{"id":157485,"date":"2022-09-01T05:09:55","date_gmt":"2022-09-01T05:09:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=157485"},"modified":"2022-12-01T11:43:40","modified_gmt":"2022-12-01T11:43:40","slug":"ghosting-apos-o-primeiro-encontro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/ghosting-apos-o-primeiro-encontro\/","title":{"rendered":"Ghosting ap\u00f3s o primeiro encontro: Porque \u00e9 que acontece e como lidar com isso"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ser-se v\u00edtima de um ghosting \u00e9 terr\u00edvel. Ficamos com um monte de pontos de interroga\u00e7\u00e3o na cabe\u00e7a e sem nenhuma resposta \u00e0 vista.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But you know what\u2019s even worse? Ghosting after first date!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Achou que o primeiro encontro tinha sido \u00f3timo e estava ansioso por voltar a v\u00ea-los. E estava convencido de que eles sentiam o mesmo.<\/p>\n

However, after sending them a couple of texts, all you got was silence. Was it really that bad? And why didn\u2019t they tell you they didn\u2019t like you?<\/p>\n

Por que \u00e9 que as pessoas se tornam fantasmas de outras pessoas? E qual \u00e9 a melhor forma de lidar com o ghosting?<\/p>\n

Continue a ler para descobrir!<\/p>\n

Ghosting depois do primeiro encontro: 12 raz\u00f5es para isso acontecer<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t present on your date, so I can\u2019t give you a clear answer to why you got ghosted. But what I can offer are 12 common reasons why ghosting happens.<\/p>\n

1. S\u00e3o infi\u00e9is<\/h3>\n

The first possible reason why ghosting after first date happens is that you\u2019re the outra mulher<\/a> ou o outro homem. Claro que n\u00e3o faz ideia de que o seu par j\u00e1 \u00e9 casado ou comprometido. Eles tentaram engan\u00e1-lo e disseram-lhe que eram solteiros e estavam prontos para se misturar.<\/p>\n

However, the truth is that they tried to cheat on their primary partner with you. Of course, they didn\u2019t want to be honest about their relationship status until they were sure you\u2019d fallen for them.<\/p>\n

Tentaram, mas falharam. Porque \u00e9 que desapareceram?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, maybe they got caught and are dealing with this huge drama back at home. In that case, you\u2019re the last thing on their mind.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or they just realized you wouldn\u2019t be the best affair partner in the world. They came to the conclusion that you wouldn\u2019t provide them with the secrecy they need or just that you wouldn\u2019t agree to be the third person.<\/p>\n

2. They didn\u2019t like your looks<\/h3>\n

This is a hard pill to swallow, but maybe they ghosted you because they didn\u2019t like your appearance. This usually happens when you meet someone for the first time in person after a lot of online dating.<\/p>\n

If you two matched on a dating app or just talked on social media\u2014 it is possible that they didn\u2019t like what they saw when you two went out on a date.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014 I\u2019m not saying that you don\u2019t look similar on social media and in real life. But the truth is that we\u2019re all more attractive on our dating app profiles.<\/p>\n

No, this doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you\u2019re unattractive. You\u2019re just not their type, or they think that you two wouldn\u2019t make it a good couple physically. Don\u2019t take it personally, and don\u2019t let something like this ruin your self-esteem.<\/p>\n

3. They weren\u2019t into your personality<\/h3>\n

Or maybe they simply didn\u2019t like your personality? It doesn\u2019t mean you displayed any bad behavior, and you might think that you two had a great first date.<\/p>\n

However, the other person clearly doesn\u2019t see you two as compatible. It certainly doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t have some amazing traits and qualities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

E mesmo que fosse realmente um bom encontro<\/a>algo no seu car\u00e1cter os desmotivou.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, I know what you must be thinking. It would be hell easier if they could tell you what’s wrong, so you don\u2019t repeat your mistakes.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s exactly why people ghost\u2014 so they don\u2019t have to explain themselves.<\/p>\n

4. Intimida-os<\/h3>\n

Este \u00e9 normalmente um dos principais raz\u00f5es que levam os homens a fantasiar as mulheres<\/a> depois de um bom primeiro encontro: acobardam-se. Voc\u00eas conheceram-se e tudo estava a correr bem at\u00e9 ao dia seguinte, quando ele acordou e percebeu que voc\u00ea tinha mais sucesso do que ele.<\/p>\n

