{"id":16950,"date":"2020-06-27T08:23:53","date_gmt":"2020-06-27T08:23:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=16950"},"modified":"2021-08-11T11:55:54","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T11:55:54","slug":"se-ele-faz-estas-6-coisas-e-um-manipulador-toxico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/se-ele-faz-estas-6-coisas-e-um-manipulador-toxico\/","title":{"rendered":"Se ele faz estas 6 coisas, ele \u00e9 um manipulador t\u00f3xico"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>J\u00e1 l\u00e1 estive.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not just rewriting information that has been written all over the Internet millions of times. I actually lived this.<\/p>\n<p>De facto, passei por este horror, 3 anos de horror para ser mais preciso.<\/p>\n<p>Conhecemo-nos e apaixon\u00e1mo-nos, pelo menos eu sei que me apaixonei. Foi como um conto de fadas, quase demasiado bom para ser verdade.<\/p>\n<p>Eu deveria saber desde o in\u00edcio que a vida nunca funciona assim. Devia ter percebido que algo iria correr mal.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Devia ter percebido que estava \u00e0 beira de um penhasco. A vista era linda, mas um passo mais \u00e0 frente e eu estaria a caminhar para a morte certa.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Sim, \u00e9 a isso que chamo vida com ele, morte certa.<\/p>\n<p>Na verdade, morrer era um pensamento bonito em compara\u00e7\u00e3o com o que ele me estava a fazer. Morrer era uma sa\u00edda f\u00e1cil que eu me recusava a tomar, embora me sentisse muito tentada.<\/p>\n<p>You know when they teach you the difference between the good and the bad, well some people tell you to look after the devil because he will present himself as something you crave, something you won\u2019t be able to resist.<\/p>\n<p>O mal consome-nos e seduz-nos e ele era o meu mal. Era o meu dem\u00f3nio que me encantava e tentava destruir-me.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Mas a minha alma ferida encontrou de alguma forma a for\u00e7a para se remendar e afastar-se dele!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Ele era t\u00e3o perfeito, atencioso, carinhoso. Pensei que tinha tudo, pensei que a vida me tinha dado um presente de amor. Pensei que me tinha dado a oportunidade de ser feliz at\u00e9 ao fim. Mas tudo n\u00e3o passava de um teste.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92219\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/happy-woman-hugging-man.jpg\" alt=\"mulher feliz a abra\u00e7ar um homem\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/happy-woman-hugging-man.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/happy-woman-hugging-man-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/happy-woman-hugging-man-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Agora percebo que o seu <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/relationship\/5-jogos-mentais-que-os-homens-toxicos-fazem-nas-relacoes\/\">t\u00f3xico<\/a> A alma foi atra\u00edda para mim para me tornar mais forte, para me ensinar a resistir, para me ensinar a lutar por mim pr\u00f3pria. Trouxe-me milhares de l\u00e1grimas e um enorme desgosto, mas aprendi a li\u00e7\u00e3o e ganhei.<\/p>\n<p>He was a freakin\u2019 artist.<\/p>\n<p>Sabia disfar\u00e7ar-se t\u00e3o bem que ningu\u00e9m duvidaria, nem por um segundo, da sua bondade e dos seus sorrisos falsos.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d been playing the role of a caring do-gooder for far too long and everyone bought it. I fell for it until we started living together until he couldn\u2019t hide his real face anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Quando aprendi a opor-me a ele e a defender-me, a sua raiva e o seu interior t\u00f3xico tornaram-se maiores e mais fortes.<\/p>\n<p>As suas ac\u00e7\u00f5es tornaram-se mais destrutivas. Ele sentiu que estava a perder o controlo sobre mim e tornou-se ainda pior.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>There were moments when I thought he would give up on me and leave me alone but he only became more obsessed with me because he couldn\u2019t stand the fact that I was about to leave him. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>He couldn\u2019t accept that he\u2019d lost this battle. And then I would pay the price for wanting freedom, for craving a world without abuse.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>Foi isto que ele me fez, foi assim que ele deu cabo do seu disfarce e provou que era um <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/relationship\/finalmente-a-afastar-se-manipulador-toxico\/\">manipulador t\u00f3xico<\/a>:<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Fez-se de v\u00edtima<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92220\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-bedroom.jpg\" alt=\"casal a discutir no quarto\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-bedroom.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-bedroom-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-bedroom-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When we argued, when I\u2019d had enough of his lies and confronted him, he would play the victim card.<\/p>\n<p>Somehow he always made it about himself. He knew exactly when to turn his charm on and pretend he was sorry, that he\u2019d made a mistake and that now he felt like shit. I fell for it every time.<\/p>\n<p>I thought he was really sorry, I thought he had realized what he was doing to me and most importantly, I thought he hadn\u2019t done it on purpose.