{"id":18828,"date":"2020-09-17T07:18:42","date_gmt":"2020-09-17T07:18:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/herway.net\/?p=18828"},"modified":"2022-01-09T22:31:31","modified_gmt":"2022-01-09T22:31:31","slug":"a-vida-depois-de-amar-um-psicopata-emocional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/a-vida-depois-de-amar-um-psicopata-emocional\/","title":{"rendered":"A vida depois de amar um psicopata emocional"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is where my story begins. I won’t skip right to the end because nothing happened overnight.<\/p>\n

Tudo isto aconteceu h\u00e1 alguns anos. E, nessa altura, o que eu pensava que ia ser uma bela hist\u00f3ria de amor transformou-se num horror.<\/p>\n

A few years ago, my soon to be ex-husband\u2014who turned out to be a complete emotional psycho and an infinite, heartless bastard\u2014saw me with my group of friends at the annual firm thing..<\/p>\n

Ele disse que se apaixonou por mim, por isso decidiu fazer alguma coisa.<\/p>\n

Now that I look back to that moment, I didn\u2019t do anything and I asked for nothing. He came to me, he courted me and may I say, he knew what he was doing.<\/p>\n

Ele era t\u00e3o perfeito cavalheiro<\/a>, handsome and eloquent\u2014every woman\u2019s dream. But I didn\u2019t ask for it.<\/p>\n

I often imagine what would have happened if I hadn\u2019t come to the dinner, if I had been sick. Then I would never have met him and my life would have gone down a completely different track.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

But, I did meet him and what\u2019s even worse, I fell in love with him.<\/p>\n

Ele falava-me com do\u00e7ura e entrou na minha vida de forma lenta e impercet\u00edvel com o seu rabo psic\u00f3tico. Ele abusou de mim e levou-me ao meu ponto de rutura sem que eu me apercebesse.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I thought I was going insane. I double-checked every fucking decision I made\u2014that\u2019s if I was even able to make it. All of that because of his devious self.<\/strong><\/p>\n

These people have a special skill. They are so smooth and sophisticated that you won\u2019t even know you are being abused\u2014at least not until it\u2019s all over and you have to find a way to deal with your brokenness, and heal your mind and your soul from so much evil.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what happened to me. Only when I left, after 7 years of marriage I realized that I was being emotionally abused.<\/p>\n

I was being used and bullied. In my marriage, I was the unpopular new kid in the school and he was the pretentious and beautiful but abusive jock who turned each new kid\u2019s next day into a living nightmare.<\/p>\n

Antes de o conhecer, eu era muito confiante. Sabia que tinha bom aspeto e que era inteligente. Sabia que podia ter tudo na minha vida se me esfor\u00e7asse o suficiente para o conseguir.<\/p>\n

\"jovem<\/p>\n

Para mim, os sonhos n\u00e3o eram apenas sonhos. Eu sabia como transform\u00e1-los em realidade.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t scared of anything. I knew how to ask for something I wanted badly and I knew how to stick up for myself when I needed to.<\/p>\n

Eu era uma borboleta social. Tinha muitos amigos e gostava mesmo de estar com eles, contar piadas e hist\u00f3rias.<\/p>\n

Eu era realmente uma pessoa completa. Estava feliz comigo pr\u00f3prio. Isso foi at\u00e9 tudo come\u00e7ar a desvanecer-se lentamente.<\/strong><\/p>\n

During our marriage, I started changing. I wasn\u2019t feeling beautiful anymore and I definitely didn\u2019t have the confidence to take on the world anymore.<\/p>\n

Os meus sonhos transformaram-se em pesadelos que eu queria que acabassem, que parassem.<\/p>\n

I began to lock myself in the house because I was scared that if I left, something might happen to me, something that I wouldn\u2019t be able to control. I started to be afraid of life.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

Ignorei os meus amigos porque ele me fez uma lavagem cerebral para pensar que s\u00f3 ele \u00e9 importante. Ele convenceu-me de que era a \u00fanica pessoa na minha vida em quem podia confiar.<\/p>\n

A verdade era muito diferente disso. Ele era a \u00fanica pessoa na minha vida que eu devia ter cuidado.<\/p>\n

