{"id":17033,"date":"2018-03-28T08:32:33","date_gmt":"2018-03-28T08:32:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17033"},"modified":"2021-08-12T10:36:10","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T10:36:10","slug":"7-coisas-que-acontecem-quando-se-conhece-um-bom-rapaz-depois-de-uma-relacao-abusiva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/7-coisas-que-acontecem-quando-se-conhece-um-bom-rapaz-depois-de-uma-relacao-abusiva\/","title":{"rendered":"7 coisas que acontecem quando se conhece um bom rapaz depois de uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o abusiva"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recusa-se a admitir que est\u00e1 numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o abusiva<\/a>. You don\u2019t want to accept that he screwed you and that life played a cruel game on you. That\u2019s the thing about abusive relationships\u2014either you won\u2019t admit you\u2019re in one, because it\u2019s easier that way, or you aren\u2019t aware that you\u2019re being abused.<\/p>\n

All you know is that you are unhappy and you want out but you can\u2019t leave. You got used to being treated like crap. You\u2019ve been treated like it from the beginning and you don\u2019t know anything better than that.<\/p>\n

There are moments when things don\u2019t look so desperate, when he is in a good mood, which gives you hope for a better tomorrow. But those moments don\u2019t last. It\u2019s just a matter of time before he is going to lose it and unleash his anger on you.<\/p>\n

As rela\u00e7\u00f5es abusivas s\u00e3o viciantes.<\/strong> You don\u2019t know anything better. Maybe you\u2019re scared to be alone, so you choose to stay with him. He gives you some kind of security despite the fact that you\u2019re unhappy. You know that you are not alone and he is a fix that you need to take to be calm.<\/p>\n

As rela\u00e7\u00f5es abusivas s\u00e3o um desafio.<\/strong> Actually, all relationships are challenging, only the difference between an abusive and a regular relationship is that it\u2019s not worth fighting for an abusive relationship. You shouldn\u2019t fight for something that makes you unhappy.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not your responsibility to make it work. You\u2019ve already done more than is in your power and things didn\u2019t change. You have to fight for someone who deserves it. Abusers don\u2019t deserve it and they are not going to change, no matter how hard you try.<\/p>\n

As rela\u00e7\u00f5es abusivas mant\u00eam-nos a viver com medo.<\/strong> First of all, women who are being abused are scared to leave their abusers because they are being threatened and molested. They don\u2019t have the courage to leave because their abusers make sure to erase their sense of independence, so they dread being alone.<\/p>\n

Even if they find the courage to leave, another obstacle awaits them\u2014healing and dealing with new situations, like meeting someone else.<\/p>\n

You think this should be the easy part but it\u2019s even harder than breaking free from the chains of an abusive relationship. You\u2019ll meet someone else, someone who is worthy of your love and attention, someone who deserves it, but you won\u2019t trust him.<\/p>\n

You will doubt him and his behavior because you\u2019ll always be waiting for things to go downhill. You\u2019ll always be waiting for the perfect storm that appears out of nowhere. You\u2019ll be waiting to be wiped out and destroyed like you were once before.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eis as coisas que lhe podem acontecer quando finalmente conhece um bom rapaz depois de ter sobrevivido a uma rela\u00e7\u00e3o abusiva:<\/p>\n

1. Ter\u00e1 tempo para aprender a apreciar-se e a amar-se de novo<\/span><\/h2>\n

You haven\u2019t forgotten this. Maybe you hate yourself now because you let him treat you badly but it\u2019s not your fault. You couldn\u2019t fight it and you never stood a chance against his abusive nature. You have to aprender a amarmo-nos de novo<\/a>. You have to regain your self-confidence if you want to move on and heal. You have to forgive yourself because it wasn\u2019t your fault. He was just a lesson that you needed to learn, and you did.<\/p>\n

You have to learn that you are the only person who can have any control over your life. You are the only one who knows what\u2019s good for you. When you meet a good guy, you\u2019ll have the space to learn to love everything about yourself, to valorizar-se<\/a> e, acima de tudo, ter orgulho em si pr\u00f3prio. Ele dar-lhe-\u00e1 a for\u00e7a para o conseguir porque, ao contr\u00e1rio do outro, preocupa-se consigo e quer que renas\u00e7a das cinzas, sentindo-se mais forte do que nunca.<\/p>\n