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I felt like crap. I felt guilty for cornering him and accusing him of being a manipulative asshole. I felt sorry for him and I gave him another chance.<\/p>\n<p>Houve centenas de situa\u00e7\u00f5es e eu dei-lhe centenas de novas oportunidades e, mesmo assim, nada mudou.<\/p>\n<p>Era assim que ele me enganava e me fazia sentir pena dele, de modo que, no final de cada discuss\u00e3o, eu acabava por lhe pedir desculpa e esquecia-me porque \u00e9 que estava zangada com ele. Era esse o seu plano desde o princ\u00edpio.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Ele fingiu respeitar-me<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92221\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-talking-to-sad-woman.jpg\" alt=\"homem a falar com uma mulher triste\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-talking-to-sad-woman.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-talking-to-sad-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-talking-to-sad-woman-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Como j\u00e1 disse, ele foi gentil e carinhoso desde o in\u00edcio.<\/p>\n<p>Ele queria dar-me o mundo. Ouvia cada palavra que eu dizia e realizava todos os meus desejos.<\/p>\n<p>He was the man I had dreamed of spending the rest of my life with. Wasn\u2019t I so stupid and blind?<\/p>\n<p>No in\u00edcio, ele ouvia realmente tudo o que eu dizia. Quando eu estava a falar, ele prestava aten\u00e7\u00e3o, mas n\u00e3o porque gostasse de mim e estivesse interessado no que eu tinha para dizer, mas porque<a href=\"https:\/\/www.bolde.com\/11-signs-guy-like-taking-advantage-you\/\" rel=\"noopener\"> ele queria tirar partido do facto.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ele escutava-me porque queria usar toda a informa\u00e7\u00e3o que pudesse para me manipular sempre que quisesse.<\/p>\n<p>O seu plano era fazer de mim um fantoche obediente, uma mulher sem opini\u00e3o, sem coluna vertebral.<\/p>\n<p>Ele queria que eu dan\u00e7asse ao som da m\u00fasica que tocava. E, durante algum tempo, conseguiu-o.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Ele enganou-me com a culpa<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92222\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/serious-woman-looking-at-man.jpg\" alt=\"mulher s\u00e9ria a olhar para um homem\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/serious-woman-looking-at-man.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/serious-woman-looking-at-man-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/serious-woman-looking-at-man-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Ele estava sempre ao meu lado, a vigiar tudo o que eu fazia e encontrava sempre uma falha. Mesmo quando eu dava o meu melhor, ele vinha e cagava em tudo.<\/p>\n<p>Pensava que nada do que fazia era correto. Pensava que era incapaz de viver, quanto mais de fazer o que quer que fosse.<\/p>\n<p>Por isso, depositei toda a minha confian\u00e7a nele, porque pensei que ele me iria ajudar e ensinar a ter finalmente sucesso.<\/p>\n<p>Esse foi o meu maior erro e o seu maior triunfo.<\/p>\n<p>When I wanted to do something for myself, he let me but he made sure I felt guilty for doing it. And when I\u2019d go out without him, I wouldn\u2019t enjoy myself.<\/p>\n<p>S\u00f3 pensava nele e no facto de ele estar sozinho em casa enquanto eu me divertia.<\/p>\n<p>So I\u2019d drop everything and go back home to him, go back to the misery and pain. He wanted that from the start.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Ele estava cheio de promessas<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92223\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/young-man-talking-to-woman.jpg\" alt=\"jovem a falar com uma mulher\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/young-man-talking-to-woman.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/young-man-talking-to-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/young-man-talking-to-woman-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019d heard his speeches and his promises, you would have thought that you were the luckiest girl alive.<\/p>\n<p>Fez promessas sucessivas e nenhuma delas se concretizou.<\/p>\n<p>Eram apenas palavras vazias, atiradas de um lado para o outro, sem qualquer objetivo, exceto o de me cegar e de me manter na linha, sob <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/life\/5-coisas-horriveis-que-os-narcisistas-fazem-para-controlar-as-suas-vitimas\/\">controlo.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Nunca recebi nada do que ele me disse e nunca foi suposto receber. Essas coisas foram ditas apenas para me enganar e fazer-me esperar pacientemente que algo de bom acontecesse.<\/p>\n<p>E sabes que mais? Nunca aconteceu nada de bom, apenas as coisas que ele queria que acontecessem e os meus sentimentos nunca contaram.<\/p>\n<p>Ele era a coisa mais importante na nossa rela\u00e7\u00e3o e, desde que ele estivesse feliz, est\u00e1vamos bem.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Ele fingiu que queria ajudar-me<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92224\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-comforting-woman.jpg\" alt=\"homem a confortar mulher\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-comforting-woman.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-comforting-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/man-comforting-woman-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Ele fingiu que estava muito preocupado comigo.<\/p>\n<p>Mentiu-me e fingiu que se preocupava tanto, mas nunca fez nada por mim para me tirar o fardo dos ombros. Eram apenas palavras seguidas de nenhuma a\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/p>\n<p>Even when he \u2018wanted\u2019 to help me, he would choose a perfect time to offer himself. Usually, when I didn\u2019t need him to help me, or when I knew I would do something better than him.