{"id":167135,"date":"2024-07-03T12:53:35","date_gmt":"2024-07-03T12:53:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=167135"},"modified":"2024-09-14T15:58:49","modified_gmt":"2024-09-14T15:58:49","slug":"a-vergonha-da-mae-e-todos-os-conselhos-nao-solicitados","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/a-vergonha-da-mae-e-todos-os-conselhos-nao-solicitados\/","title":{"rendered":"Porque \u00e9 que toda a gente se sente no direito de dizer \u00e0s novas m\u00e3es como educar os seus filhos?"},"content":{"rendered":"

You must\u2019ve experienced a mom-shaming yourself. I had no idea it even existed until I became a mom. At the very same moment, toda a gente me come\u00e7ou a dizer o que fazer.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was at a barbecue party that my parents organized to celebrate my dad\u2019s birthday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 \u201cI\u2019ll take him, you should get some rest\u201d<\/em>disse a minha prima e eu, felizmente, entreguei-lhe o meu filho de 3 meses. Mas Assim que ela o pegou, o beb\u00e9 come\u00e7ou a chorar. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Levei-o de volta e ele voltou a ficar calmo. O meu primo pareceu-me um pouco insultado e disse-me: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 \u201cHe would have come down.\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obriguei-me a sorrir e respondi: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 \u201cHe doesn\u2019t like to be held by anyone but me.\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ela deu-me uma li\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0 frente de toda a gente: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 <\/em>\u201cYou\u2019re making the big mistake to comfort him as soon as he starts crying. He was just fine.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Estava a tremer e sentia desconforto. A minha auto-confian\u00e7a desapareceu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E se eu estivesse errado? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sentia que todos estavam a olhar para mim, a m\u00e3e incapaz. <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t take it any longer, apologized to my parents, took my son, and left home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is quite common, when you\u2019re a new mom everyone feels entitled to give you advice and fazer coment\u00e1rios sobre as suas escolhas parentais. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It happens to many women, suddenly you\u2019re flooded with everyone’s opinions and judgments on your parenting style. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A humilha\u00e7\u00e3o das m\u00e3es come\u00e7a logo ap\u00f3s a gravidez<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Mulher<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

First, they feel it\u2019s ok to make comments about your weight. <\/strong>Then they keep asking you about the due date. When the baby is born they ask about their weight and height and then compare it to their children\u2019s. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Depois, temos uma explos\u00e3o de avalia\u00e7\u00f5es que parecem perguntas mas que, na realidade, s\u00e3o afirma\u00e7\u00f5es sobre os seus erros.<\/strong> \u00c0 medida que o beb\u00e9 cresce, h\u00e1 ainda mais:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBaby needs to sleep alone in his bed, you will make him too dependent on you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs he cold?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe he\u2019s hungry?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe he\u2019s thirsty.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you breastfeed? Why not? I breastfed my kids until they were two. You have no idea how crucial it is for their development and well-being.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe you\u2019re low on milk, he looks skinny. Why don\u2019t you supplement with formula.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe must get used to staying with someone else. You need to get out of the house sometimes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, you do? We don\u2019t allow that in our house?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would never let my baby cry herself out until she falls asleep. That\u2019s inhumane!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, just let him eat if he likes it. Kids love sweets.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you just do it like this, your kid would have no choice but to do what you\u2019re asking.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s still wearing diapers? I potty trained my kids when they were one year old.\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe needs to socialize, why are you being overprotective?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you\u2019re allowing him to watch TV? Screens are a no-no.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat kind of mother lets her kids play in the dust?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSleeping was never an issue for us. Probably because we did it right at the beginning.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHave you tried bouncer? It worked miracles for us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI promised myself when I become a mom I will never do that.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was overwhelmed with an excessive amount of advice that I didn’t ask for. It felt like I was wearing a huge sign above my head: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m a mom, please come to tell me what I should do!<\/em><\/strong> Please judge me if I do things differently than you and feel free to give me your opinion. I know you know better than me.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sentia que algu\u00e9m estava constantemente a tentar alterar as minhas ac\u00e7\u00f5es e a anular as minhas decis\u00f5es. Depois, os pais ajudaram-me a aprender:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9 preciso acreditar em si pr\u00f3prio <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"mulher<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

O meu principal problema era a inseguran\u00e7a. Al\u00e9m disso, eu era t\u00e3o concentrava-me em evitar conflitos e era muito dif\u00edcil para mim estabelecer limites.<\/strong> N\u00e3o podia dizer \u00e0s pessoas \u201cOk, thanks, but I didn\u2019t ask for your advice.\u201d<\/em> That\u2019s why I often felt like I was doing it all wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I doubted myself, and my parenting skills. I was scared I would spoil my son\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Passados alguns anos, tornei-me mais confiante e consegui lidar com todas as cr\u00edticas e julgamentos. I started following my intuition and I realized I KNOW what\u2019s best for my child.<\/strong> Of course, I make mistakes sometimes, but who doesn\u2019t?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mistakes are there to help us become better parents. Those who understand their children’s unique personality traits and know how to satisfy their needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that my boy has started school and I have a few years of parenting experience, I\u2019m telling you, h\u00e1 tantas formas e estilos diferentes de ser pai ou m\u00e3e <\/strong>and they all could give amazing results. It\u2019s up to you to decide! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pode escolher o que funciona para si e para os seus filhos.<\/strong> It\u2019s not like one-size-fits-all. We are all different and so are our kids. We can assess what\u2019s best for them according to our experiences and we know what will make them respond. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still don\u2019t understand why people feel the urge to share their opinions<\/strong> sobre quando \u00e9 que as crian\u00e7as devem aprender a usar o bacio, quanto tempo devem amamentar, o que devem comer e como se devem comportar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I\u2019m talking to a new parent I try to share my experience only if they ask me for advice. I don\u2019t \u201cteach\u201d them how to handle their kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E da pr\u00f3xima vez que algu\u00e9m tentar dar-te um conselho paternal indesejado, mostra-lhe este v\u00eddeo:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
@never_mind_dont_care<\/a>

#fyp<\/a> #viral<\/a> #bpddi\u00e1rios<\/a> 1TP5Pais<\/a> 1TP5Parentalidade<\/a> <\/p> \u266c original sound – Never_mind_dont_care<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote>