{"id":16574,"date":"2018-03-19T08:52:05","date_gmt":"2018-03-19T08:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16574"},"modified":"2022-02-10T11:11:45","modified_gmt":"2022-02-10T11:11:45","slug":"a-destruicao-do-divorcio-erguer-se-sobre-as-cinzas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/a-destruicao-do-divorcio-erguer-se-sobre-as-cinzas\/","title":{"rendered":"A Destrui\u00e7\u00e3o do Div\u00f3rcio: Erguer-se acima das cinzas"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s no secret\u2014ending a marriage is tough. Beyond tough.<\/em> Really, it\u2019s as tough as you and the person you\u2019re separating from making it. But, it\u2019s difficult to explain the damage to anyone who hasn\u2019t experienced the throes of divorce themselves.<\/p>\n

There is a whole host of emotions you\u2019ll experience during the battle and no rescaldo<\/a>.<\/strong> And yet, the end of one chapter marks the beginning of the next. There is a reason the partnership had to dissolve, and you\u2019ll have to stick it out to find out why.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a closer look at each emotion we may experience in the destructive path of divorce, discussing the importance of each and how to power through to the other side.<\/p>\n

Falha.<\/strong> <\/em>Uma palavra que, provavelmente, lhe passa pela cabe\u00e7a uma e outra vez. Nunca quiseste ser uma estat\u00edstica. No dia em que colocou o anel, sabia que o iria manter para sempre. You were going to always remember your vows, \u2018til death do you part.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Getting divorced makes us feel like we\u2019ve failed, whether or not we\u2019ve done everything possible to make it work up to the point of the papers, regardless of the circumstances that have led us to this point.<\/p>\n

Algo no nosso \u00edntimo diz-nos que talvez n\u00e3o estiv\u00e9ssemos nesta situa\u00e7\u00e3o dif\u00edcil se tiv\u00e9ssemos tentado um pouco mais, se tiv\u00e9ssemos reunido aquele \u00faltimo grama de coragem para nos aguentarmos.<\/em><\/p>\n

Arrependimento.<\/strong> <\/em>Este \u00e9 um dos mais pesados. Quer a separa\u00e7\u00e3o seja o resultado direto de uma a\u00e7\u00e3o que tom\u00e1mos, de uma compila\u00e7\u00e3o de ac\u00e7\u00f5es que tom\u00e1mos, das ac\u00e7\u00f5es do nosso c\u00f4njuge ou das ac\u00e7\u00f5es de ambos os parceiros, arrependemo-nos frequentemente. <\/em><\/p>\n

We ask a lot of \u2018What ifs\u2019 and our minds automatically try to resolve these with \u2018If onlys\u2019. We may regret certain things we said or did, didn\u2019t say, or didn\u2019t do. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018If only\u2019 this had happened, then this would have been the result. But the truth is far more complicated than this simplified formula, and it\u2019s too difficult to decipher what could have been done differently to avoid the relationship\u2019s demise.<\/p>\n

Culpa.<\/strong> <\/em>This is closely related to regret, often coupled with it and it\u2019s a side effect of failure. We feel guilty for ending things, or for agreeing with our partner who has chosen to end the relationship that it\u2019s the right decision.<\/p>\n

Isto \u00e9 particularmente verdade se estivermos profundamente ligados nos c\u00edrculos sociais da nossa parceria, tendo rela\u00e7\u00f5es mutuamente estreitas com os mesmos familiares e amigos.<\/em><\/p>\n

Isto \u00e9 particularmente verdade quando h\u00e1 crian\u00e7as envolvidas.<\/strong> They ask a lot of questions, and there are often many we can\u2019t answer simply because there\u2019s either no good answer or no answer at all. Having to justify failure to others is a guilt-inducing task. By nature, we\u2019d rather run away and hide from our circumstances just long enough for the dust to settle so we can emerge and pretend it never happened.<\/p>\n

Medo.<\/strong> <\/em>There\u2019s a lot of fear associated with the dissolution of intimacy, especially if the relationship has been long-standing. There have likely been many positive memories shared and good times had together.<\/p>\n

Temos uma vis\u00e3o idealizada do casamento e aprendemos desde tenra idade que devemos casar com o nosso melhor amigo, o nosso amigo para sempre, algu\u00e9m que sabemos que estar\u00e1 presente para o resto das nossas vidas. So, when we realize this version of events isn\u2019t going to come to fruition for us, this can be petrifying.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dor.<\/strong> <\/em>A dor mental e emocional \u00e9 t\u00e3o profunda que se torna f\u00edsica. Podemos ser apanhados num turbilh\u00e3o de depress\u00e3o, ansiedade e p\u00e2nico, de tal forma que sentimos literalmente as suas dores em todo o nosso corpo. <\/em><\/p>\n