<\/p>\n<p>And the catch is, he knew it. A few times, there were situations where he deliberately did something wrong just to get rid of the \u2018helping me part\u2019 and to make sure I never asked him again.<\/p>\n<p>Foi tudo planeado com anteced\u00eancia e eu nunca tive qualquer hip\u00f3tese contra ele.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"numbered-headline\">Ele estava sempre a criticar-me e a julgar-me<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92225\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-the-kitchen.jpg\" alt=\"casal a discutir na cozinha\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-the-kitchen.jpg 800w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-the-kitchen-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/couple-arguing-in-the-kitchen-768x513.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Ele certificou-se de que eu sabia qual era o meu lugar. Assegurou-se de que eu nunca teria essa ideia maluca na minha cabe\u00e7a de que podia fazer o que quisesse. E podia, porque eu era melhor do que ele e ele sabia-o.<\/p>\n<p>Esse era o seu maior medo. Por isso, ele queria degradar-me e fazer-me sentir como <a href=\"https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough\/\" rel=\"noopener\">I wasn\u2019t good enough<\/a> para qualquer coisa.<\/p>\n<p>He wanted to make sure I didn\u2019t even try anything by convincing me in advance that I would fail.<\/p>\n<p>Ele julgava tudo o que eu fazia e tinha de criticar at\u00e9 as coisas que eu fazia bem.<\/p>\n<p>Isso estava a matar-me por dentro.<\/p>\n<p>Slowly, my self-respect and self-esteem started to vanish. I didn\u2019t have faith in myself because I thought I was incompetent.<\/p>\n<p>Acreditem, ao fim de algum tempo, come\u00e7amos a pensar assim sobre n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios. Come\u00e7amos mesmo a pensar que Deus nos p\u00f4s neste planeta sem qualquer objetivo, por isso cedemos. Entregamo-nos completamente a ele porque pensamos que, pelo menos, ele saber\u00e1 o que fazer connosco.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s where his manipulative behavior will take you\u2014to doubting yourself, to the verge of <a href=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/relationship\/o-teu-rabo-narcisista-abusou-do-meu-amor-e-transformou-o-em-odio-por-ti-proprio\/\">\u00f3dio a si pr\u00f3prio<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Now I\u2019m finally free from that hell but I\u2019m far from being fine. It\u2019s just a sentence I say to people to get them to leave me alone. I\u2019m lying to them but I\u2019m not lying to myself.<\/p>\n<p>I know what I\u2019ve been through but I don\u2019t know how to get rid of all the pain and humiliation. But I\u2019m not lying to myself. I know it\u2019s going to be hard.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m falling apart because I\u2019ve survived the hardest battle life has thrown at me and now I\u2019m healing and counting my blessings.<\/p>\n<p>It will take a while until I come to life again. Love? I\u2019m not sure if it exists but I won\u2019t cross it off my list because I won\u2019t lie to myself.<\/p>\n<p>S\u00f3 preciso de algum tempo para voltar a p\u00f4r tudo no seu lugar e para recuperar o meu antigo eu, que ele me fez abandonar t\u00e3o facilmente.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-92218\" src=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/If-He-Does-These-6-Things-Hes-A-Toxic-Manipulator-pinterest.png\" alt=\"Se ele faz estas 6 coisas, ele \u00e9 um manipulador t\u00f3xico\" width=\"724\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/If-He-Does-These-6-Things-Hes-A-Toxic-Manipulator-pinterest.png 724w, https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/If-He-Does-These-6-Things-Hes-A-Toxic-Manipulator-pinterest-212x300.png 212w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 724px) 100vw, 724px\" \/><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve been there. I\u2019m not just rewriting information that has been written all over the Internet millions of times. I actually lived this. I actually went through this horror, 3 years of horror to be more precise. We met and we fell in love, at least I know I did. It was like a fairy&#8230;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":92226,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29625],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationship"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29625,"label":"toxic relationship"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/If-He-Does-These-6-Things-Hes-A-Toxic-Manipulator.jpg",800,534,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":3,"category_info":[{"term_id":29625,"name":"toxic relationship","slug":"toxic-relationship","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29625,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","parent":29620,"count":228,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29625,"category_count":228,"category_description":"Are you in a toxic relationship without even knowing it? What should you do if you find yourself in one? Here's all you need to know!","cat_name":"toxic relationship","category_nicename":"toxic-relationship","category_parent":29620}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16950"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16950\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/92226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}