations on you, it makes you feel trapped because you don\u2019t know how to respond. Aprendeu que cada um \u00e9 respons\u00e1vel por satisfazer as suas pr\u00f3prias necessidades<\/b>, so when you\u2019re expected to provide something you don\u2019t know how to give, you feel confused and withdraw.<\/p>\n When you go out of your way to be closer to your partner and they don\u2019t acknowledge it in the way you need them to, you might shut down and give up entirely. Isto \u00e9 causado por <\/b>a sua necessidade de <\/b>valida\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b><\/a> para refutar os seus sentimentos de inadequa\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/b> If what you have to offer isn\u2019t enough, it confirms that you\u2019re<\/i> not enough, so what\u2019s the point in trying?<\/p>\n Being faced with intense emotions makes you panic because you were taught that they\u2019re unwanted. Regardless whether these feelings are yours or someone else\u2019s, you don\u2019t know how to handle them. <\/b>You don\u2019t feel equipped to respond to your partner\u2019s feelings, and if you\u2019re the one who is intensely emotional, you\u2019re afraid of being judged for it.<\/p>\n Tente recordar situa\u00e7\u00f5es em que sentiu vontade de se afastar do seu parceiro ou de o atacar por n\u00e3o ser capaz de o compreender. Partindo do seu comportamento, tente identificar o que o causou.<\/b><\/p>\n This way, you can try to react in a more constructive way the next time you\u2019re faced with a similar situation. The process of dealing with your attachment issues can take a long period of time, but o primeiro passo \u00e9 sempre a vontade de mudar<\/b>.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how to start managing your emotions.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re feeling like you want to disconnect, writing down how you feel can be immensely helpful. Use this method to clarify what you\u2019re feeling.<\/b><\/p>\n Pode ter dificuldade em encontrar as palavras certas para descrever os seus sentimentos, por isso, em vez de tentar ser espec\u00edfico, pegue na caneta e escreva o que lhe vier \u00e0 cabe\u00e7a. \u00c0 medida que vai escrevendo, os seus verdadeiros sentimentos v\u00e3o surgindo.<\/p>\n This method is useful, but it\u2019s difficult to see through. <\/b>Pode sentir a necessidade de desistir assim que os seus verdadeiros medos vierem \u00e0 superf\u00edcie, mas se persistir e os enfrentar, ser\u00e1 mais f\u00e1cil at\u00e9 conseguir aceit\u00e1-los e lidar com eles. Quando for capaz de se abrir consigo pr\u00f3prio, pode tentar abrir-se com os outros.<\/p>\n As a child, when you needed emotional support from your caregivers, it wasn\u2019t available and you had to learn to somehow deal with your feelings on your own. Um dos seus mecanismos de sobreviv\u00eancia \u00e9 ignorar os seus sentimentos.<\/b><\/p>\n You\u2019ve tried to learn not to feel, but this is impossible. So, instead of getting rid of your emotions, you became disconnected from them. In a way, you feel more deeply than someone who\u2019s in touch with their emotions<\/b> \u2013 you don\u2019t know how to manage your feelings, so they control your thoughts and actions.<\/p>\n \u00c9 por isso que tem de aprender a explorar os seus sentimentos, a ligar-se a eles e a aceit\u00e1-los.<\/p>\n When your partner asks something of you that you don\u2019t know how to give them, your inner voice might tell you that, because you can\u2019t do it, you\u2019re worthless<\/a>Se n\u00e3o o fizerem, a vossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o est\u00e1 condenada e, mais cedo ou mais tarde, v\u00e3o rejeit\u00e1-lo. Ent\u00e3o, em vez de discutir o assunto com o seu parceiro, fecha-se.<\/b><\/p>\n This is an example of automatic negative thoughts that might arise because you don\u2019t know how to respond to your feelings.<\/p>\n A maneira de parar o pensamento negativo \u00e9 escolher desafi\u00e1-lo. <\/b>Whenever you notice that you\u2019re interpreting a situation beyond what\u2019s happening on the surface, try to think of how you can prove these thoughts wrong.<\/p>\n This seems difficult because you\u2019re afraid of being rejected if you show your feelings to your partner, but it can be made easier if you take it one step at a time. You don\u2019t need to bare your soul when communicating, only be honest about how you\u2019re feeling at the moment.<\/b><\/p>\n There\u2019s no need to approach communication as some big gesture of revealing your deepest soul, only deixar de reprimir os seus sentimentos<\/b>. Isto significa dizer ao seu parceiro quando ele o desencadeia de alguma forma, fazendo-o consciente dos seus limites<\/a> e escolher n\u00e3o esconder o que se sente.<\/p>\n Uma pessoa com um estilo de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o evitante pode obter benef\u00edcios significativos do conhecimento que a terapia pode proporcionar. A terapia pode melhorar a sua <\/b>bem-estar<\/b>desde que o fa\u00e7a com determina\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/b><\/p>\n Opening up is what you\u2019re most afraid of, so it will take an enormous amount of willingness to change. It\u2019s hard work, but the assistance you get from your therapist can ajud\u00e1-lo a aprender a gerir os seus sentimentos, a aceitar-se a si pr\u00f3prio e a deixar de fugir das liga\u00e7\u00f5es emocionais.