{"id":17747,"date":"2020-06-17T13:42:44","date_gmt":"2020-06-17T13:42:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=17747"},"modified":"2021-08-11T14:13:32","modified_gmt":"2021-08-11T14:13:32","slug":"quando-os-maus-tratos-sofridos-no-passado-a-fazem-afastar-um-bom-homem-leia-isto","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/quando-os-maus-tratos-sofridos-no-passado-a-fazem-afastar-um-bom-homem-leia-isto\/","title":{"rendered":"Quando os teus abusos passados te fazem afastar um bom homem, l\u00ea isto"},"content":{"rendered":"

H\u00e1 um velho ditado que diz mais ou menos o seguinte: <\/span>Uma crian\u00e7a queimada teme o fogo<\/span><\/i>. Tamb\u00e9m tu, como uma crian\u00e7a, foste t\u00e3o queimado que agora at\u00e9 a mais pequena fa\u00edsca te faz lembrar um grande inc\u00eandio.<\/span><\/p>\n

Teme que o que lhe aconteceu no passado possa voltar a acontecer<\/b>. Teme que o abuso n\u00e3o tenha terminado e que, algures, outro psicopata narcisista esteja \u00e0 espera da sua presa. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re scared to become the victim of such torment again that you would rather choose not to let yourself fall in love again. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re making each and every new person who tries to walk into your life pay the price for the man who broke you in the past. God knows how long you\u2019ve been doing this injustice to those who don\u2019t deserve it. <\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think there is any need to ask you why you are doing it. You forgot your worth. Your past abuse made you feel worthless, made you feel weak and convinced you that you\u2019re unable to take care of yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mas essas s\u00e3o as vossas mentiras. Essas s\u00e3o <\/span>t\u00e1cticas de capta\u00e7\u00e3o que todos os narcisistas usam<\/span><\/a> para vos sugar at\u00e9 ao tutano.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Mulher<\/p>\n

You are a strong woman who\u2019s more than good enough. You\u2019re an amazing human being who just fell for the wrong guy and that\u2019s it. There is nothing wrong with you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Foste convencida a dar tudo de ti ao tipo errado e ficaste destro\u00e7ada. Mas tens de aprender a deixar ir. <\/span><\/p>\n

Eu sei que <\/b>as consequ\u00eancias do abuso<\/b><\/a> \u00e9 horr\u00edvel. <\/b>I know it hurts and I know you\u2019re lost. But you don\u2019t have to be lost. <\/span><\/p>\n

You have someone who\u2019s willing to guide you toward the light.<\/span> S\u00f3 precisa de estar disposto a deixar a escurid\u00e3o. <\/span><\/p>\n

Trust me, I know how it all feels. And I don\u2019t want you to mess up a good thing because of the past. Missing a great man because of a toxic one who emotionally drained you is something you\u2019ll regret for the rest of your life. <\/span><\/p>\n

See, after my abuse, I just wanted to be left alone. I was so tired and so shattered that even all the glue in the world couldn\u2019t put my broken pieces together.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Constru\u00ed muros, guardei o meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o e prometi a mim pr\u00f3prio que n\u00e3o queria mais amor para o resto da minha vida. <\/span><\/p>\n

There was a whole life going on out there, outside of my walls but I wasn\u2019t curious to peek out and see what it was all about. <\/span><\/p>\n

There were people worthy of my attention wanting to get in but I wouldn\u2019t let them. I just wanted to be left alone to drown myself in my own misery. <\/span><\/p>\n

But then someone shook me out of my own pity. Someone took me by the hand, sat next to me and told me something I\u2019ll never forget. <\/span><\/p>\n

He told me: \u201cDarling, life is meant to be shared and not lived alone. We\u2019re all created from one soul divided into two parts. <\/span>I know what happened to you makes you think that being alone is the best thing in this world and I know it feels comfortable now but one day it will be so lonely and dark, and by the time you realize that you would\u2019ve pushed away all those who wanted to be there next to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Silhueta<\/p>\n

He also told me that I shouldn\u2019t let my past destroy me but that I should make it a lesson I\u2019d never forget. <\/span><\/p>\n

He told me that there was more to life than allowing those who wanted to destroy me to see me at the bottom. He said: \u201cThat\u2019s not how you win in life. <\/span><\/p>\n

You win by being happy and continuing to live and love even after you\u2019ve <\/span>passou por um inferno<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n