2. You\u2019ll struggle with new feelings<\/span><\/h2>\n

I know it\u2019s frightening and confusing but this new thing that happened is positive. I know you\u2019re scared of getting hurt once again but grab him and don\u2019t deix\u00e1-lo ir<\/a>. He knows what you\u2019ve been through and he has accepted that you are broken and that you\u2019ll need some time to heal.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be scared of these new feelings you\u2019re experiencing or this new treatment he is giving you. It was always supposed to be like this. This is what real love is. It\u2019s just that you haven\u2019t seen it before and you\u2019re scared that it\u2019s going to hurt you. Let go and trust him because unlike the other one, this guy respects you and treats you the way you deserve.<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019ll be waiting for things to fall apart<\/span><\/h2>\n

You\u2019ve lost faith in people. All you have seen up until now is pain and manipula\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>. You\u2019ve been hurt so much that you\u2019re taking precautions because you\u2019re scared it will happen again. Even when the right guy comes along, you\u2019ll doubt him. Even when everything is going perfectly, you\u2019ll constantly be waiting for the moment when it all falls apart.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how it happened in your abusive relationship. He was perfect in the beginning. You were living in a fairy tale until he showed his true face and released the monster hidden inside. But this time, that is not going to happen. You\u2019ll be waiting for a disaster but it won\u2019t come. And he knows you\u2019re waiting for it but he keeps calm. He is patient and he will give you all the time you need before you give in to him and start trusting him.<\/p>\n

4. You\u2019ll overthink everything<\/span><\/h2>\n

He treats you perfectly, he gives you everything you want but that is bothering you. You can\u2019t shake the feeling that something isn\u2019t right. You\u2019re overanalyzing stuff and overthinking his reactions because you keep waiting for something bad to happen. You\u2019re constantly searching for the hidden motives of his good behavior.<\/p>\n

But the truth is, he only cares about you and nothing more. You\u2019ll distance yourself from him and you\u2019ll try to look at things as a third party, someone neutral, to make yourself believe that he doesn\u2019t want to do you any wrong. If you succeed in shaking the feeling that he wants to harm you, only then will you be able to relax and trust him and his good intentions.<\/p>\n

5. You\u2019ll think he\u2019s unreal<\/span><\/h2>\n

You\u2019ll think that it\u2019s impossible that such a man exists. You\u2019ll think that you\u2019re being manipulated and played<\/a> for a fool once again. You\u2019ll keep waiting for him to reveal his true face to you like the one before him did.<\/p>\n

But he never does. He stays the same, patient and ready, to give you all the love he has. He knows that you\u2019re hurt and you can\u2019t trust anyone but he\u2019ll wait for you anyway because he wants to love you and show you what true love is. Don\u2019t ever let a man like this go.<\/p>\n

6. Pedir desculpa a toda a hora<\/span><\/h2>\n

You were used to conflicts and sudden outbursts of anger. You\u2019ve learned how to deal with them and not to crack but dealing with them only hurt you more. You apologized all the time because you thought he would stop if you did. You apologized for the things you did and didn\u2019t do.<\/p>\n

That is what you\u2019re doing now too but there is no need to. He doesn\u2019t want you to accept fault for everything. He is man enough to accept when he has done something wrong and the phrase, \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019 is not taboo in his vocabulary.<\/p>\n

7. You\u2019ll learn to trust him<\/span><\/h2>\n

Over time, you\u2019ll learn to let go. You\u2019ll realize that he only wants the best for you. You\u2019ll understand that his love for you is unconditional and pure. Once you manage to do that, you will confiar plenamente nele<\/a>. You\u2019ll realize that love was waiting for you all along and the other guy, the abusive jerk, was only a lesson you had to learn.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll open up to him and you won\u2019t be afraid to be vulnerable around him because you\u2019ll know he will never make you cry or make you hurt. You know he\u2019ll hold you tight in his arms, while watching you like a hawk and making sure no one ever hurts you.
\nBasta encontrar a for\u00e7a para voltar a acreditar em si pr\u00f3prio e o resto vir\u00e1 a seguir.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You refuse to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. You don\u2019t want to accept that he screwed you and that life played a cruel game on you. That\u2019s the thing about abusive relationships\u2014either you won\u2019t admit you\u2019re in one, because it\u2019s easier that way, or you aren\u2019t aware that you\u2019re being abused. All…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":17036,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/john-schnobrich-526713-unsplash.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17033","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17033"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17033\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}