{"id":20085,"date":"2018-06-22T07:38:15","date_gmt":"2018-06-22T07:38:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/herway.net\/?p=20085"},"modified":"2022-01-19T15:07:18","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T15:07:18","slug":"o-meu-felizes-para-sempre-acabou-por-ser-o-meu-pior-pesadelo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/o-meu-felizes-para-sempre-acabou-por-ser-o-meu-pior-pesadelo\/","title":{"rendered":"O meu \"felizes para sempre\" acabou por ser o meu pior pesadelo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Contos de fadas e felizes para sempre<\/em> existem, mas tamb\u00e9m existem coisas t\u00e3o horr\u00edveis como a trai\u00e7\u00e3o e a infidelidade. Quer se traia ou se seja tra\u00eddo, a infidelidade ensina-nos algumas li\u00e7\u00f5es importantes sobre rela\u00e7\u00f5es. Por acaso, fui eu que a recebi e acabou por ser uma das experi\u00eancias mais dolorosas e devastadoras da minha vida.<\/p>\n

Quando me deparei com a amarga realidade de que o meu suposto conto de fadas n\u00e3o passou de uma farsa<\/a>, it was like someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. It seemed like I was falling into a deep, dark pit and I am falling and falling and couldn\u2019t seem to stop! When I had all the solid proof in front of me, I literally froze. It was mind-numbing feeling.<\/p>\n

But I must say, as so many other people say in my position, that I should have seen it coming. When something seems too perfect, it surely isn\u2019t. When you face the bitter facts, it looks like the fog has cleared. No one should make the same mistake that I did. I should confess that I have always been a positive person. There is nothing wrong with that but I was positive to such an extent that it has allowed people in general \u2013 friends, family, colleagues to walk all over me. I have always been inclined to see the good in people, no matter what. It was my life ideology.<\/p>\n

But one needs to know this \u2013 clear as day \u2013 people can be horrible, mean and insensitive and no amount of good you do for them is going to change them. Yes, there are good people and there are bad people and this awful experience of being cheated on made me realize that I couldn\u2019t go on being empathic and understanding towards people who hurt me. After my boyfriend\u2019s infidelity, no matter how hurtful it was, it taught me about myself. I began to see relationships and love in a whole new light. I came face to face with my own strength which I didn\u2019t think I had.<\/p>\n

\"O\u00c0s vezes penso que me podia ter salvo de tudo isto. Estava sempre a negar o pressentimento que tinha de que algo n\u00e3o estava bem. O meu namorado, bem como os meus amigos, convenceram-me, com bastante sucesso, que era apenas a minha inseguran\u00e7a, pois nunca tinha estado numa rela\u00e7\u00e3o amorosa<\/a> for so long. It had been eight months since we had been going out. During our sixth month together, this feeling just kept nagging at me. That there was someone else. That I wasn\u2019t the only girl in his life.<\/p>\n

We did have a lot of mutual friends and knew the same people. But I had started noticing that he had begun to act differently but subtly though. For starters, there were some new additions to his vocabulary which weren\u2019t there in the beginning and we all know for a fact that when we spend a lot of time with someone, we do pick up the things they say and how they say it.<\/p>\n

Essa foi a primeira coisa, mas deixei passar. Depois, houve alguns casos em que ele desaparecia durante 2-3 horas e me mentia na cara que a bateria do telem\u00f3vel tinha acabado. Sempre que isso acontecia, os dias que se seguiam eram de uma felicidade total e eu costumava repreender-me por dar largas \u00e0 minha imagina\u00e7\u00e3o. Na realidade, era ele a tentar compensar o facto de me ter enganado.<\/p>\n

I discussed all of this with our close friend but all I got in response was that I was being paranoid and if I don\u2019t stop I\u2019ll end up losing something really great. A steady relationship – which I never had the experience of being in before. So, I just stopped talking about it and ignoring these telltale signs which I obviously shouldn\u2019t have. I am the kind of person who tries to avoid confrontation as much as possible and maybe deep down I didn\u2019t want to find something ugly. And I tried to avoid it for as long as possible. I mean, everything is going so good. We have a great time, have great chemistry, we live together so I can certainly forgive these absences now couldn\u2019t I? I shouldn\u2019t mess it up by being jealous and paranoid.<\/p>\n