Ele fez-me acreditar que eu era respons\u00e1vel por tudo.<\/strong> Como j\u00e1 referi, psicopatas emocionais<\/a> aren\u2019t always mean. They can sweet talk you and convince you of things and they will never get bored.<\/p>\n

One minute, you\u2019re fighting and the other next, he\u2019s hugging you and telling you that it\u2019s okay, it\u2019s not your fault you\u2019re emotional, you can\u2019t help yourself.<\/p>\n

Na verdade, eles convencem-no de que foi o respons\u00e1vel pela briga e t\u00eam a bondade de o ignorar e perdoar-lhe.<\/p>\n

Ele iluminou-me com g\u00e1s.<\/strong> Ele fez-me acreditar que as coisas que eram claras como o dia n\u00e3o eram verdadeiras, que eu estava a imaginar tudo.<\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, um dia li algumas mensagens no telem\u00f3vel dele que ele se esqueceu de apagar e percebi que ele me estava a trair. E quando decidi confront\u00e1-lo sobre isso, ele virou a mesa.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

He started yelling at me, telling me that I was insane, that I\u2019m imagining things. This fight went on for a few days. He was convincing me aggressively that I\u2019m wrong, that he didn\u2019t do anything and I read that he did.<\/p>\n

Li-o com os meus pr\u00f3prios olhos. Em breve comecei a duvidar de mim pr\u00f3prio. Senti que talvez, de alguma forma, tivesse interpretado mal tudo aquilo.<\/p>\n

Maybe it wasn\u2019t his fault after all. You see? It was his plan all along. He didn\u2019t have an excuse for his behavior because I caught him lying, so he created a situation in which he could manipulate me into thinking that I am the crazy one.<\/p>\n

Ele culpava-me por tudo.<\/strong> Sempre que tinha um problema, arranjava maneira de me culpar por isso.<\/p>\n

If he had troubles at work, he would blame me for them because I\u2019m stressing him out at home.<\/p>\n

Se ele fosse multado por excesso de velocidade, a culpa era minha, mais uma vez, porque eu o tinha irritado e ele conduzia depressa para desabafar.<\/p>\n

Ele destruiu-me.<\/strong> Os psicopatas emocionais s\u00e3o pessoas fracas que n\u00e3o t\u00eam nada melhor para fazer na vida do que control\u00e1-lo<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

Alimentam-se do controlo. Isso d\u00e1-lhes poder e a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o de que s\u00e3o importantes.<\/p>\n

Alimentava-me com pensamentos t\u00f3xicos para me impedir de ver a mulher bonita, inteligente e forte que sou, para me poder controlar mais facilmente. Dei por mim a acreditar nessa merda.<\/p>\n

Pensava mesmo que n\u00e3o era ningu\u00e9m sem ele, por isso agarrei-me ainda mais a ele porque pensava que ele era a melhor coisa que eu poderia ter.<\/p>\n

I thought I was broken and no one would love me for me, so I better appreciate him for \u2018putting up\u2019 with me. He had the power to make me believe anything he wanted.<\/p>\n

Ele tirou-me para fora.<\/strong> He isolated me from the rest of the world. He convinced me that I didn\u2019t need my friends because I have him.<\/p>\n

E o que estava realmente em causa era o facto de ele ter tanto medo que os meus amigos e as pessoas que realmente gostam de mim me pusessem algum ju\u00edzo na cabe\u00e7a e me abrissem os olhos para ver o idiota que ele era.<\/p>\n

He was afraid they will convince me to do what\u2019s the best for myself and leave him. He had invested so much time making me \u2018perfect\u2019 according to his standards to let my friends ruin all of that.<\/p>\n

\"homem<\/p>\n

Por isso, podem perguntar-se por que raz\u00e3o aguentei tanto tempo esta merda. Quem me dera poder dar-vos uma resposta direta. Gostava de saber a raz\u00e3o. Mas h\u00e1 uma coisa que vos posso dizer.<\/p>\n

Eu estava apaixonado; estava cego de amor.<\/p>\n

I was manipulated so hard that I failed to see what was really going on around me. Combine manipulation and love and here you go – a perfect recipe for a toxic disaster.<\/p>\n