Or maybe you are more attractive, make more money or just have a better place in the social hierarchy. Either way, this guy came to the conclusion that you\u2019re out of his league. He is intimidado por ti!<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

He can\u2019t handle it and being next to you is destroying his self-esteem. But naturally, he won\u2019t tell you that you\u2019re too much for him\u2014 or to put things this way, that he\u2019s too little for you.<\/p>\n

Instead, you\u2019ll just get radio silence. No phone calls, no text messages, nothing.<\/p>\n

Desta forma, ele tem a oportunidade de se sentir melhor consigo pr\u00f3prio e de restaurar o seu ego destru\u00eddo.<\/p>\n

5. Reataram com o(a) ex<\/h3>\n

Here\u2019s another common reason for ghosting after first date: the other person is in a long-term relationship. Actually, let\u2019s put things right: tecnicamente, eles estavam separados (ou a dar um tempo) quando voc\u00eas sa\u00edram para um encontro.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The person who ghosted you was single at the time of your date. But they were emotionally unavailable\u2014 that\u2019s for sure.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Talvez estivessem \u00e0 procura de formas de se vingarem do ex. Ou viram-na como a oportunidade perfeita para uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o de ricochete.<\/p>\n

Seja como for, o que interessa \u00e9 que resultou. Eles voltaram a juntar-se com o ex e esqueceram que tu exististe.<\/p>\n

Azar, eu sei. Mas, ei, que sorte que aconteceu logo!<\/p>\n

6. Eles s\u00f3 queriam dar uma queca<\/h3>\n

So, you two met on Tinder, Hinge, or some other dating app. Or they approached you in person\u2014 it doesn\u2019t really matter.<\/p>\n

The point is the same: they had only one thing in mind\u2014 they planned on para te levar para a cama.<\/a> Of course, they didn\u2019t have the decency or the courage to propose casual sex upfront.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, they probably sent you a bunch of romantic text messages and lied that they wanted something serious. Sadly, you didn\u2019t notice the red flags, and you fell right into their trap.<\/p>\n

But when you finally went out on a date, they noticed that you two clearly don\u2019t want the same things. You\u2019re not into anything casual, and you\u2019re looking for real love.<\/p>\n

Do ponto de vista deles, neste caso, o ghosting de algu\u00e9m parece melhor do que dizer-lhes as suas verdadeiras inten\u00e7\u00f5es.<\/p>\n

7. You\u2019ve been catfished<\/h3>\n

When you think of catfishing, I know what comes to your mind. You think of a fake Tinder, Hinge, or social media account. We all know the drill: they take someone else\u2019s photos and information and trick you into going out with them or just texting them.<\/p>\n

But you two already had your first date. You\u2019ve met this person who ghosted you, and they really do look the same as in their photos.<\/p>\n

No entanto, podem estar a fazer \"catfishing\". Is it possible that they\u2019ve given you false information about themselves?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019ve gotten their real name, and that\u2019s about it. They lied about their age, job, and everything else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, they\u2019ve realized that they\u2019re playing with fire. They could get caught easily, and that\u2019s why they chose to disappear.<\/p>\n

8. They don\u2019t want to hurt your feelings<\/h3>\n

\"duas<\/p>\n

Ghosting someone is awful, toxic, and disrespectful\u2014 nobody can question that. And even though I\u2019m not here to defend your ghoster, let\u2019s try looking at things from their perspective.<\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t do the right thing, and I\u2019m not trying to argue against that. But that doesn\u2019t automatically make them an insensible jerk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe they didn\u2019t tell you the real reasons why they don\u2019t like it because they didn\u2019t want to hurt your feelings. I know that this is not the way to do it, but it\u2019s the way they chose.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At the end of the day, it\u2019s easier for you to be angry at them and to see them as an asshole who didn\u2019t have the decency to send you a texto de volta<\/a> than to hear them tell you they don\u2019t like you.<\/p>\n

Once again, no dating coach will tell you that their logic resonates with common sense. But it is what goes through a lot of people\u2019s minds when they decide to ghost someone.<\/p>\n

