I really don\u2019t know how much more pain I can take. Every day I think that was it, I\u2019ve reached my breaking point, but the next day surprises me and I sink even lower.<\/p>\n
Sinto ainda mais dores que pensava serem imposs\u00edveis de sentir.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been hurt before and I\u2019ve made it, I\u2019ve healed\u2026 but it was never like this before. This time it goes on and on. It doesn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like I\u2019ve been knocked down to the ground and as I\u2019m about to get up, something kicks me even harder and I fall again. Only, every next time, it takes so much more strength for me to try and get up again.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve never been so stressed. I\u2019ve never been this anxious. <\/a>I\u2019m afraid to leave the house.<\/p>\n I\u2019m afraid to talk to people. I\u2019m afraid to show my face in public because if I do I will only feel even more pain, the pain that refuses to go away.<\/p>\n I knew how to handle my problems in the past. I was hurting but I didn\u2019t want anyone to know that. I was so good at concealing it.<\/p>\n I would make jokes about it, I would laugh, but that didn\u2019t mean I was fine. My face was smiling but my eyes cried heavy tears.<\/p>\n The thing is, no one saw it, which was fine because I didn\u2019t need anyone\u2019s support. I could have handled it.<\/p>\n But now, it\u2019s different. I\u2019ve lost all my energy, I\u2019ve lost strength and the will to keep fighting for the future. The only thing I didn\u2019t lose is hope.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Embora a vida me tenha batido na cara e me tenha atirado para o ch\u00e3o imundo, continuo a acreditar que h\u00e1 um futuro melhor \u00e0 minha espera.<\/p>\n I still believe that I will overcome this even though the pain seems like it\u2019s never-ending.<\/p>\n Things are not fine today but although I know they aren\u2019t going to be fine tomorrow either, I can hope that the next morning, the room I wake up in is going to shine brighter and the curtains on my window are going to be bright green and not gray and dull. I can only hope.<\/p>\n A esperan\u00e7a \u00e9 o que me mant\u00e9m a respirar.<\/strong><\/p>\n Sabem o que est\u00e1 a acontecer agora. Agora as pessoas est\u00e3o a come\u00e7ar a notar que I\u2019m not fine<\/a>.<\/p>\n Esfor\u00e7o-me, como fiz antes, mas desta vez estou a demorar tanto tempo a melhorar que o meu comportamento chama a aten\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t just stop the world from turning. I have to go to work, I have to stay in touch with my friends, and I just can\u2019t cut myself off from it.<\/p>\n![\"Recuso-me](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/joanna-nix-558203-unsplash-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![\"RECUSO-ME](\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/I-REFUSE-TO-KEEP-PRETENDING-THAT-I\u2019M-OKAY-BECAUSE-I\u2019M-FALLING-APART.jpg\")
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"