You win by showing that nothing can break you and that nothing can destroy your spark. You win by deciding to love again but this time by choosing the right guy to give your love to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After hearing these words, I was shook. I was shook because I didn\u2019t even realize that guarding myself and choosing to live the rest of my life alone was the place where my abuser wanted me to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was allowing him to win. And you\u2019re making the same mistake. But I\u2019m here to stop you from making that mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I know something small triggers your memories. I know you don\u2019t know how to react to love, kindness, warmth and dedication. I know commitment to you equals being trapped in a cage with the possibility of being abused once again. But there is a way around this, I swear. <\/b><\/p>\n

Abrace o seu eu imperfeito<\/span><\/a>. Love your flaws. Cherish your broken pieces. Appreciate the long road you\u2019ve been down because it taught you something. <\/span><\/p>\n

It taught you that you\u2019re way stronger than you could ever think. It taught you that no matter what happens to you, you\u2019re a fighter and you will survive. But please, don\u2019t turn yourself into a living corpse. <\/span><\/p>\n

You were convinced that you were not the kind of woman who\u2019d ever be abused. You thought it\u2019d never happen to you and you were caught off guard. It happened to me too. And to thousands of other women. <\/span><\/p>\n

Honey, we\u2019re all walking targets for narcissists, sociopaths and other abusers because we never see it coming. <\/span><\/p>\n

Apanham-nos desprevenidos e, durante demasiado tempo, permanecemos em rela\u00e7\u00f5es t\u00f3xicas, incapazes de compreender o que se est\u00e1 a passar, incapazes de sair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

E quando finalmente sa\u00edmos, acabamos por ser consumidos pela vergonha, pelo facto de nos termos transformado em v\u00edtimas.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mas podes escolher n\u00e3o ser uma v\u00edtima. Pode escolher tornar-se um lutador.<\/b><\/p>\n

Pode optar por <\/span>ultrapassar o passado<\/span><\/a>. Podes libertar-te dessas correntes e escolher amar apesar do teu medo<\/span>\u2014<\/span>s\u00f3 que desta vez, tenham cuidado a quem entregam o vosso cora\u00e7\u00e3o. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know you\u2019re scared and that you think it might happen again. <\/span><\/p>\n

But what if your fear is pushing a good man away? What if all that\u2019s going on in your head is making you pull back from a man who\u2019s actually worthy of your love?<\/span><\/p>\n

Years from now, we’ll be sorry we were so naive to fall for our abuser. Years from now, we\u2019ll feel ashamed for allowing someone to treat us so badly. But I swear that years from now the thing we\u2019ll regret the most is pushing away the one man who\u2019d do anything, literally anything, for us.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

O lado positivo do seu abuso \u00e9 o facto de agora ser mais s\u00e1bio.<\/b> Agora j\u00e1 sabe como detetar um agressor e sabe como lidar com ele. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t allow the fear of repeating the past stop you from living your life. Don\u2019t cross love off of your life\u2019s list just because you\u2019re scared. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nem todos os homens s\u00e3o abusadores. <\/b>Nem todos os homens querem receber sem dar nada em troca. H\u00e1 homens que se preocupam, que se preocupam genuinamente consigo e com os seus sentimentos. <\/span><\/p>\n

H\u00e1 homens que a amar\u00e3o ao ponto de a fazer esquecer que foi maltratada. <\/span><\/p>\n

There is a man who\u2019s ready to tiptoe around you until you\u2019re ready to let him in. There is a man who\u2019ll slowly put your demons to bed. There is someone whose love will light up your whole world. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let sparks of new love frighten you. Now you know which sparks will burn you alive and which will keep you warm.<\/b><\/p>\n

\"Quando<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is this old saying that goes something like this: A burnt child dreads the fire. You too, like a little child, have been burnt so hard that now even the smallest spark reminds you of a great fire. You fear that what happened to you in your past might happen again. You fear that…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":93858,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29632],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-and-trauma"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29632,"label":"abuse & trauma"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/When-Your-Past-Abuse-Makes-You-Push-A-Good-Man-Away-Read-This.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Maria Parker","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/maria\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29632,"name":"abuse & trauma","slug":"abuse-and-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29632,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","parent":22911,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29632,"category_count":138,"category_description":"Learn the signs of emotional and physical abuse and how to protect yourself from toxic patterns in relationships with your partner, friends or family.","cat_name":"abuse & trauma","category_nicename":"abuse-and-trauma","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17747"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17747\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/93858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}