{"id":18638,"date":"2018-05-14T07:27:01","date_gmt":"2018-05-14T07:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=18638"},"modified":"2021-08-12T08:45:44","modified_gmt":"2021-08-12T08:45:44","slug":"licoes-aprendidas-com-a-rutura","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/licoes-aprendidas-com-a-rutura\/","title":{"rendered":"Li\u00e7\u00f5es aprendidas com a fragilidade"},"content":{"rendered":"

Quando a minha pr\u00f3pria sombra j\u00e1 n\u00e3o caminhava ao meu lado, foi nesse dia que percebi que a tua escurid\u00e3o, da qual eu fazia parte, estava a apoderar-se de mim. Senti-me como se fosse uma planta a morrer. Por dentro, estava a morrer devido \u00e0 falta de ilumina\u00e7\u00e3o que n\u00e3o conseguiste lan\u00e7ar. Estava a definhar e sentia-me t\u00e3o incontrol\u00e1vel. N\u00e3o podia suportar nem mais um momento rodeada por um estranho que residia no meu pr\u00f3prio corpo. A parte mais dolorosa era que a minha fam\u00edlia n\u00e3o compreendia a pessoa em que me estava a tornar e eu tamb\u00e9m n\u00e3o. Foi nessa altura que decidi recuperar a minha dignidade e levantar-me, por mais tr\u00e9mula que estivesse. Precisava de recuperar a pessoa que j\u00e1 fui, sem ti.<\/p>\n

The feeling of that day was glorious. I felt like a queen. I felt like myself again\u2026<\/p>\n

I know in the beginning it\u2019s natural to recognize the pain that brought us to this very moment. It\u2019s natural to spend time, thought and energy on those horrible things that were not only said but done. I do believe there is a certain amount of tempo que precisamos para n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios para nos curarmos<\/a> mas ao passarmos demasiado tempo a reviver o horror, ignoramos o verdadeiro trabalho que precisa de ser feito. Esse verdadeiro trabalho \u00e9 concentrarmo-nos em n\u00f3s pr\u00f3prios. O verdadeiro trabalho \u00e9 aprender como se tornar a pessoa que j\u00e1 foi sem esse veneno na sua vida. O verdadeiro trabalho \u00e9 percebermos o que queremos na vida e percebermos que somos muito mais do que uma pessoa que nos fez sentir assim.<\/p>\n

That very moment you realize you deserve love and respect is the very moment you are set free and are no longer shackled by his chains. That\u2019s the very moment when you are no longer the victim but the victor.<\/p>\n

I found solace in writing about how I felt. I also saw a pattern when I wrote down what had occurred in the past and what I wanted for the future for me. I no longer wanted him to break me. I no longer wanted a place for him in my heart. No longer was I going to focus on the demons of his past and what he had done. I took what I learned and created my own self-guide to becoming the person I was once before him\u2026<\/p>\n

Estar grato pelas li\u00e7\u00f5es que aprendeu com ele<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

Acredito que as pessoas s\u00e3o colocadas na nossa vida por uma raz\u00e3o espec\u00edfica, e cada uma delas tem causas e resultados espec\u00edficos para o fazer. Algumas ficam. Outras v\u00e3o-se embora. Acredito que o facto de ele ter entrado na minha vida foi a li\u00e7\u00e3o mais dif\u00edcil<\/a> I\u2019ve ever had to learn but one thing for certain is I\u2019m forever grateful for this. I went through hell but I do believe without him weakening me to almost nothing I would have never seen my full potential that I deserved to show myself. I would have never seen what a truly strong woman I am and I would have never met my expectation of becoming the woman I wanted to be. For that, I am grateful. I learned a very important lesson from all of this madness and this was that happiness is something that comes from within, happiness is not something you should allow someone to take hostage of and happiness should be shared but never taken advantage of.<\/p>\n

Ser paciente e gentil consigo pr\u00f3prio<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

I know this may seem impossible after dating someone who\u2019s a grandiose narcissist. So stop yelling at yourself about the past and remember what\u2019s done is done. You cannot change the past but only move forward. You are allowed to grieve, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed to get mad. It is so important that you understand that the same kindness that you give to others you have to give to yourself. I had found I had to distance myself from my friends and family because I felt so pressured to just get over someone so quickly. You cannot lose sight of being patient with yourself. I know it\u2019s frustrating every waking moment as you feel as if all your energy is going to someone else but remember that wounds take time to heal.<\/p>\n

Libertar-se do passado e perdoar<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

I know it will take a while to forgive the person who destroyed you but in order to move forward with your life, it\u2019s best to put the past behind you. I had to remind myself that I should always shower people with kindness no matter if that action cannot be shown to myself in return. Once you realize you are a much better person, you are able to focus on what your future holds. Remember that although this was not your fault, it is always important to forgive, because if we hold onto some part of the bitterness, we only become the person he wanted us to be. You are much stronger than that.<\/p>\n

Reconectar-se com quem se \u00e9<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

I spent many nights alone by myself. Thinking about my past before I had met him. Thinking about the person I once was. Thinking about how to get back to that person that not only my friends and family craved but I also desired. I found comfort in being alone, because this helped me put my thoughts together. I\u2019m not saying stay at home and shut everyone out because everyone is different. However, what helped me get back to myself was remembering the things that brought joy into my life. I loved to write, I loved to dance, going out for drinks with my friends, and making the decisions I wanted to make, but I have never felt so free and unbound by anyone as when I was out running alone. I remembered that those things made me who I am and those things brought happiness to myself.<\/p>\n

Definir objectivos para si pr\u00f3prio<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

I always had goals in all aspects of life; work, friends, and family. But the hardest one was for myself. It took me speaking to my sister about this. She said to me, \u201cWhat does Annie really want?\u201d I knew what I wanted but I didn\u2019t know how to get there. I knew I wanted to make a list but every list I had always created was based solely on another person. Doesn\u2019t seem like much of a goal does it? I took myself back to what made myself happy, learning that I needed to set exceptions for myself and myself only. I chose to complete an Ironman. To start a charity that gives back to others because my heart yearns the feeling of giving back to others. And to write to help others who have never felt as lost as I have. To stop looking for the perfect husband and focus on the goals I wanted to accomplish, because the only person I know who can help me accomplish these are myself. That within itself is the best feeling anyone can have.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let his darkness consume you, let his darkness be the very beginning of your realization. You are a queen. You are a force to be reckoned with. Choose your own destiny and give yourself your own strength. You are the only one who can heal your broken heart. S\u00f3 tu podes criar felicidade dentro de ti<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my own shadow no longer walked beside me, that was the day I realized your darkness, which I had been a part of, was taking over me. I felt as if I was a plant dying. On the inside, I was dying from the lack of illumination you failed to cast. I was withering…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":18640,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29628],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dealing-with-breakup"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29628,"label":"dealing with breakup"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/anna-kolosyuk-485251-unsplash-1.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"April Callaghan","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/april\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29628,"name":"dealing with breakup","slug":"dealing-with-breakup","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29628,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Breakups are painful but worry not; you don't need to go through all of it alone. If you need advice on when and how to break up, you'll find it all here.\r\n","parent":29627,"count":263,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29628,"category_count":263,"category_description":"Breakups are painful but worry not; you don't need to go through all of it alone. If you need advice on when and how to break up, you'll find it all here.\r\n","cat_name":"dealing with breakup","category_nicename":"dealing-with-breakup","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18638","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18638"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18638\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}