O div\u00f3rcio \u00e9 doloroso.<\/strong> It\u2019s something we hope to never experience again. And many of us guard our heart thereafter, refusing to remarry or engage in a new partnership altogether, at least for a significant period of time. At worst, we enter into a new relationship but remain too guarded and keep our partner at arm\u2019s length.<\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, o que \u00e9 que podemos fazer?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Em suma, o div\u00f3rcio pode fazer-nos sentir muito mal. \u00c9 algo que muda a nossa vida e nos obriga a tomar uma dire\u00e7\u00e3o nova e imprevista. Como \u00e9 que podemos combater esta negatividade e seguir em frente?<\/p>\n

A \u00fanica coisa mais importante que podemos fazer no meio de todo este caos \u00e9 fazer um esfor\u00e7o concertado para fazer o check-in connosco pr\u00f3prios<\/em><\/strong> regularmente. Isto parece um disparate, uma perda de tempo, talvez.<\/em> No entanto, \u00e9 tudo menos um desperd\u00edcio do nosso tempo.<\/p>\n

Just like any other mistake we make in life, it is important to learn from it, so it doesn\u2019t happen again. More importantly, \u00e9 importante aprendermos sobre n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios<\/strong> <\/em>nestes momentos. Se nos concentrarmos no que em n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios pode ter causado este erro, se nos concentrarmos nele em vez de fugirmos dele, podemos concentrar-nos em como fazer as coisas de forma diferente no futuro.<\/p>\n

Passei por um div\u00f3rcio<\/a>. A very messy one, in fact. I\u2019ll even venture to guess it\u2019s in the top one percent range for messiness. I\u2019ve felt all of these emotions and then some. But, you know what? Had I never gone through this formidable phase in my life, I would have never truly compreendi quem eu sou<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As coisas tinham de acontecer exatamente como aconteciam, ser t\u00e3o confusas como eram, para que eu chegasse a uma compreens\u00e3o sobre mim pr\u00f3pria que acredito ter sido orquestrada por interven\u00e7\u00e3o divina.<\/p>\n

Had I not experienced this, I would have been stuck in stagnation with all of my sins, and turning a blind eye to all of my ex\u2019s sins, trying to minimize my inner loneliness and depression just long enough to continue coasting. Que tipo de vida \u00e9 essa?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I can tell you with utter certainty that I would not be writing this article, or any articles in fact, if I hadn\u2019t gone through this hell. But, I now fully understand what makes me tick, and how I can help myself and others going forward.<\/em><\/p>\n

Por isso, posso atestar a import\u00e2ncia de nos permitirmos sentir-se plenamente<\/strong><\/em> cada uma destas coisas desagrad\u00e1veis e sermos honestos connosco pr\u00f3prios sobre quem \u00e9ramos at\u00e9 este ponto e quem precisamos de nos tornar para nos reconstruirmos com sucesso.<\/p>\n

Tentar p\u00f4r de lado estas emo\u00e7\u00f5es ou mascar\u00e1-las com subst\u00e2ncias e outros desperd\u00edcios de tempo verdadeiro s\u00f3 ir\u00e1 prolongar o processo de cura.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Olhando incessantemente para dentro e continuando a ser honestos connosco pr\u00f3prios, pouco a pouco, cada emo\u00e7\u00e3o repulsiva que nos aflige dar\u00e1 lugar \u00e0 esperan\u00e7a.<\/em><\/p>\n

Instead of surpassing these, choosing remaining fragile and, therefore, susceptible to the plight, we must summon the courage to face our fears and conquer them. If we do so, one by one, they will fall by the wayside and we will emerge to a beautiful new chapter\u2014life\u2019s second draft.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s no secret\u2014ending a marriage is tough. Beyond tough. Really, it\u2019s as tough as you and the person you\u2019re separating from making it. But, it\u2019s difficult to explain the damage to anyone who hasn\u2019t experienced the throes of divorce themselves. There is a whole host of emotions you\u2019ll experience during the battle and in the…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":16576,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29623],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29623,"label":"marriage"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpeg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy Nicholson","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29623,"name":"marriage","slug":"marriage","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29623,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","parent":29620,"count":474,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29623,"category_count":474,"category_description":"Establishing a happy marriage is not an easy task. Learning how to recognize red flags and deal with issues will help you make your marriage successful.","cat_name":"marriage","category_nicename":"marriage","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16574","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16574"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16574\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16574"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16574"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16574"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}