{"id":17498,"date":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T11:43:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17498"},"modified":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T11:43:14","slug":"sobre-como-ultrapassar-um-manipulador-toxico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/sobre-como-ultrapassar-um-manipulador-toxico\/","title":{"rendered":"Como superar um manipulador t\u00f3xico"},"content":{"rendered":"

Esta foi a pior coisa que aconteceu em toda a minha vida. Aquele maldito momento em que o conheci, quando os nossos olhos se fixaram. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensar-se-ia que a nossa hist\u00f3ria seria um momento de Hollywood e que o nosso amor se tornaria eterno e inquebr\u00e1vel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him. Instead of living the most beautiful days of my life, I\u2019ve gone through real hell raging with fire, tortured emotionally by a crazy and demented SOB.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I\u2019m writing this. I want to help you because I know how you feel. I know what you\u2019re going through. I know that you want to crawl into a hole and die. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re empty inside because he took everything from you by pretending to care, only to consume and use you for his pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know there are years of crippling pain and spilled tears behind you. I know that you can\u2019t even cry anymore because your tears have dried out. I know you want to scream, but your voice is gone. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I know you\u2019re walking, eating and living just because you have to. I know you won\u2019t be able to erase the memory of him and how he treated you for as long as you live.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Depois de ter quebrado as correntes do seu <\/span>manipula\u00e7\u00f5es<\/span><\/a> and abuse, I thought I will never love or be normal again. I go out, I talk to my friends, and I put on a fake smile because I don\u2019t want to burden anyone with my problems and my pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to show them that I\u2019m fine, but the truth is, I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Por detr\u00e1s de todas aquelas express\u00f5es faciais falsas e falsa felicidade, sinto-me apenas como mais uma pessoa sem rosto numa multid\u00e3o. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019m getting run over and I can\u2019t do anything about it. I feel like my broken emotions and the damage that was done are so much stronger than me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to allow myself to live normally again. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m ever letting anyone get close to me again. I just don\u2019t know how to get that trust I once had back. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not even sure if I want it back\u2026I don\u2019t want to get hurt again\u2026I can\u2019t take it\u2026at least not now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So this is my story\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Nunca consegui ler as pessoas desde a primeira vez que as conheci. Confiava sempre em toda a gente porque pensava que todos eram como eu. Nunca tive nada a esconder e<\/span> Senti-me bem comigo pr\u00f3prio<\/span><\/a>, so I never had the need to present myself as something I\u2019m not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Isto queimou-me muitas vezes, mas mantive a minha f\u00e9 nas pessoas. Era simplesmente imposs\u00edvel que todas elas estivessem podres e corrompidas por dentro. Dava-lhes sempre uma segunda oportunidade porque acreditava que toda a gente a merece. <\/span><\/p>\n

I should have got used to disappointment and betrayal after living through so much of it, but I didn\u2019t, and somehow I would always come back stronger with one more valuable lesson I\u2019ve learned. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

But, this time it was different. This time, I was kicked to the ground so hard and I couldn\u2019t get up. I wanted to, but I was paralyzed with fear and pain.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I met a man who enchanted me. I thought he was so special, but deep inside, I had a feeling that I shouldn\u2019t play with fire. Something screamed from inside that I should turn around and go. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, I ignored that feeling because he intrigued me and I so badly wanted to see what was hiding behind that \u2018beautiful\u2019 face and charming smile. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nunca devia ter tentado mud\u00e1-lo. Nunca devia ter ignorado todos os sinais que o rodeavam e que me avisavam para me ir embora. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

So, I invited him to destroy my life and I gave him the chance of a lifetime, his biggest score ever\u2014me. <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que s\u00f3 se preocupava com ele pr\u00f3prio. <\/b><\/p>\n

There was never \u2018we\u2019 in our relationship. It was always about him. As long as he was the happy one, as long as his needs and his wishes were taken care of, we were happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