Houve alturas em que abri os olhos por um momento e vi a realidade como ela era, mas uma parte de mim ignorou-a na esperan\u00e7a de que desaparecesse e uma parte de mim queria lutar por ele e ajud\u00e1-lo a mudar.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mas n\u00e3o h\u00e1 cura para pessoas como ele.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There is no magic wand that will take away the evil mind and turn it into loving and compassionate one. I learned that the hard way. Don\u2019t make the same mistake I did!<\/strong><\/p>\n

As consequ\u00eancias de namorar um psicopata emocional<\/a> \u00e9 algo com que temos de lidar. Sim, era mais f\u00e1cil desistir. Podia ter-me fechado no meu quarto e ficar l\u00e1 at\u00e9 apodrecer.<\/p>\n

Sim, podia ter-me destru\u00eddo com \u00e1lcool e drogas. Sim, podia ter-me envolvido em comportamentos desonestos, mas onde \u00e9 que isso me levaria?<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

O que \u00e9 que eu ganharia sen\u00e3o uma vers\u00e3o ainda mais pat\u00e9tica de mim pr\u00f3prio?<\/p>\n

Em vez disso, decidi seguir em frente.<\/strong> Decidi para aprender a minha li\u00e7\u00e3o<\/a>para pegar na sua tentativa de destruir completamente a minha vida e vir\u00e1-la a meu favor.<\/p>\n

I grew and I swore to myself that I won\u2019t hate myself and never let someone hurt and use me in that way ever again.<\/p>\n

Em vez de ressentimento e \u00f3dio, sinto-me orgulhoso.<\/strong> I\u2019m very proud of myself. Yes, I fell into his trap. I bought every one of his lies.<\/p>\n

Estava cega pelo seu falso sucesso, mas consegui ser eu mesma na altura em que mais precisava de o ser.<\/p>\n

I proved to myself that no matter how low I sink in my life, no matter if I hit the rock bottom, I can rise again and go back to the place I fell from\u2014and even higher.<\/p>\n

Apercebi-me que era t\u00e3o forte.<\/strong> Sobrevivi a uma vida com um psicopata emocional e recuperei.<\/p>\n

\"mulher<\/p>\n

I learned from my mistakes without anyone\u2019s help. I was on the edge, but I grabbed the last branch and I fought not to fall down.<\/p>\n

If it weren\u2019t for him, I would never have seen how much shit I could take in my life. I would never have seen my true worth and I would never have appreciated myself as I do now.<\/p>\n

I was strong and independent before, but that\u2019s nothing in comparison with what I am today. And if it weren\u2019t for emotional abuse, for the brainwashing and gaslighting, I would have stayed the same.<\/p>\n

Desta forma, tornei-me melhor, mais forte e mais inteligente.<\/p>\n

Continuou a ser a mesma pobre e fraca alma psic\u00f3tica, \u00e0 procura de um corpo a que se agarrar e sugar. Ele depender\u00e1 dos outros para o resto da sua vida.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m good all by myself. I don\u2019t need a man to define me. I fought in the greatest battle of my life and I won.<\/p>\n

Ele? Ele continuou a ser o mesmo velho bastardo sorrateiro.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is where my story begins. I won’t skip right to the end because nothing happened overnight. All of this went down a couple of years ago. And at that time, what I thought is going to be a beautiful love story turned into a horror. A few years ago, my soon to be ex-husband\u2014who…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":112925,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29631],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18828","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-getting-over-him"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29631,"label":"getting over him"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Life-After-Loving-An-Emotional-Psychopath-1024x684.jpg",1024,684,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Leah Lee","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/leah\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29631,"name":"getting over him","slug":"getting-over-him","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29631,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","parent":29627,"count":124,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29631,"category_count":124,"category_description":"Getting over someone you still care about is one of the biggest challenges, but nothing is impossible when you know you're not alone, so check out our brilliant advice.","cat_name":"getting over him","category_nicename":"getting-over-him","category_parent":29627}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18828","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18828"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18828\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18828"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18828"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18828"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}