<\/b><\/p>\n A relationship with an avoidant partner might be challenging because of their difficulty to be emotionally intimate. Their reluctance to open up doesn\u2019t mean that they don\u2019t want to do it or that they don\u2019t love you, but it\u2019s related to their fear that they\u2019re not good enough.<\/p>\n Eis algumas estrat\u00e9gias para se ligar a um parceiro evitante.<\/p>\n \u2022 Make them feel safe.<\/b> If they\u2019re feeling accepted and understood, they won\u2019t feel the need to hide and withdraw.<\/p>\n \u2022 Be patient. <\/b>Tente compreender o seu ponto de vista e d\u00ea-lhe espa\u00e7o para se exprimir.<\/p>\n \u2022 Validate their feelings. <\/b>Os evitadores t\u00eam dificuldade em expressar os seus sentimentos e necessidades, por isso, quando o fizerem, certifique-se de que ouve e aceita o que eles sentem.<\/p>\n \u2022 Avoid criticism. <\/b>When enforcing boundaries, instead of making statements that feel like you\u2019re criticizing them, try to point out a specific behavior that you don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n \u2022 Communicate clearly.<\/b> Don\u2019t give them ultimatums, because they will immediately withdraw. Don\u2019t expect them to understand anything that\u2019s implied, but instead, spell out exactly what you want to say.<\/p>\n \u2022 Don’t make demands. <\/b>An avoidant’s knee-jerk reaction will be to shut you out if they don’t know how to fulfill what you asked for.<\/p>\n - Ser compreensivo<\/b><\/a> if they don’t know how to meet your needs. They learned that everyone is responsible for their own needs, so they have trouble asking to have their own met by another person and responding to someone else’s needs.<\/p>\n Teoria da vincula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/b> \u00e9 uma teoria psicol\u00f3gica que se ocupa das rela\u00e7\u00f5es humanas.<\/b><\/p>\n Foi originalmente desenvolvido pelo psiquiatra John Bowlby para analisar a forma como os beb\u00e9s se ligam aos seus cuidadores.<\/p>\n A psic\u00f3loga do desenvolvimento Mary Ainsworth classificou os padr\u00f5es de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o encontrados em crian\u00e7as pequenas como seguro ou inseguro, consoante o beb\u00e9 acreditasse que podia confiar no seu <\/b>cuidadores<\/b> para lhes dar amor e apoio.<\/b><\/p>\n As crian\u00e7as desenvolvem uma liga\u00e7\u00e3o segura se tiverem uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o pr\u00f3xima com um prestador de cuidados e se sentirem confiantes de que o prestador de cuidados estar\u00e1 dispon\u00edvel quando o beb\u00e9 precisar dele. Estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o inseguros<\/b> \u2013<\/b> ansioso-ambivalente<\/b><\/a>,<\/b> ansioso-evitante<\/b><\/a> ou<\/b> desorganizado<\/b><\/a> \u2013 develop if the child is uncertain, faced rejection or their <\/b>cuidadores<\/b> eram imprevis\u00edveis, respetivamente.<\/b><\/p>\n Children\u2019s attachment styles extend into adult relationships as they grow up. O apego aos seus <\/b>cuidadores<\/b> reflecte-se na liga\u00e7\u00e3o aos seus parceiros em <\/b>rela\u00e7\u00f5es rom\u00e2nticas<\/b>.<\/b><\/p>\n Da mesma forma que com as crian\u00e7as, estilos de vincula\u00e7\u00e3o dos adultos<\/a> develop as secure or insecure attachment types, even though childhood experience isn\u2019t the only factor in their development.<\/p>\n \u2022 Secure attachment style<\/b>:<\/b> Securely attached adults understand their own and their partner\u2019s feelings and needs and know how to communicate with their partners. They\u2019re capable of forming meaningful connections.<\/b><\/p>\n8 Padr\u00f5es de Accionadores da Vincula\u00e7\u00e3o Evitante<\/h2>\n
1. Cr\u00edtica<\/h3>\n
![\"a](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/the-woman-looks-at-the-man-while-they-are-talking.png\")
<\/p>\n2. Imprevisibilidade<\/h3>\n
3. Ter de depender de algu\u00e9m<\/h3>\n
4. Press\u00e3o para abrir<\/h3>\n
![\"uma](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/a-beautiful-woman-is-sitting-at-the-table.png\")
<\/p>\n5. Exig\u00eancias<\/h3>\n
6. Expectativas<\/h3>\n
7. Feeling like your efforts don’t matter<\/h3>\n
8. Emo\u00e7\u00f5es intensas<\/h3>\n
5 formas de lidar com os est\u00edmulos da liga\u00e7\u00e3o evitante<\/h2>\n
![\"uma](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/a-woman-sits-by-the-window-and-writes.png\")
<\/p>\n1. Escreve os teus sentimentos<\/h3>\n
2. Ligue-se \u00e0s suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es<\/h3>\n
3. Reconhecer o pensamento negativo<\/h3>\n
4. Comunicar com os seus entes queridos<\/h3>\n
5. Procurar terapia<\/h3>\n
Lidar com o apego evitante de um parceiro<\/h2>\n
![\"uma](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/a-woman-with-her-hair-tied-in-a-ponytail-is-talking-to-a-man.png\")
<\/p>\nO que \u00e9 a Teoria da Vincula\u00e7\u00e3o?<\/h2>\n
![\"um](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/a-man-with-glasses-on-his-head-is-talking-to-a-woman.png\")
<\/p>\n