My voice was fading with each new morning of our relationship. Even when I spoke, I wasn\u2019t heard. It would all go to waste because he never cared about what I had to say. <\/span><\/p>\n

He never cared about how I felt\u2014if I was sad, angry or even happy. But, every time he had something exciting or sad or it doesn\u2019t matter what going on in his life, I was, sadly, the first person he would tell all about it. <\/span><\/p>\n

E, estupidamente, eu ouvia-o. Quando ele estava triste, eu tentava ser compassivo. Quando ele estava feliz, eu queria estar feliz por ele. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mas, como \u00e9 que se pode compreender e viver as suas emo\u00e7\u00f5es quando <\/span>he doesn\u2019t give a damn<\/span><\/a> sobre o seu?<\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que nunca soube o que era partilhar. <\/b><\/p>\n

Ele era completamente ego\u00edsta e egoc\u00eantrico. Nunca pod\u00edamos ser felizes ao mesmo tempo. Quando eu estava numa mar\u00e9 de sorte e sempre que a minha vida tinha uma oportunidade de mudar para melhor, ele estava l\u00e1 para a destruir. <\/span><\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t take it. He couldn\u2019t take the fact that I was doing better, that maybe I was even smarter and more capable than him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Depois, ele tornava-me infeliz com manipula\u00e7\u00f5es, culpabiliza\u00e7\u00f5es e <\/span>ilumina\u00e7\u00e3o artificial<\/span><\/a>. He would use everything in his arsenal of emotional weapons just to defeat me and break me emotionally so I knew where my place was\u2014beneath him. <\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que era t\u00e3o fraco que precisava de me culpar por tudo.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Como<\/p>\n

He could never face his problems like a real man because he was a coward. And he still is, only now he is feeding some other poor clueless woman with his fantasy stories. And she\u2019s buying it like I did but she\u2019ll see through him, hopefully before it\u2019s too late. <\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever things didn\u2019t turn out great for him, I was the one to blame. He would take all his anger out on me like I wanted things to go bad for him, like I was happy when he was miserable. Of course, I wasn\u2019t happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Em primeiro lugar, porque sei o que se sente quando algu\u00e9m fica feliz por nos ver infelizes e, em segundo lugar, porque a sua desgra\u00e7a significou um inferno para mim.<\/span><\/p>\n

The biggest problem is that I had absolutely no idea how to confront him and even when I tried, all hell would break loose. I had no idea how to explain to him that the fact he\u2019s miserable made me miserable, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t that be self-explanatory? Why would I even have to explain that to him? Why would he even think that I wanted to make him feel bad?<\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que me fez pensar que o podia mudar.<\/b><\/p>\n

Every time we hit the wall in our relationship and I couldn\u2019t take it anymore, he would do a gesture, something that gave me hope that he wasn\u2019t so bad after all. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pensei que o podia mudar, que havia algo dentro dele que podia ser puxado para a superf\u00edcie. Mas, este foi o meu erro. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ningu\u00e9m me obrigou a fazer isso; ningu\u00e9m me obrigou a estar com ele. Escolhi-o eu mesma e pensei que podia mudar o seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o. Pensei que podia torn\u00e1-lo menos ego\u00edsta, ensin\u00e1-lo a amar incondicionalmente. Mas eu estava t\u00e3o enganada. <\/span><\/p>\n

Little flaws don\u2019t matter. We are all human; we all make mistakes. That\u2019s why I wanted to accept him for who he was, but the evil side of him took him completely over and controlled him. It was no longer about the small stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n

A sua maldade come\u00e7ou a consumir-me e a usar-me. A sua falta de empatia era irrevers\u00edvel e eu n\u00e3o podia fazer nada.<\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que me fazia duvidar de tudo o que fazia. <\/b><\/p>\n

Perdi a confian\u00e7a em mim pr\u00f3prio. Duvidei de mim pr\u00f3pria porque tudo o que fazia nunca era suficientemente bom. Sentia-me t\u00e3o pequena e sem import\u00e2ncia, como se n\u00e3o fosse capaz de nada. Ele encontrava sempre uma falha em tudo o que eu fazia. <\/span><\/p>\n

