{"id":164949,"date":"2024-05-29T08:21:17","date_gmt":"2024-05-29T08:21:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=164949"},"modified":"2024-05-29T08:21:19","modified_gmt":"2024-05-29T08:21:19","slug":"a-familia-odeia-a-mae-mas-quer-passar-tempo-com-os-filhos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/a-familia-odeia-a-mae-mas-quer-passar-tempo-com-os-filhos\/","title":{"rendered":"Mulher gr\u00e1vida pro\u00edbe os familiares que n\u00e3o gostam dela de terem contacto com os seus filhos"},"content":{"rendered":"

Um dia fiquei muito aborrecido porque Ouvi alguns coment\u00e1rios horr\u00edveis que a minha sogra tinha feito sobre mim<\/strong>. She was speaking to her friend on the phone and didn\u2019t realize I had entered the room and was standing behind her the whole time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e3o fazia ideia de que ela me desprezava assim tanto e fiquei chocado ao descobrir.<\/strong> Depois senti-me confusa porque ela disse que amava tanto os netos e ao mesmo tempo odiava a mulher que os tinha dado \u00e0 luz. Quero dizer, como?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pouco depois, deparei-me com um posto<\/a> no TikTok sobre este tipo de assunto. Uma jovem futura mam\u00e3, chamada Tyler, partilhou os seus pensamentos e emo\u00e7\u00f5es relativamente a quest\u00f5es espec\u00edficas de relacionamento.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou openly despise me!\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Tyler come\u00e7ou a falar num tom bastante irado, com uma gesticula\u00e7\u00e3o en\u00e9rgica. A barriga do terceiro semestre tamb\u00e9m estava bem vis\u00edvel no enquadramento. Continuou a dar perspectivas aprofundadas de rela\u00e7\u00f5es imagin\u00e1rias com a fam\u00edlia, amigos ou qualquer outra pessoa, basicamente:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cYou call me names and you put me down. You don\u2019t support me. You want nothing to do with me\u2026 You just don\u2019t like me, and you let me know you don\u2019t like me.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The body language made it obvious Tyler was hurt but she didn\u2019t want to point her finger to anyone specific. She underlines her words (sadly!) can be applied to anyone: be it a stranger on the street or a close family member. Then she continues why their standpoint has absolutely no sense!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cYou let other people know. And at the end of the day, you still feel as though, regardless of how you treat me\u2026 regardless of the relationship, or no relationship, that we have, you still think you should go around that nasty relationship you\u2019ve developed with me, and still be able to have access to my children.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd you want to be close to my kids? No way!\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The way moms react to disrespectful behavior has changed, and it doesn\u2019t matter where or from whom the behavior comes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cRegardless of your relationship with somebody \u2014 regardless if you are a grandma, a grandpa, a great grandma, a great grandpa, an aunt, uncle, brother or sister \u2014 you have no entitlement in life, and I\u2019m sorry if that\u2019s how you old school people grew up, but that is not how we roll now.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Ao apresentar um cen\u00e1rio imagin\u00e1rio em que ela e a sua amiga Savannah tinham tido alguns desentendimentos e se tratavam por nomes, ela p\u00f4s as coisas em perspetiva e eu pude ver<\/em> o objetivo:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cshe said something nasty about me, or I didn\u2019t like something she did, but I still expect to be able to see her child, hang out with her child, have access to her child, be alone with her child.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Her reasoning behind the fact she\u2019d set boundaries for family members who openly disliked her was something I could strongly identify with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cYou do not have any entitlement over my children. I don\u2019t care what your relationship is, what you think it is, to my child. If you disrespect me and you don\u2019t appreciate me, and you don\u2019t want to work on a relationship with me, you\u2019re not gonna go around me as the mother and have access to my children.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRegardless of the disrespect my husband\u2019s family was giving me, I allowed access to my children and this is what happened.\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Outro mulher<\/a>, A Pasha Girl, responded with her story. She explained that her husband\u2019s family didn\u2019t like her from the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O kids wouldn\u2019t notice it at first, but at the ages of 4 or 5, it became apparent. <\/strong>They would notice they don\u2019t get the same treatment as other cousins whose moms were liked and accepted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cIf you think that someone doesn\u2019t like you, that they\u2019re going to treat your children the same as somebody they do like, you couldn\u2019t be farther from the truth.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

She further explained they all tried counseling, the kids, the parents, and the husband\u2019s family. As there was n\u00e3o havia maneira de resolver as coisas, a \u00fanica coisa que restava fazer era estabelecer limites<\/strong>. Tamb\u00e9m optaram por n\u00e3o ir \u00e0s reuni\u00f5es de fam\u00edlia, mas a fam\u00edlia n\u00e3o ficou satisfeita com isso.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cNow that people who don\u2019t like us are mad at us for setting up those boundaries and it\u2019s not because they wanna hang out with us, they don\u2019t invite us to their houses for dinner, they\u2019re not engaging with us, but it doesn\u2019t look good.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Pasha girl explained why it\u2019s so important to stop getting involved and step back: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u200b\u200b\u201cWe stopped playing the game and we just quit going. And I will say that the best thing we ever did for our family was to stop, to put up those boundaries, and just stop. If you don\u2019t want us, you don\u2019t like us, it is so much better to just stop.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A certa altura, n\u00e3o consegui perceber se isso era realmente necess\u00e1rio, mas quando ela descreveu o impacto que as rela\u00e7\u00f5es t\u00f3xicas podem ter nas crian\u00e7as<\/strong>Senti-me t\u00e3o triste e zangada ao mesmo tempo. Compreendi porque \u00e9 que ela tinha de construir um muro entre eles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cSo your kids are so involved in this game but they don\u2019t have the emotional or intellectual capacity or development to understand the game that these adults are playing, and so what do kids do? What kids do best: everything\u2019s their fault. They can\u2019t figure out why they\u2019re not good enough, what they\u2019re doing wrong, why these people don\u2019t like them, why are they not good enough, why are they being treated different than their cousins, what is going on\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re wondering if you should try giving them a chance to be close to your kids, even when it\u2019s so apparent they don\u2019t like you, hear what A Pasha Girl has to say about it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a lot easier to never open that door than to try fix and repair broken, damaged children.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The final thought is such an eye-opener. I couldn\u2019t agree more!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One day I was quite upset because I overheard some awful comments my mother-in-law had made about me. She was speaking to her friend on the phone and didn\u2019t realize I had entered the room and was standing behind her the whole time. I had no idea she despised me that much and was shocked…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":164950,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29814],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-164949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29814,"label":"Stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Pregnant-Woman-Forbids-Family-Members-Who-Dont-Like-Her-To-Have-Contact-With-Her-Children-1024x576.jpg",1024,576,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29814,"name":"Stories","slug":"stories","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29814,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":29651,"count":244,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29814,"category_count":244,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Stories","category_nicename":"stories","category_parent":29651}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=164949"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164949\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":164951,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164949\/revisions\/164951"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/164950"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=164949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=164949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=164949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}