But I should tell you that this gut feeling mechanism we have \u2013 it is there for a reason. The gut feeling that we get \u2013 it is nature\u2019s way of informing us. One should never ignore their gut feeling. It never lies. All of us happen to be equipped with an intuition and some of us choose to embrace or ignore it. I acknowledged it alright but never paid much attention to it.<\/p>\n

Being cheating on is an awful experience. There is nothing more terrible than knowing that the person you had put all your trust in has broken it. The knowledge that you put your trust in the wrong person who wasn\u2019t worthy of your love, attention, loyalty and most importantly \u2013 time, is heartbreaking. Because the time you have given or spent with someone, you are never going to get it back. Ever.<\/p>\n

So, I have learned now that I\u2019ll never again doubt my gut feeling or delay acting upon what it suggests. Well, nothing big happened when I got to know about his infidelity. I, who has always been an advocate of personal space and privacy, resorted to using a aplica\u00e7\u00e3o de espionagem de c\u00f4njuges<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I found out he was meeting with other women in secret and not only that, he had been chatting and sexting with them when I was in the same room! And I thought he had been playing games on his cell phone. As I stated earlier, I had always supported personal growth and privacy so it never occurred to me to check his cell phone before – ever. He knew that too that is why there was no lock on his phone and he had been doing all of this rather confidently.<\/p>\n

\"O<\/p>\n

Li as suas mensagens de texto, acedi aos seus registos de chamadas, \u00e0s suas conversas nas redes sociais, bem como aos locais onde tinha estado. Foram os piores tr\u00eas dias da minha vida. Tinha ficado completamente entorpecida e quando percebi j\u00e1 tinha tido o suficiente.<\/p>\n

Enviei-lhe um e-mail com as capturas de ecr\u00e3 e fui-me embora.<\/p>\n

Yes, I couldn\u2019t say a word. The pain and betrayal were too much to bear and after the things I read, I couldn\u2019t bring myself to see his face. I was filled with this bitter rage, remorse and so much pain that I felt someone had taken out my heart and ripped it into pieces. This was the relationship I had really thought could lead somewhere. But seems like I was more of a backup to show that he could be in a steady relationship. Turns out, he was and can never be a one-woman man.<\/p>\n

I believe in forgiveness. I do. Have I forgiven him? No. But I certainly have forgiven myself. I don\u2019t deserve to torture myself by repeatedly asking myself what went wrong. Was she prettier, funnier or smarter than me? I made myself miserable. I deserve to forgive myself for placing my trust in the wrong guy and giving me everything I had to offer. My love, time, emotions. But I cannot berate myself for loving someone who hurt me like this. You forgive your cheating partner or not, that is up to but forgiving yourself is the first most thing you need to do.<\/p>\n

My tendency to always look for the good in people is only appreciable when I don\u2019t let them walk all over me. It is no more a good trait if I keep doing it just for the sake of convincing myself that there was good in him \u2013 once. More than forgiving him, I deserved my own forgiveness for not packing and leaving sooner.<\/p>\n

Foi dif\u00edcil. Foi emocional e mentalmente destrutivo. Mas ultrapassei-o. Pouco a pouco. A maior li\u00e7\u00e3o que aprendi foi que, por vezes, as pessoas de quem mais gostamos s\u00e3o as que mais nos desiludem. No final do dia, poder\u00edamos inventar uma lista de defeitos para nos consolarmos e determinarmos a raz\u00e3o pela qual o nosso o parceiro faria batota<\/a>. Instead, look at what is good in you and remind yourself, you don\u2019t need a cheater in your life.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fairytales and happily-ever-afters do exist but so do things as horrifying as betrayal and infidelity. Whether you cheat or are cheated on, infidelity teaches us some major relationship lessons. I happened to be on the receiving end of it and it turned out to be one of the most heart-wrenching and devastating experiences of my…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":20086,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29619],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories-love"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29619,"label":"stories"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/herway.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/35963591_865669156956492_4572375329523367936_n-1024x455.jpg",1024,455,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Tara Brown","author_link":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/author\/tara-brown\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":29619,"name":"stories","slug":"stories-love","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29619,"taxonomy":"category","description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","parent":38,"count":424,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29619,"category_count":424,"category_description":"To all the souls struggling with complicated love experiences: These heartfelt stories about love, heartbreak, and moving on will be your voice of wisdom.","cat_name":"stories","category_nicename":"stories-love","category_parent":38}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/herway.net\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}