Passado algum tempo, acreditei realmente nas suas palavras duras. Comecei a acreditar que era mesmo est\u00fapido. Perdi toda a minha confian\u00e7a porque <\/span>ele estava a deitar-me abaixo<\/span><\/a> constantly. After some time, I was even grateful that he loved me because I thought I was so pathetic that no one else would ever dream of loving me. I thought I didn\u2019t deserve to be loved by anyone, so his love was something I had to settle for. <\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que apagou o meu verdadeiro eu e criou outra pessoa. <\/b><\/p>\n

He changed me. He forced me to become something I never wanted, something I never was. I remember the sound of my laughter and I remember the look of my smile, but that\u2019s it. <\/span><\/p>\n

J\u00e1 n\u00e3o sorria nem me ria em voz alta. Essas coisas tornaram-se apenas uma mem\u00f3ria feliz que tamb\u00e9m se estava a desvanecer lentamente. <\/span><\/p>\n

As l\u00e1grimas e a tristeza levaram-nas. A \u00fanica coisa que sabia fazer era engasgar-me com as minhas pr\u00f3prias l\u00e1grimas e ensopar a almofada a meio da noite, quando ele j\u00e1 n\u00e3o estava e ningu\u00e9m me podia ver ou ouvir. <\/span><\/p>\n

As minhas paredes eram as minhas melhores amigas e sabiam tudo, embora o meu rosto contasse a minha triste hist\u00f3ria com cada ruga. Mas ningu\u00e9m queria ver isso. <\/span><\/p>\n

And, it\u2019s all my fault. Every tear I shed was my own doing. If I hadn\u2019t wanted to save him, if I hadn\u2019t been so curious to see what was going on inside of him, none of this would have happened. I wouldn\u2019t have needed to be saved.<\/span><\/p>\n

Apaixonei-me por um homem que me ensinou a lutar por mim pr\u00f3pria.<\/b><\/p>\n

Strange isn\u2019t it? But in a way, all this pain I\u2019ve been through, this hell on earth, wasn\u2019t a complete waste. I\u2019ve learned something because I couldn\u2019t take any of his shit anymore. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned to fight for myself and take what belongs to me\u2026my freedom. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was acting a bit selfishly, but I wasn\u2019t doing it to hurt others\u2014I was doing it to save myself. I\u2019ve decided I\u2019ll turn my life around completely. I\u2019ve decided that people who don\u2019t care about me or about anyone or anything aren\u2019t worth my time. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided that those people can\u2019t be saved if they don\u2019t want to save themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t be saved until I decided to save myself. Until I decided I deserve better than what he was giving me.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided I will <\/span>escolher-me a mim pr\u00f3prio<\/span><\/a> from now on. I\u2019ve decided I will love myself once again. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve put him in a storage box deep in my mind. I know that he will always be somewhere inside. I know everything he did will always be a part of me, but it won\u2019t consume and take me over because I\u2019ve finally said, \u201cit\u2019s enough\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

Sei que o podes guardar na parte mais escura da tua mente e da tua alma, tal como eu fiz. <\/span><\/p>\n

Lutaremos contra eles toda a vida, mas aprenderemos a control\u00e1-los e nunca mais deixaremos que nos controlem. <\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was the worst thing that happened in my entire life. That Goddamn moment when I met him, when our eyes locked. You would have thought our story will be a Hollywood moment and our love would become eternal and unbreakable. Well, something became eternal after that relationship and that was my hatred toward him….<\/p>","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":17499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29631],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-getting-over-him"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29631,"label":"getting over him"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/riccardo-mion-584741-unsplash.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Leah Lee","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/leah\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29631,"name":"getting over him","slug":"getting-over-him","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29631,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","parent":29627,"count":124,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29631,"category_count":124,"category_description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","cat_name":"getting over him","category_nicename":"getting-over-him","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17498"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17498\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}