9. Conheceram outra pessoa<\/h3>\n

A lot of people engage in the act of ghosting after first date simply because they meet someone new before the second date with you. In this case, they won\u2019t ghost you right away.<\/p>\n

Instead, you\u2019ll be getting phone calls and a text back every once in a while, like everything is in perfect order. But all of a sudden, you\u2019ll notice they start making excuses when you ask them when you\u2019ll meet up for the next date.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it obvious that they\u2019ve lost interest in the meantime? And the only reason that could happen is that someone who captured their attention entered their life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Please, don\u2019t compare yourself to this new person. Don\u2019t go through their social media, looking for clues about someone new. It\u2019s their choice, and you should respect it.<\/p>\n

10. You\u2019ve given them the ick<\/h3>\n

Sabes o que significa \"ficar doente\", certo? Acontece mesmo em rela\u00e7\u00f5es duradouras, quando se ama o parceiro at\u00e9 \u00e0 lua e vice-versa.<\/p>\n

E, de repente, fazem algo que nos deixa completamente enojados. N\u00e3o \u00e9 l\u00f3gico e, na maioria dos casos, n\u00e3o faz qualquer sentido. <\/strong>No entanto, essa \u00fanica coisa que eles dizem ou fazem d\u00e1-lhe a a maior desilus\u00e3o de sempre<\/a>e n\u00e3o h\u00e1 muito que se possa fazer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019m sorry to break it to you, but you\u2019re the one who\u2019s given the other person the ick. You did something you\u2019re not even aware of, and that killed all the attraction this person felt for you.<\/p>\n

Why didn\u2019t they say anything? Well, deep down, they know they\u2019re being irrational.<\/p>\n

I mean, you can\u2019t say to someone you don\u2019t want to see them anymore because of the way they ate their spaghetti. Well, technically, you can, but you\u2019ll look like a lunatic. So, they choose radio silence instead.<\/p>\n

11. They don\u2019t care about your feelings<\/h3>\n

We\u2019ve already talked about ghosters who ghost you because they don\u2019t want to break your heart. Well, those are the good ones.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, there are those who don\u2019t give a damn about your emotions. And that\u2019s one of the reasons for ghosting after first date.<\/strong><\/p>\n

They don\u2019t care about the way their disappearance made you feel. They don\u2019t care whether you\u2019ll wonder what to do when you don\u2019t get a text back<\/a>, what went wrong; if you\u2019ll blame yourself, and how this will affect your self-esteem, insecurities, or love life in the future.<\/p>\n

They just see this as the easier way out of this uncomfortable situation they\u2019ve gotten themselves into.<\/p>\n

12. Eles t\u00eam muita coisa a acontecer<\/h3>\n

Finally, one of the reasons for someone ghosting after first date might not have anything to do with you or with your romantic connection at all. In fact, maybe you didn\u2019t get ghosted in the first place.<\/p>\n

Well, technically, they did disappear. So, let me rephrase this: maybe they didn\u2019t have the intention of ghosting you in the first place.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just that your date has a lot going on in their life. Maybe they\u2019re going through a family emergency or having a work crisis. Maybe their loved one passed away, or they ended up in hospital.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know what you must think right now: no matter what happened, there is no way they didn\u2019t have enough time to send a text back. And you would be absolutely right\u2014 if you two were in a long-term relationship.<\/p>\n

However, you have to remember one thing: you went out on one great first date only. So the last thing they want is to bother you with their personal issues. Besides, truth be told, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re even crossing their mind right now.<\/p>\n

Ver tamb\u00e9m: Ele mandou uma mensagem depois do primeiro encontro, mas n\u00e3o mandou mais? Eis o que se passa<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ghosting depois do primeiro encontro: como lidar com isso<\/h2>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Eis um guia passo-a-passo pormenorizado sobre como lidar com o ghosting:<\/a><\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t blame yourself<\/h3>\n

A pior coisa que pode fazer \u00e9 culpar-se a si pr\u00f3prio pelo ato de \"ghosting\" ap\u00f3s o primeiro encontro.<\/p>\n

