Matthew says that we all have certain expectations and it\u2019s not hard to maintain them around people we don\u2019t like. However, everything changes in another scenario:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cWhen it comes to someone we really want, that is usually the moment that we drop our standards and lose sight of any boundaries we once had.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Just think about it. If a guy you were meeting up with already got a minus because he\u2019s a bad texter and then he shows up late, looking all crusty and musty, you wouldn\u2019t think twice about it. It would be uma rutura imediata<\/strong> e ele nunca mais o contactaria (esperemos que sim). <\/p>\n\n\n\nMas, quando se trata de um tipo giro de quem gostamos e das suas bandeiras vermelhas, suddenly you\u2019re color blind! <\/strong>It\u2019s like magic, I know!<\/p>\n\n\n\nSegundo Mateus, ao agirmos assim, s\u00f3 acabamos por nos prejudicar a n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Porque \u00e9 que perder os nossos limites \u00e9 perigoso?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n O treinador de encontros escreveu na legenda:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cThis situation is especially dangerous for people who have a more anxious attachment style and tend to respond to relationship uncertainty by bending over backward to keep someone happy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Ele chama-lhe \u201cfawning\u201d<\/em>\u00c9 um momento em que fazemos tudo para evitar a possibilidade de perder algu\u00e9m ou quando queremos impressionar essa pessoa. We basically become a doormat just so we don\u2019t end up alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nMateus explica este facto dizendo:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cNow, when we have the fawn response, we typically give too much. Certainly, we give more than is earned and is not reciprocal, i.e. we\u2019re giving more than they are. But we also fail to advocate for our needs, to truly speak our mind.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Afirma ainda que Dar incessantemente sem receber nada em troca \u00e9 realmente prejudicial para n\u00f3s. <\/strong>Al\u00e9m disso, n\u00e3o pedir o que precisamos ou dizer o que sentimos n\u00e3o \u00e9 muito melhor.<\/p>\n\n\n\nCaramba, isto parece-me familiar. Houve uma vez um tipo que me fez perder completamente a cabe\u00e7a e ficar com aquelas borboletas no est\u00f4mago sempre que pensava nele. Esforcei-me tanto para o manter por perto e para o fazer feliz. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Escrevi-lhe cartas de amor, fiz-lhe uma surpresa \u00e0 meia-noite no seu anivers\u00e1rio e, basicamente, estive sempre l\u00e1 para o ajudar em tudo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t do even 1% of the things I did for him<\/strong> mas <\/strong>Nunca disse nada porque queria que a nossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o fosse duradoura e acreditava sinceramente que algo iria mudar.<\/p>\n\n\n\nNeedless to say, things didn\u2019t really work out and Senti que tinha desperdi\u00e7ado o meu tempo e energia<\/strong> on someone who didn\u2019t even care. <\/p>\n\n\n\nBut yeah, Matthew said what we all kind of knew at the back of our minds but didn\u2019t want to admit. He is really great at putting it all together in a simple way. Someone wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s true. The moment I felt myself getting attached, it\u2019s like nothing else mattered anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Outro f\u00e3 comentou:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\u201cOoofff so true. Gives new meaning to the saying, \u2018the thought of him\/her makes me weak\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
So what have we learned? Love is a beautiful thing when it doesn\u2019t cost you your well-being. We all want that perfect love story but as Matthew Hussey says, Fazer tudo para agradar a algu\u00e9m s\u00f3 pode levar a ressentimentos e desilus\u00f5es.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nBut no worries! It doesn\u2019t have to be this way. Just stay aware of your boundaries even when falling for someone and don\u2019t forget your standards!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Veja o v\u00eddeo completo no YouTube para mais dicas \u00fateis!<\/p>\n\n\n\n