I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl would have taken a dagger to the asshole who was deciding to tell his girlfriend, on her BIRTHDAY, yes, on my birthday, that he couldn\u2019t do this anymore.<\/p>\n
As I watched his lips move up and down, I zoned out into another dimension. In my brain I was thinking, isn\u2019t attraction the first thing that happens in a relationship? So why now was this epiphany just coming to him? Confusion ran through my mind. Confusion ran through my mind like wildfire.<\/p>\n
The abundant amount of support and endless encouragement I gave him when it came to what was important to him\u2014those so-called Ironmans and a close call with an almost job loss, Eu estava l\u00e1. Estava sempre l\u00e1 para o levantar todos os dias.<\/strong> Eu estava l\u00e1 para o ajudar a construir esses blocos de confian\u00e7a quando ele precisava de um impulso extra de encorajamento. Elogiei-o, elogiei-o e, sim, at\u00e9 lhe limpei as feridas quando ele caiu da bicicleta a competir nos Ironmans. Eu estava l\u00e1.<\/strong> Eu estava l\u00e1 para tudo isto e eu estava l\u00e1 enquanto estudava para os exames, trabalhava a tempo inteiro e ainda assim arranjava tempo para ele, para lhe dar o amor que eu achava que ele merecia.<\/strong> I did not ask for anything from him except just a little bit of his heart and attention in return. I never understood why he couldn\u2019t have just given just a little of himself…<\/p>\n Looking back on it, I now understood why he couldn\u2019t support me the way I supported him. In addition to his salary-earning full-time job, he had another full-time job catering to the 40 year-old spinning instructor, the 35 year-old Ironman girl and the 32 year-old aspiring country singer. They were introduced to me as \u2018amigos<\/strong>\u2019. I was so naive\u2014I actually believed a good-looking man could have female friends. After all, I\u2019m an attractive female and I have plenty of male friends who are truly just friends. Well, I may have been naive but I\u2019m not stupid. My girl radar was up on high alert after a few rounds of questioning him about his friends. I was truly just asking about what they did and he turned it around to faz-me sentir como se eu fosse o louco<\/strong><\/a>. He said \u2018all my questions\u2019 reflected my own insecurities (no, asswipe, I truly was interested in who they were, what they did, etc.) He tried very hard to deflect and make me feel as if I was some crazy, psycho bitch. He filled my head with his lies.<\/p>\n Back to my birthday\u2026 I felt so sad and lonely and never had I felt such humiliation. His words cut me to the core of my being. It took him this long to determine he wasn\u2019t attracted to me?<\/p>\n Felizmente, com a ajuda de outras pessoas, consegui perceber que eram as suas pr\u00f3prias inseguran\u00e7as t\u00f3xicas que ele tinha projetado em mim. He was doing his best to destroy me\u2014until there was nothing left.<\/strong> Quase o tinha deixado ganhar com os seus jogos mentais doentios. Quase o tinha deixado ganhar ao despojar-me do meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o e da minha alma.<\/p>\n Aprendi lentamente a rezar menos para o afastar e para as mem\u00f3rias dolorosas e mais para a arte de ultrapassar a dor.<\/strong> Ao longo da aprendizagem de como ultrapassar a dor, apercebi-me de que cada dia e fiz uma promessa a mim pr\u00f3pria de me reconstruir na mulher que era antes de o conhecer.<\/p>\n Eu sabia que precisava de ajuda e o que me ajudou a superar o meu pai foi a alegria que senti ao correr. Correr tornou-se uma necessidade para mim, sabe, como comida e \u00e1gua.<\/p>\n Correr era o meu escape muito especial e tornou-se o meu sess\u00e3o di\u00e1ria de terapia<\/strong> when I couldn\u2019t stop those hurtful words echoing throughout my mind. Running helped me find my own voice.<\/p>\n I needed to run. I needed to run every day. I needed to run for my own sanity. I\u2019m not sure if it is because of the endorphins that are released but running became my drug of choice when dealing with the pain.<\/p>\n Considero a corrida como o melhor anti-depressivo que algu\u00e9m pode tomar.<\/strong> A corrida leva for\u00e7a e resist\u00eancia f\u00edsica.<\/strong> Running helped my body physically and mentally. Physically, running helped improve my much-lost sleep at night caused by the haunting, painful memories. Mentally, running helped me to think clearly and to rebuild my self-esteem and ego\u2014which had been stripped to absolutely nothing.<\/p>\n Running wasn\u2019t just about distance and mileage for me. I set goals mentally. Each runPrometi a mim pr\u00f3prio continuar a correr at\u00e9 que a dor e o p\u00e2nico das suas mem\u00f3rias t\u00f3xicas diminu\u00edssem cada vez mais e a sua voz se calasse.<\/strong> Prometi a mim pr\u00f3pria que, a cada corrida, iria enfrentar os medos que ele me tinha colocado.<\/p>\n Correr ensinou-me algo sobre a vida em geral. Alguns dias ser\u00e3o melhores do que outros. Some days you\u2019ll have the absolute best run of your life and some days you\u2019ll barely find the fuel to keep your legs going.<\/strong> Tal como em alguns dias com ele, mal conseguia aguentar a dor e noutros era totalmente invenc\u00edvel.<\/p>\n Correr foi a minha cura para tudo e o meu mecanismo de sobreviv\u00eancia para voltar a controlar a minha vida. Por isso, encorajo-o a ir em frente e a suar, a abrir o kit de primeiros socorros que inclui t\u00e9nis e uma roupa gira. Corra at\u00e9 que a dor se torne cada vez menor e a sua a for\u00e7a supera<\/strong> toda a sua negatividade.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was waiting for the camera crews to come out from the shadows when my very serious of a boyfriend decided to inform me he was no longer \u2018sexually attracted\u2019 to me. First, I was in shock. Then I was mostly grateful that my fight or flight was impaired at that moment. Any normal girl…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":19391,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29636],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-help"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29636,"label":"self help"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/adult-beautiful-black-clothes-1040424.jpg",800,533,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Christine Keller","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/christine\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29636,"name":"self help","slug":"self-help","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29636,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","parent":22911,"count":314,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29636,"category_count":314,"category_description":"Whenever you feel lost or hurt in love and life, these self-help tips will help you overcome challenges and make you feel better instantly.","cat_name":"self help","category_nicename":"self-help","category_parent":22911}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}