Fui suficientemente bom? Terei feito alguma coisa para os afastar?<\/p>\n

Could I have done something to prevent this from happening? Should I have dressed differently? Was it my perfume that they didn\u2019t like?<\/p>\n

Era a forma como me ria? A forma como falei?<\/p>\n

What if I didn\u2019t send that text? Would things have turned out differently? Or maybe I should have texted them more?<\/p>\n

These are all the questions going through your head when dealing with a ghoster. But guess what: it\u2019s all pointless.<\/p>\n

Eles t\u00eam as suas raz\u00f5es para agir assim e provavelmente n\u00e3o h\u00e1 nada que pudesse ter feito para o evitar. Al\u00e9m disso, o que est\u00e1 feito est\u00e1 feito. <\/strong>You can\u2019t go back in time, can you now?<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Accept that you won\u2019t get closure<\/h3>\n

The truth is that you\u2019ll never find the real reasons why you got ghosted. You can only guess and accept one of the reasons listed above, but you\u2019ll never get real confirmation from the other person.<\/p>\n

And whether you like it or not, you\u2019ll never obter o fecho<\/a> you\u2019re craving. You\u2019ll never find out what happened, and you just have to live with it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stop looking for closure. I know that you want it, but you ain\u2019t getting it. and that\u2019s the reality you must accept.<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t text or call them<\/h3>\n

So this should be common sense, but I\u2019ll emphasize it anyway. N\u00e3o \u00e9 permitido, em circunst\u00e2ncia alguma, contactar o seu par desta ou daquela forma.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This includes text messages, phone calls, social media DMs, and everything else. If you do any of this, you\u2019ll only appear desperate. Yes, you feel desperate. I know that, but your date doesn\u2019t have to<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014 I\u2019m not saying that you\u2019re not allowed to contact them right away. It\u2019s okay if you send them one text a few days after your date.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t accuse them of anything, and don\u2019t think of begging them for a reply. Just act casual and careless.<\/p>\n

Ask them if everything is okay and tell them that you were wondering what they\u2019ve been up to. You can also mention a second date in this text.<\/p>\n

However, if you don\u2019t get a reply at that point, everything is clear. Any message after that would smell like desperation.<\/p>\n

4. Cortar o contacto com essa pessoa<\/h3>\n

Nevertheless, not texting and calling your ghoster won\u2019t be enough. It would be best if you could cut them off your life for good.<\/p>\n

I know what you must be thinking right now. If you unfollow them on social media, they\u2019ll get the impression that you\u2019re offended.<\/p>\n

Well, you are. And with full right to be! You don\u2019t tolerate disrespect, and you\u2019re not scared to make it very clear.<\/p>\n

Por conseguinte, o passo seguinte \u00e9 bloquear o n\u00famero de telefone da pessoa, deixar de ser amigo dela em todas as aplica\u00e7\u00f5es das redes sociais e evitar qualquer contacto com ela.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Porque \u00e9 que isto \u00e9 necess\u00e1rio? Bem, a \u00faltima coisa que quer \u00e9 que essa pessoa tenha acesso a si no futuro.<\/p>\n

H\u00e1 que saber uma coisa: os fantasmas tentam sempre voltar!<\/a><\/p>\n

Who knows? Maybe they\u2019ll remember you the next time they are lonely, or they break up with their long-term partner. They\u2019ll enviar-lhe uma mensagem de texto<\/a> ou fazer um telefonema quando menos se espera.<\/p>\n

Sabe como fazer com que se arrependam de o terem abandonado<\/a>? Don\u2019t give them a chance to reach out to you whenever they want. And don\u2019t put yourself in the temptation to text them back.<\/p>\n

Besides, they\u2019re immature and disrespectful. And that is not the type of person you want near you.<\/p>\n

5. Concentrar-se em si pr\u00f3prio<\/h3>\n

Em vez de pensar demasiado em toda esta situa\u00e7\u00e3o, a melhor maneira de curar \u00e9 concentrar-se em si pr\u00f3prio<\/a>. O que aconteceu pertence ao passado, pelo que deve concentrar-se no presente e no futuro.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, this won\u2019t become a pattern. It certainly doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll get ghosted the next time you go out on a date with someone.<\/p>\n

Mas podes ver isto como uma oportunidade de auto-progresso. Tornar-se um namorado\/namorada material, e a melhor maneira de o fazer \u00e9 ama-te a ti pr\u00f3prio<\/a> mais do que nunca.<\/p>\n

Quanto tempo \u00e9 que isso demora a ser considerado um ghosting?<\/h2>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

Antes de mais, \u00e9 preciso ter a certeza de que o ato de ghosting ap\u00f3s o primeiro encontro aconteceu. Quanto tempo passou desde a \u00faltima vez que a pessoa entrou em contacto consigo?<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t count as ghosting if they didn\u2019t return your phone call the very next day.<\/strong> Yes, it\u2019s rude, and they\u2019re probably playing hot and cold mind games. However, it is not ghosting.<\/p>\n

Por outro lado, if you haven\u2019t heard from them in more than three days\u2014 you\u2019ve been ghosted.<\/strong> Isto na condi\u00e7\u00e3o de ter tentado contact\u00e1-lo mas n\u00e3o ter obtido resposta.<\/p>\n

Yes, you can give them the benefit of the doubt and wait a whole week, but at that point, the reality is that they\u2019re a ghoster.<\/p>\n

Devo enviar uma mensagem de texto depois de ter sido alvo de um ghosting?<\/h2>\n

Todos os treinadores de encontros dir-lhe-\u00e3o o mesmo: don\u2019t text first after being ghosted. Their silent treatment is resposta suficiente<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve sent a couple of texts after your date. You\u2019ve even invited them to meet up again. And you got no reply.<\/p>\n

I know you want to express your anger and pain. You want to insult them, call them names, or you\u2019ve come up with a witty resposta de fantasma<\/a> que os possa inspirar a enviar-lhe uma mensagem de volta.<\/p>\n

But what would be the point of it? This person clearly doesn\u2019t want to continue your romance (which hasn\u2019t even started in the first place), and you should accept their decision with dignity.<\/p>\n

What about the fact that they never had the dignity to tell you that in person? Well, that\u2019s their problem.<\/p>\n

Para terminar:<\/h2>\n

Now you know one crucial thing: ghosting after first date happens, but it\u2019s not the end of the world\u2014 that is, unless you decide to see it that way.<\/p>\n

Eu sei que v\u00ea isto como a pior experi\u00eancia poss\u00edvel que j\u00e1 teve. Quero dizer, quem \u00e9 que gosta de ser v\u00edtima de um fantasma?<\/strong><\/p>\n

But instead of seeing it as a curse, try seeing it as a blessing in disguise. You\u2019ve managed to get rid of someone who was never worthy of your time, energy, or effort.<\/strong><\/p>\n

E tudo o que tiveste de desperdi\u00e7ar foi um encontro. Como te sentirias se eles desapareceu da sua vida ap\u00f3s anos<\/a> passados juntos? Isso tamb\u00e9m acontece. E d\u00f3i muito mais.<\/p>\n

Most importantly, I advise you to see this as a lesson. Yes, there are some bad people out there. People who don\u2019t give a damn about the hearts they break along the way.<\/p>\n

People who don\u2019t have the decency to say goodbye or to tell you the real reason why they\u2019re leaving. But you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you get to your Prince or Princess.<\/p>\n

Now you know what it is that you don\u2019t want. Moreover, you know who you never want to become.<\/p>\n

\"Ghosting<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Getting ghosted feels terrible. You\u2019re left with a bunch of question marks above your head and without any answers in sight. But you know what\u2019s even worse? Ghosting after first date! You thought it was a great first date, and you were looking forward to seeing them again. And you were convinced they felt the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":157516,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29622],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-157485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29622,"label":"relationship advice"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Ghosting-After-First-Date-Why-It-Happens-And-How-To-Handle-It-1024x683.jpg",1024,683,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29622,"name":"relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29622,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","parent":29620,"count":544,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29622,"category_count":544,"category_description":"Making all aspects of your relationship work is one of the biggest challenges. Here, you can find advice for most of the issues you might encounter. ","cat_name":"relationship advice","category_nicename":"relationship-advice","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157485","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=157485"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157485\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/157516"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=157485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=157485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=157485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}